Men Jokes
Ladies,
here's your chance to get back at the Men. These jokes
are for you.
-What
do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
-What
is the thinnest book in the world?
"What Men Know About Women"
-How
many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One ... men will screw anything.
-How
does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.
-What's
the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature.
-How
do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
-What
do men and beer bottles have in common?
They are both empty from the neck up.
-How
can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares?
-How
many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know .... it's never happened.
-How
are men and parking spots alike?
The good ones are always taken and the ones left are
handicapped.
-What
is a man's idea of helping with the housework?
Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
-What's
the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.
-What's
the difference between a man and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker, and the other
is a fish.
-What
did God say after creating man?
I can do better.
-What
do you have when you have two balls in your hands?
A man's undivided attention.
-What
are the two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1. No mind.
2. No business.
-Did
you hear about the banker who's a great lover?
He knows first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.
-Why
is it so hard for women to find men who are sensitive,
caring, and good looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
-Did
you hear about the man who won a gold medal at the
Olympics?
Yeah, he had it bronzed.
-How
many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three! One to hold the pan and two others to show
off and shake the stove.
-How
do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy but wearable"
-Husband:
"Want a quickie?"
Wife: "As opposed to what?"
-Husband:
"I don't know why you wear a bra, you've go nothing
to put in it."
Wife: "You wear briefs, don't you?"
