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| Episode Eight |
| Ridiculous! |
| On the last episode, our five favorites characters along with Axem Image (Yeah, she isn�t a favorite. MWAHAHA!) went back to the Village of the Skies, which was currently under attack by the Village of Blades. After many gore-filled lines, they stumbled on Jamey�s TOP SECRET DOCUMENT OF EVILNESS. The only thing that mattered: Jamey will destroy the other villages, take their �Shards of Power� and rule all of Neptune (Or just the country of Danpen). -------------------------------------------------- The six keep reviewing Jamey�s TOP SECRET DOCUMENT OF EVILNESS. IMAGE: How long will we be staring at this anyway? STRIFE: Yes, good point. He grabs the huge, important report and rips it up. STRIFE: There! Let�s go! MERCENARY: Chances are, we might�ve needed that in the future. So� PEACE: We�re screwed�again. WINDBREAKER: Which village should we destroy now by complete accident? Peace examines Jamey�s Map with the Lego models that symbolize the villages. PEACE: Seeing as we got hit by the Village of Blades, let�s pay them a visit� TYPHOON: Great! Now we have to waste YET ANOTHER episode getting there! -------------------------------------------------- Hours later� They arrive in front of the Village of Blades. TYPHOON: �Or not. LORD OF SOP: What, did you want to wrestle with T-Rexes and Killer Bees again? IMAGE: There is only one graceful way to enter�And that�s to charge in unprepared, hoping we don�t get stopped :) MERCENARY: But seeing as you just said that, we probably will�Oh well, let�s go! They take a step forward, but immediately fall into a trap hole. STRIFE: Hey! Pet worms! :) TYPHOON: Shut up, Strife! VOICE: Oh yeah! PARGLE in da hizzy! Who should be the leader NOW? They look up and see a rather ridiculous looking brown Axem, with AARDVARK characteristics. Standing next to the AXEM that looks like an AARDVARK is a JR. KOOPA dressed in KNIGHT�S armor, and another AXEM that um�looks like AXEM HASAKI. HASAKI: HEY! DESCRIPTION! Fine, you�re a clump of metal that talks in all caps, with only one word each sentence. In other words, a kitchen appliance gone horribly wrong. HASAKI: THANKS! KNIGHT: Because I am so noble and honorable, I shall not strike our foes while they are down. AARDVARK: Psh, that�s why you SHOULDN�T be leader. KNIGHT: But I am not a leader, just a simple noble and honorable knight. HASAKI: �LEADER? KNIGHT: You�re not the leader either. So let�s be noble and honorable (like me) and do this the right way�Rock Paper Scissors, the winner takes control. HASAKI: FINE! They start playing Rock Paper Scissors, but they all keep throwing Rock. AARDVARK: Well I�ll stone you! :) KNIGHT: This certainly isn�t going noble and honorable like it should be. HASAKI: (Thinks of way to say, �Shut up� in one word) �SHUP! PEACE: Why must this story be filled with morons� All six trapped fighters have gotten out of the pit. WINDBREAKER: Can we jump �em? PEACE: �Yes. They advance over to Knight and beat the crud out of him. KNIGHT: ACK! Dishonorable! JK KNIGHT: 0/600 AARDVARK: Darn! Now we�ll never decide! MERCENARY: And to think, we haven�t even set foot in the village yet� The six step foot in the village when� AARDVARK: Hey! Can one of you cure Knight? STRIFE: (Randomly) I DECLARE WAR ON EVERYONE BECAUSE YOUR GRANDMAS SMELL FUNNY! VILLAGERS: What?! That�s it! A silly looking war breaks out with all the villagers against the six. TYPHOON: �I hate you, Strife� STRIFE: (Grinning) Just doing my job! They put their weapons into their Axem/Jr. Koopa Pockets that Don�t Exist and start punching villagers out. VILLAGERS: Get them while talking in unison! Swords rain down from the building tops and onto the villagers. They somehow catch them as they come. ARMED VILLAGERS: Stabbity! AARDVARK and HASAKI: STOP! ARMED VILLAGERS: Uh huh� AARDVARK: We still need someone to revive Knight so we can complete our Rock Paper Scissors match! Peace thinks for a second. PEACE: Hm�I�ll heal if you call off this whole battalion! AARDVARK: (Not sarcastic) DEAL! I mean, not like you started anything stupid or KO�d Knight in the first place. She walks over to Knight�s body and revives him. JK KNIGHT: 600/600 KNIGHT: My nobility! I�m honorably awake! LORD OF SOP: I think the viewers are already sick of that. KNIGHT: Ah, gee whiz� :) The villagers return to their daily lives in an orderly fashion. VILLAGERS: Let�s stab each other back to work! *Cuts to scene of mass massacre, where in minutes, all the villagers are dead except Aardvark, Knight, and Hasaki.* WINDBREAKER: Wow! We didn�t even mean to this time! TYPHOON: Windbreaker, we never mean it ANYTIME. We just destroy villages on ACCIDENT for FUN. He lets out more of his evil laughter, but wonders if what he says made sense. AARDVARK: Right. So, what did you come here for? PEACE: Um�Nothing� They start walking away until� TITANIUM, SAPPHIRE, AND MINJO APPEAR! TITANIUM: Hahaha! Didn�t expect to see us again, huh? KNIGHT: Who in the bajeevus is that? TITANIUM: I am Axem Titanium, Prince of the non-existent Village of Guardians! SAPPHIRE and MINJO: We�re stuck being lackeys. HASAKI: OH. TITANIUM: We have come to say our revenge has been fulfilled! Axem Fast�s grave was vandalized by US! HAHAHA! TYPHOON: That�s fine with me� TITANIUM: And um�Uh�Hey! Aardvark looking Axem! They killed my parents! AARDVARK: Oh, that�s it! LET�S GET �EM! KNIGHT and HASAKI: YEAH! Titanium, Sapphire, Minjo, Aardvark, Knight and Hasaki DECLARE WAR on Windbreaker, Peace, Strife, Mercenary, Typhoon and Image. IMAGE: So what was the point of this again? SIX OTHER FIGHTERS: YEAH! LORD OF SOP: Just another one of those vaguely disturbing things� -------------------------------------------------- At a secret, EVIL mountain lair� Jamey has relocated his personal belongings. JAMEY: (Unpacking Kirby merchandise) Who cares if I didn�t pack when I left? NOW I DID! He lets out his evil laughter for nearly the tenth time. AUDIENCE: Enough already! JAMEY: Shut up! [Throws a Plush Kirby at the cameraman, who DIVES IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA to save the show] CAMERAMAN: Ack�Dying� JAMEY: MWAHAHA! Now to check my Seeing Stone� He looks into the Seeing Stone that Doesn�t Really Exist Yet to find the six-on-six battle. JAMEY: Oh, whatever� He unpacks his Kirby Vacuum Cleaner and sanitizes the carpets. JAMEY: Stupid �Evil Mastermind�s Secret Base Realty Broker� from OPERATION Goose-Juice!... -------------------------------------------------- Back to the new battleground� AARDVARK: Luckily, the Lord of SoP added in those other three characters for this fight. Otherwise, it�d just be a repeat of what happened at the Village of Guardians. TITANIUM: SILENCE! I HATE YOU, AARDVARK! MERCENARY: Wow, even I couldn�t expect a battle to ACTUALLY take place in this story. LORD OF SOP: [Shrugging] Me neither. END OF EPISODE EIGHT |