INT. SADDAM'S BOMBED OUT PALACE
SADDAM and GEORGE W. continue fighting amid the rubble. From their bloodied faces, torn clothes, labored movements, it is clear that their struggle has lasted for some time and taken its toll on both of them. They are almost evenly matched, though it seems now that SADDAM has the upper hand.
GEORGE W.
Damn you, Saddam!
GEORGE W. charges his opponent. SADDAM raises both arms above his head and then delivers a mighty blow upon the shoulders of GEORGE W. knocking him to the ground.
SADDAM
Foolish American! Haven't you realized that there is no place for your beloved "freedom" here? How did you expect to defeat when even in your own homeland there are those who turn against you!
With these final words, SADDAM kicks the fallen GEORGE W. repeatedly in the stomach. SADDAM lets out a triumphant laughter as GEORGE W. slowly crawls away.
GEORGE W.
(muttering through the pain)
The anti-war protesters! No wonder my strength is fading. Without the unwavering backing of the American people my struggle is hopeless!
GEORGE W. yells in pain and collapses as SADDAM plants the heel of his boot onto GEORGE W.'s back.
SADDAM
It's over, you son of a jackal!
SADDAM picks up a giant chunk of debris and raises it above his head.
SADDAM
Now I will crush you along with your dreams of bringing peace and prosperity to this land! (laughs maniacally)
A lone gunshot is heard and the rock in SADDAM's hands falls apart. The madman's victorious grin is replaced by a look of bewilderment. He slowly turns around to investigate.
Through the hole that was once the second floor of the palace, we see a shadowy figure standing on a ledge. In his extended right hand we see a smoking gun. The figure lowers the gun and steps forward into a ray of sunlight that is entering through a broken window. As the light hits his face, a sneering GEORGE BUSH is revealed.
GEORGE
The only thing that's gonna get crushed around here is your empire of evil!
SADDAM
You infidel! You may have beaten me once, but not again!
If your powerful son could not stop me, what chance does an old fool like you have?
GEORGE's sneer turns into a smile.
GEORGE
Saddam, don't you know the sequel is never as good as the original?
With a mighty war cry, GEORGE swings forward on some nearby hanging drapes. SADDAM charges to meet him but is stopped short by a swift kick in the jaw from the descending ex-president.
A bitter struggle, set to a kick-ass soundtrack (Metallica?) ensues, but GEORGE clearly has the upper hand. Seeing his father fight so valiantly gives GEORGE W. renewed vigor despite the weakening of the American spirit.
With both GEORGE and GEORGE W. now in the fray, SADDAM has become nothing but a fleshy, mustachioed punching bag to this mighty duo. Just as SADDAM is about to fall, GEORGE thrusts his hand into SADDAM's chest and pulls out his still beating heart. He shows it to the dying dictator.
GEORGE
I always thought this would be black...
GEORGE throws the heart over his shoulder towards GEORGE W, who does an awesome spinning kung-fu kick, making contact with the heart and propelling it back into SADDAM?s open chest. The force of this propels the evildoer backwards into a nearby ammo stockpile causing massive explosions that tear the wall of the palace apart.
Amidst the rubble, father and son emerge and give each other victorious high fives. Through the newly formed hole in the once mighty palace, we see some Iraqi women in burkhas look at the carnage.
IRAQI WOMAN #1
Is it true, has Saddam finally fallen?
GEORGE W. approaches the woman. He lays a hand on her shoulder and looks earnestly into her eyes.
GEORGE W.
Your nightmare of terror has ended. Saddam and his stockpile of new-cue-lar bombs have been destroyed.
IRAQI WOMAN #1
At last, thank you so much America! Now we can be free!
The woman turns to her companions and relays the good news in Arabic. The women cheer and remove their burkhas, revealing that they are totally hot and bikini-clad. They begin smiling, giggling suggestively and winking at the two American champions
GEORGE W. turns to GEORGE and gives him a thumbs-up. They start toward the ladies.
Suddenly, the charred corpse of Saddam begins to twitch, stopping the presidents in their tracks. It sits up and out of its mouth flies out the spirit of OSAMA BIN LADEN!
OSAMA
You freedom-loving bacon eaters may have defeated my current form, but I am not defeated yet. My armies of terrorists will soon bring your precious liberty to her knees.
OSAMA cackles menacingly and then flies off.
The presidents are stunned, but their frozen silence is soon broken by the approach of the Presidential Attack Humvee as it pulls up to the palace. The tinted windows roll down revealing TOBY KEITH behind the wheel and some patriotic country music blasting out of the speakers.
TOBY
Hey, enough of the touchin' family reunion you two. Time for the Big Dog to stop barkin' and start bitin'. I've picked up some major activity on the terror-scope and Centcom just reported an Osama sightin' near Tadmur.
GEORGE
Tadmur? But that's in...
GEORGE W's eyes narrow and his jaw tightens as ominous music starts.
GEORGE W.
Syria. I should have known.
GEORGE and GEORGE W. exchange a knowing glance.
GEORGE and GEORGE W.
Let's Roll America!
They hop in the Humvee.
TOBY
That's what I wanted to hear! Now let's show Syria some Syri-ous Justice, America-Style! YEE-HAH!
The Humvee speeds off into the distance, the squeal of its tires a promise of a continued journey for freedom and a promise of more fighting for justice.
FADE TO CREDITS
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