Random and Very Strange AIM
Conversations
*New Conversations Added to Bottom of Page*
AIM ON HOLIDAYS AND PSYCHOLOGY
Friend: My mom sent me my Easter present, I love it.
Friend: lol
Me: what is it?
Friend: blk knee length coat
Friend: perfect fit, surprisingly
Me: why's that?
Friend: bc usually when she sends me stuff, there's something wrong lol
Me: she should just send money and save herself the trouble, right?
Friend: I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking
the state-appointed shrink is our friend
Friend: exactly
Me: huh?
Me: what's the stuff in blue?
Friend: someone away message
Friend: thought it was funny
Me: hehe
Me: that is good
Me: should at it to my repitoire
Friend: ha
Friend: Away Message:
Friend: I am not currently available right now. However, if you would like to
be transfered to another correspondent, please press the number that best fits
your personality:
-If you are obsessive compulsive, please press "1" repeatedly.
-If you are codependant, please ask someone to press "2".
-If you have multiple personalitites, please press "3", "4",
and "5".
-If you are paranoid delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just
stay on the line so we can trace your call.
-If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the little voice will tell you
which number to press.
-If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter what number you press, no one
will answer.
Me: heard it, but it's still funny
Me: my psych teacher told it to us in HS
Friend: lol
Me: yeah, a psych teacher telling jokes about the mentally unstable. that's
a good standard
Friend: lol
AIM ON DRINKING AND COSMETICS
Me: what'd I miss?
Friend: just getting ready for work
Me: where do you work?
Friend: bartending tonight
Me: oh, right
Me: aren't you a little young?
Friend: trained by the college, part of being in CHEERS
Me: I know, but isn't it illegal for minors to serve?
Friend: not on campus
Me: cool
Me: how long are you working for?
Friend: 2 hours, filling in for someone
Me: is this a party or something?
Friend: concert at the nightclub
Me: you have a nightclub on campus?
Friend: yeah bc theres nothing here
Friend: called the Attic
Me: sounds like your campus is a bit like mine
Me: nothing to do
Friend: lol
Me: yup
Friend: excuse for dramatic makeup
Me: hehe
Me: what's makeup?
Friend: huh?
Me: never mind, my mind is wandering
Friend: you don't know what makeup is?
Me: it was a joke--I never use the stuff
Friend: why not?
Me: because I don't like it
Me: don't like all the crap on my face
Friend: not even lip balm?
Me: I use chapstick--that count?
Friend: lol
Me: me and cosmetics
AIM ON GHOSTS AND CHICKEN
Friend: hey, my normal makeup is unnoticable
Me: then why do you use it?
Friend: just use normal colors, makes everything stand out
Me: ah
Friend: eyes look a little brighter, wider
Friend: cheeks healthier, lips fuller, glossier
Me: gosh, I think I must look dead
Friend: no
Friend: if your skin is uneven, or deathly pale like me, foundation evens it
out
Friend: takes me 5-10 min and it looks much better
Me: I've got the deathly pale thing down pat
Me: my friend says I look like a ghost. was going to take me on vacation with
her, tie me to a rotisserie and turn me under the sun
Me: she's so nice
AIM ON CASES OF THE PSYCHOTIC
Me: is there such a thing as being too strange?
Friend: yes. but you're not it
Friend: Ted Bundy, Jeffery Dharma- that's too strange
Me: no, that's just psychotic
Friend: lol
Me: there's a difference
Friend: okay, pee wee herman
Friend: that's too strange
Me: normal people are strange and killers are psychotic
Friend: teletubbies- too strange
Me: I'd classify them as scarey and mind-destroying, but that's just me
Friend: lol
AIM ON BODILY FUNCTIONS AND MONKEYS
Friend: I make 15/hr at home
Me: where?
Friend: hospital
Me: ah, see that's a real job
Me: I worked in a gtocery store
Friend: lol
Me: there's a bit of a difference, i'd say
Friend: yeah
Friend: I deal with people that are pissy bc they're sick, you deal with people
that are pissy bc the canned goods isle is too crowded, and the peas were too
far back when they finally got to them
Me: sounds like a barrel of monkeys
Friend: lol
Me: that is actually a pretty accurate descrption, but they're even more pissy
because they have to pay for those pea
Me: s
Me: oops
Friend: lmao
Me: they're just jealous because you're having so much fun
Friend: lol
Me: actually, they probably think you're crazy
Friend: thanks
Me: anytime
AIM ON COOKIES AND DRINK
Me: good luck to the Red Wings tonight
Friend:-)
Me: it's your b-day hockey game
Me: ;-)
Friend: lol
Friend:-)
Me: you going to watch?
Me: stupid question, right?
Friend: yes i will
Me: something tells me we'll be having roast duck for dinner (note:
they were playing the Mighty Ducks)
Me:-D
Friend: lol
Me: your package ever arrive?
Friend: no
Friend: i am pissed
Me: do you know what it was?
Friend: a cookie cake
Me: ah
Me: got any booze to go with it?
Me: ;-)
Me: miss one-step-closer to 21
Friend: no
Friend: lol
Me: aw, what good are you?
Friend: rofl
Me: ouch, don't hurt yourself
Me: it's a hard floor
Me: bad thing to do on your b-day
Me: 8-)
Friend: lol
Friend: ;-)
THE RANDOMNESS THAT IS AIM
Friend: I'm trying to get a job here over Summer
Friend: http://www.middlebury.edu/~seo/jobs01/interns/ET_intern_scientific_animation.html
Friend: How's that for sweet?
Me: wow. good luck
Me: does this mean we won't be seeing you? (super long
pause)
Me: oh, T
Me: you get eaten by a monster or something?
Friend: I should be home at the beginning and end of Summer
Friend: But by the end of Summer, home may mean Illinios
Friend: But I will be very put out if I can't see you guys this Summer
Friend: Why is your buddy icon so demented?
Friend: Just wrong horizontal scaling?
Me: interesting conversation switch, but yes, I didn't shrink the picture
Me: why IL?
Friend: Eaten by a monster?
Friend: close
Friend: started dating ;-)
Friend: A lot nicer than a monster though
Me: aw, who's the lucky girl?
Friend: My dad got the job offer from there
Me: answer above, and then tell me you aren't really leaving us
Friend: Her name's A
Friend: Met her in Christian Fellowship
Friend: Wait, what?
Friend: The lucky girl is A
Friend: And I'm not really leaving you
Friend: My family's just moving
Friend: What are you up for this Summer?
Me: gonna go home and get a job
Me: what else is new?
Me: and if your family moves, you don't come home to OH anymore
Friend: DAG seems to have disappeared
Me: you're right, I haven't seen him around lately
Me: but I didn't see anything anything but your away message for a while, either
Friend: Hmmm
Friend: Didn't see much of you either
Friend: But I think I'l be able to stop by Ohio
Friend: I don't know how often
Me: we'll miss you Tim
Me:-*
Friend: we may just have to make more of a point of talking through AIM
Friend: Augh!!!!!!!!
Me: quoi?
Friend: *wipe*
Me: I hope your girlfriend wasn't around
Me:-D
Me: oh, well, I gtg
Me: the hmwk calls
Me: as well as my stomach
Me: ttyl
Friend: ok
Friend: see ay around
Friend: *ya
AIM ON RELATIONSHIPS
Friend: I can't wait for my best friend to break up with this idiot freshman
Friend: seriously.
Me: that's nice
Friend: it is.
Friend: it'll happen soon enough.
Friend: she's afraid of sex, opposed of premarital
Friend: of =to^
Me: and....?
Friend: he'll never last
Friend: she looks like she's 9, sounds like she's 5, and fromw hat I cann based
on the class she and I have together, she's about 7 mentally
Me: wait, the guy is your friend?
Me: oh
Friend: yes
Me: aw, and he wants sex
Me: and she doesn't
Me: huh, that's new
Friend: she never will
Me: she's in college
Me: she doesn't need to
Friend: she asked me what a vibrator was
Me: not everyone wants to get laid
Me: it's not a college requirement
Friend: oh, but he does.
Friend: he broke up with his girl of 3 years for the freshie
Friend: bc she's here
Friend: and he'd get more
Friend: but in the meantime, he's forgotten his own life
Friend: even his roommate hasn't seen him in forever
Me: sounds like a great friend
Friend: he was until he had a gf on campus
Me: this is why I don't date
Me: not worth it
Friend: no, see, there's dating. there's having a boyfriend
Friend: then there's being so far up your significant others ass that you resemble
hemmheroids
......
Friend: a guy is like jewelry- nice to have, fun to show off
Friend: but not necessary
Friend: you don' give up clothes or shoes for a ring
Friend: gotta be practical
......
Friend: but a guy should complement your life...add to who you are, be a friend
and the person you're dating
Friend: shouldn't become your life
AIM ON TYPOS
Friend: wearing my mr.bubble shit
Friend: yayyy
Friend: shirt
Friend: wow, what a typo
Me: yes it is
AIM ON STUPIDITY
Friend: oooo in other news, a girl on my floor cut her ear off last night
Friend: had to have it reattatched
Friend: living with idiots is so exciting.
Me: how did she manage that?
Friend: are you ready to laugh?
Me: yes
Friend: she was trying to cut her hair...(and you know how a mirror image is
reversed) she opened the scissors wide, and cut towards her ear ---> cut
the damn thing off
Friend: she was using the scissors you use to cut bones when cooking or something
Me: no comment
AIM ON FRUITS AND DOGS
Friend: Aye?
Friend: Tell me your thoughts.
Friend: I have told you many of mine unravelled ones.
Friend2: My thoughts right now involve eggs and bananas
Friend2: I am trying to do a feasability analysis on creating an omlet with
bananas
Friend2: Such brilliant thoughts echo in my mind, eh?
Friend: Quite so, friend.
Friend: But if there is anymore, I will of course be willing to listen.
Friend2: That's about it. well, I'm also trying to devise a strategy to stop
my dog from licking my leg.
AIM ON ROOMMATES, SPANKING,
AND BAD INITIALS
Friend: my roomate just arrived.
Me: shoot him
Friend: ok.
Friend: He wants to know why?
Me: cause i said so
Friend: ok
Me: good
Me: you're all mine, *AG (My friend's initials are DAG.
I...ummm...had a small typo accident just before this conversation took place)
Me: all mine
Friend: haha
Friend: you know, when you type *AG
Friend: it's as if you're swearing.
Friend: You know, bleeping the bad thing.
Friend: err
Friend: bleeping the word
Me: are you a bad thing, *AG?
Friend: oh yeah
Me: are you very bad?
Me: very very bad?
Me: do you need a spanking?
Friend: oh yes. indeed
Friend: a spanking, a spanking!
Friend: we're going to have a spanking tonight!
Me: you'll have to have your roomie do it since i'm 600 miles away
Me: is that ok?
Friend: haha. It'd be a bit hard now that I shot him.
Me: oops
Me: damn
Me: don't you have more than one roomie?
Friend: no
Me: oh, darn
Friend: Well, I have two people sharing the apartment with me
Friend: err
Friend: two more people
Me: ?
Me: what, you have one roomie and two squatters?
Friend: there are two rooms per apartment.
Friend: and two people per room
Me: oh
Me: well, get one of them to spank you
Me: for me, of course
Friend: none of them are here
Me: bugger
Me: guess you'll just have to wair
Me: t
Me: is your dead roomie enjoying this conversation?
Friend: indeed
Me: figured he was watching
Friend: haha
Me: well, that's another person who thinks i should be committed
Me: running out of fingers and toes
Friend: lol
Me: lots of lollypops?
Me: yummy
Friend: Do you need more fingers and toes?
Me: oh yes
Friend: OK. I'll go to the morgue and get you some. Can you send some shipping
and handling?
Me: i can't send handling---no fingers
Me: and no boat
Me: sorry
Me: :'(
Me: and this is my sad face
Me: :-D
Me: and this is my cheeky face
Friend: ok.
Me: O:-)
Me: and this is my demonic face
Me: don't ask
AIM ON YOUR ARSE IN HELL
Me: are you trying to explain me to your roomie?
Friend: no
Friend: He went back to his desk
Me: i thought he was dead?
Me: you have to do hmwk when you're dead?
Me: bugger
Friend: as an OSU engineer you do.
Friend: it sucks
Me: you must design the inner workings of hell
Me: the devil needs his air conditioning
Friend: haha
Me: whatever conditioned air is
Me: you ever see air get into shape?
Me: run? walk?
Friend: It's air which has gone through the vidal sasoon academy
Me: lmao
Me: get back here, ass!
Me: dammit
Friend: umm.....
Me: no bum
Me: bugger
Friend: umm....
Me: humm
Me: my ass is gone
Me: didn't even say goodbye
Me: *sniff*
Friend: I'm sorry. *hug*
Friend: I'll go find it for you.
Me: aw, tanks
Me: *smootch*
Friend: sure thing
Friend: :-*
Me: hehe
Me: someone would think we're dating
Me: i'm freaking you out, aren't i?
Friend: just a wee :-)
Me: good, got to keep you on your toes
Friend: Yeah. You're the only one I have to keep me on my toes. Come to think
of it, you're the only one I have, period. :-)
Me: aw, i feel special
Friend: As well you should
Me: hehe
Friend: Anyway, what do you think of pants?
Me: if i still had my ass, i would think them necessary
Me: but alas
Friend: I'm still looking for it. I've sent out the hounds/
Me: don't hurt it!
Friend: I won't. Don't worry.
Me: you'd better know
Friend: Better know what?
Me: oops
Me: not
Friend: oh
Friend: ok
Me: you don't have to know anything
Friend: haha. Ok.
Friend: Hey, wait
Friend: One of the hounds have found your ass!
Friend: Let me see if I can send it through AIM
Me: ok
Friend: ( | )
Friend: Is that it?
Me: yes, i think that's it
Friend: yay!
Friend: ok
Me: this is one for the website
Friend: indeed
AIM ON JESUS
Friend: hehehe
Me: I'm so funny
Friend: I am reading the .chat stuff on the AFA
Friend: laughing
Me: AFA?
Me: what dat mean?
Friend: some psycho conservative christian group that was sending some mhc girl
shit about being sinners
Me: wow, sounds like fun
Me: maybe I should convert
Friend: rofl
Friend: if you do I'll stop talking to you...cause I won't be able to stop laughing
Me: what, can't you see me saying 25 Hail Mary's after drinking 25 bloody marys?
Friend: rofl
Me: hey, it could happen
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