Jien-Yu Wan:
My life in Crime
(or the Hong Kong Triads vs. the African Advance Fee Fraudsters)
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Ever receive a strange email requesting "URGENT BUSINESS ASSISTANCE"? Or maybe you've been sent dozens? Have you ever reportingly won the lottery in Holland, even though you don't remember buying a ticket? Or have you received mail from a dead African dictator's unfortunate next-of-kin, who has found god, and now runs an orphanage, the funding of which requires your assistance in releasing their late uncle's millions of ill-gotten dollars from an offshore bank account? Have you ever been tempted to write back to them? After all, they usually offer several million US$ for your assistance, and if they were genuine, well, you'd be kicking yourself for the rest of your life if you missed this great opportunity.
-if you are nodding your head in agreement at that last statement: REALITY CHECK- Jien-Yu Wan's Hall of Shame. A list of 1200 email addresses belonging to 419 scammers (with a few run-of-the-mill spammers). Do whatever you like with them.
Here are a few of my correspondences.
Susan Shabangu is a staunchly uncorruptable deputy minister in the South African government. She resists all my attempts at gaining insider knowledge of the new abalone poaching laws in South Africa. This is of vital importance to anyone with connections to the South African triads, like my Father-in-law. "...my father-in-law just start project to mate duck with pig, make flying pig that taste like duck"
Pedro Guei, a charmingly naive kid. (Referred to me from Leo Punch, who put in much effort building up trust with this mugu). I had to smuggle a half-ton of ecstasy, risking jail, plus negotiate with a body-organ trafficking Thai loan-shark, just to raise money to help this guy. Do you think he was grateful? Naaah! "...sorry to hear about your father Bob Guei being killed by Rebels. Bikie gangs here also are violent"
Robert Rabbit, A little bird told me that poor old Robert can't turn his phone on any more because of the abusive calls he gets nowadays. Damn. Well, he DID hack into 100 West-African's email accounts and mess with their phone lines and steal their pen friends and take their phone calls and... well, is he really that smart? Errrm... well... he *might* have had a little help... From who? From Dr. Wayne Kerr of course, the rudest bastard in London! "...I HAVE NO TIME TO WASTE WITH SOME JOKER WHO HAPPENS TO HAVE A COMPUTER TERMINAL. SEND ME THE REAL DOCUMENTS... "
Scooby Doo vs. Dr. Fred Scooby Doo does business with this Dr. Fred guy, who needs to recover treasure form a haunted security vault! Scarey stuff! "...I must point out - my name is "Scooby" not "Scoopy". Scoopy Doo is what Shaggy has to do sometimes when we go to the park... "
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