Straight From the Heart
Chapter 13
Brenda awoke slowly in Jax's arms with a smile on her face. Jax was lying next to her, watching her
sleep. He was fascinated by her every
move. He was memorizing every detail of
her again. He felt as if he had finally
come home, lying next to her in this bed.
The only question there could be was what to do now? He knew.
He'd been planning it in his mind every since he'd woken nearly two
hours before.
"Good morning," she said softly and kissed his lips. She rolled over on top of him and propped
her arms across his chest.
"Morning," he replied, kissing her again. He smiled when they pulled away.
She studied him for only a second before she realized he was up to
something. "What, Jax?" she
asked. "What are you
planning?"
How did she do that? Even
after all this time, she could read him so well. He only smiled again and said, "You'll have to wait and see,
won't you?"
"You know I hate surprises."
"I know." He
kissed her again and this time it turned much more passionate much more
quickly. Before long, they were making
love into the late hours of the morning.
Afterwards, as Jax relaxed against the pillows on the bed, Brenda
turned to him in his arms.
"Jax?" she began.
"Hmmm?"
"Please forgive me for asking, but are you okay?" She didn't want to bring up the previous
day's events, but she knew they had to discuss it sometime.
He had to think about how to answer her. "Yeah, I think I am," he finally answered. "I don't know if I'll ever be 'okay,'
but I do know that I cannot live one more day of my life without you in
it. I need you more than anything right
now. If I gave it up for any reason, I
don't think I could ever forgive myself.
I don't think I'd ever be sane again."
"Can you explain to me what yesterday was all about
then?" She was curious to know,
but she didn't know if he'd be able to explain it to her.
He tried to explain what had contributed to what had happened. "I'm not sure, you know? It was like all of a sudden, I didn't know
what was real anymore. I thought, for
three years, that you were gone from my life and I would never see you
again. For the longest time, I thought
I couldn't live with that. But finally,
I learned to. With a lot of help, I
began to live a life again. I told
Jerry at one point that I thought I had lost you permanently and suddenly, it
wasn't so permanent anymore. And that
must mean that I'm going to lose you again."
Brenda gasped softly.
"Oh, Jax, no."
"Let me finish, sweetie.
You know I've lost you so many times.
I just began to think that that was my fate again. You were going to come back to me and I
would eventually lose you one more time.
The thing was, I knew that if I lost you again, I would surely go
insane. I wouldn't make it back this
time. I put the pieces together only
after a very long time the last time.
But if it happened again, I wouldn't be able to do it. I couldn't live with the possibility of not
having you for the rest of my life."
"You won't have to--"
"Neither one of us can promise that anymore. Maybe one time we could, but not now. Remember the last time we said forever, it
didn't turn out quite the way we wanted it to.
So, I have accepted that we cannot promise to be together forever
anymore, but I will always promise to love you with my whole heart and
soul. I still believe in one promise,
Brenda, one we always made to each other.
And I had to find out the hard way that it will transcend death for
us. Now and forever, I will always
promise that Nobody Leaves." He
finished with tears shining in his eyes that he tried to blink away before they
fell. He didn't succeed.
Brenda wiped away the tear that ran down his face and smiled
tenderly at him. "Nobody
Leaves," she repeated firmly.
"Brenda, let's go!" Jax called from the
bottom of the steps. He opened the door
as he finally heard her coming from the bedroom.
"You know, Jax, I don't understand why I'm not
allowed to know where we're going," Brenda grumbled as she made her way
past him and into the elevator. She was
carrying the one suitcase she was permitted with only the items Jax had picked
out for her to take with her.
Earlier that afternoon, Jax had gone into storage
and gotten her things from the boxes he'd kept. The clothes still fit her as they always had and she felt at home
with them again. He'd instructed her to
put only the items he'd given her into the bag and that they would leave as soon
as she was done. "You know why,
it's a surprise. And last time I
checked, if I told you where we were going, it wouldn't be a surprise
anymore," he teased her.
They got into the waiting limousine and the
driver pulled away in the direction of the airport. When they arrived, Jax pushed a still-protesting Brenda onto the
plane and made her seatbelt in. He was
not going to fly the jet this time, rather he would sit with her in the back
and keep his secret mercilessly.
Five hours later, the small jet landed on a
remote island in the South Caribbean.
At which time, Jax ushered Brenda, who had given up trying to get him to
tell her what was going on, onto the waiting yacht. After they set sail, Brenda cornered him with a smile on her
face.
"I know what you're doing, Jax," she
said. "I thought we agreed three
years ago that the next time we got married, we would do it in front of friends
and family."
"That was three years ago, Brenda, and a lot
has happened since then. I know we
agreed to that, but I thought maybe you would forgive me when I told you why I
had to do this." He stood against
the railing as the night wind blew through his blond hair. He took her hand in his and pulled her
closer so that he could wrap his arms around her waist. "The only way for me to be truly sure
that this was going to go through this time was for me not to tell anyone about
it. You know what's happened in the
past, with Miranda and the accident. I
couldn't let that happen again this time.
I need you, Brenda, and I want you as my wife. I want to wake with you in the morning and know that we finally
did it. It's one way for me to be sure
not to lose you for one more night."
"Jax--" Brenda began.
"Please don't tell me no, sweetie. I want to do this with you tonight." He looked deep into her eyes. "But if it's not what you want, I will
call the minister and tell him to stay home.
We can go back home tonight, if it's what you want. We can have the big wedding with everyone
there. I'll do whatever you want to
do."
She hesitated for a few minutes before gently
shaking her head. "No," she
said softly, "it's not what I want.
I want to marry you, Jasper Jacks.
Tonight. You're right, you
know. If we waited, there would be so
much to deal with and plan and get done.
Not only is it easier this way, but you were right again, too. I want you, too. I want to be with you every night that we can and this is one of
them. I want more than anything to be
married to you and to have you as my husband.
And you know what, once we're completely legal, we can do it again, in
front of family and everyone else. But,
I know as well as you do, that we need to do this so that no one can stop us
and no one can stand in our way again."
She nodded and smiled again.
"This is what I want to do."
"I was hoping you'd say that," he
responded, grinning. Quickly, he leaned
down and kissed her tenderly on the lips.
"Now, go. Get dressed and
meet me back here in an hour."
Laughing, she left him alone on the deck. Jax turned to look out at the water and the twinkling stars
above. "In one hour, we will be
married," he promised them and himself.
Exactly one hour later, Brenda emerged from the
stateroom below deck. She was wearing a
simple white gown, much like the first she'd worn with Jax on a yacht similar
to this one. Her dark tresses flowed
freely down her back in glorious curls.
Jax was standing before the railing as he had been before, wearing a
black tuxedo that contrasted sharply with his tanned skin. The smile on their faces matched each other
as she walked toward him. From
somewhere within the ship, soft music began to play, ending when she stood
beside him.
To Brenda's great surprise, the same minister
stepped before them to begin the simple ceremony. This time, when he pronounced their names correctly, she laughed
a little and smiled at Jax. She was
sure he had made sure the man knew the correct pronunciations.
"Brenda, do you take this man to be your
husband? Do you promise to love him and
honor him for all the days of your life?
To stand by him through hard times and good times? Until death do you part?"
With absolute certainty, Brenda looked into Jax's
eyes and nodded. "I do," she
said clearly and firmly.
"Jasper, do you take this woman to be your
wife? Do you promise to love her and
honor her for all the days of your life?
To stand by her through hard times and good times? Until death do you part?"
"I do," he smiled into Brenda's eyes,
the joy apparent on his face. They'd
finally done it. They were finally
married.
Just after Jax responded, the ringing of a
telephone could be heard. It was Jax's
cell phone from the table in the corner of the deck. He considered not answering.
"I knew I should have left that at home," he apologized to
Brenda. He also knew he had to answer
it. If it were Jerry and he didn't
answer it, his brother might worry too much.
He strode to the table quickly and picked up the
phone on its fifth ring. "Jax
here," he answered it. He listened
for a few seconds and hung up the phone without saying another word. He looked visibly shaken by whatever the
person on the other line had told him.
"Honey, are you okay?" Brenda asked
him. She placed one hand on his arm and
felt him trembling a little bit. He
appeared to be in another world for a few minutes.
Finally, he shook himself free and turned to the
minister. "We have to finish
this," he said quietly. He nodded
slightly to the man for him to continue.
"I now pronounce you man and wife," the
man said uncertainly. "You may
kiss the bride."
Jax kissed Brenda softly and sweetly, but she
could tell he was distracted by whatever he'd just been told. She dismissed the minister after thanking him
and turned to Jax who had sat down on the edge of the deck chair behind
him. "Jax, sweetie, please tell me
what's going on," she pleaded after getting his attention. She kneeled in front of him, waiting for his
response.
"Brenda, I'm sorry, but we have to go. We have to go home."
"Why?
What's happened? Is it bad
news?" It was a dumb
question. She knew from his state that
it was.
"Yeah, yeah, it's bad news. It's Jerry," his composure broke as
soon as he said his brother's name. He
covered his face and lowered his head, tears springing to his eyes.
Brenda moved instantly and sat in the only place
she could think of, on Jax's lap. She
put her arms around his shoulders as his arms went automatically around her
waist, holding tightly. "What about
Jerry?" she asked gently.
"There's been an accident," Jax said
quietly, before a fresh wave of emotions broke over him.
Brenda and Jax were on their way into General
Hospital back in Port Charles when Jax suddenly stopped. Because he was holding tightly to her hand,
Brenda stopped, as well. "Jax,
what's wrong?" she asked, concerned.
"I was just thinking. No one knows…this is the first time…Oh,
God…" he said softly.
"What?
No one knows what? That we're
married? So what? That doesn't matter right now, does it?"
she persisted.
"You, Brenda. No one knows you're here, that you're alive. Nevermind that we're married. No one knows you are even alive…except for…"he
stopped as his voice caught on his brother's name. Emotion threatened to overtake him once again, but he held it
back.
Brenda looked surprised. She had forgotten about that. "Look, Jax, that doesn't matter right
now. People will know soon enough anyway,
right? What matters now is that we get
in and see Jerry. Your brother is
fighting for his life in there and I know you.
If you don't hear that he's going to be okay or see it for yourself,
you'll never believe it. So let's
go. We'll deal with everything else
later."
Jax gave her a grateful look and a hug before he
nodded. She was right and he knew
that. He needed to see his
brother. He took hold of her hand again
and pushed through the doors to the hospital.
They took the elevator to the ICU floor and immediately asked for
Jerry's room number.
Jen was standing outside his room as they
approached. She was looking anxiously
through the window to the room as she watched a doctor examine Jerry's
condition. "Oh, Jax," she said
as she turned and saw them approaching.
She stepped up to him and hugged him tightly, clinging to him briefly.
Jax hugged his brother's girlfriend back and then
stepped away. Brenda wrapped an arm
around his waist protectively as he asked, "Jen, what happened?" Before she could answer, he walked over to
the window to the room and looked through it.
Jerry was lying on the bed, seemingly sleeping,
but Jax knew better. "He's in a
coma, Jax," Jen began to explain.
"There's some internal bleeding and he had emergency surgery last
night to repair some of the damage.
He's in critical condition."
Jax ran a hand through his hair and turned to
look at Jen. "I can see that. But what happened? How did this happen?"
"It was a car accident. Jerry was on his way to my house when he was
sideswiped by a drunk driver. The other
guy ran a red light at the intersection just before my house. I heard the crash and went to see what happened. I recognized Jerry's SUV immediately. He was unconscious when I got there. Someone else called the paramedics and we
ended up here. And I called
you." She looked like she felt
responsible in some way for the accident.
Jax hugged her again to reassure her that no one
could possibly blame her for what happened.
"My parents," he said suddenly.
"I already called them," Jen told
him. "They're on their way and
they should be here in about another hour or so. I thought you'd be here long before this, though."
"We were out of town," Brenda filled in
as Jax turned back to the window. He
looked stricken and at a loss. Brenda
could only imagine what he was going through.
The doctor came out of the room just then. He spoke to Jax for a few minutes, but
didn't tell him anything other than what Jen had already told him. He did tell Jax he was allowed to see Jerry,
but only for a few minutes.
Jax went in alone and sat down in the chair
beside the bed. He looked at Jerry for
a long time, just watching him breathe.
He took Jerry's hand in his own, lowering his forehead to rest on
them. He took a shaky breath and looked
back up at his brother's face. "Oh
God, Jerry," he said softly.
"Come on, please. I need
you. You can't leave me now, not after
everything that's happened. I can't get
Brenda back just to lose you in return.
I can't go through this again."
He blinked slowly as one tear rolled down his face. He was so afraid. He was so afraid to lose again.