Madame Cleo busted for fraud.
Insert your own psychic or tarot pun here.

Here's the 411.

I need more useless stuff
I have a huge desk here at home. It's about 5' long and almost 2 1/2' in depth. It doesn't have overhead shelves like the desks RPI gives to each student. It does have a bunch of drawers, though. But anyway, I don't use like half of my desk's surface area for anything constructive. It's piled with all sorts of useless crap, many things in which I forgot were there until I made up this list of things currently on my desk as I type this:

-- my computer (all but the case)
-- a desk lamp (go figure)
-- a blue pen cap
-- 11 empty cd jewel cases
-- a CDR of Pure Funk
-- a stick of mint-flavored chapstick
-- a half-empty bottle of red NyQuil (or is it half-full?)
-- a USB-to-PS/2 converter
-- a tall glass filled with about 24 colored pencils I have never used
-- a small metal piggy bank that only has dimes in it
-- my high school prom photo
-- a mini-maglite
-- a dull metallic butterfly knife that used to belong to Frank
-- my old Microsoft wheelmouse (I got a new mouse recently)
-- papers and envelopes. Lots of them. I should probably look at them at some time.
-- a 2-pack of size D batteries
-- a pair of Cross pens still in their original cases/boxes/whatever
-- headphones that came with my portable cd/mp3 player
-- directions to Jon's mother's house. Seriously.
-- a DIMM of 32MB PC66 SDRAM currently stored in a beat up plastic container
-- my wallet and keys, although those are usually on my nightstand
-- dust

Mmm, tastes like red.
Hey, how's it going? Got a lot of Valentine's Day cards? I didn't think so. You know why? 'Cause you suck. No one likes you. You’re a scourge upon this earth and you and your green-NyQuil-drinking ass deserve to be beaten daily with a rusty tire iron. You bastard. You might as well go drink something under the kitchen sink. Why don't you go cry to your mommy right now? She's waiting for you.

I kid, I kid. Maybe.

Two weeks ago, I mentioned a SA vs Fark Photoshop contest with the theme "TV Shows that will never be made." The runner-ups were presented at that time. And the finalists and winners were released a couple days ago.

And as a bonus, here's some fossilized vomit. Yum!

Last new Family Guy episode (ever?) tonight.
I think I'm gonna weep openly if FOX goes forth and axes this show as supposedly planned. It's not the last time the show will be aired, though, which contradicts some stories I have heard. Two weeks from now, both of those episodes featuring Death are gonna be aired, so I don't know what FOX's deal is. But at least next week FOX decided it would be better to air Glutton Bowl: The World's Greatest Eating Competition instead of more Family Guy re-runs:

A field of 40 contestants competes. Qualifying rounds in speed and quantity include bowls of mayonnaise, beef tongue and sticks of butter, with a surprise “delicacy” in the finals. Sanctioned by the International Federation of Competitive Eating. Host: Mark Thompson.

Oh yeah. Sign me up for that. :p I think I'd rather be part of a frolicking threesome with Roseanne Barr and Bea Arthur than watch that show. And there's an International Federation of Competitive Eating? What the fuck?

There's love in the air.
The Goat might not get along with everyone, but you certainly have your favorites at the moment. The Water Signs are happy to include you in their projects, parties and outings, and you are perfectly happy to be in their company. Writers and musicians find visual ways to communicate through their media, and technical people find their niche as well. Clear your social calendar, Capricorn -- it looks like all types of relationships in your life benefit from this influx of positive energy.

Hmm, I wonder if this anything to do with how the planets are aligned although the horoscope doesn't mention any such alignments, or if they are just being nice since today is Valentine's Day. I predict the latter.

I was thinking of decorating this site with shades of red and pink and an appropriately themed background just for today, but I'm a slacker. Besides, maybe a half of a dozen people would see it before it reverted back to the blues on the 15th. Oh well. There's always St. Patrick's Day. Or Albany's "Kurt Angle, My Olympic Hero" Day. We'll see.

If you don't mind me, I have to go spend the day with all of my hot female celebrity lovers. Then, I'll probably end things on a high note by getting a little somethin' somethin' from your mother. Bah-zing! ;p

Ciao.

Hey, you there?
I've been a man of few words lately. My day-to-day routine is rarely broken up by some post-worthy experience, and it's usually a better idea to not force posts. It tends to hurt one's overall writing quality, you know? No one likes reading diluted pieces of shit anyhoo.

I watched Olympic curling yesterday. What a joke that game is. If that's an Olympic sport, they should definitely take Lewis Black's advise and make giving head an Olympic event. "It's harder than curling will ever be, and if you're any good at it, you deserve a medal!"

I've been saving up links for about a week that may be worth looking at. I don't really remember where all of them are from, but I'm sure I've linked to those respective sites millions of times and the usual sites are linked in the left column somewhere anyway.

In case the world runs out of crude oil and natural gas and companies like Texaco go under, you may want to invest in places like Popeye's and KFC. Why? Because the University of Georgia has devised a way to heat the campus with chicken fat without having the smell of deep-fried extra crispiness everywhere. Interesting. Maybe once we run out of natural resources, chickens and other animals, I wonder if perhaps we could try using wind and/or solar power... Nah.

We couldn't use vegetable oil for the above because we have to save it for deep-frying potatoes and letting Heinz make chocolate-covered french fries. After all, green and purple ketchup weren't disturbing enough. The reason for these fries is "for kids with a sweet tooth." Yeah... Can one dip chocolate fries in purple ketchup? I don't think so. Sounds like they're competing against themselves in the children food market. Other Heinz products in the works: blue french fries and cinnamon and sugared potato rings.

And maybe Mr. Clueless IT Boss shouldn't be baking french fries or pizza or whatever when he decided to dry off his Palm Pilot in "teh oven." I guess he should have invested in one hell of a heatsink and fan combo if he was gonna let it succumb to such extreme heat. ;)

D'ya like how I made all three unrelated events sound somewhat related? Yeah, I'm a smooth operator.

This looks pretty
If you like online role-playing games check this link out. Looks like a new game with the Star Wars theme is coming out. Damn, it's a friggin geek's dream come true!

Moving Sucks
Well, I moved last weekend.... It was kinda fun. The best part was pulling couches up to our second floor appartment by rope because the stairs are to narrow. I'm tired.

Hello!
How are you today?