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| Episode Nine |
| Always the Caterpillars... |
| On the last episode, MagiKoopa and Axem Image fought for a place in the Tournament of Heroes Finals, where the winner would face Axem Destruction. After breaking his precious nerdy glasses, MagiKoopa became enraged and Body Slammed Image from above, claiming his victory (Then repaired his glasses). Now is the time to decide who will walk away as the Tournament Champion: Will it be Axem Destruction or MagiKoopa? -------------------------------------------------- The Audience remains silent, staring at the two KO�d fighters. AUDIENCE: � LORD OF TOH: Haha! Made you shut up for a change! MAGIKOOPA: 0/600 AXEM IMAGE: 0/400 Because MagiKoopa fell after Image did, he was declared the winner. He then KO�d himself by laughing too hard and going into a coughing frenzy. AUDIENCE: What a lame way to KO yourself. JAMEY: Yeah well, a lot of strange stuff happens in this story. He throws Life Shrooms over to the KO�d fighters. They regain consciousness. MAGIKOOPA: 10/600 AXEM IMAGE: 10/400 MAGIKOOPA: (senselessly) The sun rises in the east and sets in the west! IMAGE: (senselessly) And money grows on paper, and paper comes from trees! So in conclusion, money does grow on trees! KIRBY: Byo! JAMEY: Kirby, walk these two idiots back to the Contestants� Building. KIRBY: Byo! Byo byo byo byo byo, byo! JAMEY: Shut up, Kirby. Just go. Kirby sucks up the two fighters and walks to the Contestants� Building. JAMEY: That works too� -------------------------------------------------- Back in the Contestants� Building� JKI: This episode, I get my own line, unlike the last time� JKI shakes his fist at the Lord of ToH. SNOW: Me too! He also starts shaking his fist, but in the opposite direction. MERCENARY: Yeah, we don�t even know where that crazy coot is� IMAGE: Except for me. I threw him out the window last night! STRIFE: Oh yeah�Say, let�s have a pool party! EVERYONE ELSE: Yeah! GODDESS AUTUMN: But where are we going to find a pool in the first place to hold it? AARDVARK: Well where did you come from anyway? GODDESS AUTUMN: I took the stairs. She points to a staircase leading up to a vortex. COPPER: Ooh�It all makes sense now! HASAKI: What do you mean? That staircase and vortex wasn�t there a few minutes ago! NINJA: Just�don�t argue with the writer. LORD OF TOH: Darn tootin�! DESTRUCTION: Too bad I have a fight to go to�no pool party for me. Kirby walks in and spits out MagiKoopa and Image. MAGIKOOPA: Kirby, you barbarian! IMAGE: There�s a lot of weird objects down your belly�swords and Waddle Dees, for example. KIRBY: Byo! MagiKoopa and Image hit the Heart Block to restore their HP. MAGIKOOPA: 600/600 AXEM IMAGE: 400/400 DESTRUCTION: And now for our fight! MAGIKOOPA: But I just got here� DESTRUCTION: (Ignoring MagiKoopa) Onwards! He pushes MagiKoopa to the arena. -------------------------------------------------- Back at the arena� AUDIENCE: Shouldn�t. Blue faints again. AUDIENCE: It�s just too addictive. Blue faints unconsciously. PEACE: Stop doing that! She heals Blue back to consciousness. BLUE: This is embarrassing� KEVER: (Holding JAMEY�S BOOK OF COMEBACK JOKES) Just too easy to counter that� Jamey turns to the crowd. JAMEY: Because I have been unusually silent for the past few minutes, I will now reintroduce our finalists! AUDIENCE: Yay. Destruction and MagiKoopa approach the arena. http://www.vgmusic.com/music/console/nintendo/snes/at-zero.mid JAMEY: We have Axem Destruction and MagiKoopa fighting. There, I�m finished. AUDIENCE: Lame. Destruction and MagiKoopa walk to their sides of the ring. JAMEY: I hate you both. Now ready�FIGHT! -------------------------------------------------- The (final) battle begins. AXEM DESTRUCTION: 600/600 MAGIKOOPA: 600/600 Destruction charges forward at high speed with his axe raised. MagiKoopa points his wand at Destruction and a Bolt strikes down from the sky. Destruction runs to the side of it and throws his axe at MagiKoopa. MagiKoopa teleports behind Destruction and thrusts his wand at Destruction�s back. Destruction jumps up and catches his axe. He quickly concentrates his energy into his axe and strikes down as he lands with all his might. MagiKoopa doesn�t dodge (for the reason that I want him hit) and loses 140 HP. AXEM DESTRUCTION: 600/600 MAGIKOOPA: 460/600 MAGIKOOPA: Shut up. HEHEHE!!! MagiKoopa teleports away and sends down another Bolt. Destruction teleports away also and sends down his own bolt of lightning. MagiKoopa teleports from harm and combusts the area Destruction is in. Destruction teleports away from this too. DESTRUCTION: This fight is getting stupid. Jamey, how about we make a rule about not teleporting? JAMEY: OK! Seeing as this fight will be lame if I don�t, whoever teleports will be disqualified! MAGIKOOPA: HEY! I never agreed to that! FAST: Axem Fast says, �You�re a little late on that message!� MagiKoopa raises his wand and is covered in healing magic. He regains 100 HP. AXEM DESTRUCTION: 600/600 MAGIKOOPA: 560/600 MAGIKOOPA: (thinking) Without my teleportation, I�ll be quite vulnerable to attacks. I knew I should�ve learned how to run away� DESTRUCTION: Yay! Destruction throws his axe at MagiKoopa and draws the two swords on his back. MagiKoopa knocks down the axe with a Bolt and sends a Flame Wall at Destruction. Destruction rolls out of the way and charges in for an attack. MagiKoopa shoots a blue flash of light out of his wand at Destruction. Destruction is unable to dodge and falls asleep. DESTRUCTION: (sleep talking) Donuts and butterflies!...They�re all somewhere over the rainbow! MAGIKOOPA: Loser! HEHEHE! MagiKoopa charges up for an attack. MAGIKOOPA: WE�RE GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN! HEHEHE! Shut up. He finishes charging up and points his wand at Destruction. At white mist pops out of the tip and takes the shape as a Boo. BOO: Boo! I�m vaguely threatening and look like some sort of talking bubble seen in comics! Destruction, upon hearing this, slowly wakes up. DESTRUCTION: What a great nap in the middle of a fight! BOO: Boo. DESTRUCTION: Hiya. The Boo floats over to him and soars right through him. DESTRUCTION: This hurts for some reason. Oh right he is. He loses 255 HP. AXEM DESTRUCTION: 345/600 MAGIKOOPA: 560/600 DESTRUCTION: Holy exploding monkeys! That attack was pretty strong! EXPLODING MONKEYS: More like, YOU�RE pretty ugly! AUDIENCE: �Pretty ugly?� Oxymoron! The monkeys explode and they continue fighting. AUDIENCE: Weird� MagiKoopa does a shameful charge at Destruction with his wand raised. Destruction charges in too at five times his speed. MagiKoopa�trips over his nerdy MagiKoopa robes. MAGIKOOPA: Shut up. Destruction swings his swords at MagiKoopa while he�s still down. Since MagiKoopa can�t teleport away, he takes the full attack and loses 140 HP. AXEM DESTRUCTION: 345/600 MAGIKOOPA: 420/600 MagiKoopa points his wand at Destruction, which sends down another Bolt. Destruction rolls out of the way and slashes at MagiKoopa while he�s still on the floor with one of his swords. He loses 120 HP. AXEM DESTRUCTION: 345/600 MAGIKOOPA: 300/600 MAGIKOOPA: Gotta�get�outta here! He points his wand between him and Destruction, exploding that area. Both of them are blown back from the explosion. DESTRUCTION: And I thought I was stupid! Who throws bombs their own faces? They fall to opposite sides of the ring and both lose 150 HP. AXEM DESTRUCTION: 195/600 MAGIKOOPA: 150/600 MagiKoopa gets up and lets out a nerdy grin. MAGIKOOPA: Those who want to make a nice distance between him and his opponent. IMAGE: (Shouting from the Contestants� Building) Or HER and�HER opponent! MAGIKOOPA: Shut up. HEHEHE! DESTRUCTION: Why do you keep saying-Whoa! Another caterpillar! Destruction bends down and looks at a slow moving caterpillar on the platform. DESTRUCTION: Would you like a friend? He takes out his peanut butter jar with the caterpillar from earlier from his Magical Axem Pockets that Don�t Exist and bends tries to scoop up the caterpillar. MAGIKOOPA: What a moron. He sends a Flame Wall at Destruction. DESTRUCTION: NOOOO!!! Destruction jumps out of the way. DESTRUCTION: Do you realize what you�ve done?! MAGIKOOPA: I almost hit you with a Flame Wall. Why? DESTRUCTION: YOU KILLED THE CATERPILLAR! He dashes back to where the caterpillar was and finds its ashes. DESTRUCTION: AAAH! MY LIFE IS OVER!!! Destruction suddenly loses 100 HP. AXEM DESTRUCTION: 95/600 MAGIKOOPA: 150/600 MAGIKOOPA: Right�This is getting more messed up by the second. AUDIENCE: You�re going to be messed up in a SECOND if um�YEAH! BLUE: *Faints again* MagiKoopa raises his wand and covers himself in healing magic. He restores 100 HP. AXEM DESTRUCTION: 95/600 MAGIKOOPA: 250/600 MAGIKOOPA: Whatever he�s got up his sleeve, I�ve got a little surprise for him too�HEHEHE! HEHEHE! HEHE shut up. Destruction stops his blubbering and stands up. DESTRUCTION: MISTER CATERPILLAR WAS MY ONLY FRIEND IN THE WORLD! YOU SHALL PAY BECAUSE I SAY SO! AUDIENCE: Only vaguely threatening� Suddenly, the large flash of light blasts from Destruction. MAGIKOOPA: Ooh, a light show� DESTRUCTION: A LIGHT SHOW TO MAKE ME AWESOME! WOOHOO! The flash passes by and we see Destruction surrounded by electric sparks, flowing through his entire body. MAGIKOOPA: A freaky light show� What MagiKoopa doesn�t know is this is Destruction�s Over-Charged mode, making him much stronger than before, and merely copying DBZ�s Super Saiyan. AUDIENCE: Or maybe it�s Super Sonic� DESTRUCTION: SAME DIFFERENCE! Destruction lifts his hands in the air. DESTRUCTION: I think now will be the most fitting time to use THE ULTIMATE ATTACK OF MY THREE FULL PAGES WORTH OF STATS to WIN ME THE FINALS because THAT�S HOW MOST FIGHTS GO. MAGIKOOPA: Oh. I thought you were just going to hit me. DESTRUCTION: �THAT TOO. LORD OF TOH: Yes, I will now build some suspense and ask a few questions just to make all you devoted readers mad at me. END OF EPISODE NINE AUDIENCE: WHAT?! Now?! JAMEY: Yes, now. [Pulls out Knife] Got a problem? AUDIENCE: Yes! JAMEY: Well then it�s STABBITY TIME! Who will win? Find out in the next episode! FAST: Axem Fast STILL pities the foo that misses it! :) |