 |
| Episode Fifteen |
| Real Battle, Stupid Results |
| On the last episode: After destroying the Village of Mystics accidentally (Sort of), our main characters fell for a lame trap and got put into different prisons of an underground base so they can slaughter the guards and break free. Eventually, everyone was gathered in a certain hallway. Yay. -------------------------------------------------- The Lord of SoP starts counting how many people are on each side for the upcoming battle. LORD OF SOP: Let�s see�That�s 11 Balance/Skies fighters against seven Mystics. Great, an imbalance! I gotta do something stupid to fix that� NEUTRON: Well this is going to be a dumb way to spend an episode. STRIFE: Your FACE is a dumb way to spend an episode! EVERYONE ELSE: Oooh� COPPER: Strife brought down da major dissage there, foo! METEORA: Actually, being as awesome looking as I am, I can tell Strife�s retort didn�t make any sense. STRIFE: Uh� Strife charges at Meteora to start a fight. WIZARD: Wait, you barbarians!!! STRIFE: Hehe, Bar Bar was an awesome TV show when I was in first grade :) WIZARD: Seeing as the author is lazy like he�s been reminding you people since Episode 4, we shall hold a bunch of one-on-one fights. PEACE: Or better yet, the writer can be EXTREMELY lazy and just hold only one fight to determine the outcome of both sides. LORD OF SOP: Hey, thanks Peace! The Lord of SoP adjusts the script to Peace�s suggestion. COBALT: Well, now we need to decide who�ll be fighting for our side. STRIFE: I nominate Strife! TYPHOON: I nominate myself! MWAHAHA! IMAGE: ...Now, who really wants to die? STRIFE: I still nominate myself! TYPHOON: I now nominate Strife! LORD OF SOP: But Strife ALWAYS battles. WINDBREAKER: Point taken. Now, who do we care about the least on this team? They all point to Strife. Even Strife points to Strife. WINDBREAKER: Besides him. They all point to Axem Dark Ice (Except Dark Ice, who�s pointing to an Axem Zeus standing by them. ZEUS #4: I�m so honored� Typhoon slashes off Zeus� head, instantly killing him. AXEM ZEUS: [DEAD!!!] DARK ICE: Well, it�s time to bust out my mad skills! HEHEHE! MWEHEHEHE! MASTER: That can�t be normal� -------------------------------------------------- Meanwhile, on the Mystics� side� MOONLIGHT: �So by the high council of Mr. Pogo and The Order of the Deranged Songs Axem Moonlight Sings, we�re going to let the Lord of SoP decide who will fight for us. A flash of Mod Lightning strikes Axem Wizard (Indoors too!) AXEM WIZARD: 500/600 MagiKoopa uses his healing magic to restore Wizard back to full strength. AXEM WIZARD: 600/600 WIZARD: DO NOT help me, you dumb looking nerd face! MAGIKOOPA: [Starting to cry] WIZARD: I, Axem Wizard, shall defeat everyone with my moves of death!!! LORD OF SOP: Well stop talking and start! WIZARD: Shut up! I don�t take orders from you! LORD OF SOP: You�ll have to if you still want to be in this story! WIZARD: What do I care if I�m in this stupid story or not anyway?! LORD OF SOP: Oh, is that a challenge? :) LORD OF TOH: Hey, you�re getting a little carried away there. LORD OF SOP: Yes, I am. I�ll start the fight. AXEM DARK ICE: 700/700 AXEM WIZARD: 600/600 Wizard starts by enchanting his axe with his magical energy. WIZARD: Though my physical attack is poor, this still works unexplainably well! He charges up to Dark Ice and slashes with all his might. Dark Ice blocks with his axe and throws a Dark Ice Orb at Wizard�s face. Wizard rolls away and slashes at Dark Ice�s feet. Dark Ice jumps and CLONKS Wizard on the head with the flat side of his axe. Wizard loses 115 HP. AXEM DARK ICE: 700/700 AXEM WIZARD: 485/600 WIZARD: Ow! That hurt! That hurt like a physical attack hitting my low defense which is my only weakness but is hard to get to! DARK ICE: Oh. Wizard jumps back and fires a flurry of Fire Spheres at Dark Ice. Dark Ice dodges all but one and loses 100 HP. AXEM DARK ICE: 600/700 AXEM WIZARD: 485/600 DARK ICE: MWAHAHA! Because I�m so almighty, I will now explain! My almighty powers of my might just might allow me to stand to the might of your Fire Spheres because uh�MIGHT! MWAHAHA! WIZARD: But that isn�t as awesome as me! And THIS is the right way to laugh: BWAHAHA! DARK ICE: MWAHAHA! WIZARD: HEHEHE! DARK ICE: BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH! WIZARD: PWAHAHA! -------------------------------------------------- Hours later� DARK ICE: Fuh?... WIZARD: Buh� PEACE: Oh just get on with it already! MERCENARY: I�m sure we all know that came from Another ANOTHER Kirby Story. Wizard fires a Mega Drain attack out of his wand towards Dark Ice. Dark Ice jumps over it, but the Mega Drain gets him anyway because it�s that special. He loses 160 HP. AXEM DARK ICE: 440/700 AXEM WIZARD: 485/600 DARK ICE: Whoa, that was cheap� WIZARD: Yeah! Wizard points his staff again at Dark Ice and fires a beam of fire at Dark Ice. Dark Ice side-flips to dodge but barely touches it and loses 60 HP. AXEM DARK ICE: 380/700 AXEM WIZARD: 485/600 COBALT: Come on, Dark Ice! Don�t be such a loser! MASTER: You�re representing the whole Village of Balance! COPPER: Freeze dat sucka, my homey D! SNOW: If you lose, you�re out of the family! DARK ICE: What family?! I�m not related to you! SNOW: Er, I was just stealing from the Simpsons. Dark Ice shoots a concentrated mist at Wizard. Before the Dark Icy Mist hits Wizard, a barrier erects in front of him, stopping the attack. DARK ICE: (Sarcastically) Well that�s fair. WIZARD: Shut up! Dark Ice summons millions of icy shards around him and launches them at Wizard. WIZARD: Behold! More stunning POWER! MWAHAHA! The barrier from earlier stops the attack. Again. DARK ICE: (Sarcastically) Well that�s fair. WIZARD: Heck yeah! Wizard sacrifices 100 HP to his energy shield� AXEM DARK ICE: 380/700 AXEM WIZARD: 385/600 �And in exchange� AXEM WIZARD: 385/600 (With impervious shield) STRIFE: Im�per�vise? Improvise? Psh, even I can do THAT! :) DARK ICE: Well I�m kinda screwed. Wizard fires three more ASTOUNDINGLY ACCURATE Mega Drain attacks to Dark Ice. DARK ICE: Ack! I must break the shield of invincibility to make him�regular. Crap! That still wouldn�t work! He�s just too cheap for me! The Mega Drains soon hit and Dark Ice loses the rest of his HP. AXEM DARK ICE: 0/700 AXEM WIZARD: 385/600 (With impervious shield) SNOW: Dark Ice! Snow looks up at Wizard. SNOW: Wizard, that was cheap! WIZARD: Shut up! I don�t listen to anyone! Wizard quickly launches his Flame Blast at Snow. Snow loses all of his HP. AXEM SNOW: 0/600 WIZARD: Anyway, our side has won! Your side has lost! And since our side has won and your side has lost, we are the winners and you are the losers! We are victorious! You have been defeated! Peace revives Dark Ice and Snow. AXEM DARK ICE: 100/700 AXEM SNOW: 100/600 The Skies and Balance fighters run away as Wizard keeps gloating. WIZARD: �Your side has been taken down! But not ours! We are still standing! We are not taken down! But yours has! And our cuisine reigns supreme! FEAR: Wizard? WIZARD: The winners are us! But it�s actually me! I did all the fighting! And I won! Like I said a few times before! NEUTRON: Hey, they�re getting away� WIZARD: �Any team without me on it is futile! I�m the only one a team needs! All other members are extraneous! Superfluous! Unneeded pieces of trash that� Wizard�s six team mates jump him while brandishing their weapons. Eventually� AXEM WIZARD: 0/600 AUDIENCE: And we thought today would be boring� JAMEY: At least we killed another Zeus this episode. AARDVARK: MARBLES! END OF EPISODE FIFTEEN NOTE TO WIZARD: Not meant to offend you: These are your old stats after all. I�m just making fun of these character stats you�ve created ;) |