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| Episode Four |
| Shut Up, Hehehe, and Star Wars |
| On the last episode, Axem Hasaki and JK Ninja fought in the second battle, which decides who fights Destruction in the semi-finals. Though Hasaki had super high Defense, Ninja hit his low Magic Defense score instead to win. Next up: MagiKoopa and Strife! -------------------------------------------------- The Audience takes their seats after their mission. AUDIENCE: The mission to assault Axem Snow and JKI was such a success� -------------------------------------------------- Our camera changes to a nearby forest (Heh, the standard setting) with the bodies of JKI and Axem Snow, nearly unconscious. JKI: Ow�who knew pitchforks and fire hurt that much� SNOW: Almost as bad as Jamey�s Super Duper Upper [okes of Doom� -------------------------------------------------- JAMEY: Whatever. Jamey throws a Life Shroom to Hasaki. AXEM HASAKI: 10/300 HASAKI: (senselessly) Because seven �ate� nine! Haha! Get it? :) EVERYONE ELSE: � Hasaki and JK Ninja walk back to the Contestants� Building. -------------------------------------------------- Back at the Contestant�s Building� The six other fighters walk in from their mission to harass butterflies. IMAGE: What a lame mission� AARDVARK: I liked the part where I blew four of them up! DESTRUCTION: I liked chasing them. That was just pure fun! COPPER: (thinking) And how did I lose to this nutcase?! Hasaki and JK Ninja walk in and hit the Heart Block. AXEM HASAKI: 300/300 JK NINJA: 400/400 NINJA: Ah, sweet relief� SNOW: Hey! That�s my line! NOTE: Snow said that I think last season� JKI: What are we doing in here?! I thought we were severely injured in a forest! SNOW: Until that plot hole swallowed us up, that is! :) STRIFE: Maybe I should just leave right now� MAGIKOOPA: Hehe, burnination of Strife� They walk out to the arena. -------------------------------------------------- Back at the arena� AUDIENCE: Maybe we should�ve made sure Snow and JKI were dead before we left�but we�re lazy. Who wants to do that anyway? Blue faints twice (Yes, twice) from the contractions. PEACE: (Annoyed) Will it ever end?! KEVER: Fat chance� The Audience gets bored and starts throwing their unlimited supply of Coke Bottles. JAMEY: Ha! This season, I came prepared with�FORTIFICATION! Jamey pushes a button on his stadium remote and an energy shield appears around him. AUDIENCE: HEY! You should give US one! They start throwing even harder, causing the shield to malfunction. A rain of bottles pummel Jamey. JAMEY: Ow� MagiKoopa and Strife enter the arena. Jamey gets up. JAMEY: OK, our third fight today puts MagiKoopa against Axem Strife! AUDIENCE: Yay. The two take their sides of the ring, brandishing their weapons. STRIFE: First guy I�ve ever fought with a wand before� JAMEY: Ready�FIGHT! -------------------------------------------------- The battle begins. MAGIKOOPA: 600/600 AXEM STRIFE: 500/500 MagiKoopa waves his wand and launches a Flame Wall at Strife. Strife easily runs around it and comes in to slash MagiKoopa. MagiKoopa blocks the blow with his wand. MAGIKOOPA: Hehehe�I like saying, �Hehehe,� you know� STRIFE: OK, you�re just weird now� A blinding flash emits from the wand. STRIFE: Ack! Uh�mm�zzz� Strife falls asleep. MAGIKOOPA: Hehehe! MagiKoopa waves his wand again at Strife and the area around him explodes. Strife is blown back and lands hard. He loses 100 HP. MAGIKOOPA: 600/600 AXEM STRIFE: 400/500 Strife stirs awake. STRIFE: Ull�gotta watch out for that one� Strife Shoots away from his current position, and keeps Shooting around the ring. MagiKoopa waves his wand, trying to explode Strife again, but Strife is too fast to hit. MAGIKOOPA: Darn it! Hold still! He keeps firing his explosions until Strife slashes him twice in the back. MAGIKOOPA: Hehe-AH! He loses 80 HP. MAGIKOOPA: 520/600 AXEM STRIFE: 400/500 MAGIKOOPA: Shut up. STRIFE: (thinking) I wasn�t talking in the first place�nerd� MagiKoopa sends down several lightning bolts to random spots. Strife keeps Shooting around, dodging them. MAGIKOOPA: I hate you! I HATE EVERYONE! He sends down more Bolts, until one hits very close to Strife, causing him to run into gravel. GRAVEL: Oof. LORD OF TOH: No, not you. Strife loses 20 HP. MAGIKOOPA: 520/600 AXEM STRIFE: 380/500 STRIFE: Well that was stupid. Strife uses Quick Heal and regains 50 HP. MAGIKOOPA: 520/600 AXEM STRIFE: 430/500 Strife Shoots off again. MAGIKOOPA: Have I ever told you how much I HATED you?! STRIFE: No. MAGIKOOPA: Shut up. Strife throws a Quick Shot at MagiKoopa. This hits dead on, but MagiKoopa takes no damage. MAGIKOOPA: Hehehe! Thanks to me nerd-I mean uh, special powers, I have high Magic Defense! HEHEHE! STRIFE: Shut up. Strife charges in and Axe Swipes MagiKoopa. MagiKoopa teleports and Strife completely misses. STRIFE: (thinking) I hate teleportation� MagiKoopa pokes his wand into the back of Strife�s neck, causing him to spontaneously combust (Er, �explode� for you people who can�t even add fractions�) Strife loses 170 HP. MAGIKOOPA: 520/600 AXEM STRIFE: 260/500 STRIFE: Oro� AUDIENCE: That�s a new noise� BLUE: [Faints again] MAGIKOOPA: Hehehe! STRIFE: Shut up. Strife shoots right next to MagiKoopa and while putting his axe to his side. MagiKoopa teleports away and throws a Flame Wall. Strife Shoots around this and right next to MagiKoopa. STRIFE: Hiya. MAGIKOOPA: And shut up! NOTE: Somone count how many times �Hehehe� and �Shut up� are said in this episode. I�m too lazy :) Strife jumps up high in the air. MAGIKOOPA: �It�s another one of those vaguely disturbing things. NOTE: Heh, haven�t said that one in a while� STRIFE: Maybe I can think up a strategy up here�well, my attacks aren�t very effective, so for starters� Strife transforms his axe into a gigantic sword. STRIFE: Next I�ll strike him because that always seems to make him mad. I bet if I� He looks down and positions himself in a way where MagiKoopa cannot look up at Strife because� MAGIKOOPA: ACK! He�s using the sun to his advantage by positioning himself behind it from my angle! I can�t look up�mustn�t strain my poor eyesight as it is. STRIFE: �What a loser�he should move� MAGIKOOPA: Maybe I should move before he hits me down. Strife hits down MagiKoopa with his sword. MagiKoopa loses 150 HP. MAGIKOOPA: 370/600 AXEM STRIFE: 260/500 Strife swings his sword again but MagiKoopa teleports away. STRIFE: Eek! The weight of Strife�s sword makes it hard to stop whenever he misses, so he spends a few seconds adjusting himself. MAGIKOOPA: Hehehe, you�re a loony. STRIFE: Shut up! JAMEY: Quiet you. :) MagiKoopa used the time wasted by Strife to charge up for an attack called Willy Wisp. He waves his wand at Strife, causing white fog to shoot out of it and take the form of a Boo. STRIFE: Me no likey�but me have a plan! Strife spins around rapidly with his axe pointing out, making an Axe Torando, blowing away the mist slowly. MAGIKOOPA: Shut up. He sends a Bolt down and it hits Strife. Strife loses 120 HP. MAGIKOOPA: 270/600 AXEM STRIFE: 140/500 STRIFE: Ow� He uses Quick Heal again and regains 50 HP. MAGIKOOPA: 270/600 AXEM STRIFE: 190/500 MAGIKOOPA: Hehehe! I can do that too! He covers himself in healing magic twice and restores 200 HP. MAGIKOOPA: 470/600 AXEM STRIFE: 190/500 STRIFE: Shut up. LORD OF TOH: (thinking) I am sick of this battle. I�ll just end it right now. MAGIKOOPA: I hear, Strife, that you think that BOWSER is the one that made you. STRIFE: Uh huh� MAGIKOOPA: And to think that I personally know him, and the fact is� STRIFE: �Hehehe?� MAGIKOOPA: That�s right! HEHEHE! I am your FATHER! STAR WARS AGENT: I should sue this Tournament for all it�s worth. STRIFE: Wow, cool! I�m fighting my da-AH! MagiKoopa Teleported next to him and pushed him off the arena platform, thus creating a ring out. JAMEY: That may have been the lamest thing I�ve ever seen, by MagiKoopa is the winner! Strife jumps back onto the arena. STRIFE: Wow, I bet you didn�t want to hurt me anymore, huh? MAGIKOOPA: Hehehe�PSYCHED YOU OUT! OH YEAH! STRIFE: �Man, that is SO lame� END OF EPISODE FOUR |