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The One Where All The Bad Stuff Happens (Part II)
by Jennifer Johnson
FADE IN:
INT. CHANDLER'S OFFICE - DAY
Chandler paces the entire length of his office, his body
tingling with energy. The poor subordinate at the other
end of the phone isn't the real target of his anger, just a
scapegoat. He's really mad at himself for leaving Monica
today, but she said, "No, go to work," so he had, and now
he's really regretting it.
CHANDLER
Again, with the WENUS! Yeah, well, I'm looking at my
WENUS right now, and I am not happy!
A beep interrupts their call. Chandler clicks over.
CHANDLER
You're fired!
Chandler puts his finger on the button, but before he
can return to his first discourse--
JOEY (ON PHONE)
Chandler--
There's something in his voice that Chandler doesn't like.
CHANDLER
Joey? Joey, what's wrong?
There is a long moment of silence. Joey's voice quivers.
JOEY (ON PHONE)
It's Ross.
Chandler feels the icy hand of fear grip his heart and
squeeze. He goes cold all over. Chandler sinks slowly
into his chair.
INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM - DAY
Joey runs to everybody the moment they step into his line
of vision. He throws himself at Chandler, hugging him tight.
Chandler hugs him back. When they part, Joey gives
Monica a hug.
Chandler puts his arm around the dazed Monica to talk to
Joey. Joey puts his arm around Phoebe's waist.
CHANDLER
So, what's going on? What's wrong with Ross?
JOEY
I don't know. The neurologist used all these big words...
I got all confused.
Chandler pats Joey's shoulder soothingly.
PHOEBE
How's Rachel taking it?
CHANDLER
Rachel? Who's that?
Joey frowns, once again confused. Rachel is supposed
to be with him. He turns a quick little circle, but Rachel
is nowhere to be seen.
JOEY
Rachel? Rach?
The neurologist picks that moment to join them.
Monica pounces.
MONICA
How is he? What's wrong with him? I'm his sister,
Monica. Monica.
NEUROLOGIST
Your brother is suffering from what's known as a
Coup-Contra Coup, which has caused an intracerebral
hemorrhage.
Joey silently repeats the words, trying to figure them out
for himself.
PHOEBE
Okay. English, please.
NEUROLOGIST
A Coup-Contra Coup is when the force of the impact
causes the brain to bump the opposite side of the
skull. Damage occurs at the site of impact and on the
opposite side of the brain.
Monica covers her mouth in shock.
MONICA
Oh my god.
Chandler holds her tight.
NEUROLOGIST
This has caused a blood clot deep in the middle of his
brain called an intracerebral hemorrhage. Ross is in
surgery right now to relieve the pressure, but irreversible
damage may still have been done to his brain.
There is a long moment of silence. When Monica is
finally able to speak, her voice is quivering.
MONICA
Is he... is he going to die?
The neurologist chooses his words very carefully.
NEUROLOGIST
The first forty-eight hours will be critical.
PHOEBE
In other words, you don't know.
NEUROLOGIST
No. I'm sorry. If you'd excuse me.
After the neurologist leaves, nobody says anything for a
really long time. Finally, Monica tries her best to wipe
away her tears.
MONICA
I should probably call Carol. And--
She shivers.
MONICA
--my mom and dad.
CHANDLER
I'll do it.
JOEY
No, you stay with Monica. I'll do it.
Chandler and Monica give him near-identical smiles of
relief.
CHANDLER
Thanks, Joe.
MONICA
Let me just get you their numbers.
Monica digs into the depths of her purse and pulls out her
address book. She gives it to him. Joey heads off in search
of a pay phone, but Phoebe stops him.
PHOEBE
This way.
Phoebe takes his hand and leads him off in the opposite
direction. Chandler leads Monica to a nearby chair and
gently sits her down. Monica looks up at him, her normally
beautiful eyes glazed.
MONICA
Why?
Chandler's heart nearly breaks. He chokes back a sob and
bends to her level. Chandler holds Monica as tight as he can.
INT. RECOVERY - NIGHT
Ross' shaved head is swollen beneath his bandages and
misshapen where the neurosurgeons had to sew it back
together. His breathing is slow from the anesthesia --or the
coma. But to Rachel, he looks beautiful.
Rachel has been with him since he came out of surgery,
her head on his chest, and his breathing has lulled her to
sleep.
Finally, she is yanked up by the arm by his neurologist.
NEUROLOGIST
You can't be in here.
Rachel never fully emerges from the cloud of sleep. It's as
if her brain is somewhere else, trapped in a haze. She
allows the neurologist to lead her out of recovery.
INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM - NIGHT
A deep pain started flickering in Monica's belly about an hour
ago. At first she ignored it, but the pain just keep getting
worse. Nearby, Phoebe has fallen asleep, using Joey as a
pillow, while Carol and Susan try to comfort Ben.
JUDY
And you just let this happen? What kind of sister are
you? What kind of person are you? I didn't raise you
like this!
Monica tries to interrupt, but her mother won't let her.
JUDY
I'm not finished yet, young lady.
JACK
Listen to your mother, Harmonica.
JUDY
You are a horrible, horrible person. Just horrible.
Chandler can't take it anymore. He leaps up, sheltering
Monica with his body.
CHANDLER
What kind of person are you? This is your daughter,
and her brother is in the hospital! Can't you just
show some compassion for once in your life?
Taken completely off guard, Judy sinks into a chair,
allowing Chandler to tower over her as he yells.
The pain has spread throughout Monica's entire body. She
doubles over, and her fingers touch blood. Monica looks
down to see her dress soaked with blood. She beats at
Chandler, trying to get his attention. He looks quickly at
Monica, not really seeing her.
CHANDLER
Don't stop me now! I'm on a roll!
Chandler whirls on Judy, who watches him like a deer
caught in the headlights.
CHANDLER
And furthermore--
Chandler's brain finally registers what he saw.
CHANDLER
Monica!
Chandler is as terrified as she is. Suddenly, everyone is
there, watching their every move.
PHOEBE
What happened? What's wrong with Monica?
MONICA
Don't let me lose the baby.
The pain shoots through her like electricity, and she
screams. Chandler screams with her. Chandler scoops
her up, and, yells for a doctor. He crosses paths with the
neurologist, who gives Rachel a little push into the waiting
room.
Chandler stops.
NEUROLOGIST
Don't look at me. I'm a neurologist.
CHANDLER
Fine.
Chandler runs out of the waiting room.
Joey and Phoebe are up to follow Chandler, but Joey
recognizes the neurosurgeon and doesn't know whether to
go or stay. Suddenly, he is grabbed.
PHOEBE
Come on!
He is yanked offscreen Joey and Phoebe go after Chandler
and Monica. Ben tugs at Rachel to get her attention.
BEN
Rachel! Rachel! You see Dad? Is he okay?
Rachel's response is jumbled and incoherent. Judy turns
to the neurologist.
JUDY
How is he, Doctor?
NEUROLOGIST
Still no response. I'm sorry.
A sob catches in Carol's throat. Susan pets her soothingly.
Judy collapses into the nearest chair.
The neurosurgeon leaves them alone with their grief.
INT. MONICA'S HOSPITAL ROOM - NIGHT
Phoebe and Joey wait with Jack and Judy in the shadows.
Joey stands behind her, his arms around her waist.
Phoebe's head rests on his chest as she pets his hands.
Chandler kneels at Monica's bedside, her hands in his.
MONICA
Did I lose the baby?
Chandler can't respond or he'll cry. Monica tries to sit up.
MONICA
Chandler. Did I lose the baby?
Chandler gently lays her back down.
CHANDLER
Shh, baby. Don't worry about that now.
MONICA
Please, Chandler. I have to know.
But Chandler doesn't even have to respond. Monica starts
to cry. Chandler holds her tight.
INT. PHOEBE'S ROOM - NIGHT
Phoebe had been more distressed than she let on, even
though it was, you know, Ross. Only Joey could sense just
how upset she actually was. When everyone had reluctantly
left the hospital, Joey wanted to see that she got home safely.
Now, Joey lies on the bed, comforting Phoebe in his arms.
She smiles seductively up at Joey. She kisses him. Joey
doesn't kiss her back.
PHOEBE
What's the matter? Don't you--
She kisses him.
PHOEBE
--don't you want to?
JOEY
Not here. Not like this.
Joey kisses the top of her head. They lie there a moment
in silence until, suddenly and without warning, she shoves
him. Hard. Joey tumbles off the side of the bed.
JOEY
What was that for?
Phoebe has to think a moment.
PHOEBE
For being stupid. Get out!
Joey stares at her a moment, clearly pained. He starts to
leave, then stops. Phoebe folds her hands across her
chest and turns deliberately away.
Joey drops his eyes. He leaves, closing the door behind him.
INT. ROSS' HOSPITAL ROOM - NIGHT
Rachel cuddles with the comatose Ross, her face pressed
against his chest. He feels like marble against her warm
body. Tears streak her face.
RACHEL
Don't die on me, Ross.
FADE OUT
Continued In Part Three