This is an adaptation of Judith McNaught's novel, Double Standards.

Secrets and Love

Chapter 8

Monday morning, Brenda looked at herself in her bedroom mirror while she brushed her long, dark brown hair so that it hung gracefully down her back.  She lost focus on the mirror as she thought back to the ending of Saturday night.

As Nikolas moved to draw her closer, Brenda’s mind kicked into gear and she pulled back gently, remaining in his linked arms.  She put her hand on his chest to keep him back and she could feel his heart beating rapidly, as she imagined hers was, too.  “Nikolas,” she whispered warningly when he tilted his head towards hers again.

He smiled sheepishly and straightened again, but he didn’t break his gaze into her eyes.  “I’m sorry,” he said softly.  “I guess I just got caught up.”

“I understand,” she replied, smiling.  “I think we both did.”

Nikolas frowned slightly and let his hands drop from around her waist.  “You have regrets,” he said, not asking a question.  He took a step backwards and then ran his fingers through his dark, tousled hair.

She rushed to make him understand.  “No!” she exclaimed quickly.  “I don’t regret anything, I promise!”  She paused, trying to think of the words she wanted to use so he wouldn’t jump to another conclusion.  “It’s just that I’m not sure I’m ready for this.”

“You’re not ready to kiss me?” he asked, obviously puzzled.  “I don’t understand, Brenda.  Are you seeing someone else?”

“No,” Brenda answered firmly, finally stepping back from his embrace.  “I’m not seeing anyone else, but I also thought this wasn’t a date.”  She couldn’t tell him that while she had been kissing him, she had been comparing him to Jax in the back of her mind.  He definitely wouldn’t understand that.  It wasn’t even right for her to do it.  She needed to put Jax out of her mind for good.

Nikolas smiled.  “Then, I apologize again.  You are right.  We did agree this was not a date, didn’t we?  I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.”

It was evident he was trying not to show that she had hurt him when she had drawn away from him.  He obviously liked her and the problem was, she found herself liking him, too.  Reaching out a hand to him, she clasped his hand tightly.  “I’m not uncomfortable with you.  In fact, I like you very much, Nikolas,” Brenda admitted.  “I just wasn’t expecting this tonight.  There’s a lot about tonight that I wasn’t expecting.”  Her mind drifted back to her confrontation with Jax on the terrace.

Nikolas shifted their hands and threaded his fingers through hers.  He pulled her closer and smiled down into her eyes.  “And I wasn’t expecting you,” he replied softly before he started to lead her out of the office.

After that, they had gone back up to the party in the ballroom.  Dinner was just being served and they ate with Ned and Lois.  Two dances later and Brenda had asked Nikolas if they could go on home.  He readily agreed.  When he pulled up in front of her townhouse, he took her hand in his again, turning to look at her in the darkened car. 

“I hope you don’t mind me saying this, Brenda, but I had a good time with you tonight,” Nikolas said quietly.

She smiled, knowing he couldn’t see her very well and then looked down at their hands.  “I had a good time, too, Nikolas,” she responded.

“You sound surprised.”

Looking up at him quickly, she shook her head emphatically.  “No!” she exclaimed before she caught the teasing smile on his face.  “No,” she repeated, “I’m not surprised that I had a good time with you.”

He laughed, a deep, rich laugh that filled the car.  She couldn’t help giggling slightly in return.  “I’ll see you on Monday,” Nikolas said as he let go of her hand, knowing their time was ending.

“Yes, definitely,” Brenda replied.  She leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek before she got out of the car and headed up to her front door.  Nikolas waited until she had gone inside before he pulled out of her driveway.  She had watched his car until it disappeared from the window next to her door.

Now, as she fastened her earrings into her ears, she smiled at her reflection in the mirror.  Nikolas had been a perfect gentleman the entire evening.  She had been surprised that she had a good time since it had been a party hosted by Jax in the first place.  But seeing him there with his date and then having the confrontation with him on the balcony had made her realize that it would never work between them.  She was more determined than ever to put him out of her mind.  She would concentrate only on what might be starting to happen with Nikolas.  She touched her lips softly, remembering the gentle kiss they’d shared that night.

Sometime in the mid-morning, Brenda was arranging the contents of a new filing cabinet when Nikolas arrived in the office.  He had been in a meeting earlier in the morning and she had yet to see him.  She smiled immediately when she saw him.  He almost ignored Lois completely as he walked directly over to her. 

“Good morning, Brenda,” he said softly, grinning at her in return. 

“Hi, Nikolas,” she replied.  She was fully aware of the blatant stare she was getting from Lois, the knowing smile relaying everything she was thinking.  She had a sudden urge to stick her tongue out her friend, but suppressed it by directing her attention up at Nikolas.  “How was your meeting?”

“Oh, fascinating,” he said, the sarcasm even more apparent as he rolled his eyes.  “But I’m telling you, something is up with that CEO of ours.”

“Really?  What makes you think so?” Brenda tried to keep any trace of interest in Jax out of her voice.

Nikolas shrugged.  “I don’t know.  He’s just been very tense lately.  He nearly took Ned’s head off this morning again and he’s been unusually harsh recently.  I think Ned stuck around for a little while to see what was going on with him.”

Brenda glanced at Lois.  She knew Lois would eventually find out what Ned knew.  Lois returned her gaze and nodded in an unspoken promise to relay any pertinent information.  “Well, I’m sure he’ll get over it,” she replied, still looking at Lois.  She was hoping that particular message would, in turn, get relayed to Jax.

“I’m sure he will,” Nikolas nodded in agreement.  He took a step toward her, smiling gently as he lowered his voice.  “Listen, I was wondering if you would want to have dinner with me tonight.”

She lowered her voice to match his, completely aware that she was driving Lois nuts.  “Why, Nikolas, are you asking me on another date?” she replied teasingly. 

He chuckled softly.  “Yes, actually, I am,” he said.  “If you’ll have me.”

Brenda met his dancing eyes, grinning up at him.  “And I will,” she responded succinctly.  “Pick me up at seven?”

“You’ve got a date,” he answered before he turned, conspicuously winked at Lois, and headed into his office.

Brenda watched him until he closed his door and then turned back to the filing cabinet before her.  She pretended to be completely absorbed in her work as she felt Lois’s stare burning into her head.  She grinned to herself before she lifted her eyes innocently.  “What?”

Lois opened her mouth to say something and then thought better of it.  She was happy for her friend, especially since she remembered how Brenda had looked when she had first found out about Jax’s life.  Now, she looked happy, and if Nikolas was the one to put that look on her face, then so be it.  She shook her head in response to Brenda’s question.  “Nothing, nevermind,” she said softly, smiling at her friend.

At the same time, Ned was standing in the middle of Jax’s office waiting for a response to his question.  His arms were crossed and he was not smiling.  Jax was avoiding the answer and he knew why.  “Come on, Jax,” Ned said, exasperated.  “Answer me.  Why does it bother you that Brenda was at the party on Saturday with Nikolas?”

Jax didn’t look at his friend, steadfastly refusing to answer the question.  He busied his hands on his desk by straightening the reports in the corner.  Leaning his hip against the desk, he looked out the wall of windows in his new office.  Crossing his arms, he continued to berate himself internally for taking out his frustration with his situation with Brenda on his friends and partners.  It was stupid, really.  He was with Courtney and Brenda was with Nikolas.  Obviously, there was no problem then.  The only problem was that he was quickly falling for Brenda and until Saturday night, he had thought she was falling for him.

Finally, Jax sighed deeply and turned his head to look at Ned.  “I don’t know why it bothers me, Ned,” he said. 

“Well, I do,” Ned responded, meeting Jax’s eyes steadily.

Jax stood to face his friend and crossed his arms over his chest.  “You do, huh?  I don’t know how that’s possible, if I don’t even know how I feel.”

Ned gave Jax a pointed stare.  “Jax, seriously, you know what I’m talking about here.  It bothers you that Brenda is dating Nikolas because you want it to be you she’s dating.  You wanted it to be her on your arm Saturday night.”

Wanted it to be him she was kissing in the office Saturday night, Jax’s mind added to Ned’s comments.  He shook his head slowly, smiling slightly.  “You’re wrong, Ned,” he lied, but if he told the truth, Ned would have never let it go.  “I don’t care what Brenda does with her time or who she does it with.”

Ned studied Jax for a minute before giving him a knowing smile and nodding imperceptibly.  “Yeah, right.  Whatever you say, Jax.”  He turned on his heel after one last look and exited Jax’s office, closing the door behind him.

Jax dropped into his leather desk chair, burying his head in his hands.  He wasn’t fooling anyone and why he thought he could make Ned think otherwise, he had no idea.  Ned was absolutely right.  He did want Brenda – badly.  Now he just had to make sure he got her.

“What are you thinking?” Nikolas asked Brenda later that night.  She had been quiet for the last several minutes and she hadn’t touched the food in front of her.

Brenda started when he broke into her thoughts, smiling sheepishly.  Here she was on a date with a gorgeous man and all she could think about was Jax.  She tried desperately to put her thoughts in the back of her mind and focus on Nikolas.  “I’m sorry,” she apologized quickly, picking up her fork to eat some of the meal in front of her.  “I was just thinking about the last time I was in this restaurant.”

Nikolas looked around a bit, catching the spectacular view of the river from his seat.  This was one of his favorite restaurants, so he had thought Brenda would enjoy it.  He didn’t think she had been around long enough to have even known about it, let alone have already eaten there once.  “You’ve been here before?” he asked, surprised.

Brenda nodded slightly.  “Once,” she replied softly, trying not to think too much about that particular night. 

“And the experience wasn’t good?” he asked, thinking by her tone that something had been wrong.

Shaking her head, she said, “No, it was fine.”  More than fine, her mind corrected her.  She tried again to quiet that voice.

They finished their meals while they talked idly about the office and their coworkers.  Nikolas had just finished paying the bill when Brenda looked up to see Jax walking into the restaurant with his arm around Courtney and talking animatedly with the maitre d’.  He was smiling and leaning over to whisper something into his date’s ear.

Brenda tore her eyes away from him as quickly as she could.  She suppressed her surprised gasp by grabbing a hold of Nikolas’s hand where it lay on the table.  “Let’s get out of here,” she said, trying not to make it sound like she was hurrying him.  She tried to make it look like all she wanted was to get him alone, which was partially true.

Nikolas smiled and grasped her hand tightly in his, turning his hand to lace their fingers together.  “Whatever you want,” he replied softly.  He stood up from the table, taking her with him and then pulled her to his side, wrapping his arm around her waist.

A minute later, as they were walking toward the door to leave, Nikolas finally noticed Jax’s arrival.  The maitre d’ was leading Jax and Courtney to their table, the table directly next to where Nikolas and Brenda had just been sitting and the very same table she had shared with Jax on their first date.  Brenda tried to speed up their exit, but Nikolas stopped her with a slight pressure on her waist.

“Jax, Courtney, how are you?” Nikolas greeted the two.

Brenda cringed inwardly knowing she would now have to make at least some conversation with Jax.  The worst of it was the fact that Nikolas had no idea what was between Jax and her.  And she had a sneaking suspicion, based on the curious look on Jax’s companion’s face, neither did Courtney.

The awkward introductions were made with Nikolas introducing Brenda to Courtney.  Brenda took the opportunity to study the other woman to try to see what Jax saw in her.  The only thing the two of them had in common was their eye color, Brenda noted.  Courtney was tall while Brenda was petite.  Brenda’s brown hair was dark enough it was almost black while Courtney’s blonde hair shined brightly.  Courtney had an air of seriousness about her while Brenda had always tried to counteract that same trait in herself. 

Jax stood silently as Nikolas and Courtney made polite conversation.  He was watching Brenda size up his date and he had yet to see a look of approval, he noted with slight satisfaction.  Undoubtedly, she had noticed how different the two of them were.  He had noticed it himself the night of the party when the two women were in the same room together.  It had struck him then how purely platonic his relationship with Courtney was becoming.  She didn’t even come close to lighting the fire in his blood that Brenda did.  The mere sight of Brenda could bring thoughts to his mind that Courtney couldn’t after three years of periodic dating, none of which could be called exclusive.

“Well, we should really be going,” Brenda heard Nikolas say as he took her hand in his once again.  She forced a smile to her face and nodded in agreement, meeting Nikolas’s gaze.  Holding out her free hand to Courtney, she said politely, “It was very nice to meet you, Courtney.  Enjoy your dinner here.  I’m sure you know the view is spectacular.”  She decided it gave her great pleasure to see the look of disappointment in Jax’s eyes at her cool reaction.

Nikolas stopped just inside the doorway to the restaurant and turned to face Brenda.  He glanced back to where Jax and Courtney were now sitting.  Jax looked like he was watching them intently as they left.  “Did I miss something?” Nikolas asked.

Brenda smiled, refusing to look back at Jax since she could feel his stare on her back.  Shaking her head, she replied, “Not at all.”  She leaned in towards her date and stood on her toes slightly, meeting his lips with hers in a brief kiss she was certain set Jax to seething.  She almost grinned with the pleasure of that knowledge.

The voicemail light was blinking on Brenda’s phone when she got to her desk the following morning.  As soon as she put her things in her desk and sat down, she dialed the number to retrieve the messages.  There was only one, from Jax’s secretary.  She was requested in Mr. Jacks’s office at nine o’clock that morning for a meeting with Mr. Jacks.

Immediately, as she hung up the phone, she felt an angry heat rising to her cheeks.  She took several deep breaths to calm herself down, but it didn’t seem to help.  He was going to use his place of business to retaliate against her for dating someone else?!  How dare he?  He had some ego if he thought she was going to let him get away with that!

The same thoughts ran through her head for the next half an hour as she fumed at her desk.  At precisely nine o’clock, she walked off the elevator towards Jax’s secretary’s desk.  She could barely keep the bite from her tongue as she told the woman why she was there.  She was directed to a leather chair across the reception area and told to wait until Mr. Jacks was finished with a very important phone call. 

Fifteen minutes later, Brenda was still waiting.  Fury was rising through her again and she had just gotten up to tell the secretary to relay the message to Mr. Jacks that he could take his job and shove it when the phone on the desk buzzed and she was gestured towards the door.  She forced herself to take several deep breaths before she put her hand on the doorknob and twisted it silently.

Jax was seated behind his desk, looking very relaxed and very smug, and it only served to raise her ire more.  He was twirling a gold pen in his fingers while he watched her enter the office and close the door.  She saw his eyes flicker down over her body and she watched him practically lick his lips at her short skirt and silk blouse.  He certainly thought he was in control here.

“Why am I here?” Brenda asked bluntly as she walked across his office, blatantly ignoring his suggestive looks.

Jax grinned, easily interpreting her anger with him.  He could almost hear her yelling at him in her mind.  “I have a job for you.  One I don’t think you can turn down.”

“Are you a betting man?”  She refused to sit, refused to give him that advantage.  As long as she was standing, she could still walk out the door.

He bit back the impressed whistle at her tone.  She was obviously furious with him.  For some reason, that gave him a jolt of pleasure.  He forced the smile not to come to his lips.  “I need someone to work here for me for a few weeks.”

“You have someone who works for you.  You hardly need me.”

Jax cocked an eyebrow and in one gesture, changed the tone of the conversation, putting himself back in charge.  “Let me finish,” he said, his tone turning more boss-like than conversational.  It was also obvious she wasn’t in a receptive mood.  “I need someone who is able to speak Portuguese fluently and according to your file, you are the only person I have who fits that description.  It’s only a mere coincidence, I assure you.”

It was Brenda’s turn to lift an eyebrow in his direction.  “Portuguese?  Why would you need someone who can speak Portuguese?  Oh wait, let me guess.  You have this sudden business contract in Brazil and the other businessmen don’t speak English.”  She knew the sarcasm and disbelief were heavy in her voice.

Jax finally stood up and put his hands on the desk in front of him.  He leaned toward her, nodding slightly.  “Actually, there is nothing sudden about it.  I’ve been after this contract for several months.  Like I said, it is nothing but a coincidence that it’s happening now.  And you’re absolutely correct, they don’t speak English and my Portuguese is iffy at best.  Needless to say, I need someone’s help in communicating with them.”

She crossed her arms and stepped back to get a bit further away from him.  “And if I didn’t work here?  Then what would you have done?”

“Hired an interpreter, of course.  I won’t let this deal go.”

“Then pretend I don’t work here,” Brenda replied.  She wasn’t about to get trapped into working side by side with him for the next several weeks.  This was just another ploy to get her closer to him.

Somehow he’d seen that remark coming.  “See there’s where it’s not a coincidence.  I’m not going to pretend you don’t work here.  I want you out front of my office,” he said, his voice turning smooth.  He saw the fire lighting in her eyes again as she went on guard.  “I want you somewhere I can keep an eye on you.”

Brenda let a smile come to her lips and stared at him for a moment.  “You said I wouldn’t be able to turn this down.  So far, you’re not giving me a reason to want the job.”

Jax slid around the desk and stood directly in front of her.  He knew better than to touch her, but he knew just the closeness would get to her.  Grinning, he replied, “Oh trust me, I can give you plenty of reasons, but I thought it would just take one.”  He crossed his arms and leaned his hip against the desk.

She actually laughed at that comment and looked at him where he was standing.  Was he that clueless?  “I thought that’s where you were going and like I said, so far, you haven’t given me a good enough reason.”  She turned on her heel and started for the door.

“Money,” he said simply and watched as she stopped walking.

That hadn’t been the reason she thought he meant.  Confused, she stopped in her tracks, but didn’t turn around.  It reminded her, though, of the deal she’d made with Edward.  Being this close to Jax and his business would get her a whole lot closer to the inside source who was leaking information to Jax.  If she could get that information for Edward in the next few weeks she was working for Jax, she could quit her job, get away from Jax, and move on with her life. 

Finally turning around, she merely waited for him to continue.  “I’ll pay you an additional three hundred dollars a week to do it.  Since I know it’ll take some extra time and effort on your part, I’m willing to compensate you for it.”

“One thousand dollars,” she responded just to see what he would do.

Jax nearly laughed out loud.  “Done,” he replied easily.  It had turned out to be much simpler than he’d thought it would be.  And the look on her face at his agreement had made the entire deal completely worthwhile.

 

Chapter 9

 

 

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