This is an adaptation of Judith McNaught's novel, Double
Standards.
Secrets and Love
Chapter 9
Jax opened the door to his office
and gestured Brenda outside to the second, currently unoccupied desk, across
the reception area from his personal secretary’s desk. “Addie, this is Brenda Barrett. She’s going to be helping me out for the
next few weeks while I settle the Brazil account. Could you help her settle in and have her things sent up from her
own desk? Also, please let Ned know
that his replacement for Miss Barrett will be meeting him in his office at one
o’clock today?”
The older lady nodded
succinctly at Jax and said, “Yes, sir,” in a very proper ‘secretarial’
voice. “Anything else?”
Jax glanced down at Brenda who
was practically seething at his side.
He delighted in seeing the pure fire in her brown eyes. “Actually, yes, when you are finished
showing Miss Barrett around, would you set her up with the letter to
Fernando? I’ll need that translated and
ready to send out by five o’clock tonight.”
“Very well,” Addie responded,
still gazing coolly at Brenda.
Jax waved a hand towards
Brenda’s desk and smiled broadly. “I’ll
check back with you later, then, Miss Barrett.” He started to walk away and then turned back. “Or is it okay if I call you Brenda while
you work in this office?”
Brenda met his aquamarine
gaze. She forced a cool smile to her
lips and said, “Oh, absolutely, Mr. Jacks.”
She watched him nod and stroll casually back into his office, closing
the door behind him. Turning to the
other woman in the office, Brenda saw the older woman leveling her disapproving
stare at her. Trying to be pleasant,
Brenda crossed the short distance between the two desks and held out her
hand. “Nice to meet you, Addie,” she
said politely.
“And you,” came the response
with no smile whatsoever. The hand that
met hers was limp and much like a dead fish in Brenda’s own hand. She could tell the woman was merely
returning the polite gesture.
This is going to be fun,
Brenda thought to herself. Not only was
she working with a man she currently detested, but the woman she would be
working closely with was also not very pleasant. “Well, is there anything I should know about working on this
floor?”
Addie nodded succinctly. She stood from her desk like an army soldier
going to attention. When she walked
quickly to the elevator doors across the hallway, Brenda had to remind herself to
follow behind. Addie gestured to the
buttons below the standard call buttons for the elevator. “This is a numerical entry pad that allows
only the authorized personnel to call for this elevator,” she said as she
pointed to the elevator on the far right.
“The other two elevators operate as normal, but that one is used only by
Mr. Jacks and his guests.”
“Can I ask why?” Brenda
questioned.
“It is so Mr. Jacks does not
have to wait for any other employees in order to use the elevator. It assures him the quickest route up and
down the building.” Addie said it like
Brenda was stupid for even asking, as if the answer was so obvious in the first
place.
Forcing herself not to mutter
something rude under her breath, Brenda followed as Addie showed her the conference
rooms across the reception area from Jax’s office and the women’s restroom
hidden around a corner. Taking in the
number of plants surrounding the entire reception area, Brenda had to ask, “And
are we responsible for watering all the plants, too?”
Addie looked like she was
going to laugh, but held it in at the last second. “Of course not! We don’t
do that up here. These plants are
because Mr. Jacks wants them here and they are watered by the janitorial staff
when it’s needed. Only the lower floors
need to worry about watering plants.”
The way she said the ‘lower
floors’ made Brenda wonder just exactly what world she had just stepped into. It was going to be a very interesting time
working in this office.
The next morning when she
arrived for work, Brenda’s belongings had been sent to Jax’s floor with a note
from Lois. She had simply written, “Good
luck with him!” on the paper she stuck in the box with the rest of her
stuff. Brenda had to smile at Lois’s
sense of humor. She had the distinct
feeling Lois suspected Jax’s reasoning for assigning Brenda to his floor, just
as Brenda herself suspected the same thing.
She silently promised Jax that he would feel even further from her here
than he did when she was six floors below him and not required to speak to him
daily.
Brenda turned her attention to
organizing her desk when the door to his office opened. Jax stood in the doorway and said, “Brenda,
I need you.” Before she even got up, he
was headed back to his desk.
It was all she could do not to
roll her eyes at his tone, though by looking at him, he didn’t look like he was
trying to suggest anything untoward.
She stood up, grabbed a notepad, and followed him into his office
without a word. Once inside, she sat
down in one of the chairs in front of his desk, readying her notepad. Surprisingly enough, Jax had yet to make a
smart comment now that the door was closed.
He was acting completely differently than he had the day before. There was no amused sparkle in his eyes that
indicated he was waiting for her angry response to some flirtatious comment he
made. There was actually no flirtatious
comment. He was showing absolutely no
interest in her as anything other than a secretary at the moment. In fact, now that she was actually looking
at him, awaiting his dictation or whatever reason she was there for, she saw
that he was visibly tired and very pale.
She was just now noticing it as she tried to figure out what had changed
since the last afternoon.
Instead of eluding to anything
other than secretarial business, as she had expected, Jax sat down at his desk
and said, “I need you to take down another letter. I’ll need it translated and sent out by the end of the day. Addie will have the rest of the documents to
go with it.” Almost immediately, he
began dictating the letter to her.
As she recorded the letter,
Brenda tried to figure him out. Maybe
Jax was more professional than he had originally appeared when giving her the
assignment. Could he really separate
work and pleasure, if that was what he was calling it? It appeared so. Maybe working for him wouldn’t be as bad as she had thought. Maybe it was truly about her abilities to
speak Portuguese.
But then, she actually started
to listen to what Jax was dictating instead of just hearing it and recording
it. He was withdrawing the proposal he
had just made the day before. The
letter she had translated just yesterday would now be thrown out and replaced
with this one, as best she could figure.
It was going out to the same people.
When Jax was done with the
dictation, Brenda paused for a few minutes before she got up to go back to her
desk. “Jax,” she started tentatively, “did
something happen?”
In the half an hour it had
taken him to give her the letter, he hadn’t made eye contact with her
once. Now, he finally looked up from
his paperwork and met her gaze. “What
do you mean?”
She almost did a double take
at him as he finally gave her his attention.
He looked terrible, as if he hadn’t slept the night before. His eyes were bloodshot and red and as she
had noticed before, he was considerably paler than his perpetual tan usually allowed. She didn’t comment on any of that,
though. “It’s just that I noticed this
letter would be replacing the one I translated already. Why are you withdrawing the offer now?”
His gaze turned steely. “I’m not entirely sure that’s any of your
concern, Brenda. You weren’t hired to
comment on the business, you were hired to be a secretary and do as I ask and
only that.”
Something had definitely
changed in the last day. She leaned
forward slightly in her seat. “I know
and I apologize if I’m overstepping, but I never thought you were one to back
down from a good challenge. I guess I
thought that’s what this was. I’m just
surprised to see you changing your mind now.”
Jax’s tone didn't change and
neither did his expression. He was
suddenly very cold with her. “Maybe you
just don’t know my business well enough to make that judgment.”
It was clear, with that
statement, that she was being dismissed from the office. She gathered her notebook and left without
another word. She sat back at her desk
and re-read her notes from his dictation.
It was abundantly clear that Jax was suddenly backing off this
deal. She wanted to know why.
At five o’clock, Brenda got
ready to leave for the day. She was
straightening her desk as Addie said goodbye and left. She hadn’t had the chance to put away all of
her belongings yet, so she took a few extra minutes to organize her stuff. Jax was still behind his closed office
door. She hadn’t even seen him since
she had taken the letter down for him.
She glanced at her phone where the red light was indicating he was on
the phone. As she looked at it, the
light flashed off. Jax had hung up the
phone.
Brenda put the picture of her
father and her sister next to her computer monitor and then set the box by the
trash can for the janitor to collect that night with the trash. She started to walk towards the common
elevator to go home when she heard a loud crash from Jax’s office. It had sounded like glass breaking and she
ran to the closed office door. “Jax!”
she shouted through the door. When
there was no answer, she opened it quickly.
There was still no response as
she entered his office. “Jax, are you
okay?” Brenda asked as she crossed the sitting area. Jax was crouched down on the floor, picking up shards of glass
from a bar glass. She walked over to
help him, but he hadn’t answered her yet.
He was diligently picking up the glass and ignoring her completely.
Covering his hands with her
own, she took the larger pieces of glass from his hands and threw them in the
trash can. He continued to pick up the
shards. “Jax, are you okay? What happened?” Brenda repeated. When he didn’t answer her for a third time,
she grabbed his wrists and stopped him altogether. “Jax, stop! Look at me!”
Finally, he raised his gaze
from the floor. “Brenda, let me
go. It’s fine. I just dropped a glass.” His voice had no emotion in it and sounded
strained.
She decided to let him finish
what he was doing and then try to speak to him again. She watched as he finished picking up the largest pieces of glass
and then threw them in the trash with the rest. She finally noticed that his hands were shaking slightly. More concerned than ever, Brenda stepped
directly into Jax’s path. She wouldn’t
let him move around her to the bar to get another glass. “Jax, stop this, please. What is going on? Are you feeling okay?”
Jax didn’t want to talk to
her. He didn’t want to have to give any
details. There were things she didn't
need to know about him. He sighed
wearily and tried to go around her. She
moved into his path and stopped him yet again.
“Brenda, please don’t. I don’t
want to talk about it with you.
Everything is fine.”
She crossed her arms in front
of her chest and met his dull gaze steadily.
“Obviously it’s not.”
He gave up on the bar glass
and went back to his desk, dropping into his leather chair. He was so tired…so tired of it all. “It is fine,” he told her again, his voice
insistent to try to get her to drop it.
“Jax, seriously, I walked in
here almost ten minutes ago to find you picking up glass from the floor with so
much concentration you might have been trying to figure out quantitative math formulas
in your head. I haven’t seen you leave
this office since you got here today.
You withdrew a multi-million dollar deal you just arranged yesterday,
something Jasper Jacks just does not do. You look like you didn’t sleep last night and you are definitely
hiding something. And to top it off,
you have actually gone an entire day without saying anything even remotely
inappropriate to me. Of all things this
is, it is not fine.”
He had to admit, she was very
astute. He hadn’t slept the night
before. He had a raging headache that
he had been getting a glass of water to take aspirin for when he dropped the
glass on the floor. It had slipped because
his hand was too weak to hold onto it.
He could feel his hands shaking even now as he put one to his head and
massaged his temple. “Brenda, I never
thought I would hear you say it wasn’t okay for me to not hit on you for a day,”
he joked weakly.
She saw the smallest smile
cross his features before it was replaced with a grimace of pain. She finally poured him the glass of water he
had been trying to get in the first place.
Setting it on his desk, she put her finger beneath his chin and lifted his
head to look at her directly. Now that
she was this close to him, she noticed his eyes were glazed and unfocused,
whether from exhaustion or pain.
Gently, Brenda put the back of her hand to Jax’s forehead. “That answers one question,” she said
softly, dropping her hand back to her side.
“Come on, I’m taking you home.”
“Now who’s saying
inappropriate things?” Jax asked, the smile returning a little stronger this
time. He took a sip of water, but didn’t
want to take the aspirin in front of her.
It didn’t matter what he was currently feeling like, she was still the
most beautiful woman he’d seen and he didn’t want to show her weakness. He could tell this was a struggle for her, too. Even though she was being perfectly caring,
he could see the thinly-veiled anger she still had for him.
“Ha, ha,” she deadpanned and
reached for his left hand with hers. “Let’s
go, Jax.”
Certainly, he couldn’t let
this opportunity pass him by, could he?
He allowed her to take his hand and stood up. The room spun momentarily and he blinked rapidly to clear his
vision. Brenda lead him from his office
and over to the elevator bank. She
keyed in the code for the private elevator.
She had a feeling he wouldn’t want anyone else to see him like this.
They got through the lobby and
into the parking garage without incident, which was fine with her. She couldn’t very well explain the fact that
Jax’s newest secretary was leading him from the building, holding hands with
him. How would that have looked? Her car was parked on the first level, in
her new reserved spot that her new position had awarded her. She beeped the doors open with her remote
and lead Jax to the passenger side, opening the door for him. He sank down into the seat and looked
grateful to have a place to sit again.
Jax relaxed his head against
the headrest, closing his eyes as he did so.
He heard Brenda get into the driver’s seat and start the car. But they didn’t move. “Um, Jax,” she started.
He didn’t open his eyes. “Yeah?”
“I don’t know where you live.”
“I thought you said you were
taking me home,” he replied.
Brenda blew out her breath
noisily. “I did, and you know full well
I meant I was taking you to your home!” she exclaimed.
“That’s not what you said,
though. I just assumed you meant you
were going to take me to your place. I’m
all for that,” Jax said, opening his eyes just enough to see her
expression. He cracked a smile when he
saw her exasperated look.
Even now, he had that damn
smug look on his face! Fully frustrated,
she reacted, hitting him with the back of her hand in his stomach. “Jasper Jacks, you are sick!” Brenda cried
out. Oddly enough, she wasn’t referring
to his physical condition at the moment.
Her punch was more of a slap,
but it winded him nonetheless. He
should have expected it, he supposed.
Masking the pain with a full-fledged grin, he tried to laugh. It sounded weak, even to him. “Ohhh,” he groaned softly, rubbing the place
she had hit him. He turned his head to
look at her. She had turned and was
staring at the garage wall in front of them, expressionless.
Brenda finally looked at
him. She’d seen his grin and heard him
laugh softly at her annoyance with him.
He was completely infuriating!
But when she looked at him now, she saw the same look she had seen in
his office. He needed to get home and
into bed.
“4255 Riverbank Road,
penthouse apartment,” he said after a full minute of silence while their eyes
met. “Turn left out of the garage. It’ll be about the fourth or fifth stoplight
and then turn right. You can’t miss the
building.”
“Thank you,” she replied
quietly as he closed his eyes and turned his head away from her. She could see he was fading fast now.
Ten minutes later, she pulled
up in front of what turned out to be the highest priced apartment building in
all of Port Charles. There was a valet
attendant who opened her door as soon as she stopped the car. He gestured for her keys, but she waved him
off, telling him she was only going to be dropping off her passenger at his
door and then she would be back to get her car. He nodded and walked to Jax’s door to open it for him. Brenda walked around the car when Jax didn’t
get out immediately. “Jax, we’re here,”
she said, tapping him on the shoulder lightly.
It roused him enough and he got out of the car. She took his hand again and walked through
the door the doorman was holding open for them. The elevator opened as they walked to it, another convenience of
the building staff. The security guard
had pressed the button from his desk as they entered the lobby. Brenda stepped into the elevator with Jax
and noticed the top floor button was already lit. “Some place,” she muttered.
“What did you say?” Jax
asked. He hadn’t been paying attention
to anything except putting one foot in front of the other.
Brenda replied, “Nothing. I just said this is some place where you
live. I haven’t had to lift a finger
since I got out of the car. Must be
nice.”
He smiled and stepped away
from the wall where he had been leaning since the got in the elevator. He took her hand in his again. “You could find out for yourself,” he said
as the chime sounded to let them know they had arrived at his floor.
The elevator opened out into a
hallway with only one door in front of them.
A private entrance for his penthouse apartment, she thought to
herself. This was a whole other world
than what she was used to. Jax was
trying to get his key in the door, but he was struggling with his shaking
hands. She took the key and let him in the
apartment. With the lights off, the
early evening sun was lighting the apartment from the west bank of
windows. Brenda was literally awed at
what she saw.
She cleared her throat and Jax
turned back to her. “Well, my car is
waiting for me downstairs. Are you
going to be okay now?”
To steady himself, Jax leaned
against the doorframe. He looked down
at her worried gaze. “Unless you
actually want to help me get into bed,” he suggested to her. “I could go for that.” He tried to smile again, wondering if it
looked like a smile instead of the grimace he felt.
Brenda rolled her eyes. “Go to bed, Jax. I will see you tomorrow morning.
I hope you feel better.” She
turned and pressed the elevator call button while he still stood in the
doorway.
“I can tell you what would
make me feel better,” he replied as the elevator doors opened and she stepped
onto it. When she turned around and
faced him again, he could see the blush highlighting her cheeks in the fluorescent
lights, all the while she was glaring at him.
He grinned one more time until the doors had closed and she was
gone. Then, he turned, closed his
apartment door, and walked straight into his bedroom, laying on the bed and
closing his eyes without ever removing his clothes.