"Hanging On"

Chapter 7

Two days later, as promised, Jax was to be released from the hospital. Brenda woke early and went to check on him. He was wide awake already and eating his breakfast, or at least, trying to. He choked down the hospital's pitiful food because he knew that Brenda would make him and he didn't want to argue with her. He was in a good mood finally. Brenda was sure it was because he knew he was going home.

He'd been through two days of hell. First, there'd been Jody and her insane babble and teaching ways. Jax still didn't like her, and Brenda knew why now. She'd put him through torture once he'd gotten on his feet. She made him practice over and over again how far each step was with the crutches and how he was supposed to count everything. She was driving him nuts, not to mention what all the strain was doing to his ribs. Every time she left now, Jax would lie on the bed, breathing hard, and try to go to sleep to ease the pain. Then, they'd seen Andrew three more times, as well. He had Jax out in the hallways, practicing everything Jody had taught him. Brenda participated more with Andrew than with Jody. He taught her how to keep a hold of Jax's arm, but not lead him. Needless to say, Jax slept hard at night.

Brenda came back to the room to get Jax's things. Joe followed her in. He wasn't too happy with the fact that Jax's ribs hadn't healed as much as they should have. When he told Jax this, his face fell. He was sure Joe was going to tell him couldn't go home because of it.

"I'm still going to release you," Jax's face brightened considerably, "but only under the condition that when you get home you stay in bed as much as possible. I don't want you moving and putting strain on your ribs anymore than you have to. I know you did it here because we told you to, but now we're not telling you to. Brenda, I want you to make sure he follows these orders."

"Don't worry, I will." She smiled broadly. She was as excited as Jax was. She was so tired of the hospital rooms, the smells, and the atmosphere all together. If she never saw another hospital after today, it would be too soon. Joe signed the forms to release Jax and Brenda signed them, as well. He took them to the nurses' station and the process was complete. One of the nurses came back with a wheelchair and they helped Jax out of bed and into it. He was wearing a baggy t-shirt, a pair of sweatpants split up the side to allow for the cast, a pair of dark sunglasses Brenda had brought him, and a huge grin.

Brenda carried his things as they walked to the doors. They passed through the sliding doors and arrived at the waiting car. Brenda had borrowed Lois's four-door BMW, thinking it would be easier for Jax to get into than her own Porsche. She hadn't dealt with the insurance company yet for Jax's Mercedes. The nurse stopped the wheelchair at the open car door and they helped Jax to stand. He turned to sit on the backseat and then scooted backwards until he was against the far door. Brenda closed the door and thanked the nurse. She came around to the driver's side and getting in, placed the things in her hands on the seat next to her.

Jax heard her get in and said, still smiling, "Free at last, free at last, thank God in Heaven, I'm free at last!" He grinned towards the front seat and Brenda laughed.

"You're enjoying yourself immensely, I see."

"You would be, too, if you'd just been sprung from Hell." Brenda laughed again and began the drive to the Port Charles Hotel. They would be staying in the penthouse since it was easier to get around. With the elevators and few steps, it would be more suitable than Brenda's cottage.

Ten minutes later, Brenda pulled up to the front of the hotel. The valet opened her door and she got out. She picked up Jax's things from the seat and went around to open the door. She opened the right door to the backseat and, just as he'd slid in, Jax slid himself back out. He sat on the edge of the seat and Brenda handed him the crutches. He used his own strength to pull himself up and groaned as he stood. He took one step away from the car and Brenda shut the door. She handed the keys to the valet and when Jax had backed away far enough, the valet took the car to the garage.

Brenda placed her hand on Jax's elbow and moved with him inside. She noticed the looks they were getting from the guests and hotel staff. She chose to ignore them. Jax had his mouth set in a hard line and he was determined to make it to the elevators without asking for any help. He swung himself slowly across the lobby and when they got to them, Brenda pushed the button for the elevator. They were fortunate enough to get one without anyone trying to get in, probably because of what they looked like together. Jax leaned back against the wall of the elevator and smiled at Brenda. He reached out for her hand and she put hers in his.

"Home, huh? I guess you figured the cottage was too much?"

"Only slightly, my dear. I mean, unless you wanted to kill yourself getting up my stairs."

He grinned at her sarcasm. "No, I already tried that. It didn't work. It must not be my time to go." The elevator came to a stop and Brenda stood against the doors to keep them open. Jax swung out the few steps to the door and Brenda walked over to open the door. She stepped back as he went into the apartment.

He took two steps and directed himself to the right, to skirt the table in front of the door and the couch behind it. He had every intention of getting himself to the opposite couch by himself. He was sure he knew the apartment well enough.

Brenda stood back, but always within one step of him. She knew he wanted to do this by himself.

He took one more step and as he moved his crutches past the table, his left one clipped the leg and he stumbled. Brenda stepped up quickly to help him, but he shrugged her off. He was balanced precariously on his right crutch, but he quickly recovered. He stepped confidently and threw a smug glance over his shoulder at Brenda. She sighed in frustration at his stubbornness. If he was going to keep this up, she may kill him herself, even if it wasn't his time to go.

The second chance came a second later. Jax was moving past the coffee table when his crutch caught the leg again. This time Brenda was slightly too far behind and he lost his balance all together. He dropped the wayward crutch when it happened and yelped in pain as the other one went into his ribcage. The pain came so quickly he lost his grip on the only thing holding him up. Brenda had her arms around him, but he was already falling.

He ended up on the floor next to the couch and Brenda was kneeling next to him. He lay face down and his left arm crossed under him to hold his side where the crutch had hit his side. His eyes were shut tight with the pain and he was breathing hard. His shoulders shook as he let out his breath. Brenda thought he was trying to hold back tears, most likely of frustration. She put her hands on his shoulders and gently rubbed them. He shrugged her off again, and she knew he was angry with himself. She sat back on her heels and waited until he was ready.

He remained where he was for several minutes, every once in awhile a sharp expletive would escape under his breath. His breathing slowed and he released his hold on his side. He turned his head to Brenda, finally. "I'm sorry." It was all he said, but he knew she heard everything he meant in it.

"It's ok, I understand." She smiled at him and put her hands back on his shoulders. He heaved a sigh and decided it was time to get up off the floor. They figured the best thing to do would be for him to roll over on his back and let Brenda help him up. He got into a sitting position and took a deep breath. He knew the pain would only get worse when he tried to stand now.

Before she moved to help him, Brenda straddled his good leg and sat down. "You know I love you, right?" She took his face in her hands and put her forehead against his.

He sighed against her. "Yeah, I know you do. And I love you." He pounded the floor next to him. "This is just so frustrating! I can't stand not being in control of this, Brenda."

"I know. You don't like to be dependent on other people, but things like this happen. And look at it this way, at least you've got me as your help, right?"

He smiled for the first time since the elevator. "You're right. I couldn't ask for a better nurse, could I?"

"Nope." She kissed him then. It was the first real kiss they'd shared since the accident and it was filled with every passion they'd felt since.

When they finally broke apart, Jax was breathing hard again. "Now I know why you didn't do that to me in the hospital." He grinned. "The nurses would have come to see what was putting me into cardiac arrest."

She laughed with him. Then she got up into position to help him get off the floor. He brought his left leg up to his chest and planted his foot on the floor. When he nodded, Brenda lifted with all her strength as he helped with his leg muscles. Amazingly enough, they did it on the first try. She quickly grabbed one of his crutches so he could stabilize himself. Picking up the other one, she handed it to him. He stood for a minute, trying to catch his breath. He took a few deep breaths and leaned towards where he knew Brenda was standing. She leaned to him and kissed him again. Then she stepped over to the coffee table and moved it backwards so he would have enough room to get to the couch.

Finally, he fell to the couch with a sigh of relief. He moved to lay against the arm and put his legs up on the cushions. Brenda took the pillows from the other couch and placed them under his cast. He took the sunglasses off and threw them to the coffee table, where he heard them hit and fall off. He sighed again and smiled slightly. It was definitely going to take some getting used to.

"All right, I'm done." He looked triumphant as he spoke.

"Good, cause you're not supposed to move anymore today." Brenda's voice sounded stern, but there was a hint of laughter in it.

"But what if I have to…" he raised his eyebrows at her and smiled.

"Then, we'll deal with that then, but until that time, you are not moving." She knelt next to him and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "I'm going to go get something to eat. Are you hungry?"

"Are you cooking?"

"Of course…not!"

"Then, yes, I'm hungry." She laughed at him and went to pick up the phone and order room service. She turned to ask him what he wanted her to order for him, but when she looked, he was breathing deeply. He had fallen asleep.