Section 4: The biology and History of humankind and its implications on our diets.

Part 1: Mankind a herbivore?

I’ve just read quite an informative article on the comparative anatomies of humans and animals. Its conclusion was that humans were committed herbivores.

If an animal is a committed herbivore, its diet would involve:

l         High fiber

l         Poor nutrition pound for pound of feed

l         High carbohydrate

l         Low fat

l         Low protein

l         No cholesterol

Now, humans can survive on those alone. True, many people live in relative good health by only eating vegetables. BUT, before you throw “full wine bottles at your computer screens” because you’ve been forced to read through the coherent (vaguely) ramblings of an Asian teenager talking about the need for fat, I provide an opinion on the article.

In the article it states that humans have all the makings of an herbivore. I must also concede to this, however, I find that the length of the human small intestine has been exaggerated. Also, it confidently states that human large intestine has extensive fermentation of fibrous substances. Whilst I cannot find this cited in any other literature, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. However, what he seems to skim over, is that we LACK the ENZYME to absorb many of the goodies that many plants undoubtedly have. The article goes to long lengths to describe how we are very structurally similar. However, it breezes over the fact that we are biologically strange if we were herbivores. We have a single stomach…definitely rare! Like a full-chested Asian woman! Anyway, it also nonchalantly saunters over how although we are very similar; we also lack some components, like rumens or other fermentation vats. Instead it focuses in its place how our large intestine seems to be designed for an herbivore (Although our small intestine would protest). It can produce cholesterol something I’ve discussed earlier, if you don’t remember you probably won’t recall this joke in future.)

Because of this I think that perhaps humans are a transient species. Between Herbivore and Omnivore. I won’t deny, that although I ramble on about the virtues of meat, humans are not total committed carnivores, although many people also live successfully only on meat. (Inuit’s for example) However, some evolutionary evidence shows this. Whilst evolution is a very vague picture, indeed we may indeed have been created on the 6th day etc., but fossil coprolites left by ancient humans show high meat, or at least high fat diets. Fat is not present in most plant matter. Humans also are an inherently cannibalistic species, again the high meat diet. Something not known of in herbivorous communities. The article goes as far as to say

“Human teeth are also similar to those found in other herbivores with the exception of the canines (the canines of some of the apes are elongated and are thought to be used for display and/or defense).”

Perhaps they weren’t there for showing off. Perhaps they were the vestigial remains from a common ancestor, the ancestor we share. The article also adds that we have no jaw muscles to allow us to grab on to prey and rip it off. However, why does the article fail to mention that we have tools, and indeed the tool usage seems to have been very old, ravens and apes use them too? A human evolutionary theory suggests with quite a substantial amount of evidence that we evolved by lakes. Swimming is instinctive, we love water and we have a huge brain with a fat acid profile needed that resembles that from shellfish and fish. (Ironic that the Bible calls shellfish abominations) So if humans evolved on the lakes of Africa, then it is extremely unlikely they got their fats from anything other than fish, and fish is not a vegetable nor is it a fruit, but in all probability, it is just wistful thinking. We probably evolved from savannah hunters. Notice “hunter”, and our tools have allowed us to evolved behaviorally to become a somewhat omnivore/carnivore without all the jaw muscles and physique difference. The article is strangely silent on the point that carnivorous carcass eaters (scavengers) are in fact sometimes not equipped for the kill…but that too is just conjecture on my part.

I can understand if you want to be vegetarian for moral reasons, go right ahead. I’m not gonna’ stop you, nor am I going to eat three animals for every animal you save (ala. Maddox). Yes, I’ve heard the stories that cows weep in the abattoirs (not too sure about that one…) and that pigs die by being chain sawed/electrocuted (yeah…I saw that one in a Spanish porn movie.), but don’t expect me to abandon my meats. If you are vegetarian for HEALTH reasons…then that‘s a different matter altogether. I encourage meat proteins for total health. And vegans…”Geh”. Don’t get me started. If you can’t take care of your own bodies then don’t tell others to go down that suicide mission along with you. You’re destined to be a small Napoleon –complexioned fool for the rest of your days.

Part 2: Cultural Divides.

We have all heard that low fat diets are being backed by inferences to the Japanese diet. The dangers of eating fat are illustrated by the dangers of eating high fat Fast food, (illustrated by the idiot eating only McDonalds for a month or so.) The Asian diet is heralded as being more natural and balanced and so on and on. I break down these “angles of attack”.

Asian diet: Although Asia encompasses a huge area, I am referring to the diets of the far east, and in particular that of Japan because it seems to be a favorite on the part of dieticians to cite in response to their high life expectancy and relative health. The long life expectancy is something to be expected, to coin a gay phrase. The Japanese have never had crop surplus of any sort, and as such have had to resort to minimalist cuisine. As we all know that means they eat very little. But here’s the crutch. Whilst orthodox dieticians say that the Japanese diet low in fat and high in fish oils prolongs their life, they also skip the fact that “caloric restriction” also prolongs life. Indeed, it is the only thing that does effectively prolong life along with restricting oxygen usage, explaining at a stroke why athletes die earlier despite health (they eat a lot, and breathe HUGE amounts of oxygen in response to their muscular requirements) and why the Japanese live so long(they eat close to nothing). So if you want to live longer eat less. That’s right…eating less. Studies have shown that it truly does do it. Not too sure if you should follow the other piece of advice…breathing less oxygen on the basis it corrodes our bodies…better give it up then.

What about Soy? Well Asians eat a lot of soy solely because it’s seen as something along the lines of a demigod. After all, it fixes nitrogen into the soil etc. (But, new evidence is showing that soy is probably very toxic and has good side effects along with those that are not so savoury. In fact the soy business is very, very powerful. But that’s another article, for another time let’s leave it at, we used it in times of poor only and we curdled it for long periods of time to get rid of its toxins. We understand the Dark side of soy, funnily enough; we lack the enzyme once again to destroy the toxins, once again suggesting we never were vegetarians or are turning into omnivores.) It also is one of the few plant sources of protein that’s out there that compares to that of animal. Soy also is estrogenic, in that it is chemically akin to estrogen, making the consumer have different fat deposit areas (Phytoestrogen it is known). Between me and my Asian readers…we backed a pretty shoddy horse although we were onto something when we came up with soy milk and tofu. Our ancestors have been eating the estrogenic soy for thousand and thousands of years and BOY are we IN FOR IT!

Asian diet has something to teach us in respect to diabetes however. Diabetes has always been known in Chinese medicine as the invasion of fire and wind (just kidding, there’s some hot air blowing here, haha). Anyway, the diabetes sufferer has always been encouraged to eat no carbs in Asia since ancient times, and continue to do so today. Western Doctors laugh Eastern medicine off because it’s too natural and I agree. But this is a dietary disease that was rare until we messed with the stuff we ate. Why not go back instead of backing synthetic horses?

What about Cholesterol levels? Well, the Asian diet isn’t the low fat diet most people think of. Chinese food is probably the greasiest food on earth. Give me a car petrol tank and make it smell pungent and appetizing with various herbs and spices, marinate a few pieces of pork in it, drain and serve. Most won’t know the difference until you eat it. (Reason to eat more fat reason number 115: Fat TASTES GOOD). The Japanese diet may seem all fatless and innocent at first, but you must remember they eat some of the most insane amounts of marbled meat and seafood in the world. And while experts continuously cite fish oil as healthy undoubtedly it is, they fail to mention all the crustaceans they eat like prawns and lobsters, which are sometimes more than 60% cholesterol if you analyze their fatty acid profiles. Furthermore, most food is cooked extremely fast to make the proteins and fats more absorbable, or eaten raw to maintain all the fats and proteins. ‘Nuff said.

French Paradox: The French paradox is, the French eat insane amounts of cream, butter and other good stuff. But have some of the world’s slimmest healthiest people and lowest incidences of heart disease. Scientist are finding answers in the wine, and how its extract phenophols seem to bind to serum cholesterol and get rid of it, although scientists haven’t gotten round to explaining that bit yet. They also seem to be failing quite spectacularly, but nevertheless I commend their honor and courage. My opinion, however humble is more simple and direct like a Wing Chun punch. “There is no French paradox”. That’s right. Fatty foods? PFFT. There is no problem to begin with. It’s only a paradox because we have chosen to believe it is because for the last 40 or so years, we have backed a shoddy mule with attached earlobes, bloody freak.

Inuit diet: The Inuit’s eat only MEAT. And I mean Meat only. Living in the arctic has an interesting drawback, and that is that it is very, very rare to find insulin-inducing carbohydrate. To compensate for energy, Inuit’s eat the most fat on earth and have the lowest incidence of any heart disease. They are perhaps the healthiest on the planet. To eat plants, the cut open the stomach of the Caribou (a bird) and eat the contents of its last meal, most likely lichen, semi-curdled style. Well anyway, I bring these little known people (“Bart, he’s not real, he’s made up, like Santa and Eskimos”), because they prove that all meat diets are possible although I don’t’ recommend it. In fact, Vilhjalmur Stefansson in the early century did something incredible. He adopted the Inuit diet for one year and allowed themselves to be tested. Clearly this was a more innocent time. Anyhow, he adopted the Inuit diet after living with them for a while. You can read the specifics in many places. Suffice to say he ate fish after fish after meat after meat. And guess what? Bear in mind that the doctors of his day 1928 February said he would last only 4 or 5 days then quit. He went the full year without any fiber. But before he did, he and fellow explorer Karsten Andersen went for 3 weeks on the typical American diet of that time. (Remember, the diet we talked about in section1? Well, bear in mind, that it will not make you lose weight. It is perfectly rounded and hence you gain none, and lose none. My diet is the modified ketogenic traditional diet purely to lose weight. Cheers!) Their basal metabolic rates and every other bodily information were recorded. Then they plunged head first into the all meat diet. Funnily enough the study was funded by the American Meat Institute...Ironic. The men were totally supervised. They were under constant watch to stop them from binging. There was no need. However, there was a hitch. Steffannson called it “rabbit sickness”, something the American Indians got when eating the low fat meat of rabbits alone. In a cruel twist of irony, they were forced to eat only lean meat. After 2 days he got headaches and diarrhea, just as he predicted. He cured himself after adding fat in the form of bacon grease fried calf brain. (Seriously!) Left to their natural instincts they ate 80% of their calories from fat. Steak lost its appeal and the chewy tendons became seductive.  Clarence Lieb, a New York gastroenterologist wrote the results up in “the journal of the American Medical Association” in 1929. Both men were in good health. Blood pressure and kidney function and calcium levels remained all perfectly normal. Both lost 2 kilos in fat only. For Andersen, the poor balding one of the two, began to gain hair again, and unexpectedly became extremely virile. The men’s faces…well they were the same, but their FAECES became “odorless with only a slightly vinegary smell”. Andersen wrote; “It seemed to me that I was more optimistic and energetic. I looked forward to each day, and was more likely to receive success and pleasure.”

I don’t recommend it, so I leave the ending to this small Inuit “chapterette” to the Washington Post. “Until the medical profession can produce more conclusive proof than the Stefansson experiment that a varied diet is not necessary for a healthy life, the public will do well to not cast aside its present dietary habits” (which were perfectly fine thank you very much. A bit on the carbohydrated side, but fine all the same.)

Fast Food: Apparently it proves that high fat makes fast food fattening. Well, if you look at the fat to carbohydrate to protein ration in any fast food, you will find that it is typically around 5 parts carbs, 3 parts fat and 2 parts protein. Well, blame the Fat why don’t you?! There is more than enough evidence for a normal court of justice to acquit fat as the vicious Silent killer. Look at the DAMN CARB LEVEL! I’m an 80 kilo man. I should be eating around 70~100 grams of carbs a day. But a single burger has like 85 grams enough to make your head spin. Coke’s fat free. Why not say it’s a health food? Well you may reply, it is sugary. Yeah, so is that bread and rice you stuff your face with everyday. Everyday, the line between the genuinely scientific and the ludicrously economic-so-lets-jump-on-the-band-wagon-and-sell-out grows closer and closer together like your forehead and your cheeks you Thimble headed freak. Not to mention the deal deep friend stuff. You deep fry in OIL! That’s why it’s FATTENING! Oh yeah? What exactly do you fry anyway? You fry meat eh? Yeah, you fry it in a like a puddle of batter too made of flour, or should I say the white powdered “wholesome” sugary crap we all love to eat. Not to mention potatoes which is also 90 plus on the GI index? That’s dangerously sugary. So shut up and eat normally. Eating a salad sandwich or a chicken breast focaccia is about as healthy as a Big Mac. I’d rather the world all eat McDonalds and become McPersons rather than see them rush to a nonfat doom.

GI Index: Well this is a breath of fresh air. However, that doesn’t mean I shut up. This is something of a new marketing thing that is more economically minded than scientifically indeed. However, remember that lower on the index, the less sugary it is and will induce less insulin. So if you must eat carbs to crave your insulin deprived state, and then eat like the bottom stuff.

"Mantaku, Spike, this is long."
"Almost finished, Jet."