TITLE: Everyone loves Spike!

AUTHOR: AmethystxX

CHAPTER: 4

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own ANY characters in this fiction, I am borrowing them while their owners glare at me whimper

PAIRING: main Angel/Spike, but others love Spikie

SUMMARY: Angel's being cancelled! This is the day and the life of the characters when they're not filming. Which means 'Everyone Loves Spike!' Without plot basically. [SLASH]

NOTES: I thought my first fiction should be silly just to get the jist of writing.

…………………………..

WOLFRAM AND HART NEXT MORNING:

Front Desk of Wolfram and Hart, early morning:

As every other morning the doors of Wolfram and Hart opened, nothing special about that. Also there was nothing special about the employees who came in to work every morning. What was special and certainly a big surprise was to see Lorne, above the front desk hanging from the ceiling, spread-eagled, and gagged with a note covering his privates:

‘Little Willy’

I know what you’re thinking, like good honest citizens they took down Lorne, while the guys covered him up with expensive robes and the ladies cooed over him.

This is Wolfram and Hart we’re talking about.

They stood in front of Lorne, got out their cameras, took many pictures while laughing and made a new achievement board.

‘Most embarrassed loser of the year’

Joss Whedon: “My, My well isn’t that an embarrassing situation. Oh well boys will be boys.” He wanders off.

Lorne: gagged “’elp me!”

ANGELS OFFICE:

Harmony: “Now that everyone has calmed down from the excitement of chaining up Lorne” snickers all round “Because of that pathetic fight Collin and Jase got into, that has lowered their scores dramatically”

Illyria: “We have decided not to with draw you two from the contest otherwise there would not be enough people to choose from as ‘Spikes most compatible lover’ just because of that you are both still in the contest”

Oz: “I still say they should be disqualified, I mean they both knocked each other out at the same time with a single punch, its frightening that a guy can be that much of a sissy!”

Jase: “I AM NOT A BLOODY SISSY!”

Collin: “Neither am I! He kicked me in my meat and two veg! I was BARELY thinking straight through the pain!”

Jase had the dignity to at least feel a little guilty.

Collin: “My poor babies, I don’t even know if they’ll work properly after this contest”

Xander: “Yes anyway what do these poor ‘buggers’ as Spike would say have to do next”

Adrian: “Yeah, I’m getting tired from waiting instead of showing our love! ANGEL STOP FEELING UP SPIKE!”

In the corner Angel was whispering very quietly to Spike while Spike giggled as he placed his hand on his thigh.

Angel: “Oh quit your groaning advert-

Adrian: “ADRIAN!”

Angel: “Whatever, you’re just getting all anti because you aren’t getting who hands on this piece of male flesh”

Gunn: “I’m getting sick of this”

Wesley: “Me too, I may love Spike but doing all these contests to convince him is getting tiring”

Illyria: “I think we should withdraw Gunn and Wesley from the contest since they are too busy making puppy eyes at each other to care about loving Spike anymore”

They blush and take a few steps away from each other, WITHOUT denying the puppy eyes comment.

Harmony: “I agree since they don’t seem to be denying it. Oh for the love of God Angel! LET GO OF ADRIANS NECK! HE’S TURNING PURPLE!”

Illyria: “Yes Spike do stop Angel from killing Advert-Adrian- sorry!, Come on Angel! He was the one who found Lorne!”

Angel: grumbling “Fine, just because he found Lorne”

He releases Adrian who then proceeds to flop like a fish on the floor, grabbing up as much oxygen as he can.

Harmony: “O.k. like I was going to say, the next test shall be-“

Andrew: “Oh my God Spike! Is that really you?”

(A/N: Andrew hasn’t seen Spike since the apocalypse)

There, at the doors stood Andrew, with Giles at his side, who was looking at Spike as though he was the most precious object in the universe.

Spike: “Erm…yeah mate! In the flesh!”

In an instant Andrew had gathered up Spike into his arms while cooing over him.

Andrew: “Oh God! Your back and more beautiful than ever!” he kisses both of Spikes cheeks before Angel butts in with a growl.

Angel: Grabbing Spike “Keep your human hands off of my boy!”

Spike: raises eyebrow “Your Boy…?”

Angel: Sheepish “I never meant to say that…”

Xander: “Yo G-Man! How’s it hanging?”

Giles: “I’m ‘Hanging’ just fine Xander, and don’t call me G-Man!”

Oz: Growls “Hey Giles watch the angst he’s my new mate!”

Giles: Gulps “Y-yes c-course”

 

Harmony: “ANYWAY BEFORE I GET INTERUPTED YET AGAIN! What on earth on you guys doing up this neck of the woods”

Andrew: Glaring at Angel “We heard about Angel’s undying love for Spike and thought we’d come and stop it!”

Jase: “Oh here we go again”

Adrian: “Who doesn’t bloody know about Spike’s love life?!”

Collin: “Yes, I’m starting to doubt this love contest if EVERYONE knows about it!”

Angel: “What do you mean stop it?! YOU JUST WANT HIM ALL TO YOUR SELF”

Andrew: Gasps “Well I never! I just came to help out a friend in need! And even as I’m saying that you’ve got you face on his neck! SAVE IT FOR ANOTHER LOVER ASS HOLE!”

Angel: Growls “Oh you’ll pay for that jack as-“

Suddenly, Cole pops out of nowhere looking very worse for wear. His hair has grown out, he has dirt streaks on his face and clothing, he’s lost his shoes and he now has hairy feet.

Spike: “Ewww!”

Angel: “Damn right”

Collin: “Isn’t that, that Cole fella?”

Oz: “And he popped out of nowhere like Spike said he did”

Illyria: “He smells”

Giles: “Yes he does rather pong doesn’t he”

Xander: “Shush! Let the poor bozo speak!”

Cole slowly walks up to the group.

Cole: Whispers “Never underestimate a hobbit!”

He then proceeds to run from the building screaming.

Giles: “Can someone PLEASE explain to me what on earth is happening here”

Harmony: “I’ll fill you in later, Alright boys what you need to do is work out to get rid of all that flab-That means you Angel-“ He growls “So hop to it my little lover boys and get some muscles!”

Illyria: Whispers, “I don’t think we should continue, we already know who’s won!”

Harmony: whispers “Yes but they don’t know that”

Andrew: “Its incredibly rude to whisper”

Harmony: “Oh quit whining”

Illyria gives Andrew a look who blushes

Illyira: “This one lusts for me”

Andrew: “Don’t flatter yourself, its just the outfit”

Illyria: “Don’t question my authority human, what I say goes!”

Andrew: whimpers “Of course”

Giles: whispers to Andrew “I don’t think you should toy with this one”

Andrew: whispers “Are you kidding? She’s hot when she’s all powerful”

Illyria: “I’m over 10,000 years old and have been shoved into a human shell”

Andrew: whispers to Giles “Maybe I should steer clear of her”

Illyria: “Who says I am female?”

Spike: “Listen everyone I’m getting bored just get on with the contest I’m going upstairs”

Andrew: “I’ll come with”

Andrew smirks as Angel growls.

Oz: “Yeah me and Xander are going to find an empty office”

Giles: “Why?”

Oz gives Giles a look.

Giles: “Oh yes of course”

Oz: “You may be smart Giles but you are incredibly slow”

Giles: “Watch your mouth boy, remember I’ve still got Ripper in me”

Oz: “Of course you do Giles!”

The three walk out of the room arguing while Spike and Andrew chill upstairs.

Harmony: “I’m going to find Hamilton so he can give me a back rub!”

Illyria: “Boys hurry up and get some muscles, this is the last contest”

Everyone runs out of the room leaving Illyria alone with her silence.

Illyria: “I really hate humans”

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Next Chapter

 

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