| The scammers are in red......................My
responses are in blue and my 'secretary's notes
are in green. |
'BAD COP' Wayne
...sent out to 200 scammers. |
Subject: YOUR EMAIL TO MY SECRETARY.
GREETINGS
YOU SHOULD SEND ME THIS 'PROPOSAL' OF YOURS WITH
SOME SUPPORTING EVIDENCE, FOR GODS SAKE. I NEED SCANS OF ORIGINAL OFFICIAL
DOCUMENTS AS SUPPORTING EVIDENCE FOR EVERYTHING YOU ARE CLAIMING. MAYBE
THEN I'LL GIVE YOU MY PHONE NUMBER, BUT UNTIL THEN I DON'T WANT TO WASTE
MY TIME ON THE PHONE QUITE FRANKLY. GOD KNOWS HOW SOMEONE AS UNORGANISED
AS YOU CAN EVEN WORK A COMPUTER.
PERSONALLY I HAVE NEVER HEARD SUCH A HALF-BAKED
BUSINESS PROPOSAL IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. YOU MUST THINK THAT I AM STARK-RAVING
MAD TO ACCEPT THIS SORT OF PROPOSAL AT FACE VALUE WHEN I AM RUNNING A MULTI-MILLION
DOLLAR PROJECT FOR THE COMPANY. I HAVE NO TIME TO WASTE WITH SOME JOKER
WHO HAPPENS TO HAVE A COMPUTER TERMINAL. SEND ME THE REAL DOCUMENTS.
REPLY TO MY SECRETARY, JUNE BATCH (XXX@XXXX)
DR. WAYNE L. KERR |
| 'GOOD COP' June |
Subject: Dr. Kerr's phone number
Hello dear,
I am June, Dr. Kerr's secretary. I've been told
not to give you his phone number until you send some material that is a
little more convincing. I do apologise sincerely for his rough manner,
which I'm sure you have noticed. He's a very busy man I'm afraid. Never
mind, be assured that no-one else has been informed on this matter.
Sincerely,
June Batch |
| Out of the ~90 respondants, this mugu wins the 'most whining response' award! . |
From: "FELIX BEDIE" <[email protected]>
Subject: OK
TO. June Batch
THANKS FOR THE INFOR. I WRITE TWO MAILS
TO YOU AND DR K
YESTERDAY.
IAM TRAUMATISED BY THE TONE AND CARELESS
USE OF ADJECTIVE
HENCE I MAKE IT CLEAR IN ONE OF MY MAIL YESTERDAY
MY
INTENTION TO BACK OUT OF THE BUSINESS WITH HIM
HENCE HIS
LANGUAGE DOES NOT GUARRANTTE MY GETTING MY SHARE.
HIS WORDS
STICKS NAIL IN MY HEART AND IAM NOT IN
THE PRACTISE OF
CONTACTING POEPLE FOR BUSINESS IF NOT FOR THE
DEATH OF THE
MINISTER WHO FRONTS MY FOR BUSINESS.IF I SHOULD
CONTINUE I
NEED ASSURANCE AND OFCOURSE BETTER UNDERSTANDING
I WISH YOU AND DR WELL
BYE FOR NOW |
| Wayne wants pix of your dumb-ass self please. |
Subject: I DONT THINK YOU READ MY LAST EMAIL!
HELLO ONCE MORE.
DID YOU EVEN READ MY LAST EMAIL? IF YOU DON'T
PAY ATTENTION TO THE CONTENT OF THIS MAIL, YOU WILL NOT HEAR FROM ME AGAIN.
YOU ARE APPROACHING ME TO BROACH A BUSINESS DEAL
WHICH YOU NEED MY HELP IN, YOU'LL NEED TO IMPRESS ME THAT YOU ARE GENUINE.
SO FAR YOU'VE ONLY IMPRESSED WITH YOUR AMATEURISH MANNER, IN DEMANDING
MY TIME WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY IGNORING EVERYTHING I ASK. I DON'T KNOW HOW
THESE DEALS ARE CONDUCTED IN YOUR COUNTRY, BUT THIS IS NOT HOW MY COMPANY
DOES BUSINESS! WE CERTAINLY DON'T ALLOCATE MONEY TO PHONE ANONYMOUS JOKERS
INTERNATIONALLY FOR PIE-IN-THE-SKY PROJECTS, IF WE DID WE WOULD BE FILING
FOR CHAPTER 11 PROTECTION VERY SOON.
I REPEAT: IT IS UP TO *YOU* TO DEMONSTRATE TO
*ME* THE LEGITIMACY OF THIS TRANSACTION.
MORE IMPORTANTLY, I NEED TO KNOW WHO YOU REALLY
ARE. FOR ALL I KNOW YOU ARE JUST SOME KID MESSING AROUND AND WASTING MY
TIME AS A JOKE.
SO READ THIS VERY CAREFULLY, I WILL NOT TOLERATE
ANY VARIATION FROM THESE INSTRUCTIONS:
FIRSTLY, SEND ME SCANS OF WHATEVER DOCUMENTS YOU
CAN FIND TO SUPPORT YOUR CLAIM
SECONDLY, I NEED A PHOTO OF THE PERSON I AM TO
DEAL WITH, AND I NEED TO KNOW IT ISN'T SOME RANDOM PERSON WHOSE PICTURE
YOU'VE SCANNED. THEREFORE, I NEED YOU TO TAKE A PICTURE OF YOURSELF MAKING
A HAND SIGNAL THAT SPECIFICALLY RELATES TO MY MIDDLE NAME, LEONARD.
MY INSTRUCTIONS TO YOU ARE AS FOLLOWS:
1) MAKE A FIST WITH YOUR RIGHT HAND.
2) EXTEND YOUR THUMB AND FIRST FINGER TO MAKE
AN 'L' SHAPE. THIS WILL INDICATE TO ME THAT YOU ARE TAKING THE PICTURE
SPECIFICALLY FOR ME AT MY REQUEST, SINCE MY MIDDLE INITIAL IS 'L'.
3) PLACE THIS HAND ON YOUR HEAD, WITH YOUR THUMB
HORIZONTAL AND PRESSED AGAINST YOUR FOREHEAD. MAKE SURE YOUR FACE IS STILL
VISIBLE.
4) TAKE A PICTURE OF YOURSELF.
5) SCAN THIS PICTURE AND EMAIL IT TO ME.
I WILL NOT INSTRUCT MY SECRETARY TO GIVE YOU MY
PHONE NUMBER UNTIL I RECEIVE YOUR PHOTO OF YOU MAKING THIS SPECIFIC HAND
SIGNAL ON YOUR HEAD. YOU HAVE 4 DAYS. IF I HAVEN'T RECEIVED THE PICTURE
AFTER 4 DAYS, I WILL ASK JUNE TO DELETE ALL OUR CORRESPONDENCE AND SHE
WILL ALSO BLOCK YOUR FUTURE EMAILS TO US.
BE AWARE I AM STILL COPYING THIS MESSAGE TO JUNE
ALTHOUGH AS YOU CAN SEE HER ADDRESS RECENTLY CHANGED.
SINCERELY,
DR. WAYNE L. KERR |
| Ah, June, conciliatory as ever. |
Hello again dear,
Once again I feel the need to apologize for Dr.
Kerr's bad temper. I assure you that if you can convince him that you are
genuine, he will probably chose to help you. He is really a very generous
man if you can gain his trust. So please send the photo of yourself exactly
as he asked, so that he will know it is a photo of you and not of anyone
else.
I will be happy to pass on his phone number and
other details promptly once you send the picture.
With thanks
June Batch |
|
Thats your LEFT hand you LOSER!
|
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LOSER!
|
|
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FUNKY LOSER!
|
|
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DANCING LOSER!
|
|
OK 'Gilbert', if you're reading this website: I sincerely apologise for what is written below.
BITE ME YOU DUMB FUCKING MUGU!
|
Subject: YOU HAVE TO APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR RUDE MANNER
To: 'Wayne Kerr'
CC: 'june batch'
MR.WAYNE/MY SISTER JUNE,
THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL, HOW ARE YOU TODAY I HOPE ALL IS
WELL WITH YOU AND SISTER JUNE IF SO GLORY BE TO GOD IN
HEAVEN.
I WANT TO INFORM YOU THAT I AM A MAN NOT A WOMAN, YOU
KNOW THAT AS A PROFESSIONAL BANKER IN THAT MATTER AND
I DON’T THINK YOU CONSIDER ALL THIS THINGS BEFORE
COMMANDING ME TO TAKE A PICTURE WITH THE SIGN OF L,
THAT FUNNY AND I MEAN FUNNY ,IF I HAVEN’T CONTACTED
YOU TO ENJOY WITH ME IN THIS BUSINESS YOU WOULD NOT
HAVE TELLING ME SUCH A THING. LET ME MAKE IT CLEAR TO
YOU THAT I AM THE ONE WHO WILL DEMAND ALL THIS THINGS
FROM YOU BECAUSE THIS MY HUG AMOUNT OF MONEY IS
COMING TO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT IN LONDON AND THAT WAS WHY
I WANT YOU TO SIGN THAT UNDERTAKING SHOWING YOUR REAL
SELF AND AT SAME TIME PROMISING ME THAT THIS MONEY
WILL BE SAFE IN YOUR CARE.
MY COLLEAGUES ARE NOT HAPPY WITH YOUR RUDE MANNER AS
MATURED MAN YOU HAVE TO ADDRESS YOUR FOLLOW MAN WITH
RESPECT.
I HAVE TOLD YOU THIS BEFORE THAT EVERY NECESSARY
DOCUMENTS HAS BEEN IN PLACE AND IF YOU CAN SIGN THAT
UNDERTAKEN FOR ME AND MY COLLEAGUES WE WILL START
PROCESSING THIS BUSINESS WHICH I HAVE ASSURED YOU THAT
IT’S 100% RISK FREE. WITH TIME I WILL SEND YOU MY
INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT, MY WORKING ID CARD AND GROUP
PICTURE WITH MY COLLEAGUES.
YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO INSTRUCT ME TO TAKE PICTURE WITH
THE SIGN OF L BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU BELONG,
BY THE WAY WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY TELLING
ME TO TAKE PICTURE WITH THAT KIND OF A SIGN. I HUMBLY
ADVICE YOU FOR NEXT TIME IF YOU ARE DOING BUSINESS
WITH SOMEONE NEVER TELL HIM SUCH A THING BECAUSE IT’S
LOOK LIKE YOU HAVE SOME THING IN MIND WITH SUCH
PHOTOS.
IF YOU ARE WILLING TO WORK WITH ME KINDLY SIGN THE
GUARANTEE LETTER AND I WILL FORWARD TO YOU THE TEXT OF
APPLICATION FOR CLAIM FOR YOU TO FILL AND FORWARD TO
THE BANK. IF YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED LET ME KNOW
BECAUSE ONE OF MY COLLEAGUES WILL BE TRAVELLING TO
SWITZERLAND BY NEXT MONTH AND HE CAN MAKE A CONTACT
OVER THERE.
YOU KNOW THAT 10.2 MILLION DOLLARS IS NOT A LITTLE
AMOUNT AND THAT IS WHAT I WANT TO ENTRUST IN YOUR CARE
AND AFTER THE COMPLETION OF THIS TRANSACTION I AND MY
COLLEAGUES WILL COME OVER IN LONDON TO MEET WITH YOU.
WHY ARE YOU IN SUCH A HURRY? DO YOU HAVE ANY SECRET
MOTIVE OVER THIS MONEY LET US KNOW IN TIME BEFORE IT
WILL BE TO LATE.
I REPEAT, IF YOU ARE WILL YOU CAN CALL ME
ON:+228-906-3368 FOR QUICK RESPONSE, AS YOU HAVE
GIVING ME A LOT OF CONDITION TO CALL YOU AND I WILL
APPRECIATE YOU CALL ME BECAUSE I AM ALWAYS READY AS
LONG AS THIS TRANSACTION IS CONCERN. I AM THE MASTER
PLANER AND EXECUTIONER OF THIS DEAL, BE A MAN LET MAKE
MONEY.
N.B, WE DECIDED NOT TO CONTACT WITH YOU AGAIN BECAUSE
OF YOUR HEALTH I HAVE TO PLEAD TO MY COLLEAGUES AND AS
CHRISTIAN’S WE WANT TO CHANGE THE STORY OF YOUR LIFE
BUT STOP BEEN RUDE TO PEOPLE YOU NEVER MEET BEFORE.
I AM LOOKING FORWARD FOR YOUR APOLOGY.
MY BEST REGARDS,
MR. GILBERT SMITH.
. |
So Wayne could die if he gets angry. Don't piss him off!
And please send us ALL YOUR BIG-ASS DOCUMENTS all over again from your slow cyber-cafe connection, just for fun. |
Good day to you
It seems that the staff managing our old email
accounts have managed to crash both mine and Waynes's email accounts
along with hundreds of others. Its quite chaotic here right now. Both Dr
Kerr and I have resorted to taking out Yahoo email accounts.
NOTE THIS ADDRESS FOR FUTURE CONTACT, AS WE DON'T
KNOW WHEN WE WILL GET OUR OLD ACCOUNTS BACK.
IN ADDITION, RE-SEND ANY PHOTOS, DOCUMENTS, PHONE
NUMBERS, AND IMPORTANT DETAILS, WHICH YOU HAVE SENT TO OUR OLD ACCOUNTS.
My email, which Dr Kerr normally use as a back-up, was killed alongside
his. Luckily I wrote down your email address on a post-it note. We have
absolutely no information on this deal of yours anymore, it's all gone.
Wayne is so angry right now that he can't even
speak. His face is red and there are visible veins in his head. Please
reply just to me for the time being, because if Wayne loses his temper
at this point it could bring on another heart attack.
Thank you and apologies once again,
June Batch |
| Thank you for worrying about Wayne's health you big sweetie-poo! |
Dear June Batch,
I am truly sorry about your email accounts just
crashed. This is a big loss as along with this must
have gone years of stored information. Just take it
easy and you will find how easy it is to cope when
faced with such circumstances.
I called to speak with Wayne but he wasn't there
to pick my call so I dropped him a message. You must
then be wondering why then I am sending you a message
and not him.
The reason for this is that I will not in any way
want to upset him knowing his temper which may affect
his health condition if infuriated.
I am infuriated and feel greatly insulted by
Wayne's insistence that I not only send a photograph,
but pose like a monkey in the photograph. This I find
highly insulting.
There is nobody that is a made man or woman from
heaven or who on his own made himself. We all depend
on each other to grow and succeed in life. This is why
I am also depending on Wayne to actualize this deal
following legal procedures. I do not need to be so
humiliated.
It is a very simple matter. If he is not
interested, he should politely say so and i will pray
to get another person who is capable and honest to
assist me in this endeavor. If he is not so arrogant
or wants to make a fool out of me, or he is as clever
and thoughtful as I want to beleive he is, while
insisting on a photograph, he should have asked for my
international passport or if he desperately needs my
current photograph, then I could pose with today's
edition of the Times or any British magazine in
front of me.
Now I do not feel he is really interested in this
deal but to make monkery out of me and a project I am
relying on to start a new life. I wanted to tell him
how I feel inside but am happier telling you as I
would not want to upset him.
If it be possible, you will hear from me in no
distant future. I thought I had an experienced man to
work with on this and most importantly, assist me in
investing the money in your bouryant economy. Somebody
who could assist in financing the project to
fruition.
Please take good care of Wayne. You are my friend
and I will keep in touch.
Best regards,
Bayo Shokunbi.
N.B. My phone number through which I can be
reached any time is +234 803 474 8629
|
| Time for some phone action. |
Subject: My contact details
Good-day to you.
I must re-iterate that I will not trust in your
identity until I receive a picture of you making the specific hand-signal
that I requested. My middle initial is "L". So I request a picture of you
forming an "L" with your right hand, on your forehead.
Despite the fact I do not fully trust you, and
WILL NEVER TRUST YOUR IDENTITY UNTIL I VIEW THIS PHOTO, I am willing to
talk about the details on the phone if you call me.
So if you must phone me, this is my number:
+44 X XXXXXXXXX
I'll give you my fax and the address of the London
divisional offices where I work ONLY if you send the picture as above.
I will also send my own and June's pictures from our archives at work,
to be fair. (Fair that is, even though you should know well who I am.)
BE WARNED, I WON'T ANSWER THE PHONE IF ANYONE
OTHER THAN JUNE IS IN MY OFFICE. I would be the laughing stock of the company
if anyone else knew I was negotiating with you. If you really can make
me rich, they will stop laughing however.
Do not negotiate with anyone else on this matter.
We are the ones who are best able to help you, PROVIDED we establish some
semblance of trust.
On medical advice, I must be polite and not get
angry anymore, or my heart could give out. So that is why I say, "THANK
YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING ON THIS MATTER".
DR. WAYNE L. KERR
PS. If you already sent your photo to my secretary
June, I will know when I talk to her, so don't worry about it UNLESS you
sent it to our old email (XXXX@XXXXX): in which case, send it to this address.
|
| Wayne couldn't answer his phone. But he got tons o' messages (A small number of which are posted here in MP3 format). They all sound a little nervous - Dr Kerr is one angry, angry man. |
30kb
37kb
17kb Hello? Hello?....... Hello?
24kb
42kb
29kb
25kb
30kb
|
| But why not start a movie industry, chief? |
Dear Wayne and June,
I received your mail with some words of insult, what do you by an old
man
like to form a letter ‘L’ with my right hand on my forehead. Look I am
not a
small kid and I am not acting a firm neither do I run a movie industry.
Look you don’t want you colleague in your office to laugh at but you
want to
turn me to a laughing stoke.
Sorry my good friend, I want you to know that I offered this business
to
you, and if you are not interested, then let me know. I can send you my
picture if you want, I can also send you the picture of my wife. But I
will
never in my life form a latter “L” just for you to believe me. My dear
friend if you don’t believe me, could you please tell me what is the
need of
doing business with me? I also want to inform you that I called the
number
you gave to me and it got into voice message. You can also call me on
my
direct line for more discussion. +234-803-3273152.
I am waiting for your urgent response.
Yours sincerely,
Chief Adetola Adebayo.
|
| Lindar got wise! |
Date:
Wed, 25 Jun 2003 13:29:31 -0700 (PDT)
From:
"lindar kamara"
Subject:
Re:
Dear Wayan I don't even know what you call your selff i don't need your help..... You are Criminal get lose |
