This is a continuing adaptation of Judith McNaught's Remember When

Feels Like Home

Chapter 17

But I'm all right cause I have you here with me
And I can almost see through the dark there is light

"Wait a minute," Brenda said after a long pause of silence in the room.  "You know who's setting Jax up?  Already?  You told me it would take a week to find that out."

"No," Ned responded.  "I told you it might take a week to find that out.  I just got a phone call a few minutes ago.  Our guy found out sooner than we'd thought he would."  He shook his head.  "Brenda, I thought you'd be happy to hear this."

"I am!  I just wasn't expecting it, that's all."  She turned to Jax who hadn't said a word yet about any of it.  "Jax, this is great!  We know who's doing this to you and we can get your name cleared."  When he still didn't respond to her, she waved her hand in front of his eyes to get his attention.  "Jax?  Hello?  Did you hear me?"

Jax blinked and focused on Brenda again.  "Yeah, I heard you."  He'd been wondering if Ned had the same name that he already knew was doing it.  Surely Ned's contacts weren't that good.

"Well?" Brenda prodded.

"Well what?"

"Isn't it good news?"  She looked exasperated and finally just shook her head, turning her attention back to Ned.  "So, tell us already, Ned!  Who's behind this setup?"

Ned sat down on the chair that faced the couch Brenda and Jax were sitting on.  He looked at Jax sincerely before he took a deep breath.  "Jax, I'm sorry, man.  I don't know how to tell you this."

"Tell me what, Ned?"  Suddenly, he wasn't so sure that Ned didn't know what was really going on.

"The name our private investigator turned up was your brother's.  Jerry's definitely behind this whole scheme."

Jax breathed a sigh of relief that he was sure Brenda wasn't interpreting that way.  She had moved closer to him on the couch and put her hand on his in a sign of comfort.  He wiped his hand across his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger.

"Honey, I'm so sorry," Brenda said softly.  While they'd been thinking it for a week, this was the first they'd heard that actually confirmed it for them.  Plus, she had never told Jax her suspicions about Jerry.  She knew it had to hurt him to hear it said.

Jax moved his hand and looked straight at Ned.  "Tell me what you know, Ned," he said quietly.  He had a feeling the information Ned had would fill in the blanks of what he knew to be true.

"Robert Norton was hired by your brother when he worked for you for that one week.  Since that time, it seems that Jerry had been biding his time, waiting for the perfect company or perfect time to set you up for this to happen.  He already had Norton in place, so it was easy enough to carry it all out once he had it planned.  It appears that Jerry paid Norton to make the bid on Jacobson Electronics based on information Jerry himself had fed him.  The one connection there is that Jerry's wife is a secretary at Jacobson.  He must have used her to get information about the financial situation and then given that information to Norton."

"Then what about that name on Norton's application?" Brenda asked when Ned had finished.

"Steven Burrecema?  It didn't turn up anything.  I guess it was just a false name."

Jax got up from the couch in a swift movement.  He recognized the name immediately.  All it did was confirm what he'd already been told.  He walked over to the window and looked out for a few seconds before he asked, with his back still turned, "Ned, can I be alone with Brenda, please?"  He crossed his right arm over his chest and propped his bandaged left hand under his chin.

"Of course," Ned readily agreed.  He gave Brenda a small supportive smile before he left and closed the office door behind him.

Brenda got up and watched her husband for awhile.  He had bowed his head and seemed upset by the news Ned had given them.  She walked over to him and put her hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.  "I'm sorry, sweetie," she said again.

"For what?" he mumbled in return, still lost in thought.

She came around to face him and lean against the window he was looking out of.  He didn't meet her eyes.  "For not telling you that I already suspected Jerry in this."

She thought he blamed her, he thought.  She thought he was upset with her for keeping that from him.  "Brenda, I already knew you did."

"You did?"  He nodded mutely.  "Did you suspect him?"

"No," Jax answered honestly.

"No?"  She sounded confused.  "How could you not?"

He sighed.  "No, I never suspected Jerry of anything.  I knew he was involved."

"You knew?!" Brenda exclaimed.  "Jax, if you knew he was doing this then why didn't you say anything?  We could have--"

"Done what?  Told the DA?  Gotten my name cleared?"

"Yes!"

"It wouldn't have worked, Brenda.  They never would have believed that story."

"Why not?"  He seemed like he'd had it all worked out and he was planning to take the blame for something Jerry did.  She couldn't believe he was saying it.

"Because they would have investigated and found out that Jerry did not have the means to do this to me."

"I don't get it."

Jax met his wife's eyes for the first time since Ned left the room.  He didn't move any closer to her, in fact, he moved further away from her.  Looking briefly at the ceiling, he knew he had to tell her the whole truth.  All of it, this time.  "Jerry has almost no money to his name, Brenda.  Remember I told you that his wife was taking him for it?  So how is it possible that he could pull together enough money to pay this Norton guy to set me up?  And how is it possible that he was able to get his wife to get all this information for him?"

"Why wouldn't she?"

"Because what Ned's investigator forgot to find out was that Jerry's wife hasn't worked for Jacobson Electronics for over three years.  And any information she would have gotten three years ago would have been out of date and obsolete."

Brenda held her hands up and shook her head.  "Jax, wait!  Stop it.  How do you know all of this?  How do you know it wasn't Jerry who did this to you?"

He took a deep breath and paused for a long time before he continued.  "Look, Brenda, I'm telling you everything I know.  And trust me, you're not going to like it when I do tell you all of it.  But please, promise me you'll listen to me.  Hear me out and then make your decisions.  Okay?"

"Jax, I--"

"Promise me, Brenda," he insisted.

"Okay, I promise," she said.  She could tell whatever it was meant a lot to him and it meant even more that he was going to tell her.  She had a feeling he was right, though.  She wasn't going to like it.

"I do know who did this to me.  And I know why.  It wasn't Jerry, but he did help."  He ran his fingers through his hair and then met her eyes once more.  "Before you came in here, when I threw that paperweight, I got a phone call.  It was the investigator I hired four days ago to look into some things for me."  He saw the look on her face and knew she wanted an explanation.  "I couldn't tell you, Bren.  Not then.  There are some things you don't know about that I had to know if they had something to do with this."

She recognized the pleading look on his face and saw how much it had been tormenting him.  "And did they?"  He nodded in response and for the first time, she could see him blink back moisture from the corners of his eyes.  She saw shame on his face and wondered where it was coming from.

"Yeah, they did."  He let out a shaky breath.  "Brenda, ten years ago, I did something I'm not proud of."

Immediately, she thought she knew what he was talking about.  "Jax, it's okay.  We've discussed that.  I've forgiven you for leaving without saying goodbye.  You know that."

He nodded.  "Yeah, I know you've forgiven me.  But other people haven't, Brenda."

"I don't get it," she said again.

"I know you don't and I was hoping I'd never have to tell you.  But then all this happened and you came back into my life and it was only a matter of time before it all caught up with me again."

"What caught up with you?"

"What happened the night before I left without saying goodbye to you."

"What happened?" Brenda asked quietly.

Jax hung his head and looked at the floor for a minute before he turned and walked away from the window and to the other side of the room.  He stood still for a moment, burying his head in his hands.  Finally, he looked up, but he couldn't meet her eyes.  "I was accused of rape, Brenda."

She'd heard his voice break over the words and saw how close he was to the verge of breaking down.  "Oh my God," she breathed.  She walked quickly across the room to stand next to him and moved to take him in her arms, but he flinched away from her touch.  He continued as if nothing had happened with her.  It was as if he was talking to no one and he stared off into space as he spoke.

"She came down to visit me in the barn that night.  I was just finishing up my chores and you'd already left a few hours before.  We'd talked a few times before, but nothing really serious.  After awhile it seemed clear that she was upset about something and then out of nowhere, she tried to kiss me.  I pushed her away, told her no.  I did everything I could to get her to stop, but she wanted it.  She was crying and then she was pushing back at me and I don't really know what happened next.  She yelled at me and I asked her to leave.  Finally, she did.  And later that night, Stefan Cassidine came down to see me, got me out of bed.  He told me he knew what had happened, called me a few choice names, hit me a few times, and then laid it on the line.  I was given two choices.  I could be arrested and put in prison, or I could leave, without a trace, and go somewhere that no one would find me.  I wasn't given the chance to explain anything to anyone, not that anyone would have listened to me anyway."

"Who was the girl, Jax?"

"Katherine Bell," he answered softly.  "You remember her, I'm sure.  She was Stefan Cassidine's fiancée ten years ago.  Kind of pretty, short with short blonde hair."

"I remember her," Brenda confirmed.  She'd known Katherine pretty well considering her only connection was through Stefan's sister.

"She's the one who accused me and Stefan believed her."  He seemed to break from his daze then and turned piercing blue eyes on Brenda.  He looked her straight in the eyes, holding her gaze without blinking.  "Would you have believed her, Brenda?"

His voice was cold when he asked her, almost as if he was accusing her, too.  She met his eyes and said, without hesitation, "No.  I wouldn't have believed her, Jax."

Jax was taken aback by her answer, as if he hadn't been expecting her to say that.  "You wouldn't have?"  His voice was faltering.

"No, absolutely not," Brenda said firmly.  She walked towards him again.  "Jax, did you expect me to say I would?" she asked, puzzled.

"I--I don't know.  I guess I thought--" he stumbled and she interrupted.

"You thought wrong, sweetheart."  She put her hands on his shoulders, coming closer.  "I may not have known you all that well then, but I know you would never have done such a thing to any woman.  You would never do such a thing."

"No, I wouldn't have.  And I swear to you, Brenda, as God is my witness, I did not do it."  His tone was firm.

"You don't have to convince me."  She gazed up at him.  "But are you trying to convince yourself of that?"

Jax felt his shoulders sag as he started to relax.  He hadn't been expecting Brenda to take it well at all.  He didn't know why, but it was the reason he had been dreading telling her all this time.  He'd never wanted to have to tell her.  He hated to think about it.  It made him angry to think of it, of the injustice that was done to him.  He'd never forgiven Katherine or Stefan for doing it to him.  And they'd never forgiven him.

He answered Brenda.  "No, I'm not.  I know I didn't do it.  But they forced me to leave anyway. You know how powerful Stefan's family was.  They could have had me arrested without any evidence, and there wasn't any."

"So you left."

He nodded.  "Without saying goodbye to you.  For that, I will always be sorry, Bren."

"I know, but you know what?"

"What?"

"I forgive you," she said as she smiled up at him.  She moved her hands to clasp them around his neck and give him a tight hug, but she didn't feel him respond to her or receive her hug.  "Jax, what's wrong?" she asked as she pulled away.

"What you said, that's the whole point."

"What is?"

"That Stefan and Katherine have not forgiven me.  I would have thought that after ten years had passed they would have let it go, but obviously, they haven't."

"What do you mean?"

"You may not know, but Katherine did marry Stefan.  Together, they run the Cassidine estate now.  Between the two of them, they sit on the board of nearly every major corporation in this country.  Including Jacobson Electronics, or what used to be."

"Jax, are you saying what I think you're saying?"

He nodded.  "Probably.  Stefan Cassidine was the Chairman for Jacobson, which I forgot about or didn't know about when I signed the papers to buy it."

"But how is it possible that he would set you up when you bought his company?"

Jax shook his head.  "It wasn't Stefan's company, he just controlled its board.  But he did run a company I took over two years ago, H&M Incorporated in Greece.  It was another computer company that produced networks, but the point is, I took it from Stefan."

"On purpose?"

He almost laughed.  "Of course it was on purpose!  I don't do it unless I know what I'm doing.  See, I took that company.  Me, personally.  I do it every once in awhile just to stay in the game, it's just something I do."

"Why'd you do it this time?" Brenda asked.  "Wait, let me guess.  Because it belonged to Stefan."

Jax shrugged.  "Basically."  He looked down at the stern look on Brenda's face and nodded.  "I know, I know.  Looking back on what it's cost me, it was a stupid thing to do.  I guess, when you look at it that way, I started this whole thing."  He sighed.  "Anyway, now that I think about it, Jerry asked to work for me about a month later."

"Which is when he hired Robert Norton."

He nodded.  "And we're right back where it all started."

"So Jerry hired Robert Norton to set you up on Stefan's command because you stole the company that belonged to Stefan.  And the vendetta he holds against you dates back ten years ago when he forced you to leave the ranch."

"How is it possible that you just summed up a two hour conversation in two sentences?" Jax asked.

Brenda shrugged.  "There's one thing I still don't get, though."

"What's that?"

"Who is Steven Burrecema?"

Jax nodded.  "One of Stefan Cassidine's many aliases.  Steven, Stefan.  And the last name is made up of the letters that come before Cassidine in the alphabet, consonant for consonant, vowel for vowel.  Pretty clever, huh?"

She didn't miss the cutting sarcasm on his voice.  "I guess so."  A long silence followed.  "So what do we do now?" Brenda asked.  "Now that we have all this information, how can we not go to the police with it?"

Jax sighed and finally moved back over to the end of the couch and sat down heavily.  He leaned his head on his left hand and closed his eyes wearily.  He shook his head.  "I don't know.  I don't know what to do now."

Brenda sat down next to him, laying her head on his shoulder and putting her hand on his leg.  They sat together for a long time, neither saying a word, just thinking.  After awhile, Brenda could feel Jax's breathing begin to slow and she shook his leg. 

"Jax," she said.

He jumped at the motion he hadn't been expecting.  "What?"  He opened his eyes and looked at her.

As tired as he'd looked before it all started, she could tell he was exhausted now.  He hadn't slept the night before and she figured out it was probably because everything he'd told her had kept him awake.  She gave him a pointed look when he looked confused as to why she'd shaken him.  "You almost fell asleep right here, Jax.  Don't you think you should maybe go to bed?"

He shook his head.  "I can't.  I have to do something about this."

"And what are you going to do?"  He was silent as he thought about it, but nothing came to mind.  "See?  You're too tired to even think about it right now.  Jax, please?  Go to bed.  This will all be here when you wake up, you know it will."

"I know, that's what I'm afraid of," he said softly.  He took her hand when she got up from the couch as she pulled him to his feet.

After Brenda had put Jax to bed in their bedroom, she went back into the living room where, surprisingly, Ned and Harlan still waited for her.  Gloria and Lois had been out all afternoon and weren't due back for another few hours yet.

"So what's going on, Brenda?" Ned asked when she entered the room.

She grabbed her keys and purse and headed for the door, flashing them both a smile.  "I'm getting the charges dropped against my husband," she said lightly as she walked out the door.

 

Chapter 18

 

Song excerpt: Feels Like Home by Chantal Kreviazuk and can be found on the Dawson’s Creek Soundtrack.

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