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| 5-09-01 - 11:29 AM- Computer Lab-School-Should be studying for Alg. II test. Here are some pretty good rules to live by that some random person sent me. Whatever. I'm in favor of just about them all. Thought I'd share: ONE Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. TWO Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other. THREE Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want. FOUR When you say, "I love you", mean it. FIVE When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye. SIX Be engaged at least six months before you get married. SEVEN Believe in love at first sight. EIGHT Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much. NINE Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it'sthe only way to live life completely. TEN In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling. ELEVEN Don't judge people by their relatives. TWELVE Talk slowly but think quickly. THIRTEEN When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?" FOURTEEN Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk. FIFTEEN Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze. SIXTEEN When you lose, don't lose the lesson. SEVENTEEN Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions. EIGHTEEN Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship. NINETEEN When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. TWENTY Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice. TWENTY-ONE Spend some time alone. So I didn't get to go see Soul Decision last night, however, The Princess was EVER so kind to bring me back autographs, which I of course waved in the faces of my friends that did get to go and who are now ever so jealous! LOL! I.E YOU Whit! LOL! Still so bumbed out about Sean. I hate break ups. Or whatever the hell this is. Brush off might be a better name for it. Anyway...it always sucks. 'Cause then I'll be sitting in class or doing something so totally boring and not really thinking about anything, when some thought will just pop into my head. Like this morning. I'm sitting there in English, trying to take notes and stay awake, when this memory of Sean pops into my mind. It was the night I stayed with him after we partied at Phi Psi. We were walking back to the dorms and I was drunk, like sloppy drunk, and was just going on about the most random things. Everything was amusing me and I just couldn't stop laughing and Sean was there laughing right with me as we stumbled back to the dorms. We got to that walking bridge by Mem. gym and we were standing at the top of the stairs. I started insisting that I could make it down just fine(after I had just about busted my ass on the last flight), and Sean just stood there looking at me, trying Very hard not to crack up, and said, "Am I going to have to punch you or are you going to let me carry you?" I just stood there and glared at him and said, "Like hell you're going to!" And then just about fell down. He just laughed, caught me and said,"God, you're so beautiful. Even when you're piss drunk and angry!" And then he kissed me. Just like he always did. "so the world won't stop spinning/ And the stars fall from up-on-high/ and explode at our feet in a rainbow of mulitcolored lights." God. It's memories like those that are fucking breaking my heart. I'm trying to let go and forget, but it's a little hard when those memories are the one's you want to remember and not forget. |
| 5-09-01-4:32 PM- Sitting at home in major shock He's here. He's still in town. He hasn't left after all! OMG! Now I don't know what to do! For the past 36hrs I've been convinced that it's over, finished, nada. But it's apparently not. But now I don't know what to do again! AHHH!!! His away message reads: Studying for this fuckin' CS exam So I don't think I should call him right now, but what if he's gone later? I don't really wanna leave a message b/c he probably won't get it or won't answer it, so what am I going to fucking do? OMG. I hate my life! This fucking sucks! Jen's right. Misa's right. Alfie's right. Keri's right. I just need to say fuck you and get over him. But I can't! Maybe it was a sign that I've been thinking of him all day. I was driving home and I saw this sub-division and it made me think of this story he told me about how when he was little he'd run from his front door out to this tree, and then back in bare assed just b/c he felt like it! LOL! I don't know why I shared that exactly, but it's been amusing me all day. Anyway...I need help. I don't know if I should call now and just do it or if I should wait and hope he's still around, or if I should be dumb and stay home and wait for him. While the last sounds V. tempting I know that's not going to happen. I'm pitiful enough as it is already. No possible need to make this worse than it already is. I guess that means It's call him now. At least that way if he can't talk I can get him to call back this time or I can call him back or something. I don't know. It sounds like the best plan to me though! Oh god. Here we go again. Back to the butterflies! Jesus H. Christ! I think I need to go see a shrink.... Ok...well I'm going to leave this with a sex goddess pic to get me in the right frame of mind! You go Bay! You are the sex goddess of the world and this proves it! NO WAY can any man resist you now! :D |
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