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| Episode Five |
| If only Axem Illusion were Watching |
| On the last episode, MagiKoopa and Strife fought in the third battle. After plenty of �Shut ups,� and �Hehehe,� the LORD OF TOH spoke and decided to the end battle in the lamest possible way ever: MagiKoopa tricking Strife into thinking he�s his dad and shoving Strife off the ring. Time for the last battle of the day, Axem Aardvark vs. Axem Image! -------------------------------------------------- We join Strife and MagiKoopa in their heated discussion� STRIFE: So�are you my dad NOW? MAGIKOOPA: NO! I only said that to trick you! STRIFE: �What about now?! MAGIKOOPA: Shut up� STRIFE: So�you aren�t not isn�t not my dad? MAGIKOOPA: �I won�t answer that. Jamey walks up and throws them back to the Contestant�s Building. STRIFE and MAGIKOOPA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! What was that for?! JAMEY: You two were reminiscing too long. STRIFE: Remi-what? MAGIKOOPA: Just keep screaming� They scream all the way back to the Contestants� Building. AUDIENCE: We�re glad that�s over with. BLUE: *Faints twice�again* PEACE: Will we ever stop?! AUDIENCE: No we won�t! BLUE: *Faints unconsciously* KEVER: �It�s a breakthrough! -------------------------------------------------- Back at the Contestants� Building� AARDVARK: I really should�ve eaten those butterflies from earlier... IMAGE: Great, we�re still talking about the butterflies� DESTRUCTION: Hehe, yeah�there�s the Monarch, then the um�the white one� COPPER: And then there�s the flying one, and the winged one, and even the round one! AARDVARK: �Copper, you�re also a loony. COPPER: Well I think you�re a big piece o- At that second, MagiKoopa and Strife flew into his face. COPPER, MAGIKOOPA, and STRIFE: Ow�lumbago� The three hit the Heart Block and restore their HP. AXEM COPPER: 500/500 MAGIKOOPA: 600/600 AXEM STRIFE: 500/500 SNOW: I wonder why we�re still here. JKI: Um� MERCENARY: I�m here too. Where do we keep coming from, anyway?! IMAGE: Gotta leave before it gets too crowded� Aardvark and Image walk to the arena. -------------------------------------------------- Back at the arena� BLUE: Finally, I am awake� AUDIENCE: Won�t. BLUE: *Faints* PEACE: Curses! The Audience, running out of things to do to emote themselves, light themselves on fire. AUDIENCE: Wait, WHAT ARE WE DOING?! STOP LOOK AND LISTEN!!! JAMEY: (thinking) That�s to cross the street�stupid Audience! Oh well, at least there aren�t any Coke Bottles... Image and Aardvark walk to the ring. JAMEY: (To the Audience) Because you�re all morons, I will now announce the next fighters: Axem Aardvark and Axem Image! AUDIENCE: (Still on fire) Yay. Axem Inferno runs by and throws Flame Spheres into the fire. INFERNO: You have no chance to survive make your time! HAHAHA! =NOTE: Happy now, �Ferno? :) The two fighters make their way to their sides of the ring and raise their axes. IMAGE: Yeah, my axe is transparent� JAMEY: I don�t care about anyone! Ready�FIGHT! -------------------------------------------------- The battle begins. AXEM AARDVARK: 601/601 AXEM IMAGE: 400/400 Aardvark is the first to charge in and fires an Energy Orb. Image simply jumps to the side of it and shoots a blue energy sphere. Aardvark blocks this with his axe and charges in again. Images� eyes flash, starting up one of her illusions. Suddenly, three other Axem Images appear on the field. AARDVARK: This can�t be good. IMAGES: Brilliant for a moron! The four Images throw their axes at Aardvark. Aardvark jumps over two of them and blocks the other pair with his axe. The axes return to the Images and they disappear leaving one yellow Axem standing. Once again, Image�s eyes flash. AARDVARK: (thinking) I hate freaky-eye things� Image zips right next to Aardvark and slashes him. Aardvark tries to block with his axe, but...it wasn�t in his hands�or anywhere on the field. AARDVARK: Weird� Image slashes Aardvark twice and he loses 140 HP. AXEM AARDVARK: 446/601 AXEM IMAGE: 400/400 Image jumps away and launches another blue energy orb. Aardvark jumps over it and throws one of his Energy Orbs. Image dashes forward to avoid and attacks Aardvark as soon as he lands. However, when she takes her first step, the ground underneath her explodes, blowing her back. IMAGE: What the shoot?! LORD OF TOH: Yup, shoot. Children read this story� Image takes damage from the blast and from the Energy Orb and loses 180 HP. AXEM AARDVARK: 446/601 AXEM IMAGE: 220/400 IMAGE: (thinking) So my HP-SENSING THAT ALL AXEMS HAVE was right�he did lose 15 extra HP, probably for that energy mine I stepped on�clever little� Aardvark lands back down from his jump and strikes his fists into the ground, creating shockwaves. Image quickly gets up, jumps over them and flashes her eyes at Aardvark again. AARDVARK: (thinking) Crud! Aardvark is suddenly surrounded by hundreds of axes, ready to strike down on him. AARDVARK: (thinking) If I had my axe, this would be a lot easier�hey, wait a second� He looks at his clenched fist, and it�s been gripping something this whole time, but he can�t see it. AARDVARK: Um�I�m holding my axe when it�s not...hey wait, an illusion! Aardvark, seeing through the illusion, has his axe restored. AARDVARK: As for these stupid axes around me, they�re all fake too! None of them disappear. AARDVARK: Uh�they�re all fake, right? IMAGE: Perhaps they are, but since you didn�t actually SEE through it, the image doesn�t disappear! AUDIENCE: What a stupid rule� IMAGE: Quiet you! Aardvark throws an Energy Orb at one of the axes. The attack passes right through it and the axe disappears. He fires another Energy Orb at a different axe, but that one is just an illusion too. AARDVARK: If they all aren�t illusions, then at least ONE of them have to be real! Suddenly, all but one behind him disappear and Aardvark gets slashed in the back. He loses 130 HP. AXEM AARDVARK: 316/601 AXEM IMAGE: 220/400 AARDVARK: Will you just stop with the illusions? IMAGE: �Why should I? AARDVARK: Because they�re annoying! IMAGE: Oh. Image�s eyes flash yet again, and this time, Aardvark is surrounded by evil radishes and happy dancing leprechauns. AARDVARK: What kind of illusion is this? Aardvark is then dressed in a purple chicken costume. IMAGE: A weird one. AARDVARK: Um, I�m already onto this stupid illusion and I know it�s fake. IMAGE: �Ah, that was an easy one. The illusion disappears. Suddenly, all day light is extinguished around the stadium. IMAGE: (thinking) What the�I didn�t do that one� Aardvark, being able to see in the dark, lashes out his tongue and takes away Image�s axe. IMAGE: Hey! I need that! AARDVARK: Well I do too! Aardvark sneaks around the darkened arena and slashes Image with both of the axes. Image senses this early and only gets grazed by one of them and loses 40 HP. AXEM AARDVARK: 316/601 AXEM IMAGE: 180/400 Aardvark also hits Image with an Energy Orb before his Light to Night technique wears off. She loses 90 more HP. Aardvark also loses 20 HP from using his Light to Night technique. AXEM AARDVARK: 296/601 AXEM IMAGE: 90/400 AARDVARK: Haha! Booya, grandma! IMAGE: GRANDMA?! Image�s eyes flash even brighter than before, creating another illusion towards Aardvark. AARDVARK: I�m sick and tired of these freaking illusions! IMAGE: (still glaring) You�ll be sick and tired all right�or burnt and dead!...Minus the dead part since I�m not allowed to kill you. Everything around Aardvark turns white again, and this time he�s in�a kitchen. AARDVARK: Now THIS is another stupid illusion. By the way, I see right through it. The illusion doesn�t go away. AARDVARK: Uh huh�weird� Aardvark uses his SUPER AARDVARK SENSE OF SMELL and notices� AARDVARK: There�s�natural gas�a gas leak from the stove? He then looks out one of the windows and spots the Olympic Torch Runner, headed straight for the house. Also AT THE EXACT SAME TIME, an airplanes� engines fail and it�s headed straight for the house as well! AARDVARK: Really messed up� Aardvark tries to go out of a back door, but the door knob snaps off with a twist. AARDVARK: OK, now I�m just screwed! The torch runner and airplane slam into the house at the same time, engulfing Aardvark in a fireball. AARDVARK: HOLY PARGLES OF DEATH! AAAAHHH!!! Aardvark loses the rest of his HP. AXEM AARDVARK: 0/601 AXEM IMAGE: 90/400 IMAGE: Serves him right for calling me a grandma� END OF EPISODE FIVE |