| Saxophone Jokes |
| How many alto sax players does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to change the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would have done it. What's the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? 1. Lawnmowers sound better in small ensembles. 2. The neighbors are upset if you borrow a lawnmower and don't return it. 3. The grip. 4. One cuts grass and the other smokes it. What's the difference between a baritone sax and a chainsaw? The exhaust. The soprano, not being smart enough to use birth control, says to her saxophonist lover, "Honey, I think you better pull out now." He replies, "Why? Am I sharp?" Small wonder we have so much trouble with air pollution in the world when so much of it has passed through saxophones. What do a saxophone and a baseball have in common? People cheer when you hit them with a bat. What did the band player say to the saxophone player? Can you play solo? So low we can't hear you? A saxophone player dies and, as heaven seems quite boring to him, he finally gets permission to visit hell for an hour. As he opens the door to the music hall down there, he sees the devil conducting an All Star big band with a free chair right between Parker and Coltrane. Immediately, he goes back and tells God, "This is it, I'm going to switch for good!" A little later, he sits playing next to his idols, but the whole band seems to vamp on the last short chorus for hours. Eventually he gets up and asks the devil, "Excuse me Sir, when are we going to play the coda?" In response, the devil just grins... A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definately not happy. "Where the hell have you been all night?" she demands. "At this fantastic new bar," he says. "The Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden. It's got huge golden doors, a golden floor, the works- hell, even the urinal's gold!" The wife still doesn't believe his story, and the next day, she checks the phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon. She calls up the place to check her husband's story. "Is this the Golden Saloon?" she asks when the bartender answers the phone. "Yes it is," the bartender answers. "Do you have huge golden doors?" "Suer do." "Do you have huge golden floors?" "Most certainly do." "What about golden urinals?" There's a long pause. Then the woman hears the bartender shouting, "Hey Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy who pissed in your saxophone last night!" |
 |
 |
