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| Feel free to email me with any feedback at [email protected] This site has had almost 30,000 hits site wide since May of 2002! This page is Leonard approved! |
| 1. Your friends remark about your unique dog-fur seat covers. 2. A friend asks you if you want to go for a Sunday drive and you say you have to check the transport list first. 3. Your engine starts knocking so you pour a bottle of Rescue Remedy in the gas tank. 4. You get stopped for having illegally tinted windows and the officer does not believe those are nose prints. 5. You take your car to the car wash and ask for the flea bath. 6. You take your dog to the groomer but miss the appointment because your dog is still checking out all the strange doggie smells in your car and refuses to get out. 7. You sit down to plan your vacation and you begin dividing the route into legs. 8. You are pulled over for speeding and give the officer your rabies certificate. 9. You schedule your car's preventive maintenance at the Vets. 10. Your boss asks you to make his/her travel arrangements for an upcoming business trip, so you post him/her to all the transport lists. 11. You refer to your favorite Western Bagel shop as the Western Beagle Shop. 12. You open your glove compartment and all you have inside are three dog leashes, a hand full of cat treats, 13 dog biscuits, 1/2 bag of rabbit pellets, two Dog Breed Reference Guides, and a complete list of local Shelters. 13. You find that when other people bring out the kid pics and brag......you whip out the "rescued kids!" and brag! 14. You find that you literally start foaming at the mouth the instant you see an un-neutered dog/cat. 15. You find yourself not only petting your friend's dog or cat......but also doing health and temperament checks. 16. After you have health and temperament checked your friend's pet,you proceed to do a thorough home check! 17. Your "regular" friends refuse to answer the door, phone, or email because of the possibility (make that probability) that you need a foster or forever home for another beastie. 18. You go to call your best friend, and find that you have inadvertently dialed the kennel section of the Animal Shelter! |
| Too Long in Rescue? |
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| Dog-aerobics! |
| You've seen those ads on TV promising amazing results from all sorts of contraptions. Well, there's no need to invest in fancy equipment. If you have (or can borrow) a dog, you have everything you need to get in shape now!!! The following exercises can be done anywhere, anytime. Inner Thighs: Place the dog's favorite toy between thighs. Press tighter than the dog can pull. Do not attempt bare legged - dogs who favor shortcuts to success will just dig the toy out. You could be damaged. Upper Body Strength: Lift the dog - off the couch, off the bed, out of the flower bed. Repeat, repeat, repeat. As the dog ages, this exercise is reversed - onto the couch, onto the bed, into the car and so on. Balance and Coordination, Exercise 1: Remove your puppy from unsuitable tight places. If they're too small for him, they're certainly too small for you. Do it anyway! Balance and Coordination, Exercise 2: Practice not falling when your dog bounds across the full length of the room, sails through the air,and slams both front paws into the back of your knees. Balance and Coordination, Exercise 3: (for use with multiple dogs)Remove all dogs from lap and answer the phone before it stops ringing. Balance and Coordination, Exercise 4: (alternate) For older dogs, attempt to cross a room without tripping over the dog. Get off your couch without crushing any part of a sleeping elderly dog. Upper Arms: Throw the ball. Throw the squeaky toy. Throw the Frisbee. Repeat until nauseous. Upper Arms: (alternate) Tug the rope. Tug the pull toy. Tug the sock. Repeat until your shoulder is dislocated or the dog gives up (we all know which comes first). Hand Coordination: Remove foreign object from dog's locked jaw. This exercise is especially popular with puppy owners. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Remember, this is a timed exercise. Movements must be quick and precise (think concert pianist) to prevent trips to the vet, which only offer the minimal exercise benefit of jaw firming clenches. Calves: After the dog has worn out the rest of your body, hang a circular toy on your ankle and let the dog tug while you tug back. WARNING: This is feasible only for those with strong bones and small dogs. Have you taken your calcium supplement today? Calves: (alternate) Run after dog - pick any reason, there are plenty. Dogs of any size can be used for this exercise. Greyhounds are inadvisable. Neck Muscles: Attempt to out maneuver the canine tongue headed for your ear, mouth, or eyeball. This is a lifelong fitness program. A dog is never too old or too feeble to "French Kiss" you when you least expect it. |