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| Cello Jokes |
| How do you get a cellist to play fortissimo? Write "pp, espressivo." How do you make a cello sound beautiful? Sell it and buy a violin. What is the difference between a cello and a coffin? The coffin has the corpse on the inside. Why are orchestra intermissions limited to only 20 minutes? So you don't have to retrain the cellists. Sir Thomas Beecham was rehearsing a cello concerto with a famous female cellist. She was doing rather poorly; so much so that it caused sir thomas to remark, "Madam, what you have between your legs has given pleasure to millions, and yet you sit there scratching at it!" What do playing the cello in a kilt and driving without hubcaps have in common? They both leave your nuts exposed. The cello is a very sexy instrument. Why? You gotta spread your legs to fit that big wooden thing, you get to do a lot of fingering and stroking, and as a bonus, vibrations are so much of a pleasure as well. |
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