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| Episode Five |
| Insert Title Here! |
| When we last left Jamey, he was attempting to cut down a tree with a herring. JAMEY: Stupid herring! HERRING: Hey! Fish have feelings too! JAMEY: Who cares! Jamey throws the herring at the tree, knocking it over onto the end of a see saw and catapulting a small child into the sky. JAMEY: MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Now nothing can stop me from taking over all of Greenland! No, you�re the GOOD guy. JAMEY: Oh yeah. Just then Really Evil Person Who�s Really Evil Man flies overhead in his giant flying sausage. REALLY EVIL PERSON WHO�S REALLY EVIL MAN: MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WITH THE MODERATOR KNIFE NOTHING CAN STOP ME FROM TAKING OVER ALL OF GREENLAND!!! JAMEY: But I�ve got the Moderator Spoon and the Moderator Fork! REALLY EVIL PERSON WHO�S REALLY EVIL MAN: MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA TOO BAD, �CAUSE YOU NEED THE REST OF THE MODERATOR ITEMS TO DEFEAT ME!!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! JAMEY: CRAP! CRAP: What? JAMEY: No, I just meant it as an exclamation of frustration, such as NOOOOOOO! or KILL ME NOW! NOOOOOOO: Huh? KILL ME NOW: I�m here. Just then something happens for some reason and now Jamey�s in China. JAMEY: Vague, yet convenient! Then Jamey sees a sign that says �HOW CHOW PING YING MU SHU PORK� HOMER: Mmm� Pork� JAMEY: Too bad I can�t read Chinese. CHINA MAN: Who says it�s in Chinese? JAMEY: Who says you can speak English? CHINA MAN: The narrator. JAMEY: Oh. CHINA MAN: You must hurry before the government finds you here and takes you to their top secret base! JAMEY: If it�s so secret then how do you know about it? CHINA MAN: Know about what? JAMEY: About the top secret base! CHINA MAN: What top secret base? Just then a helicopter falls out of the sky and a guy comes out and points a turnip at Jamey. CHINA MAN WITH TURNIP: I�ve got a turnip and I know how to use it! JAMEY: How DO you use it? CHINA MAN WITH TURNIP: Um� Crickets chirp. CHINA MAN WITH TURNIP: Well you�re coming with me anyway! JAMEY: Okay. China man with turnip takes Jamey inside the helicopter, which falls back up into the sky before falling back down on the top secret base. CHINA MAN WITH TURNIP: Welcome to our pop secret base! JAMEY: POP secret? CHINA MAN WITH TURNIP: What can I say, we like popcorn. Now go! China man with turnip leads Jamey into the pop secret base and past a bunch of hallways with conveniently placed windows. Inside one of these windows is� JAMEY: Batman! But inside another window is� JAMEY: The Moderator Bowl! China man with turnip leads Jamey past several thousand more conveniently placed windows until he reaches a door at the end. They go through the door and find� JAMEY: Wait� this is exactly where we started from! CHINA MAN WITH TURNIP: It�s required that I give all prisoners the tour. Now for the real part! China man with turnip takes Jamey through the other door and now they�re in a room with a bunch of other Chinese guys who, for the sake of space, all speak at the exact same time. CHINESE GUYS: Fung tso moog chwa zing! TRANSLATION: We can�t speak English! JAMEY: Why not? CHINESE GUYS: Kung fu karate ju jitsu! TRANSLATION: Ask the narrator! JAMEY: I have to escape! Jamey sees a door on the other side of the room and runs through it. CHINESE GUYS: Judo kung pow taco bell! TRANSLATION: After him! In the other side of the door Jamey finds� THE MODERATOR BOWL!!! JAMEY: Impossible, yet convenient! Suddenly, Chinese man with turnip comes through the door and throws his turnip at him. Jamey grabs the turnip and the top turns into a helicopter blade and Jamey flies through the ceiling. JAMEY: Bizarre, yet convenient! META KNIGHT #6: Word up, dawg! NOW THAT JAMEY HAS 3 MODERATOR ITEMS, WHAT WACKY ADVENTURE WILL HAPPEN NEXT?????????????????????? WILL HE EVER ACTUALLY USE ANY OF THE MODERATOR ITEMS??????????????????????? WILL MY POPCORN EVER BE DONE?????????????????????? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON THE ADVENTURES OF JAMEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |