09.10.03 LIGHTS! CAMERA!....AND THE OTHER THING!
Still doing the internship, still going well, despite notions to the contrary, still Jenny from the block.
The latest news with me is that I am working on a movie. It's an independent short film called Crocker and I am serving as the Production Assistant/Grip/Extra Set of Hands. We finished our first weekend of shooting and so far it's going well, despite one confrontation with the biggest spider ever. So be sure to look for Crocker where movies that I have worked on are sold.
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Depending on when you are reading this, Showtime is gearing up to show/has already shown DC 9/11, a "docudrama" about the white house's reaction to September 11th. According to TV critic Tom Shales, it's basically a huge campaign commercial for GWB, showing him to be this great hero who heroically utters such heroic phrases as "If some tinhorn terrorist wants me, tell him to come on over and get me. I'll be home!"
Now while this may be bad news for people worried about the White House controlling the media and for non-idiots, it comes as great news for bozos and for me! If this movie does well then the time will be right for me to strike with my retelling of the Iraq War: Sandstorm of Blood: The Revenge of Justice. It mixes historical non-facts with stupidity and explosions! If you like Vim Diesel and hate reading, then this movie is for you!
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Now, back by no demand whatsoever, it's:
INT. LAUNDRY ROOM NIGHT
FADE IN
JOHN stands by a dryer waiting for his clothes to finish drying. While he waits he rearranges a nearby bulletin board, letting his iron fist decide whether or not people should know about upcoming knitting classes.
HIPPIE-ISH NEIGHBOR GIRL enters talking on cell phone. JOHN REACTS, quickly moving away from bulletin board and focusing all his attention on his dryer in an attempt to make the dryer finish its cycle with his mind.
NEIGHBOR (on phone)
Oh, There's someone in here. Let me call you back.
She hangs up her phone, turns to JOHN and smiles in a friendly manner.
NEIGHBOR (to JOHN)
Sorry about that, I don't want to be Annoying-Person-Always-On-Cell-Phone
JOHN
That's OK, I just don't want you to think I'm Creepy-Guy-Who-Hangs-Out-In-The-Laundry-Room.
(chuckles nervously)
NEIGHBOR (confused)
What?
JOHN realizing his joke failed, starts sweating profusely and shifts his awkward into high gear.
JOHN (sweatily)
uhh...I..uh..just didn't want you to think that...uh...I was this guy that just...you
know..hung out here all the time..heh heh..(cough) I'm just getting my laundry.
NEIGHBOR
(dumbin' it down and talking like she's addressing a 4-year-old)
I was on a cell phone.
JOHN expresses his understanding by sweating even more. He mumbles something incoherently, removing his not-finished-drying clothes and leaving the laundry room as quickly as possible.
FADE OUT
Stay tuned for the next excitingly uncomfortable episode:
DANGER WEARS BLACK SOCKS WITH SANDALS!