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| Admit it. You're on your computer, tired, hungry, alone, bored and feeling empty and hopeless. Many people feel that way. Not me though, i'm normal. Anyways, you're problem may seem like nothing now, but soon, it could get serious. Just look at this guyl on the right. He's ugly, greasy, and his skin is saggy. His hair is oily and he has let himself go to waste. He looks depressed, holding in his body all the inner demons of a helpless, hapless, and abused child. If you continue down your path, you will become him. No one wants that. Let me help. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Navigation: Pages Home You Need Help So Do I Tell Your Friends!!! Pics Kyle's Rantings Creative Writing Guestbook E-Mail Me E-Mail My Brother E-Mail My Goldfish E-Mail My Plastic Surgeon E-mail My Psychiatrist Email My Pimp |
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| Congratulations You Pathetic Piece of Crap! | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Ah, so you have finally realized you need help. Good for you, you lazy man whore! With my great teachings, I can turn any man into a REAL man, and any woman into a REAL man (I don't discriminate against any sex!)! Just follow these basic tips and you won't be transformed into that ugly behemoth on the top of the page! | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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First off, you know that name you have now? It's probably a girly name. An ugly name. Something like "Erik" or "Kyle". What you need, is a real man's name. A name that will impress anyone easily. A name like: Manny. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Next, you've got to remember the proper stance. To have a true "I kick ass" stance, first place your hands on your hips. Next, curl your lips upward, like you mean it, like you mean it! Then, jut your crotch out as far as it can go! There you go! This stance will intimidate anyone, and make you even more popular with the ladies. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Now that you know the right way to stand, you have to have the right cry. You know, somethin you shout when you walk into a room, and everyone can recognize you by it. Sort of like when my great hero, Superman, goes and flies, he says "Up, up, and away!". You need something that will tell everyone around you that you mean business. So remember, next time you enter a crowded area, cup your hands over your mouth and shout out: "CIRCUMCISION!!!!" | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Last, but definetly not least, you must know how to dress yourself. Remember, that the key colors to wear are as follows: Pink, Salmon, Purple, Violet, and anything with rainbows. They are the height in fashion nowadays. Wear a tight skirt, one that goes past your upper thighs (yes, girls too), and a tight tight blouse. And there is nothing wrong with the occasional giggle. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Congratualtions, I am proud of you. You are well on your way to becoming a well balanced and perfectly sane individual. Now for a couple of quick pointers. Cosntantly say the word "Yogurt", and you may be rewarded. The best places to go with your newfound identity are; All boys high schools, all girls high schools, KKK meetings. Don't worry. Nothing will happen to you. You'll be fine. I promise. = ) | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||