If I Recall

Chapter 18

The plane trip home was fairly quick for Jax and Brenda.  They spent most of the time just talking quietly and enjoying being in each other's arms on the couch in Jax's plane.  Brenda still worried about what people would think of their reunion and Jax, though he was thinking the exact same things, tried to reassure her as best he could.

When the plan touched down in Port Charles, it was very late.  Jax had his driver drop Brenda off at her cottage and after some brief arguing on her front stoop, he left her for the night with a passionate kiss goodnight.  He went home to his penthouse alone.  Once there, he found several messages on his answering machine, three from Jerry that same day.  One from his mother and a couple from his offices rounded out the bunch.  There was even one from Lois who was concerned about Brenda and wondered if she was with him.  He didn't answer any of them right then, opting instead to deal with them all tomorrow with Brenda.

With Brenda, he smiled at the thought as he got ready to go to bed.  He dressed in his silk pajama bottoms and climbed into his bed, drawing up the covers.  Within minutes, he was dreaming of her again.

The phone was ringing as Jax woke the next morning.  It was early enough that his alarm hadn't even gone off yet.  He squinted at the clock to see the time before he picked up the phone.  At six-fifteen in the morning, there was only one person it would be.  "Why couldn't you wait just fifteen more minutes, Jerry?" he answered gruffly, knowing it would be his brother.  He rolled over onto his back and slowly opened his eyes to the darkened room.

"Because, little brother, you've been missing in action for almost three days now and I needed to make sure you were okay."

"I always am, you know that."

"Yes, but Mum told me she'd have my head if I didn't make sure as soon as possible.  She heard you were in Malibu."

Jax sighed and ran his hand over his face, yawning.  "Great.  What'd she say?"  His entire family knew what he did in Malibu most of the time and they always worried too much when he went out there alone.

"Just that she wanted to know what was wrong and that if you weren't back today, she and Dad were going to come to Port Charles and personally wait for you to come home."

"Please, tell me you're joking."

"Nope, so tell me, Jax, what did happen out there?  Last time I talked to you, I thought you were sending her home."

Jax thought it sounded like Jerry was happy about the fact that he would have sent Brenda home.  "You don't have to sound so happy about it, Jer," he said. 

"You know I'm not.  Not if it doesn't make you happy.  So did you?"

"Did I send her home?  No, I didn't.  She came home with me last night."

"With you?  As in with you with you?  What exactly happened out there, Jax?"

He smiled for the first time since he'd picked up the phone.  He didn't want to talk to Jerry anymore, so he answered cryptically, "Magic, Jerry."  He hung up before his brother said another word.

Jax knew there was no point in trying to go back to sleep now since his alarm would go off in another five minutes anyway.  He was headed back to the office for the first time in almost three weeks, but he wasn't looking forward to it.  He really wanted to be spending the time with Brenda. 

He shook his head at himself as he got out of bed and headed for the bathroom to shower.  He was amazed at how much he was already missing her and it had only been less than twelve hours now since he'd seen her.  It felt like the most natural feeling in the world for him now.  He felt normal again.

Jax was ready to leave his apartment at seven-thirty when the phone rang again.  He answered it, surprised to hear Brenda's voice on the other end.  "Is something wrong, Brenda?"  He wondered why she was calling so early when he knew she was rarely ever up this early.

"What makes you think that?" she asked innocently.

"Just that I've never known you to be awake this early voluntarily," he teased.

"Very funny.  No, I was calling because I wanted to hear your voice."

"Nice try, Bren.  What's really going on?"

"All right, you got me."  She laughed lightly.  "I was hoping you'd have lunch with me today."

"And for that, you called me at seven-thirty in the morning?"

"Well, you're up, aren't you?  And I figured you were going to work and thought I'd catch you before you went in."

"You could have called me there, you know."

"I know, but I didn't want to have to go through Addie and everything else."  She sounded kind of nervous at the prospect.

Jax smiled and leaned against the chair.  "It's okay, I was just kidding, you know.  I would love to have lunch with you today."

"Great!  I'll meet you at the Grille, then, how's that?"

"Perfect."  He hung up the phone a minute later and left to go to the office.

He was standing in the elevator on his way to the top floor where his and Jerry's offices were located when his cell phone rang.  He rolled his eyes and answered it to find his father on the other end of the line.

"Jax, I heard you were back at work today," his father said as soon as he answered.

"Dad, how could you have heard that already?  I just walked in the door two minutes ago."  His family's concern for him was becoming too much very quickly.  "Who called you?"

"All right, so your mother called your brother ten minutes ago.  You know she's just concerned about you."

"Yes, I know," Jax sighed.  The elevator doors opened and he walked out to go to his office.  He passed Addie on his way and rolled his eyes at her, smiling slightly.  He closed his office door behind him as he listened to his father extol his mother's worries to him.

"So, Jerry told us you would be back at work today," John finished.

"I'll have to thank him for that," he said sarcastically.  He was sitting in his office chair, sifting through the pile of mail on his desk.  Addie had sorted it into piles of importance for him.  "What else did Jerry tell you, Dad?"

"He didn't say anything that I know of.  Was he supposed to?"

"No," Jax said quickly.  "Listen, Dad, I have to go, but I did want to ask you a question first.  Would you and Mum be up to a trip out here this weekend?"

"Any particular reason?"

"No, not really.  I just missed having Christmas with you and I wanted to spend some time with you.  Besides, Jerry told me Mum was threatening to come here anyway."

John laughed.  "She was.  I'm sure we can make it out there.  We'll let you know if we can't, how's that?  Otherwise, we'll see you this weekend."

"That's fine.  Goodbye, Dad."  Jax hung up the phone with a sigh and briefly dropped his head into his hands, running his fingers through his hair.  He shook his head and smiled slightly at his family's constant worrying about him.  If they worried about Jerry half as much as they did about him, he'd be happy.  But they didn't and it drove him nuts sometimes.

Before long, Jax was buried in catching up with his work and the morning flew by.  At a quarter to twelve, he stood up from his desk and put the rest of his work in his briefcase.  He told Addie that he would be working from home for the rest of the day.  She promised to forward his calls after one o'clock and he left the building, heading for the Port Charles Grille in the hotel.

Brenda was already in the restaurant before noon.  She was talking to Robin Scorpio, whom she had run into in the lobby while she was waiting for Jax.  Robin had been a good friend of Brenda's for a long time, but she hadn't seen her awhile, so they were catching up a little.  Brenda told her a little of what she'd been doing over the past few weeks, but she didn't mention Jax.  Robin did know that she and Jax had broken off their engagement, but she did not know of the incident in the mountains or what had come of it.  Brenda was unsure of whether to say anything and make it public before she spoke to Jax.  She wasn't sure how comfortable he was with that idea just yet.

Robin was talking about one of her classes when she noticed that Brenda's eyes were no longer on her and that she was smiling a bit more than she had been a minute ago.  She was facing the doorway to the hotel so Robin assumed someone had come in behind her.  She turned to look to see who it was.

Brenda excused herself without looking at Robin and got up to go over to Jax.  He had seen her as soon as he'd entered the lobby, but figured she was talking to someone and he gave her the chance.  But as soon as she'd caught his eye, she got up and went over to him.  He grinned and without even thinking, bent to give her a kiss.  He kept it light and quick, but when they pulled away, he noticed the look he got from Robin indicating she was confused by what had occurred.

"Hi, Robin," Jax said sheepishly, smiling.  His arm was wrapped securely around Brenda's waist as she turned to face her as well.

Robin got up from her chair went over to give Jax a hug and a kiss on the cheek.  "It's good to see you, Jax.  It has been a long time."

"It has.  How've you been?"

"I'm good, but I was just about to leave, so I'll leave you two alone.  Brenda, give me a call when you get some free time and we'll catch up some more."  She gave Brenda a pointed look and a smile that said she wanted answers.  Then, she turned and left the hotel, but not before turning once more and seeing Jax give Brenda another kiss.

Brenda broke the slow, delicious kiss and looked up into Jax's eyes.  "Hi," she said, her voice breathless.

Jax grinned.  "Hi," he responded.  "Ready for lunch?"  She nodded and he led the way into the dining room of the restaurant.  They were seated at a corner table, out of the way of the main room.

They talked for a few minutes about work that morning after they ordered their meals.  When Brenda had finished telling him about the upcoming campaign she had with Lucy, he decided to broach the subject of his parents' visit that weekend.

"Brenda, did you have plans this weekend?" he asked.  She was sitting directly next to him in the curved booth.  He had one arm wrapped around her shoulders while his other hand was entwined in hers.

She didn't lift her head from his shoulders when she answered, "No, none that didn't include you, at least.  Why?"

He smiled and kissed the top of her head first before he answered her.  "I talked to my father this morning."

"Did you tell him about us?"  She felt the shake of his head against hers.  "Why not?  I thought you wanted them to know."  She lifted her head and looked into his eyes.  She was worried that maybe he didn't them to know right away that they were together again.  Maybe they had had a bad response to the break up and he wasn't telling her yet.  Maybe they didn't want her back in their lives, as he had said they did.

"I do want them to know," he reassured her quickly.  "I just wanted you to tell them with me.  That's why they're coming to visit this weekend.  They'll be here Friday afternoon."

Her mouth formed a silent 'oh' as she smiled at him.  She placed one hand against his cheek, laying her palm flat and caressing his face slightly.  Just as she was leaning toward him to kiss his lips, they were interrupted by a clearing of someone's throat directly in front of them.

Jax looked up to see who it was and his eyes dimmed and his smile faded at the sight of his brother.  "Jerry, what are you doing here?"

To their immense surprise, Jerry actually smiled in response.  "I'm meeting Bobbie for lunch.  I didn't realize you'd be here, Jax."  Then, to their greater surprise, he turned his attention to Brenda.  "Hello, Brenda.  You look well."

After she got over her momentary shock, Brenda smiled in return and nodded.  "Hi, Jerry.  You do, too."

Jerry turned to look at the doorway and then turned apologetic eyes to his brother.  "Well, it looks as though my date as appeared.  I will see you later, I'm sure."

"Bye, Jerry," Jax said softly as his brother walked away from the table.  He didn't know whether to laugh or shake his head in wonderment.

Brenda echoed his sentiments when she said, "I don't know whether to laugh or cry, Jax."

"Why?"

"Because he was so nice to me just now.  He was very sweet and I know how hard that must have been for him."

"I know.  I wonder about that, too.  Maybe he's just accepting that I'll be with whomever I want to be with, regardless of what he thinks of it."  With that, Jax leaned over and kissed Brenda passionately.

After their lunch, Jax told Brenda he would be working from home for the rest of the day.  He asked her to come up to the penthouse with him for a little while.  His only reason was that he wanted to spend just a little more time with her before he had to be serious about work again.  He opened the door for her as they got off the elevator and arrived in the hall outside his suite.  The door was closed for all of five seconds when Brenda grabbed Jax's hand and pulled him to her.  She grinned at his look of surprise just before she closed the space between their lips. 

Jax closed his eyes and moved his lips against hers.  He teased her bottom lip with his tongue before slipping it between them and deepening the kiss.  She moaned against his mouth and leaned into his body, making her body flush against his.  He wrapped his arms around her waist and they began to move toward the couches.  Jax lifted Brenda and she wrapped her legs around his waist, bringing them even closer together.  Their kisses deepened as he lay her gently on the couch.  Automatically, his hands began to roam up and down her sides, teasing her gently into a fervor.  Her hands moved to his shirt buttons and began to undo them slowly.  As she pushed it off his shoulders, she moved her lips from his to trace them over his bared chest.  His hands, in return, began to unbutton her blouse and remove it.

Jax threaded his hands into her hair and brought her lips back to his for a sizzling kiss that left them both completely breathless.  Brenda drew away and began to kiss a trail down his neck, her hands moving lower towards his waistline with each kiss.  Suddenly, Jax's thoughts returned to him.  She had surprised him so completely that for the last several minutes, he hadn't been able to form a rational thought.  He sat up and took her hands in his, hating the look of slight hurt he saw flash in her eyes.

"Jax, what's wrong?"  She sounded hurt and a little taken aback at his abrupt ending.

Jax pulled her close to him and into his lap.  He wrapped his arms around her waist and linked his hands together.  "Nothing's wrong, Brenda.  It's just…you know we have to stop."

She sighed deeply, leaning her forehead against his.  "I know, I know."

He raised his eyes to meet hers and smiled.  "Thank you," he whispered.  She grinned and kissed him quickly before retrieving her blouse from the floor.  She handed him his, as well.

Gathering her purse and coat, she kissed him once more.  "I'll see you later, Jax," she said.

"I love you," he said as she closed the door behind her.  He sighed and leaned back into the couch cushions.  He ran his hands over his face and groaned loudly in pent-up frustration.  As he got up to put his shirt on and finally get some work done, he smiled to himself and shook his head at his own thoughts.

Friday afternoon arrived before Jax realized it could.  After a week of catching up at work after missing nearly three weeks and spending as much of his free time with Brenda as he could, he had almost forgotten his parents would be coming that night.  He opened the door to his apartment at six o'clock that night with thirty minutes before they would show up.  Brenda would be there in fifteen.

They had discussed it and thought it was best to confront the issue right away and have Brenda there when they arrived.  That way, the suspense of who it was would be taken out of the equation.  Plus, Jax was sure his parents would be happy to see her.  He thought it would be a nice surprise for them since they hadn't seen her in over six months, more if they counted back to the last time they had been to Alaska to visit them.

Jax put his briefcase on his office table by the door and took off his suit jacket, tossing it over the arm of the couch nearby.  He sat down on the other one after pouring himself a drink.  He wanted at least ten minutes of quiet since he virtually hadn't stopped for the last week.

He and Brenda had alternated spending time out and spending it in, but every night had been something with them.  Whether it was having dinner and seeing a movie or just staying inside and sitting on a couch with their arms wrapped around each other, he had tried to spend as much time with her as possible.  They had even made a double date with Ned and Lois for one night, but it had had to be broken at the last minute when the babysitter for Brooke-Lynn had cancelled.  However, no matter how late it was every night, Jax and Brenda had always separated before one spent the night at the other's home.  She never said anything about it, but Jax knew it was frustrating Brenda that he was making sure it was right.

It was a big step to take in a relationship.  He knew that and it wasn't like it hadn't been a part of their relationship before, but now, it meant their relationship would take on a new quality and go to a new step.  As committed as he knew he was and as much as he knew he loved her, he wasn't sure he was ready yet.  It was the same reason he wasn't even close to considering marriage again with her.  But every day, he knew he came closer and he knew they were getting even closer, if that was possible.

Jax leaned his head back against the couch cushion and closed his eyes for a moment.  Less than two minutes later, there was a knock at the front door.  "It's open," he called out, not moving from the couch.  Brenda was on time, for once.

Brenda opened the door after she heard his voice call out to her.  She grinned when she saw him and approached him on the couch.  He didn't open his eyes, but when she sat across his knees, he wrapped his arms around her, a smile coming to his face.  She leaned down and kissed him tenderly on the lips.  When she drew away, he finally opened his eyes to look at her.

"You look tired, sweetie," she said as she gazed into his deep blue eyes. 

He nodded.  "I am.  That's what I get for missing three weeks of work."  He smiled a half-smile and moved one of his hands to trace a light path up and down her spine.

She shivered involuntarily at his touch and smiled.  "When will your parents be here?"

Jax lifted his wrist to look at his watch.  "In about five minutes."

"So we have some time," she said coyly before she kissed him again, grinning against his lips.

Several seconds passed before Jax drew back.  "We definitely don't have time for that, though, Brenda," he grinned.  Lightly, he moved her off his lap and got up to refill his drink.  He poured a glass of wine and as he was handing it to her, there was another knock on the door.  "They're early," he said.  Leaning down quickly, he gave her one more kiss before he went to the door and opened it to reveal John and Jane Jacks behind it.

"Jax!" Jane exclaimed happily.  She gave her son a kiss on the cheek and a hug.  Jax's father hugged him as well and they all moved out of the doorway.  His parents hadn't seen Brenda in the room behind him yet.

As a result, when Jane finally saw there was someone else in the room, she was surprised that it was Brenda.  But without blinking an eye, she rushed over to where Brenda was standing and gave her a warm hug.  "Brenda, it's so good to see you!  We didn't realize you were going to be here.  Look, John, Brenda's here."  The confusion in Jane's eyes was apparent, but she was doing a good job of covering it.  She was shooting glanced at Jax for an explanation.

Brenda looked to Jax, confused, as well.  "Jax, you didn't tell them you would have company at all?"

Jax had been standing off to the side, watching the whole scene as it unfolded.  He was happy that his parents weren't disappointed to see Brenda even though they didn't know what was going on.  He knew the last they had heard was that he and Brenda had broken up, but they never knew the reasons behind it.  They'd been extremely disappointed to hear it, though.  He shook his head in response to Brenda's question.  "I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Well, it certainly was," John said loudly.  Both of his parents were giving Jax pointed stares.

"All right, all right," Jax said finally.  "Why don't you all sit down and Brenda and I will tell you what's going on?"  He waited until his parents were seated on the couch opposite where he and Brenda chose to sit.  His hand rested lightly on Brenda's thigh as he cleared his throat.

Brenda broke in before he could say anything.  "John, Jane, I know you're confused as to why I'm here, right?  I mean, I know the last thing you heard was probably that Jax and I had nothing to do with each other anymore."  The Jacks' nodded in silence.

Jax took over then, knowing it would probably be better if the explanation came from him.  "Actually, Mum, you should know a little bit of something that's going on here.  Remember you called last week and I told you I was on my way over to Brenda's?  That's partly where all of this comes from.  You both know, because Jerry told you, that Brenda and I were trapped together in that cabin in Canada for about a week.  Well, that was the first time we had seen each other in close to six months."

He took a deep breath.  "Being up there, with nowhere else to go, gave us a chance to talk about what had happened between us.  Now, I know you two don't know what happened and we're going to keep it that way, but I will say that that time in Canada was the first time I had thought about it willingly.  Anyway, while we were up there, we decided to put things back together between us and we started to build back what we once had."  Jax stopped there, unsure how much of the explanation Brenda really wanted them to know.

Brenda placed her hand over Jax's and entwined their fingers together.  "But when we came back here, something happened about a week ago that made us realize just exactly what we mean to each other.  At least for me, that situation made me go after Jax when he went to Malibu."

Jax laughed softly.  "You should have seen her.  The Jacks family has taught her stubbornness well.  She wouldn't leave until I gave in to her."

"Gave in my foot," Brenda muttered loud enough for them all to hear.

Jane stopped them right then.  "You know what?  None of that matters," she said smiling.  "All that really matters is that the two of you have finally found your way back to each other."  She got up and extended her hand to Brenda who took it and stood next to her.  Jane wrapped her in another hug.  "Welcome back to the family, Brenda," she whispered in her ear.

Jax offered his parents both a drink before they went down to the restaurant where they had reservations for dinner.  They had another hour or so before they were sue there so they all caught up on each other in the time they had.

At eight o'clock, they all went to dinner in the Grille.  Brenda and Jane hadn't stopped talking since they'd been given the chance and all Jax could do was sit back and watch and smile.  He and his father shared many exaggerated glances when they couldn't get a word in edgewise. 

Somewhere towards the end of their meal when they were all drinking coffee, Jane glanced at Jax and Brenda.  They were seated close together and Jax had his arm around her, his hand holding hers but leaving one free to drink the coffee.  They had just shared a secret glance that made them both smile and Jane smiled, too.  She couldn't resist her next comment.  "So, when are you two going to think about getting married again?"

Jax and Brenda froze.

 

Chapter 19