"Hanging On"

Chapter 10

Jax fell asleep awhile later and Brenda left the room quietly. She decided to call Lucy and talk about he new campaign she wanted to see about doing. Brenda was excited over her idea, but hadn't had time to talk to Lucy recently because of the L&B concert planning she and Lois had been trying to do.

She talked to Lucy for almost an hour and when she finally hung up, she was exhausted. Talking to Lucy was like talking to the Energizer Bunny. She checked on Jax and found him asleep still. Not knowing what else to do, Brenda picked up a book, turned on some music, and sat down on a couch to read.

Forty-five minutes later, she heard what sounded like Jax calling her name. She ran to the bedroom to see if he needed something. She opened the door and he was already sitting up in the bed. He was gingerly touching his chest and wincing.

"Jax? What's wrong?"

He took a quick breath and his face contorted as a pain went through him. In between breaths, he said, "I don't know. I just woke up and I couldn't breath." He winced again. "It hurt…a lot."

She went to the bed and removed his hands from his chest. She pushed gently on his shoulders to make him lie down. He tried to slide down the bed and eventually he put his head back on the pillow. His breathing had slowed somewhat, but he was still in obvious pain. She didn't know what else to do. She got an idea and raised his head from the pillow. She quickly grabbed the two pillows out from under his head and gently lowered him flat on the bed.

She waited a few minutes to see if it was any better. His breathing was almost normal by then, but every once in awhile his mouth would turn up in pain and he would grab for her hand, gripping it hard.

When he took a deep breath, she finally dared to ask him, "What happened?"

"I don't know. One minute I was asleep, the next I was awake and in a considerable amount of pain."

"Do you know if you did something in your sleep? Did you dream about it again?"

He nodded and sighed. "If that's my punishment for dreaming about that accident, I promise I'll never do it again."

Brenda made him promise to lay still while she called Joe. He did and she returned a few minutes later. "I talked to Joe and he said it was most likely caused by panic, probably from your dream. You started breathing hard and disrupted your ribs more than usual. He said the pain should pass, but he was also going to call in a prescription for you."

"I'm okay now, I think. I don't need any pain pills."

"But I would feel better if we at least had them here. I mean, what if it's worse the next time? I don't want you to have to be back in the hospital, Jax."

"I don't either, and I have no plans of being there again." He relented. "All right, get them, but I am not taking them."

"Whatever you say, honey. There was one other thing Joe said."

"What was that?"

"You are not allowed to move from this position for the rest of the day. He said it was a good thing to make you lie flat and he wants you to stay that way."

"Are you serious?"

"Very much so. You are not to move at all, Jax. I mean it, and if I have to stay in here all day to make sure you don't, I will."

She got up from the floor then and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.

"Are you sure he said we can do that?" Jax was being petulant now and didn't like this idea at all.

"Jax…" her tone was warning him not to start and his face was immediately contrite.

"Sorry." He heaved a sigh and closed his eyes. If he had to stay there, he might as well sleep.

Brenda brought her book and some L&B paperwork into the bedroom and took a seat near the fireplace. She had been serious when she'd told Jax she would be there all day.

The day passed very slowly for Jax and Brenda and they were more than willing to end it by going to bed. They both secretly hoped the next day would be better, it couldn't get much worse.

When Brenda awoke the next morning, Jax was and had been sleeping peacefully. He hadn't moved from his position and was still lying prone on his back. She watched him sleep and looked him over. The bruises and cuts on his face were starting to fade and he was looking more like himself. He was still shirtless and she could see some of the bruises were also beginning to lighten and fade away.

He stirred as she was watching him. She put a hand to his forehead and smoothed back his hair. He smiled slightly and reached up to take her hand. "Good morning."

"Morning." She leaned over to give him a kiss.

He tried to lift himself into a sitting position and made it to the leaning part with no problem. He supported himself on his arms while Brenda put the pillows back in their places. He decided to stay half laying down. Brenda got him a glass of water and then went to take a shower.

As he listened to her in the bathroom, he thought about how nice it would be to be able to have that freedom again. Just to be able to move. He was so frustrated with the whole thing. Right now, not being able to see didn't even bother him. He just wanted to be able to move. It had only been a few days, but it already felt like a lifetime.

Brenda returned to his side and he decided it was time for him to move. Determined to make it on his own, he shrugged off her every move to help him. If he was going to get better, he was going to have to do things on his own. He found that sitting up was much easier than the day before and standing wasn't so bad, either. The only thing that still hurt was the momentary swing in which his left leg moved forward in the step, but even that wasn't so hard. While he was in the bathroom, he brushed his teeth and wet his hair with water. He wished he could do more than that, but there was no way, not with the cast and not without Brenda's help.

Brenda had dressed while he was up and was waiting for him when he came back. "I was thinking, Jax."

"What about?"

"Well, let's see, you've been in the same outfit for a few days, do you think you might want to change?" Her voice told him she was laughing.

"It's funny, I was just thinking the same thing." He sat down on the bed, but didn't make a move to lay down.

"Then, let's see what we can do about that."

Brenda went around to him with one of his button-down shirts in her hands. She figured it would be the easiest to get on him and she was right. She left it unbuttoned while they attempted to figure out how to finish the job. They finally figured the easiest thing to do would be for him to lie flat on the bed and do it that way. When he had turned and was lying down, she carefully worked the waistband of his sweatpants over his hips. He tried to help her as much as possible, but it was easier for him to lie still while she pulled.

Just getting them off took fifteen minutes and putting another pair on was twice as long. When they were finished, both Jax and Brenda were breathing hard. She sat down next to him on the bed and asked, "Are you okay?"

He nodded and slowly raised himself into a sitting position against the headboard. "Much better." He really was finding it easier to move today. His ribs didn't hurt nearly as much as they had been.

Brenda noticed how easily he was moving and thought it was going to be difficult to get him to stay there for the day. She soon found out she was right.

Jax reached for his crutches and pulled himself up to stand. "Jax, where do you think you're going?"

"Anywhere but here."

"Such as?"

"Gee, Brenda, I don't know, maybe Tahiti. I only meant the living room."

"But there are the stairs…"

"I know, and I don't want to be in here anymore, all right?"

There was no arguing with him when he was being like this. She knew he wasn't going to hurt himself seriously if he tried, so she relented. She helped him to the top of the steps and when he took hold of the banister, she took his crutches. He took a few deep breaths and Brenda put her hand on his elbow to let him know he was not going to fall if she had anything to say about it. A flash of doubt passed his mind and he nearly backed out.

Brenda picked up on it and said, "We don't have to do this. You can stay up here, you know."

He shook his head and gripped the banister with all his might. He jumped down one step and stopped. That wasn't so bad, he thought. He jumped for the next step and then for the floor. But when his foot was to pass over the bottom step, he clipped it and slipped off. It happened faster than Brenda could react and suddenly he had fallen on the steps.

"Oh my God, Jax! I'm so sorry. Are you hurt? Are you okay?"

When he had first hit the step, Jax felt the air rush out of his lungs. He had been doing so well. He sat on the two steps with his legs stretched out before him. Amazingly enough, his ribs didn't hurt like he had thought they would. They did hurt and every time he breathed he felt them again, but not nearly as much. He took several quick breaths and then nodded his head.

"I'm fine, Brenda. It's not your fault."

"Yes, it is. I shouldn't have let you fall."

"You wouldn't have been able to stop it." He put his hand back up on the banister and was determined to pull himself up without her help. Clumsily, he was eventually standing. He was fine and only hurt a little bit. He felt for his crutches and began to move towards the couch. Brenda watched in amazement. He felt the tip of his crutch pass the couch and turned, acutely aware of his surroundings. He was seated on the couch before she even got up from the steps. He had done it, and by himself.

Brenda came to kneel in front of him and took his hand. He had turned and was sitting against the arm of the couch. He turned his head to her and grinned. "I did it. I told you I could."

"Yes, you did." She leaned in to give him a kiss and he quickly made it much more than just a kiss. She pulled back before he tried to go further. "Jax, I know you're not up to that one yet." He grinned in response.

Brenda stayed by his side and sat on the floor next to the couch. She played with his fingers and thought quietly. He had proven to her that he was okay now. It would be another day, but she was sure he could make it now. It was time to get her surprise in motion.