If I Recall
Chapter 1
Jasper 'Jax' Jacks fought to keep track of the road during the blinding snowstorm he had the misfortune to be driving through. He gritted his teeth as he remembered why he was on his way up to the mountains anyway.
"Jax, you're going to end up in really bad shape if you continue this way," Dr. Monica Quartermaine told him after she examined him. "Today was just a preview of what could happen to you if you keep this up."
Jax sighed as he buttoned his shirt again. In his mind, he was cursing his secretary, Addie, for calling the paramedics when he collapsed in his office. He knew she was just worried, but he was fine. He'd come to only moments after she'd called, but she insisted that he wait for the doctor's clearance. He'd just felt light-headed when he stood up too quickly from his desk. He hadn't had a chance to eat since…he couldn't remember when now. He'd been so busy trying to orchestrate a recent business takeover, he'd spent nearly every waking moment in his office, sometimes not even taking a few hours to go home and sleep. Home, ha, that was a good one. There was no one there anymore, not since she'd moved all of her stuff out. He didn't need to be constantly reminded of it whenever he walked in the door, so he made that a rare occurrence anymore.
"You need a vacation," Monica told him. "In fact, I am mandating that you take one, starting now. I do not want you back at work until after the New Year. That's two weeks, you hear me? I mean it. I don't want a repeat occurrence of this and that's exactly what's going to happen if you don't begin to relax. I seem to recall you have that cabin up over the Canadian border. I think that would be a very good place to go, don't you?" She left no room for argument. She released him then and sent him home to pack.
Now, he was trying to concentrate on the fact that he couldn't see more than foot in front of him as the snow continued to pile up all around him. He was less than a mile from the cabin now. It was beginning to occur to him that he should be very glad that he had not only driven his Jeep Cherokee, but also that he'd had the good sense to bring more than enough food and supplies, including firewood, with him. He could last for more than two weeks up here if he needed to. He was just sorry he would be missing Christmas with his parents in Alaska.
"You mean, you're not coming?" Lady Jane Jacks asked her son over the phone when he called to tell her where he was going. She sounded a little upset, but understanding.
"You know, you weren't expecting me to anyway, Mum," he replied. "Remember, I've always had other plans for this holiday. You've known since June that I wasn't coming to Christmas there this year."
"Yes, dear, but that was before--"
"I know, but it's not any different now. Just pretend I'm still doing what I was going to do before. You'll still be able to reach me if you need me. I'll have my cell phone with me at all times," he assured her.
"Jax," she warned, "you're not taking any work with you, are you? You told me the doctor specifically told you not to." She was more worried about her son being alone for the holiday than endangering his health any further.
"No, Mum, I'm not taking my briefcase anywhere near the mountains with me."
"Well, take care of yourself, then. Try and take this time to heal all your wounds."
"Thanks, Mum. I love you," he said softly just before he hung up the phone.
It was true, he hadn't been planning on going to his parents' even before this ordered vacation. He couldn't handle it right now. They still wanted to know why she'd left and he just couldn't bring himself to tell them the whole truth. Only his mother knew even a part of what had happened. He wasn't ready to tell her everything just yet.
He was vaguely aware that he had passed an abandoned car a few feet back, but it wasn't until he had pulled to a stop outside the cabin that it occurred to him who the car belonged to. It was a very familiar car and it meant only one thing. She was here, too.
Brenda Barrett unpacked her suitcase in the dresser in the corner of the bedroom. She'd lit a fire a little while ago in the other room and the heat was just now beginning to warm the cabin. She'd only been able to carry this one duffel bag and a bag of groceries with her when she'd had to abandon her car about a mile down the road. Her car had drifted only a few inches to the right and suddenly, she'd been stuck in a huge snow drift. It had been impossible to move the car and since she was so close, she'd hurriedly walked the remaining half a mile to the cabin. She sighed as she silently cursed Kevin Collins for sending her up here.
"Brenda, you need to get away for a few days," her psychiatrist, Kevin Collins, told her. "It's not doing you any good to stay here and try to do your job for Lucy if you can't concentrate on what you're doing. She's been telling me for weeks that you haven't been yourself, even when you're not on the job."
"I can't just leave, though," she protested.
"Why not? Christmas isn't for another week yet. Go for a few days, maybe over the weekend and then come back. You'll see, it'll do you some good to get out of this town for a little while, clear your head."
She left his office a few minutes later, contemplating his words. She could do it, she supposed. They had that cabin up in the Canadian mountains, only a few hours away. The first snows had already come, but it wouldn't be bad up there until after the first of the year. It never was. Maybe it would do her some good to get out of Port Charles for awhile. It had been kind of suffocating the last couple of months, since she'd moved out of the penthouse.
She needed time to think for herself and not be constantly reminded of what had happened. The only problem was she was always seeing something that took her back, whether it was to when they'd been together, or when they'd been apart. Everything in this town reminded her of him. The only solace she found was at her cottage in the outskirts of the city and that was only because he didn't know she lived there, so he'd never been seen it. She was going to do it, she'd only be gone for a few days, five at the most. She'd be home in time to spend Christmas with Ned and Lois, like she was planning.
She wandered back into the main room of the cabin and looked around. There weren't too many reminders up here, either. Neither one of them had been here for over two years. They'd been too busy, mainly with each other, until six months ago. Actually, they had been thinking of selling it this summer when it was warm and the area was beautiful, crisp, and cool.
She hadn't brought her cell phone, but Lois knew where to find her. She'd told her where she was going and Lois and Ned knew where the place was. They'd visited with them a few years ago, before their daughter, Brooke-Lynn was born.
"I think it's a great idea, Bren," Lois said when Brenda told her what she was doing.
Brenda sat on the couch in the gatehouse. "I do, too. I probably should have done it a few months ago, but I thought I could do this and stay here, you know? It's just gotten too hard."
"I can imagine it would be," Lois sympathized. "I remember what it was like when Ned and I were apart and he was living in the main house. It was torture for me to know he was so close. I can only imagine what you're going through."
"The best part of this, though, is that I will be back in time for Christmas, so there's no need to make any different plans. I'm going to leave tomorrow morning, early, and I'll be there by mid-afternoon, I hope. It's only about a four or five hour drive, in good weather."
"It will be good weather, right?"
"Oh, yeah, don't worry, Lois," Brenda assured her best friend. "It doesn't start the blizzards up there until at least January. I'll be fine."
Or so she thought. Now, as she looked out the window, she could tell she'd been a little off. It looked like the first snowstorm of the season was upon her. It had taken her a good seven hours to get up here, the last two were spent creeping along the road, trying to keep track of it. Of course, it didn't help that she'd heard on the radio on the way up here that they were expecting at least two feet of snow in this area tonight and then another foot and half over the next two days. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea.
And then there was the escaped prisoner factor. She'd also heard on the radio that there was a man who had gone over the wall at the state penitentiary two days before. It was less than two hundred miles from this area. He was a convicted attempted murderer, in trouble for a robbery gone bad. She hadn't known about it until she'd been able to pick up a local radio station and they'd given the manhunt update. They didn't think he was headed in this direction, but there was absolutely no way to be sure. She had locked the door behind her immediately after she'd come in and her car was closed safely, as well. Now, all she had to do was try to relax and sort out all of her problems.
Brenda was sitting on the couch facing the fire, staring into the jumping orange flames when she heard a strange thump from outside. It didn't sound like anything she had been hearing for the last three hours that she'd been up here. She knew nature noises, and that was not one of them. Cautiously, she got up and drew the curtain back to peek outside. She couldn't see anything, it was too dark.
Jax closed his car door and shivered in the cold, biting wind. He was forcefully blown against the car when the howling wind picked up speed. He could barely make out the outline of the cabin against the rapidly darkening sky. Slowly and determinedly, he made his way toward the door. He was severely hoping he had been imagining things when he'd seen Brenda's car on the side of the road. No such luck. He could make out the curl of smoke escaping from the chimney of the cabin and knew someone, probably her, was inside.
Brenda grabbed for something heavy, the first thing she could find. Her hand closed around the fire poker and she held it tightly in her clenched fist. She crept slowly to the door and waited, counting the seconds, hoping the door wasn't going to open anytime soon. But it did, and she swung downward, hard. She contacted with something, most likely the intruder's head and heard the dull thud of the person hitting the floor, actually the outside stoop since he wasn't quite inside.
She looked around the edge of the door triumphantly, congratulating herself on defending her home. The man was lying prone on the ground, his feet just over the threshold of the cabin. His heavy boots were caked in rapidly melting snow. The bottoms of his jeans were soaked where the piling snow had clung as he walked. Her eyes continued to travel up his body, making sure he was unconscious and not going to hurt her. Her heart began to sink as she recognized the heavy leather parka the man was wearing. One arm was twisted under him while the other, with a gloved hand was at his side. She dreaded looking into the man's face as she began to realize what she might have done. The shock of blond hair confirmed it for her before she even lifted the scarf from his face where it had fallen. It was him. She had just knocked Jax out cold on the cabin floor.
In the next instant, she flew into action. Quickly, she dragged him inside and closed the door, locking it tightly again. He was frighteningly cold. His cheeks were red and snow was melting from his hair. As gracefully as she could, she brought him in front of the fire place, trying to warm him up. She didn't know what to do next. Should she remove his coat and outerwear? Should she keep him clothed in everything? Should she remove everything that was wet? Deciding rapidly, she took off his boots, relieved to find that his socks were still relatively dry. His jeans were soaked, though, from the bottoms of the legs to the middle of his calves. She thought it best to keep him as fully clothed in dry clothes as she could, meaning she wanted to keep his lower body covered with the portion of the jeans that were still dry, extremely cold, but dry. She unwound the scarf from his neck and removed his gloves, briskly rubbing his hands with her own to get the warmth back in them. Carefully, she unzipped his leather jacket and pulled it off. He was wearing a heavy white cable knit sweater with a black turtleneck underneath. All of which was still dry, thankfully. She combed the clumps of snow from his hair quickly so that it would dry faster.
Brenda stood and gazed down at him lying there, still unconscious and breathing shallowly. Oh God, he had to be okay. There would be no way for any medical personnel to get up here for days. And she certainly didn't know what to do if she had done severe harm to him. She felt so bad for hitting him like that, but how was she supposed to have known it was him? She went over to the couch and grabbed two of the pillows and the blankets that were resting on it. Placing the pillows carefully beneath his head, she covered him with the blankets as fully as she could. She sat down next to him and took his hands in hers again. They were still so cold. She warmed them with the heat from her own hands again, continuing to hold them as she waited for him to wake.
A soft moan interrupted Brenda's thoughts about twenty minutes later. She turned to Jax quickly. His face was contorted in a grimace indicative of the amount of pain he was feeling. He moved one of his hands towards his head, taking it from her hold. Before he opened his eyes, he felt the back of his head and cried out when he touched the lump the poker had left. He began to try to sit up, but she pushed him back down.
"I don't think you should do that just yet," Brenda said softly.
Jax's eyes flew open at her voice. He lay still as he studied her cautiously. His head felt like it was filled with cotton and it hurt like hell. He glanced around the room and saw the few sparse, but warm furnishings. The fire was the only light, so the room was relatively dark. He saw her watching him just as carefully.
"Does it hurt much?" she asked him.
"What--What happened?" he asked softly. He winced as talking made the ache intensify.
"It's all my fault! I'm so sorry! I didn't know it was you, I swear! See, there's this escaped prisoner running around this area and--"
He held up his hand to stop her babbling and then moved his hand to his head, wincing again. "All right, all right, I get it." He closed his eyes once more. A minute later, he opened them again. "I do have one more question for you."
"What?" she asked warily.
"Who are you?"