�Ms. Carter?�
I looked up; my eyes were red and puffy from crying. �Yes?� I asked as I stood up.
�He�s awake, you can go in and see him now,� The doctor, who had introduced herself before as Dr. Malone, said.
�Thank you,� I said as I got up. I turned to the guys. �I�ll tell you everything� I promise,� I said, I hugged all of them and walked slowly, away following the doctor. We stopped in front of his door. I sighed, and touched the handle, I dropped my hand.
�Are you going to go in?� Dr. Malone asked impatiently.
�Ya� I just need one sec� to compose myself; he�d hate it if I came in crying,� I said the last part quietly.
She nodded her head. �Alright�if you need anything just call me,� She handed me a booklet. She walked away.
I looked down at the booklet. The title read: �Depression, and how to deal with it�.
I sighed again and wiped away a few stray tears with a tissue. I put my hand on the door knob, and turned it. I opened the door slowly. I opened the door, to see a pale Nick Carter, looking up at me.
�Hey,� I said quietly.
�Hey,� He said even quieter. He gave me a small smile.
I smiled slightly at him. Tears starting to swell up in my eyes again, I wiped them away, as I looked down.
�You can sit down� I�m not going to bite,� He said quietly, motioning to a chair beside the bed, he chuckled at his own joke.
And I smiled. I sat down beside him and held his hand. I placed the booklet down on his bed.
He read the title and looked at me, with a weird smile. �So that�s what is it�?� He said half talking in question.
I nodded my head. I looked at him for a long while. �Why Nick?� I asked.
�What do you mean?� He asked.
I took his hand and turned it around to see his wrists. I looked down and gasped. His wrists were swollen, and red, his flesh had been ripped into pretty bad.
He looked down, at his wrists, and then looked at me. �Oh,� he said.
�Ya�Nick �Oh�� How could you do this to me? What if you had gone too far? What if you had killed yourself? Huh Nick?� I asked. Tears were running freely down my cheeks now. I didn�t care� I didn�t care if I made him upset by crying� I didn�t care.
�Stop with the �what ifs�,� He said. He pulled his hand away from mine. �I�m fine; you can�t look back on things! You told me that!� He said.
He was starting to get angry now. His arms were trembling.
�Then, why Nick? Why did you do it?� I asked.
�You�you wouldn�t understand,� He said looking averting my gaze.
�Try me,� I said hastily.
He looked at me. �I thought you�d be the only one who�d lay off on me� but I was wrong.�
I laughed sourly. �Nick, how could I lay off? I�m probably going to give you the most crap about this Nick! If you had gone too far�I� I would have lost you� and Nick I don�t even want to think about losing you� you�re like my brother�Nick if something happened to you� I wouldn�t know what to do� I wouldn�t want to live,� I said as I looked at him, a glimmer of sadness flashed across my eyes. I licked my dry lips.
He looked at me. �If you really cared for me you�d leave me alone,� he said hastily.
I shook my head. �No, Nick I care about you that�s why I�m NOT going to leave you alone.�
�Just leave me alone,� He said. As he lay down and closed his eyes, signalling that this conversation was at an end.
�I�m not� and I mean NOT giving up on you Nick� you never gave up on me, and I�m NEVER EVER going to even think about giving up on you,� I said standing my ground.
He said nothing.
I kissed him on the cheek. �Night, Nicky,� I said. I waited but got no reaction from him. I sighed heavily, and walked out of the room. That�s when the tears started to flow briskly down my face. I put the booklet in my pocket and walked back to the guys.
�Goodnight, Trin,� Nick whispered as he heard her close the door, tears flowing freely down his cheeks.
Prologue ~ Chapter Two