Chapter Nine
�Krishna! That is the best!� Rajani took up the swatch and stroked it like she would a kitten. �What�s it called?�
�It�s made of modal, it comes from some sort of a tree, blah blah blah forests and whatnot and they�re on sale for 40 percent off. Should I get them?�
�Ask yourself this philosophical question. Does the Pope like Catholics?�
I plucked a set of full-size lilac tree-sheets from the shelf and threw them in the cart.
�Don�t you wish they had prom dresses here at Target? That would only make everything so much easier,� I sighed as Rajani started off down the aisle again, touching nearly every swatch as we went.
�Undoubtedly so. You know, I heard that Sylvia girl was going to drive all the way to Bal Harbour so she could get her dress from Chanel�s store there.� Rajani�s nose crinkled in a disgusted manner as she mentioned Sylvia, a girl whose name makes my blood curdle in sheer, utter hatred. This is the archetype of the girl who has it all. Her 16th birthday party was an extravaganza that cost nearly $50,000. Can you imagine that? That�s a down payment on a $500,000 house right there! And of course she got a car on that day, as well. I got old Bonkura for my 16th. She got a BMW, which she wrecked a few months later after trying to get home from a drunken party. It�s a surprise she lived to tell the tale. I�m sure she has some flaw about her. Perhaps she is completely miserable in her rich life, or maybe she has a secret child or something like that.
�Fuck Sylvia, I�m going to the mall. Maybe the dresses there won�t cost a damn arm and leg.� I mentally tried to remember the balance on my debit card and faltered.
�I�m thinking of emerald green for you, Eva, it would match your eyes really well,� Rajani commented.
�You think so?� I asked, pushing towards the checkout lines. I could check my debit card�s balance there while buying my tree sheets.
�Definitely so. I can help you browse,� Rajani offered.
�Thanks!� I secured a spot in one of the checkout lines and proceeded to dig through my purse for my wallet. I carry far too much stuff around. As the tree sheets moved gleefully down the conveyor belt, I threw on a People magazine so I could read about the exploits of celebrities. I guess something on the cover reminded Rajani to ask me how talking to Boss about the whole s-e-x thing went.
�Hey, have you talked to Gabe yet?� she casually asked.
�Already have.� I greeted the cashier and fed my debit card into the reader. �He didn�t break up with me or anything.� I keyed in my PIN number. �In fact, he was very understanding about everything!� The reader whirred and spat out my card.
�Wow, that�s awesome,� Rajani replied. �I�m glad he understood. You two look so cute together. It would be a shame if you two broke up.�
�Tell me about it.� And once again, I forgot to check my debit card balance! Fuck a duck.
�Do you want to go to the mall now?� Rajani asked.
�Yeah, I�m just afraid I won�t have enough money in my account. I�m not sure how much I have.� I received my bag and receipt from the cashier and headed for the front door.
�I�ll float you some cash if you run out,� Rajani offered. �Anything to find you the most perfect dress, beta!�
Sooner than I knew it, Rajani was flitting around the humongous dress display at the local Macy�s. She had a collection of emerald frocks on her arm, six in all, the limit for entering the dressing room. I also had six.
�How are we going to do this? You don�t want a green dress too, do you?� I asked, which made Rajani laugh.
�No, beta, these are all for you. I�ll take these six and go into the room next to you. Then, I�ll slide the dresses under the separators between the rooms, and voila! You can try on twelve dresses at a time instead of six. Brilliant idea, huh?� Rajani seemed very pleased with herself for thinking of this plan, and I have to admit, it was pretty clever. I nodded my agreement and followed her to the dressing rooms, where she asked for a room and I asked for a room. We situated ourselves in neighboring rooms, the bounty of dresses was sent to me, and then Rajani was knocking on my door.
�I want to see how you look in them!� she demanded. I acquiesced and allowed her into my room, which was sort of a tight fit. Undaunted, I picked out the first of a dozen frocks, a strapless that came down to the knee and shimmered in the light. I put it on and found, to my dismay, that I looked terrible in a strapless dress! Even Rajani couldn�t hide her shock, though she masked it very quickly.
�Um, forget about strapless dresses,� I said, defeated. Rajani nodded and quickly moved the four other strapless dresses we selected to a different hook. I shimmied out of this terribly unflattering dress and put on a dress that was cut too small, I suppose, for my, um, ample bust. Namely, I could zip it up all the way, but when I did so much as breathe, the dress constricted me so much in the chesty area that I thought I was going to die. Rajani relegated that particular dress to the same hook as the strapless ones.
We went through a few others�a dress without lining that made everything visible to the whole world, another chest-constrictor, and one that just looked too 80s for me�until the last dress was left sitting all alone. I slowly put it on, feeling defeated by my body and the way dresses are made, but the dress fit perfectly. It was gorgeous, modest, and�$120. But it was so perfect! It was, of course, emerald, with a halter that went over my neck for safety. There was a mint green sash at the waist to provide some contrast and the dress was almost�almost!�to the floor. When I stood in front of the mirror with it on, Rajani let out a little contented sigh.
�Oh, Eva, it�s perfect,� she said in awe. �What do you think?�
�I�m going to buy it,� I said, scoffing at the price tag.
�Excellent! I was thinking of silver and green for accessories and silver for shoes. How does that sound?� Rajani asked.
�I think it�ll be perfect. You�ll help me out, right?�
�Of course I will! Will you return the favor?�
�Will you need it?� I joked.
�I can always use a second opinion!� Rajani smiled. �Come on, let�s take these failures back out to pasture.� The eleven denied dresses were discarded on the rack provided exclusively for this purpose. Once that was done with, Rajani and I trekked over to the shoe section. We decided that we could save some money on the jewelry by shopping for that at Claire�s, because sometimes very similar pieces would go for a huge markup at Macy�s. I did, however, find some shoes. They were kitten heels (but still heels, and I am terrible at walking in heels), silver, with a cute little faux-diamond brooch in the middle of the foot.
�You don�t buy prom shoes for comfort,� Rajani told me. �You buy them for sex appeal.� She grinned. �Now help me find a dress!� After some more hunting, she ended up settling on a dazzling red dress, a sleeveless piece that terminated mid-calf and had glitter sewn into the fabric. She got some strappy gold sandals and told me that she had some splendid Indian jewelry she could wear.
�You mean like bindis and stuff?� I asked naively.
�Well, yes, bindis and also some rings and bangles�� Rajani paused. �Now that I think about it, I probably have some silver and green stuff. I can let you borrow that instead of you having to spend even more money!� The one-two punch of dress and shoes left my debit account depleted�not empty, just with less money than I�m comfortable with. Knowing that I wouldn�t have to spend any more money was definitely a good thing. We left the mall, I raided the jewelry boxes at Rajani�s house to find some choice pieces, and then I went back home so I could show off my new threads and jewels.
I got into my full outfit and hobbled upstairs in the sexy shoes (honestly, that�s the dumbest fucking reason I�ve ever heard to wear this kind of shoe) to model for Mom, Dad, and Mike. Mom squealed and clapped when she saw me, Dad nodded, and Mike tried his best to disguise the fact that he was impressed by my appearance.
�Oh, Evey, it�s all so gorgeous!� Mom chirped. �My little girl looks so gorgeous! Doesn�t she, Vince?�
�I have to admit, you do, Eva.� Dad nodded again, a huge smile on his face. I smiled back. �Is there a lucky young man that might be accompanying you to this prom?�
�Yes,� I said hastily.
�And what is his name?� Mom asked, goading me into spilling the beans.
�Gabe,� I replied.
�Does he go to your school?� Mom asked.
�No, he goes to Gulf Coast. He said it�s to save money.� I paused. �He lives in Orangeville, Mom!�
�No wonder he needs to save money, those places are expensive,� Mom muttered.
�Is he a decent young man?� Dad queried.
�No weird piercings or tattoos or anything like that,� I said cheerfully. �English major, loves the classics, Quentin Tarantino movies, cute Southern accent, very much a gentleman�� Dad smiled and nodded again upon hearing that last part, while I got thoroughly flustered as I thought of these different attributes. �He�s been busy lately�finals season is coming up�but he�s really looking forward to meeting all of you. Even you, Mike.� Mike looked up from his Game Boy with a deer-in-headlights look, having floated out of the conversation as soon as the date question came up. Typical.
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�So, it�s emerald green, huh?�
�Yeah. It�s really Old Hollywood glamour, too. I don�t feel trashy or anything. In fact, I feel, dare I say this? I feel pretty.�
�You should, Eva. Like I�ve told you approximately twelve million times, you�re beautiful and you just have some sort of disorder or something that prevents you from realizing it.� I laughed sheepishly. �When do I get to see this Old Hollywood glamour outfit?�
�Perhaps you can see it on prom night, hm?� I asked. �The parents are excited to meet you. Remember to keep up the ruse.�
�Will do.�
�Hey, Boss, um, are there any possible jobs coming up?� I wondered meekly. �My money ditch, she grows shallower.�
�Not that I�m aware of yet, but as soon as one might become available, I�ll make sure to tell you.� For some reason, I suddenly felt a pang of loneliness as I sat on my bed, absentmindedly touching my tree sheets.
�I feel lonely,� I commented.
�Do you want me to come over there?� Boss asked.
�Could you?� I asked.
�To be honest, I�d prefer if you came to my house instead.�
�And why�s that?�
�Two reasons. One, I want to wait until prom night to meet your parents. Two, I�m lazy, what can you do about it?�
What did I do about it? I sped over to his place and practiced the newest kissing technique I picked up from Seventeen. It involves a bit�and just a little bit, you don�t want to get too forceful�of nibbling on the other person�s lip. It�s surprising, it�s daring, it�s what�s hot on the streets�and it made Boss actually moan. Yes, you read that right. It was totally hot.
�Damn, where did you learn that trick?� Boss asked me after we were done.
�It�s a secret technique found in every woman�s copy of the secret female handbook,� I said jokingly. Boss glared at me and I decided to give him the real source. �Okay, so maybe it was in Seventeen.�
�I�m going to write a letter to the editor of Seventeen, then. That was the sexiest thing you�ve ever done to me,� Boss told me as he Eskimo kissed me. �You keep on surprising me, Eva. And that�s just one of the many things I love about you.�
These kind words, coupled with vivid memories of our times together, kept me going throughout another dull week of school until the 16th rolled around. I spent the day not getting ready like the other girls in my class would. I didn�t get any of those ugly up-do hairstyles because I think they kind of look like dog shit. I decided to just keep my hair the way it was because it was the most flattering. I didn�t have a date with a tanning bed because I know the risks far outweigh any benefits. I�m actually kind of proud to be pale now. I sat around and watched Pulp Fiction in the morning, and when the afternoon came, I futzed around on the Internet for some time. An hour before showtime, I got dressed and all made-up with silver eyeshadow all the way to my eyebrows and ultra-shiny lip gloss. I put the essentials in my tiny silver clutch bag, slipped into the sexy shoes, and hobbled upstairs to the living room, where I took a seat on the couch and waited.
�Oh, Evey, you�re gorgeous. I wouldn�t be surprised if you got prom queen,� Mom said, laying it on thick.
�Aw, Mom, stop it. I didn�t get nominated or anything.�
�Hm, their loss. When is Gabe coming to pick you up? I want to get some pictures.�
�He should be coming around�� I paused at the sound of the doorbell. �Now, I guess!� I sat up and wobbled over to the door, opening it to see Boss standing there, looking hotter than I�d ever seen him. He decided to just leave his hair down, too, which was a good idea on his part. He wore the typical guy at prom outfit�you know, the black suit with the white shirt, but thankfully he decided to do away with that ridiculous thingy that goes around the waist. You know what I mean? I can�t remember what it�s called. He did have a corsage for me, though, and gingerly put it on me as he entered.
�God, you look so gorgeous tonight,� he whispered in my ear, causing every hair on my body to stand on end.
�Hello, Gabe, it�s nice to meet you. I�m Monica Lyle, but you can just call me Ms. Lyle,� Mom said cheerfully, shaking Boss� hand just like she shakes the hands of her various clients.
�Hey, Gabe!� Dad exclaimed, trying to be friendly. �Vincent Lyle. Good to meet you!� The two men had a manly handshake. �You�re going to take care of my little girl, right?�
�Dad!� I exclaimed, embarrassed.
�Yes, sir, I�m going to,� Boss gamely responded. Mike wandered into the room, lured by the noise.
�That right there is my little brother, Mike,� I said, pointing to him. He smiled and put away his Game Boy just long enough to eke out a �Hello�. �He�s trying to beat Metroid right now,� I explained helpfully. Boss nodded slightly. �So, are we ready to go?�
�Not yet!� Mom shouted, fetching her camera. The next few minutes were occupied with us having to strike poses for her third eye�one pose even had Boss carrying me around like we were newlyweds or something! Finally, the photoshoot was done and we were allowed to leave. Boss took my hand in his and led me to his car.
�I�m serious. You�re the most beautiful thing I�ve ever seen in my life,� Boss said without any hint of sarcasm or putting it on.
�That can�t be true,� I said bashfully.
�It is,� he replied. �Now, where is this little shindig being held?�
�Holiday Inn,� I said as I settled into the passenger�s seat. �You�ll get to meet Rajani and Chris� boyfriends!� Instantly, my heart froze as I remembered the reason Robbie had to die.
�Chris? Is that a boy or girl?� Boss asked.
�Boy,� I answered very quietly. �If you don�t want to meet him, that�s okay��
�No, Eva. I want to get close to your friends. If Chris already has a boyfriend, that means he won�t be hitting on me, which means he won�t have to go where Robbie is.� Boss paused. �I�m not homophobic. I�m gay-guy-wanting-to-kill-the-woman-I-love-to-get-with-me-phobic.�
�Good enough for me,� I said with a big smile as I helped Boss find a parking spot at the hotel. I hastily extracted our tickets from my purse and struggled to exit the car, which made Boss literally leap out of his seat and dash over to open the door for me. He�s such a gentleman! Oh, I hope everyone in the school sees me with him! I want to prove some of the girls in my class wrong by showing that I can, indeed, get a guy. I walked into the ballroom feeling giddy, a feeling helped by the fact that Chris, David, Rajani, and Stephen were already there. To my surprise, Chris and David were allowed in.
�Chris!� I shouted, waving like I was lost at sea. �Hi! Hi! Oh, my God, you both look so good!� Both Chris and David were decked out in pastel pink tuxedos, but they had those waist-constrictor things on. I still can�t remember what they�re called! They also each had pink roses on their lapels.
�Hey, girl!� Chris chirped as soon as he saw me. �You look hot tonight.� He looked at Boss. �Is it okay for me to say that?� he joked.
�It�s cool,� Boss replied, chuckling.
�Gabe, this is Chris�well, you already know that�and this is David.� Boss shook hands with both of them. �Chris, I�m glad they let you in!�
�Me too,� Chris said. �They weren�t going to, but then I pointed out that it would be a shame to kick out people who paid for their tickets fair and square, especially when I�m a card-carrying ACLU member with an itchy trigger finger, if you know what I mean!� David was sent into fits of laughter by this comment. �David does grassroots work for the ACLU on occasion.�
�The money pays well and I like the job too,� David said in a surprisingly deep voice, kind of like James Earl Jones�.
�Rajani has been eagerly awaiting your arrival, honey,� Chris told me. �So you better go find her! I think she said something about dancing.�
�To this shit?� Boss asked, referring to the rap music that was blaring from the speakers. I think I heard a reference to �hoes� in the song. How appropriate for prom!
�She plans on getting crunk, I suppose,� David explained, laughing again. I laughed with him�that was funny as hell�and led Boss over to where Rajani and Stephen sat.
�Eva!� Rajani cried.
�Rajani!� I cried. We hugged.
�Eva, you look fabulous! I�m so glad that you found that dress.�
�I�m so glad you let me borrow all this neat jewelry. I feel like that pretty Indian actress with blue eyes.� I twirled around.
�Aishwarya Rai,� Rajani interjected helpfully. �Sit down, sit down! Hello, Gabe, good to see you again.� She hugged him, too. �This is my boyfriend, Stephen.� Stephen and Boss shook hands before Boss held out the chair for me! Oh God! He�s being so great!
Stephen and Boss immediately got to talking, which left me free to chat with Rajani.
�Hey, Raj, did you read the most recent Seventeen?� I asked.
�No, it hasn�t come in the mail yet,� Rajani explained.
�When it does, you have to read about the new kissing technique,� I gushed. �It�s so hot.� I whispered to inflect some more emotion.
�Really?� Rajani asked, her eyes widening.
�Really.� I nodded slowly to convey more emotion. �It made Gabe moan.�
�Moan? Are you serious?� Rajani whispered.
�Like a heart attack,� I said, nodding again.
�You two are adorable together, you know that, right?� Rajani suddenly asked. �You�ve made a very good catch, Eva. I�m happy for you, beta.�
�Thank you, Rajani. Stephen is good to you, right?� I don�t want anyone hurting my best friend.
�He�s great! Like a dream.� Rajani smiled contentedly. �Do you want to get crunk now?�
�How does one get crunk?� I asked cluelessly.
�Bend over to the front, touch your toes, back that ass up and down and get low!� the current song explained, the word �ass� blanked out but that doesn�t matter because everyone knows what it is anyway.
�That�s how!� Rajani said sheepishly.
�God, I am so sick of this music!� Chris exclaimed as he and David approached the table, hands full of food. �It�s all about fucking hoes and bling bling and that stupid shit.�
�Tell me about it. If I had my way, we�d be listening to my iPod on shuffle,� I grumbled. �I know a beautiful song that could be used for a slow dance, too.� I shook my head ruefully as I imagined the song playing in my head.
�Really? What song? Maybe we can request it,� David suggested.
�No, we can�t. It�s not in English,� I explained.
�What language is it in?� Stephen asked.
�Japanese,� I replied proudly.
�You know Japanese?� Stephen asked, intrigued.
�A little bit. But even if I don�t 100% understand the words in a song, I still feel the emotion in the singer�s voice and the instruments.� I smiled, but my smile deflated like a balloon when I saw Sylvia there. She looked like a monster�an over-tanned, dog-shit-updo-having, sluttish dress-wearing monster. Her dress, or lack thereof, was shockingly canary yellow. It had spaghetti straps, a super-low V-neck, and two bits cut out of the sides for some odd reason. The dress came down to nearly the floor in front, but there were two huge slits up the sides, and she toddled around on stiletto heels like a newly born horse.
�What�s wrong, Eva?� Rajani asked, turning around. �Answered my own question.�
�Who�s that?� Boss asked, touching my arm.
�Sylvia. Huge bitch. Too privileged. You know the deal. But I want to brag. Come on.� I took Boss� hand and stood up. �Play it cool.�
�Like the Fonz,� Boss replied. �Eyyyy.�
�Sylvia! Hi!� I said, holding back the bile that was rising in my throat at the mere sight of her. �Hey, hi, how�re you doing?�
�Oh, um, hi, Eva!� Sylvia said, faking happiness. She had a chandelier of diamonds hanging around her neck and two huge diamonds dangling from her ears. �Is that?� Her eyes bulged. �Is that your date?�
�Yes, ma�am, it is. This is Gabe.� Boss waved and smiled.
�Wow, Eva. Wow. I�m impressed.� Sylvia nodded and then spotted her date behind us. She squealed, jumped up and down, and ran over, nearly tripping on the way there.
�That�s the most she�s ever spoken to me,� I lamented. �That wasn�t bitchy, I mean.�
�Her loss, honey. Her loss.� Boss touched my cheek tentatively. �So, what�s that song you were talking about, again? It has to be better than this shit.�
�It�s infinite times better than this shit,� I said. �It�s a little ditty called Toki ni Ai wa.�
�Come again?�
�Toki ni Ai wa�uhm, At Times, Love Is, I think is the translation.� I shrugged. �Something like that: toki meaning time and ai meaning love.� I smiled. �It�d be so cool if they played it here.�
�They�re not going to.� Boss paused. �I have an idea!�
�What�s that?�
�Let�s go pick up your iPod, take it to my place, and have our own little prom. Rajani, Stephen, Chris, and David are welcome to come along.� Boss smiled warmly.
�You mean it?� I asked, brightening up.
�I mean it. We can hear Toki ni Ai wa and other good stuff.�
�Your pronunciation is good!� I exclaimed. �Can I tell the crew?�
�Tell the crew! We can make a caravan or something.� I rushed back to the table.
�Guys! Guys! Let�s blow this pop stand. Gabe is offering up his loft as a place for our own little prom, with cool music and everything!� I reported. Everyone at the table looked at me like a savior. �Raj, Chris, you two still remember how to get there, right?�
�Beta, how can I forget Orangeville?� Rajani asked casually.
�Ditto,� Chris added.
�Well, get your iPods and other accoutrements and meet us there, fools!� I shouted cheerfully. �Fuck this shitty rap music, we�re off to hear some good stuff!� I went back to Boss, who was still smiling.
�I love seeing you this happy,� he told me right as I planted a huge kiss on him, right there near a good portion of my classmates. I didn�t do any of that lip biting, though, because that�s for private, not public. He held on to me after the fact and smiled before whispering to me: �Can you do some more of that lip biting later on?�
�Can the Pope love Catholics?� I asked. �Now come on! Let�s go!� We left to the strains of yet another song asking the crowd to get crunk, split off into our cars, and off we went. I snuck around the back�it would seem suspicious for me to come home this early�and plucked my iPod from its home near my computer. I forgot to mention this before! I was able to buy an iPod with the money from my missions. No more crappy radio to wake me up. Oh, happy day! My iPod and I went back to Boss, who led me back to his car. �Thank you for this offer. It�s going to be a lot more fun.�
�I did well, didn�t I? The old geezer can surprise you sometimes, can�t he?� Boss joked. In response, I leaned over and kissed his ear. This made him drive faster back to Orangeville and rush me up the stairs so we could get some alone time in before the crew arrived. I put my iPod near his computer and we hurriedly made out on the couch for a few minutes, lip biting to the fullest extent, before we heard the doorbell ring and leapt off each other. We quickly smoothed down any rumpled clothes and answered the door to find Chris and David there. Both of them had their own iPods.
�Now, you two didn�t get too freaky, did you?� Chris joked. He has no idea what happened for real! I simply laughed his comment off, but I knew I would eventually have to tell him what happened�and become less afraid to use the �s� word.
Rajani and Stephen arrived a few minutes later, Rajani�s iPod in tow. Stephen said something about being unable to afford one because of his job or something, so we just had Rajani�s bejeweled iPod to throw into the mix. For the rest of the night, we all got �crunk� to music ranging from disco (Chris) to Swedish techno (David) to Bollywood (Rajani) to J-pop (moi). We didn�t care about how goofy our dances must have looked because nobody from the school was watching us. We also took a bunch of fun pictures and �Myspace pictures�, where the goal is to turn the camera on yourself and get pictures that way, the more obscured the better. There was no pressure at all. Everyone was just able to let their hair down and enjoy a good time with friends. And yes, Toki ni Ai wa was played at the end of the night.
It was pretty much the best alterna-prom ever.
It ended around the same time as the real prom did so everyone could get back home in time for curfew. After everyone else left the loft, I tried to stifle how tired I was, but I was failing miserably. I think Boss wanted me to stay around for more alone time, but I was just too exhausted to do much of anything, so he gamely took me home and walked me to my front door. I sent him off with a hug, kiss, and the words I�m sure he�s been waiting to hear for quite a while.
�I gotta go now, honey, it�s almost midnight,� he muttered.
�Doesn�t matter,� I replied sleepily, unwilling to remove my arms from around his neck (no, I�m not strangling him, silly). �You know something?�
�What?�
�I love you,� I told him. �For real.� He smiled.
�You�re not afraid to say it anymore,� he pointed out.
�Because I know I really mean it,� I explained. Then I went inside, told the parents about how my night diverted from what a typical prom is (which they thought was pretty cool), went downstairs, removed my prom outfit, changed into pajamas, and got into my bed with the tree sheets. Only when I was settled into my bed and my mind was floating off to dreamland, did I get a song lyric into my head that pretty much perfectly described how I was feeling. Of course, it�s in Japanese!
�Anata ga watashi wo kaete, watashi mo henka shite�� I sang quietly. That basically means �You change me, and I�m changing myself too.� I�ve changed since this time last year, but all for good, I know it.
CONTINUE to Chapter Ten
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