Chapter 14
The soothing rocking that had lulled Melissa to sleep came to an abrupt stop and she awoke suddenly. Joey still slept beside her, unaffected by the unexpected halt. Quietly rising, she smiled, realizing he was accustomed to this life.
After a quick trip to the restroom, Melissa walked back to the front of the bus to find they were at a gas station. She giggled silently as she looked over in time to see Lance�s head bang against the wall for what must have been the tenth time.
When he opened his eyes, he saw Melissa and grinned. �What�s so damn funny?� he asked through narrowed eyes.
�You could have gone back to your bunk, ya know.�
�Well, I just wanted to uhm, give you two some privacy,� he answered, coloring slightly.
Melissa flushed, matching Lance�s complexion. �Oh, well, you can go back there now.�
�Nah, I�m not really all that tired. So, what did you thing about your first nsync experience?� he asked.
Melissa looked at him questioningly for a moment before she realized what he was referring to. �Oh, the concert,� she said, blushing again. �It was great! Y�all are really amazing. Any preconceived boyband notions I had have been completely blown away. And the club was a blast. I�m really enjoying myself Lance.�
He smiled back �Well, that�s good. I know Joey is,� he said without really thinking.
�I�m glad,� she said, only half-smiling as she sat down next to Lance. �Does he seem, I don�t know, different today?�
Lance wasn�t quite sure how to answer her. He knew that Joey was dealing with what he felt for Melissa. That accounted for his silence earlier in the day. �Well, he is kind of quiet today. He may just be tired.�
�Yeah,� she said distantly. �I just feel like maybe he�s�hell, I don�t know,� she sighed.
�Melissa, Joey is�Joey is complicated,� Lance said with a chuckle. �He�s kinda dealing with his feelings here. Contrary to popular belief, he�s not really a heartless dog. So don�t worry if he seems distant.�
Melissa smiled, giggling a little at Lance�s explanation. �Thanks Lance. I just�I know this isn�t permanent. It�s impossible. And I know I have feelings for him, Lance. It�s strange. I don�t do this. I don�t just jump into relationships,� she explained. �I mean, there�s a part of me that thinks I shouldn�t even have come. If I wouldn�t have, I�d never know what I was missing,� she said with a sigh, her blue eyes tearing.
�Yeah, but is that REALLY what you think, or just what you want to think?� Lance asked quietly.
�I wish I knew,� she admitted as she gave way to the downpour of tears that had been threatening to overflow. �I can�t feel like this Lance. I�ve only known him for two damn days. I don�t just go falling in love with men I don�t know,� she said, weeping softly.
�Yeah but Melissa, true, it�s only been two days,� Lance said as he put his arm around Melissa�s shoulder, �but who says you don�t know him? Look, I can�t know what you�re thinking, or what Joey is thinking for that matter. I�m not saying that it�s rational, but the heart isn�t rational. I don�t know what will happen. You just have to take it one step at a time.�
Melissa smiled through misty eyes. �Lance, I just�I do. I feel more than I should. And I feel like I�ve known him forever. I trust him. Maybe too much?�
�Well, I can say this for Joey. He may be seen as this womanizer, and yeah, he�s had his flings, but he�s one of the most loyal people I know. That�s really all I can tell you. When he loves someone, he�ll do anything for them. It just might take him some time to figure out what he�s got.�
Melissa silently wept, he face resting on Lance�s shoulder. �But Lance that�s just it. How do I know how he feels? What he�s given me has been a wonderful escape from reality. But after tomorrow, I go back home, and y�all go back on the road, and then�then I don�t know. Then I guess I learn to let go. Because yes, Joey may have feelings for me. But he doesn�t love me. I�m just a girl that he met and shared some time with. And that�s fine�my mind says that�s fine, but MY heart is just screaming, because it wants to love him. Because I DO love him, already, no matter how I try not to, and no matter how much I try to say it�s ok�it�s just not.�
�Melissa, Joey may not love you. He may though and he just can�t admit it. I can tell you this though. I�ve known Joey for quite some time, and whether he can admit it or not, you are NOT just another girl to him. I could tell that the moment I walked in and saw the two of you together. Don�t ask me how. Just intuition I guess.�
Melissa began to chuckle through her tears as Lance rubbed her shoulder. �Is this the best friend speech that you give all of Joey�s girlfriends?� Lance smiled, shaking his head no. �I don�t know how to handle it Lance. But I have to. It�s funny. This shouldn�t make any sense, but it just does.�
�Like I said, just take it as it comes. Be patient.�
�Yeah, you�re right. Thanks Lance. I�m glad I talked to you. I can�t imagine WHY I did, but I�m glad.�
Lance smiled, �Yeah, me too. Listen, if you need to talk to me, ever, just call me,� Lance said, handing Melissa a card.
�Thanks Lance,� she said smiling through retreating tears. �You may regret giving me your number though.�
They rode the rest of the way, quietly chatting about the impending show, about Melissa�s classes, her sister, really anything but Joey.
Just before they reached San Antonio, Joey came to the front of the bus, looking as if he�s just woke up. �Morning sleepyhead,� Melissa cooed as he kissed her forehead.
In truth, he had been awake for the better part of an hour, thinking of Melissa. Maybe it was a mistake, he thought, to ask her to come with them. Maybe he should have just gone back to his hotel that night. If he had, he wouldn�t have the conflicting emotions to deal with. He wouldn�t have this gut-wrenching feeling at the thought of leaving Melissa. He wouldn�t be falling in love.
He knew that was exactly what he was doing, too. He wanted to deny it. It wasn�t fair to either of them. In two days, she�d be gone. He�d be back on the road, the same temptations before him as always. She�d be at home, living her life, finishing school, maybe dating. That thought almost made him see red. He didn�t want another man to have her. He wanted her. He wanted to be the one, the only one to make love to her every night and wake up with her every morning, but how could he?
�You feeling a little more rested?� Melissa asked, pushing into his thoughts.
�Oh, uhm, yeah,� he lied. �How bout you?�
�Oh, I couldn�t sleep. I guess the bus woke me up. My bed at home generally stays fairly stationary,� she said smiling up at him.
He noticed that her eyes looked sad. It looked like she�d been crying. Why had she been crying? His first instinct was to hold her in his arms, stroke her hair and quiet her fears. He ached to go to her, but he knew he shouldn�t. He knew he had to let her go. He knew it wouldn�t be fair to either of them to continue this. They would enjoy the time they had left together, then it would be over.
Did it really have to be like that, though? Did their time together have to end? Maybe they could make it work. Maybe she could just leave everything behind and come away with him. Was that what she wanted though? Was it what he wanted? She was almost finished with school. In the fall, she�d be teaching-something she�d wanted to do for her entire life. How could he ask her to give that up? And what would she be giving it up for? She�d be giving up all that she had worked for to live life on the road, stealing moments away from the spotlight, days of waiting just to have a spare moment together. Even if she did stay at home and teach, how could she deal with the constant reports and pictures of him with other women? How would she feel the first time she turned on the television to see some random blonde draped around his neck? He knew that even if he didn�t invite it, it would happen. He knew too, though, that she was secure enough that she wouldn�t be the type to jump to conclusions. Joey suddenly felt dizzy. His conflicting emotions were getting the best of him, and he just felt tired.
He sat down, next to Melissa, wanting only to pull her into his arms and hold her against him. Though his mind told him not to, he reached for her, drawing her to his body as he kissed the top of her head. He placed his arms around her shoulders and breathed in her scent as he sighed against her hair.
Melissa relaxed as soon as he was holding her. All of her worries seemed to disappear when he touched her. She didn�t think about the fact that she had to go on, living her life, a life without Joey. She just let her feelings go and savored the feeling of his strong body supporting her.
As Joey caressed her neck with his right hand, Melissa shivered. She wanted him. That was something that she couldn�t deny, even if she wanted to. Every time he touched her or even looked at her, the feelings that had never really disappeared in the past two days came roaring back to the surface.
When Joey felt Melissa shudder beneath his touch he chuckled, kissing her neck softly. �You little shit,� she mumbled beneath her breath, bringing another chortle from Joey.
Lance watched the two with open curiosity. There was something there. It was as plain as day. Even Justin could see what was happening, but Joey was either blind to it, or he refused to acknowledge it. That was what worried Lance. If he didn�t know, he would soon and then he�d be kicking himself. He�d be a bear to live with. If he was aware of his feelings and was just trying to ignore them, he�d still be a pain in the ass.
That wasn�t even the worst part though. The worst part was that because of his pride or his own obstinacy, he would be missing out on something that could be really extraordinary; something not everyone could hope to have. Joey was Lance�s best friend and what he really wanted for him was to find happiness. Lance thought he could obtain that with Melissa. She made him laugh and smile. She accepted who he was and things he had done. Lance also knew Melissa would be calm and understanding, but she wasn�t the type of girl who would take his shit. Joey needed that, too. Above all, though, Melissa loved Joey. Maybe they hadn�t known each other for long, but it was written all over her face any time he was near. When he looked at his friend, he though he saw the same novel inscribed there. Lance shook his head as he surveyed his friend�s actions. Joey was laughing at something Melissa had said and his eyes sparkled. Lance could only hope that Joey would wake up before tomorrow night, before he would be forced to say goodbye to his future.