TITLE: Family
AUTHOR: Jess
(aka SpikedAngel, ethi)
PAIRING:
Angel/Spike
CHAPTER:
Family is Hurt, 4/?
RATING: R...
eventually
SUMMARY: Angel
comes back from hell, Spike helps him recover.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters, they belong to Joss but let me
play with my boys.
WEBSITE:
A/N: Here’s
the next chappy, let me know what ya’s think and any advice or ideas for
upcoming chapters. Oh and if anyone’s willing to beta just let me know.
Warning, slight Buffy-bashing...
Family is Hurt
Buffy looked
at him with a weird expression across her face, “Well of course we need to
catch up, but how about for now we just go back to where we left things off?”
She said and closed her eyes tilted her face up to him waiting for him to kiss
her.
Angel sighed
inwardly, he really did not feel like dealing with her at the moment. That was
one of the things that had always come between them before was that she always
thought that everything was about her, Angel had ignored it passing it off as
part of her adjusting to being the slayer but now it was just downright
irritating.
“Buffy has
Giles ever told you anything about vampire relationships? Sire/childe
relationships?” He asked her hoping that she would catch on and he wouldn’t
have to spell it out for her.
“You mean like
that you taught him to feed and all? I thought Dru sired him anyway...” Buffy
said, apparently today wasn’t Angel’s lucky day.
“Often it’s a
little more complicated than that, and maybe sometime I will go into it with
you but for now I’m lacking in the time department,” he said trying to make it
quick, each passing second was a further step away that Spike could be.
“Basically vampires and their childer are often intimate... like I was with
Spike.”
“Oh,” Buffy
said pausing, “you know what Angel, its ok, I can forgive you for it if you
promise to make it up to me.” She said flirtatiously.
Angel was
horrified, “I don’t want forgiveness for it, I didn’t do anything wrong, the
only wrong thing would be leaving Spike.”
Buffy looked
confused. Angel sighed, she just wasn’t getting it.
“So you and
Spike used to be together?” Then again maybe she was, “and you feel guilty
about leaving him... Ooook so what does that have to do with anything?” Or not.
Angel took a
deep breath and tried to talk in slow short sentences so there would be no
confusion. “You’re not really getting it Buffy. Spike is my childe. We used to
be involved in a sexual relationship. I left him after I got a soul. I
shouldn’t have. Yes I do feel guilty. It has everything to do with us because
that’s the thing. I still love him.”
Buffy looked
flabbergasted, her mouth dropped open and her hand went to cover it as though
she wasn’t able of shutting it herself and needed some sort of replacement
covering it. Angel didn’t know what to do, he felt kind of bad for somewhat
dumping this on her so bluntly but he’d tried the subtle approach and it hadn’t
seemed to work.
“But how can
you love him? He’s a killer, Angel. He murdered so many people in cold blood.
He’s disgusting.”
Angel tried to
control the rage building up inside him, if he was human he would be taking
nice, deep breaths right about now but he wasn’t so he just tried to calm down.
“Buffy, what
exactly do you think I am?” He asked in a very controlled voice. He continued
without waiting for her to reply, “that’s right a vampire. We’re all killers,
murderers and yes we do it in cold.”
“But you have
a soul, you’re different.”
“Am I?” Angel
asked raising an eyebrow, “A soul doesn’t make me not kill, all it does is make
me feel guilty if I do, so really I still am a killer. As for Spike, he’s only
what I made him, everything he’s done I taught him how. I’m the evil one,
disgusting some might say.”
Buffy didn’t
reply, she just ran out of the room covering her face with her hands. Angel
watched as she left the room, normally he would feel guilty for being so harsh
with her but after the way she’d insulted Spike he didn’t really care.
Spike. Spike
was one area of his life where he’d made so many mistakes, not only had he
killed William, but he’d treated him badly during his years as Angelus and then
abandoned him. He couldn’t say he regretted turning William though, otherwise
it would be like saying that he would want to take back those decades they
spent together and Angel couldn’t do that.
As for his
treatment of William as Angelus, Angel couldn’t really say that it was entirely
Angelus, because part of Angel still wanted to possess Spike and that was
really why Angelus had done it.
He buried his
head in his hands when he thought about their conversation only minutes ago.
Did Spike really mean that he would have accepted him? God how much time he’d
wasted, and how much more he was wasting by not going after him. He stood up
and smelled the air, he could smell that Spike had gone downstairs through to
the sewers.
He jumped down
into the sewer and used his vampiric senses and the Sire/Childe bond to help him
track down Spike. He could smell the cigarette smoke before he saw him.
“Spike,” Angel
started.
“Peaches,”
Spike replied inhaling smoke into his dead lungs.
“About
before... did you really mean that?” Angel asked cautiously.
“Wouldn’t have
said it if I didn’t.” Spike replied, still not meeting his eyes.
“I’ve made so
many mistakes,” Angel said taking a step towards him and seeing Spike flinch
away slightly. “I know you can’t forgive me, but I wanted to tell you I’m sorry
anyway.”
“That’s the
thing, I do forgive you.” Spike said, “I always will, no matter what you do,
you can beat me, torture me, fuck you can stake me and I’ll still forgive you
whilst I’m burning away in hell. That’s the problem, while I keep forgiving you
I keep getting hurt.”
“I won’t hurt
you,” Angel said, “not again.”
“I’d like to
believe that,” Spike said honestly, “I really would, but I can’t do that. If I
let you back in then I’ll get hurt again and God knows it would probably break
me.”
Angels
heart sunk, the damage that he had done to his boy was beginning to set in, he
just hoped that somehow he could prove that he’d changed and that he wouldn’t
hurt him again.
A/N: Hey, what
do ya’ll think so far? Sorry it took me so long to update. Feedback, reviews?