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Notice: All jokes posted here has no intention to criticize or to humiliate any people. They are neatly shared for some healthy laugh. That's all.
- A sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs
start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him
"kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai"
Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "
- Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks
and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody
stops him and asks "kyon bhai ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?"
Sardarji replies "Shaala train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"
- Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Sardarji says "Yes". "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool. This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."
- Santa : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing,
one is green and one is blue with red spots!
Banta : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.
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A surd goes to a barber shop wearing walkman headphones. He tells
the hairdresser: "Cut my hair please, but do not remove the headphones.
"The hairdresser does his job but needs to get under the headphones
to finish his work. He removes the headphones thinking that the surd
will never even notice. The surd falls to the floor, chokes, turns
blue and dies. The hairdresser picks up the headphones to see what
he was listening to and hears: "Breath In, Breath Out, Breath In,
Breath Out....."
- Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush was over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Arre Banta Singh ! What the heck's goin' on? Why are you so scared ?
I was enjoying my ride down there ?
Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.
- Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to SARDARs," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognized me," he thought. he went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before he again approached the salesman.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
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Jasmeet Kaur watched her husband Santa Singh searching high and low, all over the living room.
She asked him: 'What are you so frantically searching?'
Santa: 'Hidden cameras!'
Jasmeet: 'And what makes you think there are hidden cameras here?'
Santa: 'Or else, every few minutes, how is that guy on television saying ...'You are watching the Star World channel'? 'How can he know what I am watching?'
- Banta Singh: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Banta Singh: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!! - Santa Singh: Will this bus take me to Jalandar?
Driver: Which part?
Santa Singh: All of me, of course
- One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in America. A lady came and asked him, 'Are you relaxing'
Sardar answered ' No I am Banta Singh!'
Another guy came and asked the same Question. Sardar answered ' No No Me Banta Singh!'
Third one came and asked the same question Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While walking he saw another Sardar enjoying the Beach He went and asked him ' Are you Relaxing Singh?'
The other Sardar was much educated and answered 'Yes I am relaxing.' The Sardar slapped him on his face and said 'Salay, Sab tere ko wahah dhoond rahe hai aur tu yahaan aaram kar raha hai? '
- Santa Singh: My doctor told me to drink carrot juice after a hot bath to cure my cold.
Banta Singh: Does it work?
Santa Singh: I don't know... I can never finish drinking the hot bath.
- There was an officer of the Royal Navy named Captain Santa who showed no fear when facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the Seven Seas, his lookout spotted a pirate ship approaching, and the crew became frantic. Captain Santa bellowed, 'Bring me my red shirt!'
The first mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, and while wearing the brightly colored frock, the Captain led his crew into battle and defeated the mighty pirates.
That evening, all the men sat around on deck recounting the triumph of earlier. One of them asked the Captain, 'Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before battle?'
The Captain replied, 'If I were to be wounded in the attack, the shirt would not show my blood. Thus, you men would continue to fight, unafraid.'
All of the men sat and marveled at the courage of such a manly man's man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching. The crew stared in worshipful silence at the Captain and waited for his usual orders.
Captain Santa gazed with steely eyes upon the vast armada arrayed against his ship, and without fear, turned and calmly shouted, 'Get me my brown pants.'
- A sardar is traveling via train. On his way, he feels the urge
to go to the bathroom. So he goes and opens the bathroom door, which
happens to have a mirror in the front. The sardar thinks there is
another sardar sardar in there, quickly shuts the door and returns
To his seat. 5 minutes later he goes again, only to find the same
sardar. An hour passes away, he's made 20 trips to the bathroom,
only to find that the same person is still there. So he finally gets
ticked off, goes to the last compartment and tells the TC (Ticket
Checker) what's been going on. The TC, which also happens to be a
sardar, feels bad for and promises to throw the bum out. The TC
walks down to the compartment with the troubled bathroom to get the
resident sardar out. Few minutes later the TC comes back and tell
the sardar "I'm sorry, I can't do anything. The guy in there is a
staff member."
- Two sardarji stayed in the same building. One on the first
floor and the other one on the eight floor. Both were great enemies.
One day the Sardarji on the eight floor thought to be fool the one
on the first floor. He invited him for dinner. When the Sardarji
reached the eight floor, he found his door locked and a board at his
door "Kaisa bewkoof banaya". Sardarji felt embarrassed and to outplay
him, he wrote down: "Main to yaha ayi hi nahi tha"
- Santa & Banta Singh were walking across campus when Santa asked,
"Where did you get such a great bike?"
Banta replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and told me to take what I wanted. I took the bike".
Santa nodded approvingly, Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
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