Dreams
march 2000
and now they've overcome me... my struggle to free myself from that which cannot be seen, only felt, has been lost... I can feel my heart pounding. I'm sweating. I'm not sure if I can see for there is only the darkness... and the sense of being watched... played with... I know they're here with me... I can feel them whatever they be... It seems I've been running my entire life... I cannot remember anything but the chase... the endless chase... tiring me... hunting me... anticipating my every move... mocking me... I can hear them laugh sometimes... that hellish laugh... coursing through me... as I run... my legs tiring... tripping over objects I cannot see... flashes of light giving hope and then the darkness again... only the fear drives me... and now I am theirs. I am so scared. I can feel their breath now... it's suffocating me...
I sit up abruptly... relieved at first, but still terrified. She looks at me, "again" she says... I uncling myself from the sweat drenched sheets from within I slept... or at least most call it sleep or rest or whatever. Not for me... for me it is hell... sometimes they catch me and sometimes it is only the chase, but it is always the same feeling when I awake. I fear every door I open, every corner I turn, every road not familiar and every day gets worse. I pour a glass of bourbon and finish it quickly... looking over my shoulder to see if they are watching me knowing I'm trying to pass out so I don't dream... a shadow leaves the room, which is nothing new... but this time was different. This time there was a trail of blood... not a lot but still a trail. I trace it back to my bedroom. Candles are lit... I can hear nothing... my wife is not here... only the stains on the sheets. I look in the mirror across from the bed and gaze in horror at my tattered clothes and gashes on my face, chest and arms... I leave this room of awful sights to enter what I expect to be a hallway... but I'm not in my home now... only the darkness again... and the laughing...