This is a continuing adaptation of Judith McNaught's novel, Perfect.

Trust Me

Chapter 4

“What do you think you’re doing?” Jax asked harshly as he pulled Brenda close to him, keeping her wrist locked in his.

She glared at him defiantly.  “What did it look like I was doing?”

A moment of silence passed between them before Jax let go of her wrist.  “Get in the car,” he ordered through clenched teeth.  She stood there, trying to defy him.  “Get in,” he repeated more evenly, but when her eyes grew wide, he knew she was becoming even more fearful of him.  She slowly got into the driver’s seat once more.  Jax stalked around to the passenger side and got in, locking the doors when he closed the door.

Brenda’s hands were shaking, but she didn’t immediately start the car.  She was going to force him to tell her what to do.  She was no longer a cooperative victim, she told herself.  “Brenda,” came the severe, exasperated voice.  She jumped slightly.

Jax sighed and rubbed his hand across his eyes.  He glanced to his right and saw the gas station attendant standing at the door watching them.  Probably concerned since they hadn’t started the car and left yet.  “Brenda, start the car and start driving now,” he kept his voice steady, but cold.

As his hand moved towards his jacket pocket where she knew the gun was stored, Brenda obeyed him.  She’d followed his hand with her eyes and knew better than to continue testing him.  He’d obviously killed someone before, someone he knew well.  He wouldn’t hesitate to kill her now, too.

Within minutes, they were heading west again.  Jax’s eyes went back to the map of New York.  They were almost to the westernmost border.  They needed to go north now.  A few miles up the road would be another county highway headed towards the Canadian border.  He directed Brenda to turn on to it when they got there.

“We have a specific destination in mind?” Brenda asked, finally breaking the cold silence between them. 

Jax cringed inwardly at the tremble in her voice.  She was scared of him and he hated that.  Never in his life had he ever hurt a woman physically.  He knew he wouldn’t start now, but unfortunately, Brenda didn’t know that.  “Yes,” he answered her, but didn’t offer any more information.

“Canada?”

He wouldn’t answer her.  Another long silence fell as they drove onward in the snow.  It had backed off a bit from before, but it was still falling steadily.  There was a good three inches covering the ground where they were now.  It had become pitch dark outside, but it was only five-thirty in the evening.  By now, the highway patrol had to have expanded their searches for him. 

“Mr. Jacks?” Brenda started tentatively.

Jax started at hearing his name.  He hadn’t told her that yet.  “You know who I am,” he said succinctly.  It had been a chance, he knew, that she would remember his face from the articles in the paper two years before.  He had once been a very popular person.  Of course, he still was, but for entirely different reasons now, he thought to himself.

“I kind of recognized you,” she replied quietly.

“When?”

“What?”

“When did you recognize me?  How long ago?  At the truck stop? The gas station?  When?”

It was a somewhat odd question.  “A while ago.  I think when I saw the gun, I knew for sure.  But when I first saw you, while you were changing my tire, I had a feeling I knew you from somewhere.”

“And obviously we never met in my previous life,” he said sarcastically.

“No,” she answered softly.

Jax glanced out the window for a few moments.  The country side was passing by in the dark and he almost smiled when he saw a house that still had its Christmas lights up.  It’d been a long time since he’d seen them.  There wasn’t much occasion for decorating the state penitentiary.

“Do you think I killed her?” Jax asked.  He turned to look at Brenda, waiting for her response.  He didn’t know why he was asking, but for some reason, he just wanted to know.

She glanced sideways at him.  Even in the dark car, she could see his questioning face.  Was that concern she saw in his expression?  Why would he care what she thought of him?  “I don’t know,” she answered honestly.  “The court said you did.”

“Courts say a lot of things.  They’ve sent a lot of innocent men to prison, you know,” he reasoned.

“Is that what you are?  Innocent?”

“I don’t know.  Am I?”

It was almost like a game to him, she thought.  He wasn’t going to tell her.  Certainly he wasn’t going to admit he had killed his ex-wife two years before.  He would know that she could then testify to that fact, when or if they were caught.  But if he was innocent, why wasn’t he trying to convince her of that?  He had a captive audience.

He wanted her to draw her own conclusions about him.  The only thing he knew about her right now was that she was afraid of him.  He had seen the fear in her eyes on several occasions by now.  Surely she thought that if he had killed Miranda, he would kill her, too.  She had no way of knowing, or trusting, that he had no intention of hurting her in any way. 

“You never answered my question,” Brenda said after nearly half an hour had passed in silence.  She had just seen a sign for the Canadian border twenty miles away.

Jax turned his head from where he’d been staring out the window again.  “What question was that?”

“Are we going to someplace in Canada?  The border is twenty miles away.” 

“It’s best if you don’t know where we are going,” he replied.

“But I’m the one driving.  You have to tell me where to go, you know.”  She knew he wasn’t going to do anything to her until he was safe in whatever house they were headed for.  It wouldn’t hurt to get as much information from him as possible now.  Chances were good she would never get the chance to tell anyone.

“Brenda, if you don’t know where we are, then you can’t tell the police how to get back here.”  He sighed, pausing for a moment.  “And you can’t get anyone else in trouble that way.”

“Anyone else?  What do you mean by that?  This isn’t one of your houses we’re going to?”  She had just assumed it would be one of the many properties he was well-known to have had.

Jax snorted, nearly laughing.  “Hell, no!  I couldn’t go to any of my places if I wanted to!  The police would know the second I stepped into the house.”

“Then whose house is this?”

“A friend’s,” was all he would say before he turned his head again.

Brenda glanced at him, but in the dark car, there was no way to know what he was doing.  “And I take it this friend has no idea you’re going to his house?”

Jax wouldn’t answer her.  She kind of knew he wasn’t going to, but she had tried anyway.  “But we are going to Canada?” she persisted one more time.  When he wouldn’t answer her again, she sighed exasperatingly.  “Come on!  We’re fifteen miles from the border, if we don’t turn off, I’ll know anyway.  Besides, Canada is a big country.  Even if I know we’re there, I wouldn’t possibly know where, would I?”

“All right!” he finally exclaimed.  “God, you’re annoying sometimes, you know that?!”  He shoved his hand into his hair, frustrated because she wouldn’t let him think in peace for more than twenty minutes.  Maybe that was her new strategy.  She had given up on escaping from him, so now she was going to annoy him into letting her go.

“So that’s a yes?” she asked quietly.

“Yes!  We are going to Canada!  Now will you just let me think for a minute in silence?”  He turned his eyes forward, watching the road for any signs of a block.  He was worried.  He knew the border was only minutes away and if they were going to be stopped, this would be where it was.

“It’s been almost four hours, Ned!” Lois exclaimed frantically.

“And you’ve been pacing for three,” Ned said under his breath.  He was seated on the leather couch in their living room watching his wife walk back and forth in front of him.  He could almost see the path in the gray carpet on the floor.  “Lois, honey, please sit down.  You’re making me nervous,” he said gently, getting up to stop her mid-stride.

“But she still hasn’t called.  Where could she possibly be?”  Lois finally stopped and stood at the window, watching the front lawn cover with snow.  Already, more than four inches had fallen in the last hours with even more snow being predicted.  Brenda could be trapped on the side of the road, and if she was, she could be there for hours or even days.  “She didn’t answer my last call at all!”

Ned wrapped his arms around her and held her against his chest, facing the window.  “I know you’re worried, but Brenda is a big girl.  She knows how to take care of herself.  Even if she is stranded, I’m sure she’s safe.  She probably pulled off at a hotel when she saw the roads were getting bad.  She’s a sensible person, Lois.”

“Then why hasn’t she called?”

“I don’t know, sweetie.  Maybe her phone is dead or maybe she can’t get service.  Regardless, I’m sure she’s okay.”

Lois turned her head to look up at him.  “You’re sure, huh?”  She smiled a tiny smile.

Turning his wife to face him, Ned smiled reassuringly.  “I am sure.  She’ll be home as soon as she can, and she’ll call you as soon as she can.”  He led her over to the fireplace and made her sit with him.  Kissing her, he attempted to distract her for the next several hours.

Jax nervously tapped his fingers on his knees as he thought as quickly as he could.  Brenda was slowing to a stop at the border to Canada.  He could see three guards standing near the building to the left.  They were all talking, but one of them broke away to approach the vehicle as they stopped.

“You’re going to need ID,” Brenda said quietly.  She had already reached into her bag for her wallet.

“I know,” Jax replied, hating the tremble on his voice.  “Just help me, please.”  He really had no idea what he was going to do when he was asked for identification.

“Help you?!” Brenda hissed.  She had no idea what he meant by that!  She turned her head to look at him as the guard passed in front of their car.  In that glance, though, she took in his clenched jaw and fearful eyes.  She watched him pull his baseball cap further down on his forehead, trying to hide more of his blond hair under it.

“Brenda, please!” Jax pleaded with her.  She saw the absolute fear in his eyes that told her he was deathly afraid she was going to just turn him in right there and then.  It was the perfect opportunity.

She sighed quietly, starting to roll down her window.  She’d made up her mind about what she was going to do.

“Good evening, miss,” the guard said pleasantly as he leaned into their car.  One of his arms rested on the window ledge next to Brenda.  “Not too good of weather for driving tonight, huh?”  Brenda nodded politely, handing the guard her driver’s license.  The guard glanced at it and shook his head.  “I’m afraid this isn’t going to work, ma’am.”

“What do you mean?” Brenda asked nervously.

“I need a passport or birth certificate, ma’am,” he peered in at Jax and nodded.  “I’ll need yours, too, sir.”

“You can’t!” Brenda exclaimed quickly.  Jax’s hands had clenched on his knee and she could see his white knuckles in the glow from the street lights.

“Excuse me?” the guard said.

Jax watched as Brenda talked very quietly with the guard out the side of the car.  She deliberately kept her voice low as if she was telling him a secret.  He could see from her body language and her gestures that she was pleading with him to be very quiet and not let Jax in on whatever they were talking about.  His throat constricted with sudden panic.  She was telling him!

His hand immediately went to the gun in his pocket.  His fingers grasped it tightly, one finger edging to the trigger.  He put one hand out to reach for Brenda, but just as he did so, she turned and started the engine again.  He saw the guard put his finger to his hat and smile.

“All right, I suppose.  Good luck to you and I hope you have a good time!” he told them as he backed away and watched as Brenda started to drive through the gates into Canada.

Brenda glanced sideways at Jax and nearly froze when she saw his hand in his jacket pocket.  She forced herself to keep driving.  “What the hell are you doing?” she exclaimed loudly.

“What am I doing?” Jax nearly shouted.  He felt a surge of panic run through him and leave his body in one wave.  He took his hand out of his pocket and put it to his head.  “What am I doing?!  What was that?  What did you tell him?!”

“Does it matter?” she had started to relax when he let go of the gun.  She had more control in this situation than she’d thought.  He was afraid of her, almost as much as she was of him, she thought. 

Jax forced himself to calm down.  His hands were still shaking as he finally took off his hat and ran his fingers through his hair.  He leaned forward and put his head in his hands for a moment.  She could have ended it all right there.  So why hadn’t she?

“You helped me,” he said softly, gazing at her in the darkness.

“Yes,” she replied succinctly.

“You could have told him anything.  You could have told him I escaped from Pentonville.  You could have told him I had kidnapped you and was holding you hostage.”

“Yes.”

“But you didn’t.”

“No.”

“Why?”

She looked over at him again, noticing for the first time just exactly how handsome he was.  He had taken off his cap and now she could almost see what he really looked like.  At least, she could see him in the glow from the street lights as they drove under each one.  “I’m not really sure why,” she answered honestly.

“You don’t think I did it, do you?” he concluded softly.  “You’re not sure I killed her, are you?”

She didn’t answer him.  They drove in silence for another hundred miles before either of them spoke again.

“How much further?” Brenda finally asked as they made another turn onto yet another highway, this one heading further west still.  It had finally stopped snowing after they had crossed the border, but she could see how much more severe the weather was this far north.  They had several more inches of snow on the ground and the sky was still pitch black, meaning there were only clouds above them.

“Not much further at all,” Jax responded.  He saw how doubtful her expression was.  He glanced at the dashboard clock.  It was after eight o’clock.  They had been driving for more than five hours.  “I promise,” he added.

True to his word, Jax directed Brenda to turn off the main road after another fifteen miles.  It was a side road that was barely paved.  Only one car, going one direction would make it up this driveway, if that was in fact what it was, but she knew no one would be coming the other way.  They hadn’t seen another car for the last thirty miles.  The drive wound its way up a steep hill and Brenda was suddenly thankful her Jeep had four-wheel drive.  The road was covered with snow as if no one had plowed since the last snowfall.  Her only guides were the small poles on either side of the driveway as she drove cautiously between them.  The drive was now very tedious.

Ten minutes later, they were still traveling up the hill.  It was slow going because of the snow, but she was guessing they had still gone almost a full mile uphill.  Finally, after another five minutes, they crested the hill and she saw the house.  She had to stop herself from catching her breath in awe.

Though the headlights only illuminated a portion of it, the house was quite large.  It wasn’t enormous, as she would have expected, though, and that surprised her, although she couldn’t quite figure why she had a preconceived notion of what the house was supposed to look like.  The driveway ended at a four-car garage and there was small shed the size of a two-car garage just to the right of it, facing them.  There was only one window in that building.  The house was sided in a painted, brown wood with the front door in the center of it all.  A large picture window topped the door so that when lights were on inside, a person would be able to see the upstairs.

The house and the surrounding areas were completely black once she turned off the headlights.  Jax got out of the car first.  He stepped down onto at least eight inches of untouched snow.  No one had been here in awhile, he knew.  No one came up here anymore, really.  That was the reason he had planned to use this place.  He walked cautiously over to Brenda’s side of the car, opening the door to let her out.  She had been hesitant because of all the snow.  Already, he could feel the snow seeping into his new jeans and boots.

“Just be careful,” he warned her as she got out and stepped into his tracks.  She stood there as he opened the back of the SUV and took out a few of her belongings and his duffle bag.  He returned to her side and held out his hand.  “Give me the keys,” he said.

She handed them to him without an argument since she knew exactly why he wanted them.  God only knew what he was going to do with them.  He could lock them in the car and then neither of them could go anywhere for a very long time.  He could throw them into the woods and neither of them would be able to find them.  She was surprised when he merely threw them into his duffle bag.

Jax grabbed her by the elbow and led her to the front door.  Her eyes had adjusted to what very little light there was and she walked in his footsteps the whole way there.  “Stay here,” he said.  He walked around the side of the house and disappeared into the darkness.

She could run for it, she knew.  But she wouldn’t get very far before he either caught up to her or she got so lost that she would freeze to death in the woods.  It was almost a mile down to the main road, after all.  Instead, she chose to do as she was told and stood there, waiting for him to return.  A moment later, she heard the distinct sound of breaking glass and assumed he would open the front door for her after breaking a side window and getting in the house.

She yelped when she heard him crunching the snow on his way back to her.  “You didn’t break a window?” she asked, confused by the breaking glass sound.

Jax held up a key.  “Didn’t have to,” he replied.  He fit the key into the front door and opened the door. 

A loud beeping told her there was a security system, but her hopes of setting it off were dashed when he punched in the five digit code on the keypad next to the door.  He flipped a light switch and immediately, the front foyer, with the picture window, was illuminated.  She could see into the sunken living room and the kitchen back and to the left of it.  There was a dining room to the left of where they stood.  A coat closet separated their view directly into the kitchen.  A little light reached the top of the stairs and she could see a loft-style second story with few walls.

“Go on,” Jax prodded her quietly, knowing she wanted to look around.  He took his bag with him into the kitchen and turned on another light.

Brenda followed him, looking around intently.  The kitchen was on the same level as the front foyer, but the living room, which turned out to be a great room with a view into the second story loft, was down four steps and to the right.  Three huge picture windows looked out the back of the house.  The view, even in the darkness, was incredible.  A deck jutted off the side of the mountain they were on and beyond that, there was nothing.  She could see the dark shapes of the mountains around them.

The decorating was contemporary, but had a distinctly feminine touch to it.  The plush burgundy carpet under her feet in the great room was so thick it left marks where she walked.  A sectioned gray leather couch was set in an L-shape and a matching, patterned chair filled out three sides of a square.  A glass coffee table sat in the middle of them.  The fourth side was a wall of entertainment, including a big-screen television and a huge fireplace.  She opened an oak cabinet next to it all and found it full of videos and DVDs.  They could watch six movies a day for the next several months with that collection.

Brenda turned when she heard Jax put down his duffle bag on the kitchen counter.  The kitchen was lit and she could finally see him clearly, if from a slight distance.  He was an astoundingly handsome man.  His blonde hair was a perfect cap to his perfect looks, although she could tell it had once been more sun-streaked than it was now.  But there was something off about him, she thought.  He looked extremely tired, as if he hadn’t slept at all in days.  The light showed her a long, thin scar on the back of his hand when he took off his coat, barely able to be seen if the light hadn’t shone off it.  She was certain that two years in prison had given him numerous other scars, both on the outside and the inside.

Something occurred to her as she looked around the kitchen.  She went up the four steps as Jax watched her, leaning against the gray granite counter top.  “No one’s been here in months, right?” she asked.

He nodded.  “Right.”

“So, how is there any food here?  We certainly didn’t bring any with us and only boxed stuff would be able to stay for months on end.  What about everything else?  How can we possibly stay here?”

Her true motives showed through, Jax thought, smiling only to himself.  He shook his head ruefully.  “Nice try, Brenda, but there’s a freezer full of food out in the garage.  We used to stock it every time before we left just in case we ever just wanted to drop everything and come here.”

We?  She wondered, but didn’t ask about that.  The house was quiet except for the sounds of the furnace warming up.  She wondered what the rest of it looked like and gazed around curiously.

“You can go look at it, Brenda,” Jax said quietly.  “After all, you should get to know the place we’ll be staying in for awhile.”

Awhile?  She was afraid to ask how long that was going to be.  Instead, she kept her mouth shut and started to wander through the kitchen.  The granite counter tops had light gray cabinets above and below them.  Black, state-of-the-art appliances were on every corner.  In the counter that ran next to the great room, there was a bar on both sides.  A wooden wine rack, accessible from both sides, topped a glass bar on the lower side of the living room.

While Brenda looked around the house, Jax remained in the kitchen.  After she was out of sight, he leaned his forearms on the counter behind him and put his head in his hands.  He sighed with great relief at the thought of finally being able to stop and think.

No one would find them here, he assured himself.  No one had come up here in a very long time and they certainly weren’t going to show up in the middle of a snow storm.  They were safe for a few days, at least.  He thought about Roy and wondered what had happened once he had started to run.  He hadn’t let Brenda turn the radio on in the car, even though he knew the silence was driving her crazy.  He’d seen her hand reach for the knob more than once to turn the radio back on.  She’d stopped herself with a glance at him every time.

She was scared of him, that much was for sure.  It was the first time he knew a woman to be truly frightened of him, of who he was.  But that wasn’t who he really was, he thought.  He had to be cold to her.  He had to order her to do as he said.  And he had to keep reminding himself of that.  It was unfortunate that she was even involved now, but he couldn’t turn back time.  They had to deal with it.

Jax heard a sound behind him and jumped, whirling around to see the source.

She’d watched him for a few minutes before making a slight noise to get his attention.  His long, muscular back showed signs of fatigue from where he was leaning on the counter.  She heard him sigh and saw him run his fingers through his hair again.  Brenda stood in the doorway to the kitchen from the back hallway, unable to hide her blatant admiration of the house.  “This house is amazing,” she informed him.

“Yes,” he replied.  He crossed his arms in front of him and watched her.  She didn’t approach him, keeping her distance.  “You can have which ever bedroom you’d like,” he told her.  There was a total of three.

“Really?”

Jax nodded.  “Sure.  The house has an alarm system, so trust me, I’ll know if you try to leave it in the middle of the night.  And I have your keys, so unless you plan on hiking a very long way in the freezing cold, I know you won’t be going anywhere.”

Brenda nodded as the realization had set in.  “Ah, right, of course.”  She looked around once more.  “Well, then I guess I’m going to go to bed.”

He merely nodded in reply.  As she started to walk towards the bedroom of her choice, he stopped her with one more question.  “What did you tell that guard?”

She turned and looked at him.  He could see the first small glint of amusement in her deep brown eyes.  “The border guard?”  He nodded.  “I told him I was surprising you by taking you to Canada to elope and then we were going to spend two weeks on a fabulous honeymoon.  And that you knew nothing about it, so he shouldn’t let on to you.”

As she turned again to go back towards the bedroom, she saw him smile and lower his head, his shoulders shaking slightly in silent laughter.  It was the first true smile she had seen from him since she met him.

 

Chapter 4