| Thinking of lost memories. Faded feelings which were replaced by others. People I knew and friends came and left. Wrong decisions and hatred resulted into fights. Filled with rage, forgetting about rational thinking I acted foolish. There was nothing to gain. Regrets take control and tears are shed. Nothing but chaos. Losing my mind over some unworthy bitches. Blaming myself, taking the pain to another level. A pain so intense I broke, barely surviving. Collected my shattered remains and started all over. 4got about the past turned my heart into this cold black rock. Continued life with the constant threat from outside. The pain remained and reminded me of myself as a being. Even though I wasn't that bad I got beaten down more than once. Making me hate myself. Good for nothing, a piece of shit, just another nobody. I was led down by a spiral. Looking at my own end and actually happy to see it. To know that it would all be over soon. But than you came into my life. At first I didn't really noticed it. I was too busy with myself, with my pain. But everytime I saw you something changed. I didn't knew it then but when you told me I saw you were right. You showed me my good side told me that I was a nice guy. I couldn't believe it. That someone actually didn't hurt me because of what I was. I realized that since a long time I felt an inner peace. I loved you for what you did. Never gonna forget what you achieved. I still love you. Even when you hurt me sometimes. Beating me into the ground with what you say. Then I return to that world of infinite pain and blame myself. Hoping for you to heal my wounds. Tired of all the fighting. It destroys more than you'll ever know. I never wanna hurt you. Love me like I love You. Dedicated to britt. jOhNduDe |
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| Nothing to gain |