MATERWELLON
I am Steven (Materwellon's servant) I am writing this on behalf of Materwellon. Materwellon is a mysterious beast located in the valleys of the alps. He is the ruler of the melons. Anything melon-related, he can do. But lately he has been quite depressed and I think finding him a girl will help him with that. I don't want to get him therapy because that can be expensive and it can be hard to find a good therapist so I am trying this. Although he is short-tempered and can be quite terrifying at times he is actually quite sweet (melon pun) most of the time. He enjoys long walks at the beach, reading a good book, playing games with the other melons and collecting stamps. As far as physical appearances go, he is 9ft tall, and super muscular. But the melon crown never comes off. He has a pet capuchin monkey that will spy on you which he loves with all his heart. He hates egg yolks, paintbrushes, and microwaves. Materwellon is looking for someone smart and fun. they have to be willing to date a 9ft melon man. But the most important thing is that they have to be able to listen. So if you are interested in him please contact. I must warn you though, when he gets angry he gets really, really angry. There was one time where one of his melon subjects didn't give him a high five and materwellon put him in prison for 90 years, had him serve 12 years of community service and then had him eaten by little children. So never not give him a high five. Yes he does have some anger issues but I'm hoping that him having a girlfriend will help him chill out a little bit and be not so depressed. But sometimes it can be a good thing. his subjects fear him so he can basically get them to do anything. He doesn't really have any magic abilities other than being 9ft tall. One day he just put a melon on his head and all the melons started worshiping him which is pretty neat. but other than being 9ft tall, having anger issues, and being in control of the melons he is a pretty normal guy. Also, he doesn't actually need the glasses, he just thinks they are cool.