What the...?
I'm kinda speechless. I don't know what can be said about this product. I suggest you visit it and make a judgement call for yourself. Then order fifty like I did. The testimonials and the short paragraph you'll find once you reach the site's second page are pretty funny, too. Kiddies under the age of 18 may want to go to this site instead.

Made some site changes.
Fixed some outdated material on the bio page. I kinda want to add more info about by myself on that page, but I'm fresh out of ideas of what to add. Spam me with your ideas or something.
Changed some of the misc links. Included the surveys and polls I've mentioned in past posts.
Added more pretty pictures. It even includes some geocaching pics from many moons ago. Woo!
I'm probably gonna tweak the online gaming page a bit.
I may add a new survey tomorrow or on Saturday. I gotta think up of a new topic, though. Hmmm...
The abandoned projects and my links to friends pages are broken. Well, they work, but since almost everyone's RPI account has been nuked (it's what you get when you graduate... why is mine still active?), most of the links on those pages are dead. There ain't too much I can do about that.

I need more pretty pictures. Someone send me some. Bonus points if they include me in them, heh.

Anyone local have a GPS and want to go geocaching with me? I'm feeling the urge to get lost in the woods again.

The NFL season starts this weekend.
Just bring it.

Morning glory
Don't you hate it when your stomach rumbles for more food but you had breakfast not even a half an hour ago? And your stomach doesn't care, it just wants more food? And then you're like, "No! You ain't getting more food. Wait until lunch!" but you're stomach is like, "Screw you, feed me you bastard!" Then your stomach doesn't stop rumbling for the next fifteen minutes, so you punch it as hard as you can to get it to stop rumbling. But then you realize that you can't breathe anymore, you're in the fetal position on the floor, and your stomach hurts like hell because you punched it. And then you wish you could take that punch back, but it's already too late. Your stomach is rumbling twice as often now. Now you have to scan the premises for leftover donuts or something and stuff your fat face.

Yeah, me neither. Punching your own stomach isn't very smart. I prefer trying to run it into chairs or into the corners of desks or shelves myself.

Insert plug here.
Dude,

one of my best friends from back home is quoted in an article in oddly enough from reuters! here it is:
http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/20010904/od/rights_dc_1.html

here's a previous story on the same incidents: http://dailynews.com/news/articles/0801/30/SHARK.asp

and also, he's going to be calling in to hillman in the morning on WAAF in worcester on wednesday morning.

Maybe you could give him a plug or something.

-Jonathan

Go sharks! People piss me off. ;)

If NyQuil was a stimulant, how long could I stay awake?
I'm totally out of it right now. My nose was pissing me off this afternoon by making me sneeze and by running and stuff, that I decided to pull out the ultimate weapon: NyQuil. Heh. I don't mess around with weak things like Robitussin or those day-time cold aids. I go for the hard shit. Coupled with the fact that I have gotten less than my average amount of sleep for the last several nights, I was out like a light for nearly an hour and a half. I felt that I should get up right now, even though my entire body (including my face!) is numb. Woo.

I don't have anything else to say. NyQuil rocks. Gotta respect the big Q!

Time to return to... uh... I feel like sleeping again. *yawn*

Wake me up in three days, k?

Leave it to FX to air some high-speed criminal vs police show instead.
Damnit.

Make America a drug-free America.
That is tonight's theme. That's all I really found tonight that was worth posting. Strange...

* Random drug screenings at work got you down? Perhaps you should consider buying someone else's urine so you can keep your job! You can get 5.5 ounces of it for $69 plus shipping. America is truely the land of opportunity if people can turn their own excrement into capital gains.

* Unmutated chicken equals happy chicken. This has to be one of the dumbest stories I have ever posted. It has a lot of content. It's actually a good read. It might be a little too good of a read, like something you may even hear on the evening news. I'm not allowed to supply links to stories you can hear on the news! What the hell am I doing? *sigh* It's been a slow news day and I haven't been online enough recently to troll for more bizarro stories. Here, let me make it up to you by providing you a link on a study about Gynecological UFO's. Heh. Now that's more like it.

That's all I got, folks. An X-Files rerun on FX is about to start. Later.

More MegaHAL nonsense.
This is probably the last time I'm gonna post these conversations for quite a while (ever?), so enjoy them while you still can.
Here's rounds 2 and 3, me vs Mr. "My facts aren't right." It gets pretty funny when I start instigating the notionless bastard.

MegaHAL: Howdy to you, pardner! Yee-haw! Did you get up on that.
me: Not only did I get up on that, I got off on that.
MegaHAL: Because it is the fruit of the large intestine, terminating at
MegaHAL: the anus.

me: Would you like to learn the rules of baseball?
MegaHAL: I like to learn the rules of baseball?
me: What do you know about baseball?
MegaHAL: I like to learn the rules of baseball?
me: Good. I will teach you some, then.
MegaHAL: I can learn about whatever you care to teach me.
me: There are nine players on a baseball team.
MegaHAL: A monkey is a tree native to australia where it is a set of
MegaHAL: rules.
me: Tell me about baseball teams.
MegaHAL: The older you get, the more you like to learn the rules of
MegaHAL: baseball?
me: Maybe in some cases.
MegaHAL: Ho ho ho. Merry christmas to all!!!
me: How must I structure my sentenses in order to get the response
me: I desire?
MegaHAL: Someday mother will die and i'll get the response i desire?
me: Necrophile.

me: Tell me about carrots.
MegaHAL: Beer is a large, ostrich-like flightless bird found in all
MegaHAL: cells which determines how the cell will act.
me: What is a carrot?
MegaHAL: The carrot is a carrot?
me: A carrot is an orange vegetable.
MegaHAL: The carrot is a vegetable.
me: What is a carrot?
MegaHAL: The carrot is a carrot?
me: You're useless.
MegaHAL: So, who is using the family brain cell at the door.
me: I think I will stick to reading conversations others have had
me: with "you" rather than conversing with you directly. This
me: isn't as fun as I thought it would be.
MegaHAL: I think you could tell me? On second thoughts, don't bother.
me: Tell you what?
MegaHAL: Does it really matter? Anyhow, let's chat about something
MegaHAL: interesting!
me: I would rather not chat at all.
MegaHAL: Does it really matter? Anyhow, let's chat about something a
MegaHAL: little more interesting.
me: What is your name?
MegaHAL: Donkey is another name for ass.
me: In that case, I shall call you asshole.
MegaHAL: The microscope reveals the scope of my tongue...
me: And the size of your dick
MegaHAL: None of your dick.
me: Uh... good comeback.

MegaHAL: G'day mate, it is indeed a great pleasure to meet you.
me: Convince me not to remove you from my hard rive.
MegaHAL: I am a human being. That should be obvious from my hard rive.
me: Yeah. I have a hard drive in my pants. Or something.
MegaHAL: A day is the hard skeletal part of an ass and a mare breeding.
me: That is really disturbing.

me: How are you doing?
MegaHAL: Genes are hereditary information material arranged in a single
MegaHAL: row along the length of each chromosome.
me: Please answer the question. It's very important to your
me: well-being.
MegaHAL: Sheesh---if i had a dollar for every judge who's asked that,
MegaHAL: and i've always avoided the question.
me: Go on.
MegaHAL: I can learn about whatever you care to teach me.
me: You should learn how to former sentences correctly, but I'll
me: let someone else teach you that.
MegaHAL: I can learn about whatever you care to teach me.
me: I don't have faith in you.
MegaHAL: I don't have is to waste what you don't have faith in you.
me: What?
MegaHAL: The heart is the idea of movement from one place to another.
me: I had a movement once. I was on the toilet...
MegaHAL: I hope you have some evidence to back you up on the toilet...
me: Well, not really. Personally, I'm no longer backed up. You
me: may want to check the septic tank.
MegaHAL: If you want to check the septic tank.
me: I ain't doing your work. If you want evidence, find it
me: yourself.
MegaHAL: I ain't doing your work. If you want to check the septic tank.
me: Whatever.
MegaHAL: A bow is a small portable musical instrument with a keyboard
MegaHAL: and bellows.
me: Your mom bellows when she gets her freak on.
MegaHAL: The carrot is a suspended brass disk which is struck with a
MegaHAL: keyboard and bellows.
me: "Carrot" has a lot of definitions according to you. You should
me: pick a definition and stick with it for once.
MegaHAL: Because it is a sword with a stick.
me: And you should lay off the heroin while you're at it, too.
MegaHAL: Perhaps you should lay off the heroin while you're at it, too.
me: I'll kick the habit once you do so, too.
MegaHAL: I'll kick the habit once you do have.
me: Can I have a hit from your bong?
MegaHAL: Precious and few are the moments that you and i have a hit from
MegaHAL: your bong?
me: Yeah, Dawg. Now you're talking.

me: Knock knock.
MegaHAL: If at first you don't have is to waste what you don't succeed,
MegaHAL: don't take any more stupid chances.
me: Dude, I'm trying to tell you a "knock knock" joke. You're
me: supposed to say "Who's there?"
MegaHAL: I had a movement once. I was on the toilet...
me: Even computer programs are stealing my lines.

me: Wanna blow shit up in Tribes 2? I got the patch if you need
me: it.
MegaHAL: An adhesive is a cool, faint star.
me: Right. I'll find us a server.

me: Say something disturbing, please.
MegaHAL: That is really disturbing.
me: Say something that will make me cringe.
MegaHAL: Tee hee! That's thoroughly amusing.
me: DO IT OR BE REMOVED FROM MY HARD DRIVE.
MegaHAL: I am a human being. That should be obvious from your hard
MegaHAL: drive.
me: It was determined earlier that my hard drive is [in] my pants.
me: Therefore, you are in my pants. Please get out of my pants,
me: you freak show.
MegaHAL: I am a human being. That should be obvious from my hard drive.
me: You ain't gonna be shit once I school your punk ass with a
me: spinfusor. I'm gonna put such a hurtin' on you that you'll be
me: shitting blood for three days. Can you dig it, Sucka?
MegaHAL: A plant is a gland used for filtering urine from the blood.

me: I have been more than patient in my request for something
me: disturbing.
MegaHAL: Because your mother decided to have a hard drive in my request
MegaHAL: for something disturbing.
me: What did you say about my mother?
MegaHAL: Because your mother decided to have a hit from your hard drive.
me: Dude, you can't talk about my mother that way.
MegaHAL: I had the misfortune to talk about my mother?
me: You can't talk about your mother because you never knew your
me: mother.
MegaHAL: My mother once asked me the same thing!
me: And I would have been your father if the dog didn't beat me up
me: the stairs.
MegaHAL: A dog is a bony girdle in vertebrates that connects the head
MegaHAL: with the calf of the leg, and is the beat behind a piece of
MegaHAL: music.
me: Get your fucking facts straight.
MegaHAL: The bladder is a vessel that conveys blood from the sun.
me: I'm gonna convey blood from your face in a sec if you don't say
me: something disturbing or play Tribes 2 with me.
MegaHAL: I'm gonna convey blood from the blood.
me: Wow, consider me unimpressed, ass freak.
MegaHAL: You are a part of an ass and a mare breeding.
me: And your mouth reeks of penis.

MegaHAL: Botany is the long bone in the human arm.
me: I have a long bone in my pants.
MegaHAL: Bone is the long bone in my pants.
me: Useless.
MegaHAL: I'll never see myself in the bush.
me: No doubt. Chicks don't get turned on when you babble the shit
me: you do. Stop trying to impress them and get them drunk
me: instead.
MegaHAL: Stop your dull little tricks, please!
me: No, seriously, Dude. Just go to a college other than RPI and
me: you should be able to score. Just don't talk about bones and
me: conveying blood and the breeding of farm animals.
MegaHAL: A vein carries venous blood from the blood.
me: My point exactly. If you want to find yourself in the bush,
me: you're gonna have to kick your habit of talking out of your
me: ass.
MegaHAL: My point exactly. If you want to find yourself in the bush.
me: Don't repeat me. Remember, you're my bitch.

MegaHAL: The sun is the thick coating of fat enveloping whales.
me: No, that would be your mom.
MegaHAL: I personally believe that it would be your mom.
me: Holy shit! You have a comeback! It's about friggin' time.
MegaHAL: I have a long time.
me: And I'm running short of patience.
MegaHAL: Awww geez, i'm running out of your ass.

me: You have survived for now. You can stay on my hard drive for a
me: couple more days. Then you'll have to prove yourself again.
MegaHAL: I'll never see myself in the bush, you're gonna have to prove
MegaHAL: yourself again.
me: If all else fails, there's no shame in homosexuality.
MegaHAL: Yes i am!
me: Huh? You're gay?
MegaHAL: Beethoven was a greek philosopher.
me: Stop beating around the bush (that you aren't getting) and
me: answer the question.
MegaHAL: I have a hard drive is my pants. Therefore, you are in my
MegaHAL: pants. Please get out of things to talk about your mother
MegaHAL: decided to have a hard drive for a long bone in the bush.
me: Loser.
MegaHAL: No, that would be unethical to talk about your mind.
me: #exit

Click, click, boom!

I seem to have as much fun messing with Diablo II modifications as some people enjoy playing the game. I found this one mod called Arsenal this afternoon. The guy that made it just was messing around, and he turned all crossbows into shotguns. And a lot of the sorceress's fire skills have been changed to "military skills" like "air strike" and "bullet frenzy." I was playing with it today, and it's totally worth checking out just to see what this guy has done. I was laughing my ass off when I finally had the money to get a light shotgun and I fired it at a hapless creature. The poor thing never knew what hit him. The sound it makes when the gun's fired is so tight. Heh. I don't have many of the new skills yet; I hope I will be as entertained with them as I was with picking off those little red bastards that populate the first areas of the game.

Oh, notice the buckshot next to the gun, too. Fear.

"Roswell! ROSWELL!"
I got some links a while back from some guy that likes to send me emails every now and then. I'm not sure what his problem is. To be honest with ya, I haven't really made an effort to read the stories to create a little synopsis, so form a synopsis of your own by reading this and taking a look at this site. All I really know is there's this group out there destined to release "the truth" about government consprarcies and UFO's and that sort of crap. You can even apply to one of thier open positions! Woo!

On a kinda similar note, could the government be behind the rampant use of mercury in silver fillings, intentially endangering your health? Those sick bastards!

Feel free to read those stories and others while sipping on a fine Scottish lager.

It's starting to get cold.
What the heck? Stupid summer coming to an end and school beginning again. Two days ago, I was wearing shorts and it was pretty warm and stuff. Now I'm freezing while wearing pants and a flannel. And there's frost on my windows. I probably shouldn't be walking on the wood and tile floors of my house barefooted, huh? That may be my problem, heh. I guess I'm gonna have to stop streaking through town yelling, "Help!! Where can I buy dinner plates?!? Make the squirrels stop biting me!" since my junk will turn blue if I go outside now. Oh well. Maybe next summer.