"Hanging On"

Chapter 14

Jax continued, "Brenda?" He just knew he had to be seeing her. The last time he'd looked that form was not there. And it was getting somewhat sharper around the edges.

In that instant, Brenda forgave him for everything he had said earlier in the day. "I'm here, Jax." But she didn't move. She didn't know for sure if he could see her yet.

The voice came from the direction he was looking and he reached out his hand to her. When the figure began to move, he knew it was her.

She saw the realization hit him when she got up. The smile that spread across his face was more excited than any she'd ever seen before in her life. He could really see her! She crossed the room and took his hand, kneeling before him in front of the couch.

"What do you see, Jax?"

"I see you. I mean, I can't see your face, but I know you're there. I can see your shape."

"My shape?"

"Yes, my love, your shape, and it has never looked more beautiful to me." He took hold of her then and pulled her across his chest. She settled length-wise across him with her legs between his. He moved towards the face he knew was hers and kissed her.

When they broke apart, Brenda was breathless. She continued to stare at Jax and look into his eyes.

A look of contrition passed over his face then. "Brenda, I'm sorry."

"What could you possibly have to be sorry about?"

"Earlier. I didn't mean it. I didn't say what I wanted to say and I know you were only concerned."

"Jax, it's okay. I understand now."

"It's not okay. I shouldn't have done it and I'm sorry."

She kissed him deeply. "Trust me, I forgive you."

They lay like that for several minutes. Jax continued to try to see more than just her form, but he couldn't. It was just a dark spot in an otherwise bright picture. A dark spot shaped like a person. But he could see it and he had never been happier.

After awhile, Brenda got up off the couch. Jax was momentarily surprised. "What do you want to do today, Jax?"

He reached for her again, but she backed up a few steps to avoid his arms. "Well, apparently you're not going to let me do what I want to do."

"You're the one who said you weren't up to it yet."

He sighed. "I know, but it was worth a shot. Besides, I would like to see you first."

"So, since that's out," she grinned, "then what do you want to do?"

"How about we go outside?" He reached for his crutches and swung his legs around.

"Oh, Jax, are you sure about that? What about the sun?"

"I have to get used to it sometime, don't I?" He picked up his sunglasses and slid them on his face. Standing he began to make his way for the kitchen doors. Brenda accompanied him outside and when he was settled in a lounge chair, she raced to the bedroom to change into a swimsuit. She needed something that was going to distract her from her thoughts about Jax.

Two hours later, Brenda hoisted herself out of the pool. A quick glance at Jax told her he was sleeping. He still wore his sunglasses, so she figured he'd be okay. She went inside to fix them a late lunch and brought it out on a tray.

Jax heard the doors open when she came back outside and saw the same form walking towards him. He smiled in recognition.

"I've missed that, you know?"

"Missed what?"

"You, looking at me like that."

He smiled again. "Yeah, me too. I've missed seeing you at all."

She grinned and set down the tray. She handed him a plate and they began to eat.

Shortly after she had cleaned up their lunches, Brenda was back in the pool, but only swimming leisurely. Jax had asked her to turn his chair towards the ocean and he was listening intently to the sounds of the crashing waves. How much he wouldn't give to be out on those waves. It'd be a long time for that one, though, he knew.

As Jax stared out over the ocean, he swore he saw something. It looked like a glittering, but it was so brief he wasn't sure he hadn't imagined it. It was almost as if he could see the sun on the ocean. He sat motionless looking for it again. He saw it again.

"Brenda!"

She quickly pulled herself out of the water and ran to his side. "Jax, what is it?"

"I saw something!" He couldn't contain his excitement.

"What? What'd you see?"

He turned to look at her for a second before he turned back out over the ocean. "I saw the sun."

"Umm, Jax, you've seen the sun, we knew that."

"No! I mean, I saw the sun on the ocean. It was only for a second, but I saw it."

"What do you mean?"

"I saw the sun glint off the water. I swear I saw it, Brenda!"

She moved to sit by him. Straddling his left leg, she leaned into his chest and kissed him. "That's wonderful, sweetie."

Jax pulled her even closer and kissed her again. They began a passionate game that took every ounce of Brenda's restraint to stop.

"Jax, you know better." She warned him playfully.

He gave her a pleading look and she laughed. She figured it couldn't hurt to play a little longer. He broke the next kiss only long enough to say, "I promise, I won't try anything more than I can handle, okay?" She quickly nodded and captured his mouth again.

Jax's hands roved over her back as hers encircled his neck. He played with the strings on her bikini teasing her into thinking he was going to pull on it. He was intent on becoming reacquainted with every inch of her body. It had been so long since she had been in his arms so completely like this. He broke off from her mouth and continued kissing her along her neck. She arched her back to him and then began to nip at his ear. She was enjoying this as much as he was.

Jax finally pulled the string to her bikini top and she pulled away. He looked momentarily surprised and reached for her again quickly. She pulled back further and reached around to tie the strings again. "Jax, come on. You know if we don't stop now, we won't stop."

He leaned his head back on the chair and sighed. "Who says that would be such a bad thing?"

"Your doctors, me, and even you said it not too long ago."

He closed his eyes in frustration. "I know, you're right." He sighed again and felt her get up. He opened his eyes and tried to follow her wherever she was going. He heard her dive gracefully into the pool again. Closing his eyes again, he was soon asleep.

Hours later, Jax was settled in the bed while Brenda read quietly in a chair next to him. He was tired and knew he should go to sleep, but he didn't want to. Finally, exhaustion overtook him and he fell asleep.

Brenda finished her book and then got ready for bed herself. She climbed in and shifted to lay next to him. His arm automatically encircled her waist and she lay her head on his chest. She was asleep almost as soon as he had been.

The next morning, Brenda awoke first. She got up quietly and went to make coffee in the kitchen. She made a quick phone call to Lois to check in about L&B business. Then she called Jax's parents. Jane was upset that they weren't in Port Charles anymore and John was understanding. They wanted to know when Jax and Brenda would be home. Brenda didn't know what to tell them. Now that Jax was getting his sight back, she didn't think he would want to leave until he had done it completely. She told John and Jane that they might be back within a week. They weren't too happy, but figured they had no choice in the matter. They were going to stay in Port Charles until Jax and Brenda returned.

Brenda sighed when she hung up the phone. Somehow she knew that Jax would have handled that much better than she had. She poured a cup of coffee and went back upstairs. Jax was still asleep.

She shed her robe and stepped into the shower. She spent a long time just standing under the streaming water. When she was finally done, she wrapped herself in a towel and went into the bedroom.

Jax stirred when he heard the bathroom door open, but didn't open his eyes. He turned his head and slowly looked up. He was stunned by what he saw.