More dumb stories
Yep. That pretty much sums it up.

* Shoot me. Now. This is the queerest thing I have seen in quite a while. "Celebrity" lawn ornaments.
* Anyone out there want to buy this guy's virginity? He considers himself to be quite a looker. That's why he's selling for less than $11 dollars right now. Check out his picture. I think his neck is talking. AND WHERE THE HELL IS HIS LEFT ARM? <insert Jon's credit for noticing the lack of an arm thing here>
* Gah! People have learned about Audiogalaxy. This was one of my common ways of getting mp3's when I wasn't on the RPI campus. Now it's flooded with people. Oh well. But that's ok, actually, because most of the FTP servers out there have horrible upload/download ratios and/or require you to sift through porn sites and banner ads to get "full leech access." I'll look elsewhere, thank you.
* I found this at a few places: Congrats to Homer Simpson for making "Doh" one of the most common words of the English language.

Anyone have an idea if Depeche Mode is any good? Kind of a random question, huh? :)

You have to check this out
Being incredibly lazy, I searched for "rate my website" on Google so I could take a look at the questions I should be asking when I finalize v5.1 or v6.1 of this site. After going through a few pages of links, I came across ratemymullet.com. You need to take a look at their "top mullets" section. Very disturbing. The #1 senior mullet is on a 35-year-old woman! *shudder*

I got a $10 check in the mail.
And it's not a scam, either! w00t!

A few months ago, Lieberman Research Worldwide called me to find out what I thought of certain tech companies, what my skills are, and where I thought the high tech industry is going. It was a long freakin' survey; I was on the phone with the questionnaire guy for about 45 minutes. I remember one of the questions I was asked was "When someone mentions operating systems, what operating systems comes to mind first?" I mentioned both Windows Millennium Edition and Windows 2000, and I remember arguing with the survey guy (who is obviously not a computer user. He recently bought a Packard Bell. Hehehe!) that WinME and Win2k were not the same operating system. *sigh* Good times.

But anyways, they called me again about a month later asking for my mailing address. They wanted to send me a gift. I decided to be a nice guy and give them my actual address instead of saying I was from Cambodia or something.

And today, I got a letter from them. When I saw the envelope, I was pretty sure it was a credit card company trying to convince me to cash in their $10 check so they can charge me $200 over the next 18 months. But it looks like that is not the case. Yay! I'm pretty psyched. This $10 can give me about two-thirds of a tank of gas. Woo!

Yeah. You're jealous.

Fire and death stories
I guess the title says it all:

* A goldfish bowl may be the reason for causing 26 people to end up in the hospital. There was one casualty in the incident: the goldfish.
* Doctors + laser + breathing tube = internal burning.
* And you may want to back off from your alternative medicine lifestyle. Well, you might want to stop taking so many damn Vitamin C pills. They could be killing you. *looks at his Betafood supplement* Phew! Not a good source of Vitamin C.

And on an unrelated note, don't expect your $350 video card to make web-based games run faster. A game like Planetarion isn't remotely similar to CounterStrike, Silly.

I need to finish my new design by tomorrow. I'll probably be gone for most of Sunday, since it's Father's Day. Oh crap, I still need to get the old man a gift. *sigh*

The only room in the house with air conditioning is my mom's room.
And it sucks.

Not the air conditioner. Just the fact that I'm in a continual state of sweating while at home, except when I make a trip to steal the extra phone line from my mother's computer. Bah!

Links
Today was a pretty hot day, was it not? If there was a day so far this year where getting nekkid to cool off was the only choice, today was the day. The thermometer clock outside one of the local banks claimed it was 94 degrees outside. I don't know if it was that hot out, but it was pretty damn hot.

* Note to self: Do not go to Cambodia!

* Supposedly there's this MMORPG over in South Korea that is even more popular than Everquest and all of those types of games combined. It's called Lineage. It is so popular, that if you aren't playing it, you're probably some sort of little beady-eyed freak. And they take this game seriously. A little too seriously.

* Hooray! A song about IM! Little do they know, I've had a song about ICQ on my computer for quite a number of months (made by Nina, Goddess of Dance. You used to be able to download it from mp3.com...). It freaks me out. I'm not sure why I still have it, in fact. Also, since when has "POS" been used to mean "Parent Over Shoulder" (read the article)? Nyah. I'll give you a definition for POS. My laptop is a POS. Jamie Lee Curtis is a POS. Worcester is a POS.

* Here is a dated article about Windows XP. In it, they brag a lot about how Windows Messager is like the Second Coming and how you can do more than send text messages. You can chat, too! Wow! Tell me something that it does that ICQ doesn't already do. After all, ICQ is essentially bloatware and can do everything. Even make you chocolate chip cookies. Seriously. Yeah...

Randomness
The more I work on my new design, the more I like it and the more I wonder why I haven't done this sooner. It's sweet. All I really have left to do is to come up with some sort of centered background image, make the "Does this site look like ass?" questionnaire, and maybe create a page stating what I did and how I did it. Then, I gotta upload everything Sunday and bask in my fine workmanship. And I should make sure that my last posts by the time I submit my site for grading are posts about... um... *shrug* I don't know. Maybe some sort of intro posts or something.

I hope I'm not hyping my new design too much. Otherwise, it may flop like that Batman and Robin film no one saw. Speaking of films that might flop, is Tomb Raider actually going to be good? As hot as Angelina Jolie is, past history shows that movies based on video games never turn a profit (well, except Mortal Kombat). Regardless of how well Final Fantasy does this summer, it's probably going to be considered a flop because it cost way too much money to make.

And while I'm giving myself a little break, here are a few links for you to enjoy in their full splendor:

* Stolen from Memepool, take a look at the Chess glossary. Who knew so many English words also had a different definition in Chess?

* Stolen from Jake who stole it from Memepool, take a look at some young women who read Urantia. I didn't really read their little comments to the right of their pictures, but once I found out what Urantia is, I had to close some browser windows. As Poe has said, "Can't talk to a psycho like a normal human being."

* And Metafilter works again. Wahoo! I'm pretty happy now. And to celebrate its return, I bring you this wonderful story: No diploma for you! A high school senior wasn't given her diploma at her graduation because the audience was "too noisy." Wtf? If I was that senior, there would be no friggin' way I'd sit down without getting my piece of paper.

And Sum 41 sucks. But not as much as Alien Ant Farm or whatever the hell their name is. Saliva sucks too, not so much for their music, but for their name. And any band that is trying to be successful by recycling the music that was mainstream about 5-10 years ago sucks.

Blogger needs to stop eating my archives
While Blogger does run a lot faster than it used to, I wish it would stop destroying my archive index. That's hella dumb.

I've been diligently working on the next layout for this site. It's coming out pretty well, but I have a feeling some people may find the text hard to read. I don't think I will move anything around, though. Having everything ordered like it is on the left-hand side of the page seems to work just fine.

Well, back to "work."

Spamarific
This is a somewhat dated conversation (last weekish), but it had to be saved for when I found more cool spam again. :)

me: I'm gettign spam in my hotmail account with subjects like "Are you coming over?," "LEADING US COMAPANY SEEKS," and "Is 10pm good for you?"
me: wtf
Jake: heehee
me: I want to work for a LEADING US COMAPANY
Jake: i get uh
Jake: ÓµÓа×Ììʹ£¬ÓµÓÐÃÀÀö
Jake: and
Jake: lots of ones about det
Jake: and
Jake: Re: Your FREE XXX Membership
Jake: "HEREUGO:-)"
Jake: dammit
me: I got one titled "Here's those pictures! 11548"
Jake: also
Jake: this one is my favorite
me: *scratches head*
Jake: "Diane Thought You Might Have Erectile Dysfunction"
me: HAHAHHAHA
Jake: my answer is: no, i was just drunk
Jake: heehee

With that in mind, I present to you the last sentences of this "half-priced viagra" spam message I received today:

ISN'T IT TIME YOU PLEASED HER? DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER, LET YOUR BONER BE TOO.

Spam rules.

What do I get my dad for Father's Day?
I have no clue, and I'm need of suggestions.
I don't buy "typical" gifts, like ties and mugs and stuff. I also don't buy clothes for other people.
He retired this past Christmas at the age of 55. Needless to say, if he can retire at 55, he can go out and buy whatever it is that he wants, whenever he wants.
Last year, I think I got him one of those neat electric shaving can warmers and a gift certificate to Home Depot.
Feel free to use this novel gift idea for your own father, but you owe me one. ;p

My gall bladder is broken.
Seriously. It is. No joke.

For the last few weeks, I've been seeing my mom and her estethician friends because hey, it sure beats paying rent. :p And while my skin has probably improved since I started going to the place, there's always this slight redness that always stays on my face. My face has always had this slight redness probably since high school. I never thought anything of it, dismissing the redness as something normal for people in their pubescent and post-pubescent years. And it is. But then today, Mother made me see some wacky "alternative medicine" doctor guy. He kinda looked at me for a bit and then he did these weird reflex tests (his primary study is as a chiropractor), and he told me gall bladder is not digesting food properly. So since my gall bladder couldn't... eh... "dispose" of stuff through the route it should, it gets rid of it by traveling in the other direction, towards the pores on my face. Now I have to take five tablets of this weird Betafood stuff three times a day, and see him again in a month. I was out of there in under five minutes.

Personally, I think the guy is a loon, and taking these pills is completely b.s., but I guess I'm regrettably willing to take this "dietary supplement" for a month to make Mommy happy. Maybe I'll be proven wrong. Heh. But in the mean time, you have to check out that Betafood link above just to see what kind of goodness is in these pills.

Alternative medicine. Ha! Right. And dietary supplements... is this the wave of the future or something? First, everyone used to be "stressed out" all the time, and now everyone has some sort of dietary supplement to take. Nyah. Whatever.

People can be quite amusing
Yesterday, on my way back from a suburb near Springfield, MA, there was a car in front of me with a "University of Connecticut" decal sticker across his back window. So I said, "UConn, eh?" The guy in the car with me said something to the gist of, "Hey, someone who went to a real college." Ha! Yeah, maybe if you want to go to college to play sports. I'll take my significantly more prestigious degree from Rensselaer, thank you very much.

* This brings new meaning to the term "gift wrapping."
* Variety is the spice of life. And pimpin' ain't easy. Combine the two, and you might get something like this.
* I hate people. Especially people who think that this kid may be the next Eric Harris. What the heck, my homie Jon was drawing tanks and planes blowing up all over the IT lounge's whiteboard this past school year! :)
* I'd care more for the sport of squash if Vicky Botwright gets her way. Huzzah!

Also, if your local newspaper has the comic strip Zits in it, you better read today's strip. Hehehe! I'm having flashbacks of Experimental Methods and Statistics class. :) The official Zits site is always a month behind in its release of comics, but I'll try and post the comic up when it becomes available... and if I remember to do it.

Site changes are a-comin'
Although I have recently changed this site to the way you're viewing it now, it looks like I'll be tweaking it a bit for my summer course's last assignments. I'll probably change some colors, maybe replace the background image, move the links around or something, things like that. Plus, I'll have a little survey up for a limited time where you can state how sexy you find my site, tell me how easy it is to find things, etc. Keep in mind, I'm getting graded on this, so don't pull anything funny like giving me the worst possible score on everything I ask. :p Or I'll break your little sausage-like fingers, then put a trash can over your head and hit it repatedly with a 1-quart saucepan.

How do you like me now?

I guess that also means that I may want to be "nice" for the next two weeks' worth of updates.

Nah...

Oh, by the way, how bad does this look in Netscape?

Studies show that Bush is an idiot
Out of a study of one person (me), 100% of those surveyed said that this guy shouldn't be running the country.

At least he's going to Europe. That should be quite interesting:

It is not just that Bush must persuade Europe of the virtues of his foreign policy, they say. First, they acknowledge, he must persuade Europe's leaders that he is not a buffoon.
[...]
Although he will take few specific proposals with him, Bush has made clear that his visit to five countries, including a meeting with Russia's President, Vladimir Putin, in Slovenia - a country that Bush once famously confused with Slovakia - is about winning over the hearts and minds of Europe's sceptical leaders who regard him as a lightweight on the international stage.

And instead of letting the Untied States lead by example, let's bitch about China and India being responsible for killing the atmosphere, too. But at least Bush has a great plan:

The president proposed an effort to study global warming and bolster coordination among research institutions throughout the world.

Yes. Because we still haven't figured out why this planet will look like the Sahara in x number of years. And that little convention in Kyoto four years ago was just to swap holiday recipies, right?

Anyone want to place a bet saying he'll be president for eight years?

Comics!
These are all fairly dated, so please bare with me:

* FoxTrot is always good. Jason Fox is the man.
* This strip of Dilbert isn't too good; I just love Dogbert's first two slogans.
* Pokey the Penguin is pretty dumb, but sometimes it's so dumb it's funny!

See this guy?

This guy has been waiting to pick up the Stanley Cup for 22 years. 22 YEARS! With the Avs beating the Devils 3-1 in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals, Ray Bourque has ended the record streak of playing 1,825 games(!) without ever hoisting hockey's greatest prize. He deserves it. He is the #6 all-time point scorer and he spans four decades of hockey, for crying out loud.

Congrats to Bourque.

Congrats to Colorado.