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| Episode One |
| The Tournament Begins |
| TIME: The morning of the first tournament day. SETTING: Jamey�s Mansion. Our camera focuses on Jamey, wide awake in bed. JAMEY: Don�t wanna get up�I�ll just wait for my alarm clock� Suddenly, a huge SHRIEK is heard in the sky. Jamey gets up. JAMEY: Yeah, that�s the one. -------------------------------------------------- Our camera changes to the sky to an out-of-control airplane. Out of the four engines it has, three of them are broken. The pilot of this plane is Axem Goldenrod. GOLDENROD: I know Cobalt crashes this thing, but I didn�t know she didn�t bother to repair it either! He frantically looks below him for a place to emergency land. He spots the tournament parking lot. GOLDENROD: I wonder how many cars I�ll destroy� He nose dives into a full parking lot. Down below, we can see the ever-so-annoying Audience. AUDIENCE: This scenario again?! Goldenrod quickly pulls up before smashing into the ground and manages to make a perfect landing, pushing six cars out of the way. GOLDENROD: Six poor people� He steps out of the wreckage and faces a gawking Audience. GOLDENROD: Um�look, a cookie! AUDIENCE: WHERE?! Goldenrod runs past the security gates (which go off) and into the sign-in area. There, he meets up with 7 other Axems: Aardvark, Mercenary, Banger, Peace, Firebolt, Snow, and Inferno. AARDVARK: Took you long enough� SNOW: Lemme guess: Traffic? GOLDENROD: Er, something like that. MERCENARY: Never mind that. Time is money, and we�re wasting time standing around here. FIREBOLT: You�re always thinking about money... MERCENARY: And is that a problem? FIREBOLT: �Yes. They meet up with Larry, our familiar employee. Larry is starting to bald since 4 years back. LARRY: Ack! My beautiful hair! SNOW: Hiya, Larry! Larry looks around at the eight fighters and quickly signs them in. LARRY: The tournament starts at 4:00 PM. If you�re late, well too bad. But if you wanna kill some time� Jamey walks into the conversation. JAMEY: The junior division starts in about an hour. BANGER: And�does it look like we want to watch it? PEACE: I do! JAMEY: Then it�s settled! Here are your tickets! INFERNO: Peace, look what you�ve gotten us into! MERCENARY: Maybe I can scalp mine� AARDVARK: I guess we�ll have to go. We don�t want to disappoint Jamey� BANGER: We don�t? -------------------------------------------------- Hours later� The junior division has just ended. Only a few minutes are left until the real tournament starts. Our contestants walk to the Contestant�s Building where they�ll meet Jamey. FIREBOLT: Man, what a waste of time. JAMEY: No kidding. They step inside the brick red Contestant�s Building. JAMEY: First things first. We�ll decide who will fight who by drawing numbers out of that box. Jamey points to a cardboard box near a chalkboard with the tournament ladder drawn on. Peace goes first. She steps up and draws a piece a paper with the number 6 on it. Jamey scribbles her name down for the third fight. Goldenrod goes next. He draws an 8, putting him in the fourth fight. They continue doing this one after another. A few minutes later� JAMEY: Now that�s out of the way, here�s a review. In the first fight, we have Snow and Aardvark! Second is Firebolt and Inferno! Third is Banger and Peace! Last is Mercenary and Goldenrod! EVERYONE: Yay. JAMEY: Now before we begin, I�ll go over some background information. These fights will be held on our usual levitating stadium, hovering 6 feet above the ground. If you happen to lose all your HP, fall out of the ring, or surrender during your fight, you will be eliminated from the tournament. PEACE: Sounds easy enough� JAMEY: The only weapons you may use during your fights are the ones you were born with, so no nun-chucks�or shotguns�sword chucks�You know what I mean. BANGER: Darn. Banger throws his brand new sword-chucks into a nearby trashcan. INFERNO: (thinking) Wait, how does he even hold those things? You can�t hold them by the blades� JAMEY: What else�once again, I will not permit any poking in the eyes, outside summoning, and of course, hitting below the belt. GOLDENROD: Rats. Goldenrod�s strategy of poking in the eyes and hitting below the belt has just been shattered. JAMEY: Lastly, you are not allowed to kill your opponent when fighting. I don�t care how pissed you may be, no killing. If you manage to kill your opponent, you�ll be disqualified and thrown in jail. Got that? MERCENARY: �Perhaps� JAMEY: I guess that�s it! Snow, Aardvark, come with me to the arena. Everyone else, watch from here. EVERYONE ELSE: �Aight. Jamey walks out of the Contestant�s Building to the screaming, enthusiastic Audience. AUDIENCE: Yay. KEVER: I�m here again too. Why am I here anyway?! Jamey pulls out his cordless microphone to make a few announcements. JAMEY: Disgruntled Audience! I present you our third Tournament of Heroes! AUDIENCE: Really� JAMEY: President Axem Fast! Would you like to say a few words before I start off? Everyone focuses their attention to the VIP seats. FAST: Axem Fast says, �Shut up and start!� KEVER: Wow, he�s cooler than usual! JAMEY: All right! Ladies and gentlemen of the Audience, it�s time to start our first match of the season: Axem Snow vs. Axem Aardvark! Snow and Aardvark jump to opposite sides of the ring and face each other. JAMEY: Let the first match begin! Ready�FIGHT! Who will win the first match? Snow or Aardvark? Oh well, who cares. END OF EPISODE ONE |