She collected the roll of masking tape and the garbage can of broken glass, closing the door softly behind her. A sign on the door to remind Dawn that she couldn�t go in there might be a good idea. Not that the yellow crime scene tape wouldn�t be enough. School would be getting out soon and she hadn�t thought of a good way to tell her that Xander and Tara were dead, Willow was missing, and a frightened telephone call from Anya wasn�t helping her be optimistic about the latter.
�You gonna lie to her? To the Bit,� Spike spoke up casually, sitting on the kitchen counter as though he had always been there.
�How did you get in here? And no, I�m not going to lie to her.� she told him wearily and dumped the glass shards into the kitchen trash.
He ignored her question completely. �What�re you gonna tell her then?�
�The truth.� The word felt heavy and awkward on her tongue, rolling around her mouth like a lead marble that never managed to leave her lips.
�Right. Cause you�ve been so good with that these last few months. Been tellin� them all lie after lie after lie. You even know what the truth is anymore?�
�I know that Tara and Xander are dead. How am I supposed to make that easier for Dawn?� She glared at him with frustration.
�That wasn�t what I was talking about. What are you going to tell her about the witch?�
�I don�t know anything to tell her. Willow�s gone. She sucked all the words out the Dark Arts books at the Magic Box and did something to Anya. Froze her? Something�Anya wasn�t too clear. And that�s all I know. I don�t know where Willow�s going or what she�s doing.� Taking a deep breath, she turned away from him to stare out the kitchen window at the setting sun.
�And about how Warren magically escaped the boys in blue? You gonna mention that at all?�
�Dawn doesn�t need to know that.� The police had called to tell her and offer her protective custody. Warren had vanished right after the patrol car he was being transported in mysteriously swerved into a tree, sending both officers in the front seat to intensive care.
�Not even when Willow�s fallen right off that pretty wagon? Tara�s dead, Slayer. You remember what happened when Glory turned her all mushy in the head? If you think Willow�s going to be any different this time then you�ve got your head buried deeper in the sand than I thought--�
�I remember,� she cut him off irritably. It was all she had thought about while she waited for the police to leave. The sound of the front door opening caught her attention and she fixed Spike with another glare. �You�d better be gone by the time I come back. I don�t want Dawn seeing you here.�
�Buffy?� Dawn called from the entryway.
�Coming, Dawnie.� Buffy didn�t look back, praying that Spike would have the decency to leave.
�What�s going on? There�s crime scene tape in the back yard.�
�Sit down. Please, Dawn. Just sit down and I�ll tell you.� She waited for the girl to take a seat on the sofa, sitting on the edge of the coffee table and trying to smile. �Warren came back and he had a gun. He was trying to kill me.�
�Oh my god, Buffy. Did anyone get hurt?�
�Dawn.� She looked down at her hands. They�d been pretty useless today. She hadn�t reacted soon enough to get Xander out of the way of the bullet. It was her fault they were dead. �Xander and Tara were hit.�
�Are they okay? Why aren�t you at the hospital? You could have come and gotten me out of school!� Dawn tried to stand up.
�Wait, wait.� Buffy gently pushed her back onto the couch. �They�re gone, Dawnie. Tara died almost instantly and Xander died on the way to the hospital. They�re gone.�
Wide, disbelieving eyes searched her face for a moment and then Dawn�s expression hardened. �You don�t even care. Look at you. It�s like you�re telling me that it�s going to rain tomorrow. They�re dead because Warren was trying to kill you and you don�t even care.�
�Dawn--�
�Why aren�t you out looking for him? For Warren.�
�The police are looking for him, Dawn. All we can do is wait.�
�They haven�t been able to stop him so far.� Dawn pushed her hands away and stood up. �I can�t believe you�re just sitting here doing nothing when he�� The words died in her throat.
�Dawn, please.�
�Does Willow know? Or were you even going to tell her.�
�Willow was�she was here, Dawn. She was with Tara when it happened.�
�Where is she?� Dawn looked even angrier when she didn�t get an immediate answer. �She�s your friend and you�re not with her. Figures. It�s not like you care about anyone but yourself anymore.�
�Dawn.� Buffy winced at the stomping footsteps up the stairs, followed by the bedroom door slamming. The words pricked and prodded at her, making sense and not making sense at the same time. Maybe she�d been hoping that Willow would come back sooner rather than later. Maybe she just hadn�t wanted to face Willow�s grief, too worried that it would join forces with her own and bury her forever under its weight.
She was lost, floundering without any sort of guidance or insight. Grudgingly admitting that Spike was right, she pulled on a jacket to keep the impending evening cool at bay and left the house. If going after Glory was any indication, Willow would want Warren to pay for killing Tara and his death was probably on the price tag. The thought of it didn�t turn her stomach as much as she thought it should. She wanted to summon up righteous anger, wanted to see Warren locked in jail with the others to suffer for his crimes, but instead she found herself almost hoping that she didn�t find Willow in time. Only the memory of what too much power and too much magic had done to Willow the first time kept her feet moving.
The lights were on in the Magic Box. Anya barely glanced up from her straightening, her eyes red and puffy from crying. �I�m not going to tell you where Willow is. I�d like to kill Warren myself, but she�ll make it much more painful than I could even begin to dream of. I want him to suffer.�
�Anya,� Buffy stopped, unable to think of anything else to say.
�I know you�re going to try to talk me out of it because you�re Willow�s friend and you don�t want to see her turn into a murderer. But I�m not going to help you. He deserves to die.�
�The human world has ways of dealing with people like him. It�s not our choice.�
�You�d rather see him get out on parole after five years?� Anya shook her head with disgust and continued stacking books. �I�ve seen how the human world deals with murderers and they haven�t done a good job of it for hundreds of years. Too afraid of being uncivilized, too afraid of hurting the poor murderer�s feelings. They used to burn people at the stake for less than that, you know.�
�I can�t burn him at the stake, Anya. The police will take care of him.� She stepped out of Anya�s path to avoid getting run into. �I�m trying to help Willow. You know what dark magic can do; it�ll destroy her. Please, Anya, I�m trying to save the friends I have left.�
Anya paused and softened a bit, sniffing as she rubbed her nose. �She�s in the woods. But you probably won�t get there in time to save Warren.�
�In the woods? Can�t you give me anything else?�
�Near the cave where the Gnarl lived, Warren must have been headed there. Stupid human. It�s not like he can hide from a witch.�
�Thank you, Anya.� She hurried out of the Magic Box. The sun had gone down while she�d been inside the store, turning the finding of a witch in the woods into a needle in a haystack proposition. She hurried through town as fast as she dared, not wanting to draw more attention than necessary, and took a shortcut through one of the many cemeteries. Halfway through the graveyard, she caught sight of the familiar blaze of bleached hair. She picked up her pace, not particularly in the mood for anymore of his cryptic warnings, veiled threats, and generally bizarre conversation.
�Won�t be enough, Slayer,� he called from the shadows.
�I don�t have time, Spike.�
�You know you can�t stop her.�
�Do you have anything useful to say? Because if you don�t then I suggest you get out of the way.� She ignored the comfortable familiarity of him falling into step beside her. It was indicative of how far she�d let herself go with Spike that she felt safer with him there.
�You don�t have what it takes to stop her and you know it.�
�She�s my friend.�
�Not anymore. You know what that kind of power can do. You know how it changes someone, twists them into something dark and evil. Do you really think you�ll find a human being when you reach her?� He raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth curling into a speculative smile.
�She�s still Willow,� she told him stubbornly.
�That�s where you�re wrong, Slayer. Wrong about her the way you were wrong about me.�
That stopped her in her tracks. �What is that supposed to mean?�
�Thought you had me house trained, didn�t you? All broken in like a good little dog. Heel, fetch, guard the sis�just a dog to you. But I proved you wrong. Seems to me that you were wrong about Angel too, back when you let him kill that teacher of yours.� He smirked at her, carefully extracting a cigarette his pack and placing it between his lips. �Now Willow�s got the power and you can�t tell her to heel, can you?�
�Willow�s not a vampire; she�s not evil.�
�Evil�s a state of mind, luv.�
She turned away and walked faster. �I�m going to stop her.�
�From doing what? Killing the wanker who shot her lover and her best friend? Then what? Do you really think eating ice cream and having a good cry will make it all better?�
�She�s not the enemy, Spike!� She whirled around to face him and wished she had the time to wipe the smug look off of his face.
�She is now, Buffy. The sooner you get that through your blonde skull, the sooner you�ll be able to do what needs to be done.� He tipped his head to the side and watched her for a long moment. �It�s already over, Slayer. All that�s left is to decide who can be saved and who has to die. That�s your job; sacred calling and all that rot.�
�I won�t hurt Willow.� Her voice faltered, betraying her determination.
�Who said anything about hurt? I�m talking about dead, luv. Six feet under and pushing up daisies. Won�t be able to if you waste more time trying to talk it out of her. It isn�t Willow anymore. Remember that.�
He was right about one thing and that was about wasting time standing in a cemetery talking to him. Taking off at a run, she cleared the fence at the border and headed into the woods. Slivers of panic were beginning to pierce through the numb blanket that had enveloped her. Was he right? Was Willow already too far gone to be saved? She didn�t even know if she had the slightest idea how to save Willow, how to convince her not to do something that felt more like justice than a hollow prison sentence.
The wind carried the sound of voices, faint and too jumbled to understand the words. She strained to hear them, not caring about the snapping branches under her boots as she frantically searched for any sign of Willow. A scream cut short was almost buried under the sound of her heartbeat.
Air caught in her throat, feet slipping on leaves as she tried to stop. Willow�s face was blank when she looked away from the skinless body that was left of Warren; her hair and eyes as black as the night around them.
�Willow�what did you do?� The words stuck, almost choking her.
�Two to go,� Willow answered.
Then she was gone in a whirl of black smoke, leaving Buffy standing alone with an oozing body. There was no choice but to turn back toward Sunnydale and run as fast as she could. Willow was slipping away from her with each passing moment and she was taking what little was left of Buffy�s world with her. She couldn�t let Spike be right; she wouldn�t let him be right.
Her lungs were burning when she hit pavement and the city. She ignored the strange looks from the people she passed on the sidewalks and streets. Gunfire and shouting destroyed what otherwise would have been a normal evening in Sunnydale. A gaping hole, as though a bomb had gone off, was a new addition to police headquarters and she knew it couldn�t be a good thing. Several officers were nursing gashes from falling cinderblock. They paid no attention to her passing by and into the chaos inside. More officers and staff were running past her to get out of the building, more shouting and gunfire heard above her.
The noise led her to what was left of Andrew and Jonathan. Willow hadn�t taken their skin, preferring to pin them up on the wall as bloody butterflies with shards of jail bars for pins.
�What do you think, Buffy? A little avant guarde.�
�And a whole lot wrong.� She stepped cautiously forward. �Willow, listen to me. I know today has been awful. Beyond awful. I know that you�re hurting, I am too.�
�Really.� Black hair fluttered as her head tipped to the side. �And telling me all about how you�re hurting too is going to make me feel better? Maybe we can sit down and have a good cry. Is that your big plan?�
�This isn�t a plan, Willow. This is me�your friend. I�m trying to help you before it�s too late. You�ll lose everything if you don�t stop. This magic, you know what it does to you. If you let it control you�I know you�re trying to make it all go away, all the pain, all the grief. But you can�t, it doesn�t work. Trust me.�
�Trust you?� Willow laughed harshly. �Do you even hear the bullshit that is coming out of your mouth? You�ve lied to your friends, tried to kill them, and you�ve been screwing yet another vampire just to feel. You thought an insane asylum is a comfy alternative to this life.�
�You�re right, it�s been hard. It�s still hard, every day. But this isn�t the answer.�
�Do you have the answer, Buffy? Do you? I seem to remember that you were happy being dead, lying in the ground with your skin rotting away. Do you remember what brought you back? Me. With magic.� Willow shook her head with disgust. �You�d better try harder than that.�
Buffy hesitated. She had no plan, no strategy for attack and didn�t know how to grapple with what had happened. �It takes time.�
�Not for me.� She stepped forward menacingly and then seemed to hesitate, shaking her head as if to shake away cobwebs.
�Willow?�
�I�m fine.�
�Willow. It�s the magic. You know what it does to you. You can�t keep this up.�
�Shut up,� Willow commanded, her hand rising up. A force pushed Buffy back several inches, which didn�t seem to satisfy Willow. �You�re right about one thing. It�s time for a little boost.�
�Wait!� Buffy tried to grab hold of some part of Willow before she disappeared but her fingers only caught empty air. �Great. Now what?�
Neither the dead bodies pinned to the wall nor the rubble of what was left of the front of the police station had an answer for her. The returning police officers looked at her dazedly as she hurried out of the station. Heading for the Magic Box was the only thing she could think of, hoping to either convince Anya for help finding Willow or even something that might stop her.
Anya only sighed when the bell jingled and continued to put away the drained magic books without looking up. �Is he dead?�
�Very. And she shish-kebabed Jonathan and Andrew. She said something about a boost. Does that mean she�s looking for more power?�
�Probably. She�s bound to burn out sooner or later, start draining. It�ll happen again and again and if she keeps finding power boosts, eventually it�ll kill her.� Anya put down the books, looking genuinely concerned for the first time.
�Where would she go? I mean, she has to get power from somewhere and if she�s done with this place, what�s left?�
�Well, she�s not quite done here. But all that�s left are protection spells, which is something she isn�t interested in.� She moved behind the counter and unlocked the cabinet beneath the cash register.
�We might need those. Can you use them?�
�I can try. I don�t know how much of it I�ll be able to read. Maybe nothing.�
�Do what you can. I need to find Willow. If I can get to her before she powers up again, I might be able to talk her down.� Buffy looked around the store. An entire shop dedicated to magic, there had to be a way.
�Have you tried her supplier? When she was heavy into the magic before, she had to get it from someone.�
�Rack. I think that was his name.�
�You�ll need a demon to find him. He cloaks that pathetic hovel he lives in.� She closed the book with a sigh. �Let�s hurry so I can get back to trying to figure this out.�
�Anya?� Buffy frowned, convinced that she couldn�t have understood the subtext. �Are you�?�
�What do you think? Without Xander there was nothing left for me and vengeance is what I know so yes, I went back to it.� She was already heading for the door. Flipping the sign to Closed, she motioned out to the street. �Are we going to do this or not?�
�Why are you helping me?� Buffy tried not to look uncomfortable passing through the doorway.
Anya gave her an irritated look. �Because what Willow is doing isn�t vengeance. She�s beyond vengeance now.�
�Is there anything I need to know about this Rack?� She fell into step beside Anya. �I mean, is he human? Silver, wood�he doesn�t need anything fancy, does he? Cause I�m not really prepared.�
�He�s human. Or at least he was; I�m not sure you could call him human now. Which is what will happen to Willow if we can�t stop her.� Anya was focused on the buildings around them, searching windows and shadows for someone only a demon could find.
�Anya��
�If you�re trying to think of a good reason why Xander died instead of you, don�t bother.� Her voice was icy with contempt. �You�re the Slayer and bad things happen to the people around you. That�s how it works. You�re a magnet for pain and death. Giles, Willow, Tara, Xander. Is there anyone who hasn�t gotten the short end of the stick just because they had the misfortune of meeting you?�
Buffy stayed silent. There was no point in interrupting the catharsis of ranting when she had no explanation that would make any difference. It was hard to argue with a body count that might have been prevented if she�d never come to Sunnydale. A little voice in the back of her head reminded her of apocalypses averted and demon plans thwarted, but it was rapidly being drowned out by the whispers of Xander and Tara. She�d saved the world from evil, why couldn�t she save them from a tiny piece of metal? It was a real, if painful, question.
�Here it is. Just walk through the wall and you�re there.� Anya gestured toward a particularly dirty building. �This is as far as I go. Rack gives me hives.� She disappeared in a shimmer.
Taking a deep breath only served to fill her lungs with a noxious combination of gasoline fumes and whatever was rotting under cover of darkness. She gagged at the vile combination, holding one hand against her nose as she stepped toward the wall. Her ears buzzed when the wall shifted around her, air becoming thick with the stench of incense once the scene changed to an equally filthy waiting room.
�Why can�t evil just use a door like everyone else?� she asked the empty room, rubbing her arms against the chill that had nothing to do with temperature.
There was only one exit other than the wall behind her, a brown door stained with grime. The door opened with a creak and swung away to reveal the twisted raisin of a corpse spinning slowly in the air. Sunken eyes stared lifelessly at her, making her wonder where the gigantic spider that had drained him was spinning her dark web now.
�Wondered when you�d show up. Lost something?� Willow�s voice turned her attention from the hovering body.
Whatever ideas of comfort or diplomacy Buffy had vanished when she saw Dawn struggling against an invisible fist around her throat. Willow�s eyes and hair were black, dark veins running beneath white skin.
�Let her go.�
�What? You�re not going to give me another heart to heart about how wonderful life is? Come on, Buffy. Convince me.�
�Whatever your problem is, it�s with me, not Dawn. This has nothing to do with her.�
�It has everything to do with her.� Willow�s eyes narrowed slightly as she glanced toward Dawn. �She�s the reason you died, the reason I had to bring you back. Dragged you out of heaven. All because of one little girl. Only she�s not even human, is she? Did you forget what she really is?�
�She�s my sister,� Buffy answered levelly.
�You can�t tell me you�re not sick of the whining. Mom, Buffy, Tara, wah! Wouldn�t your life be easier without her? Be honest�if you still remember how.�
Tears were rolling down Dawn�s cheeks, lips trembling with fear despite the pressure on her neck. She couldn�t speak and only her eyes gave any indication of what was going through her mind.
�You�re not giving me any choice, Willow. I don�t want to hurt you.� Buffy moved further away from Rack�s body, trying to be subtle as she glanced around for a weapon of some kind. There had to a chink in Willow�s armor, a weakness she could find and exploit just long enough to get Dawn away from her. Because whatever she was now, it wasn�t friendly and it wasn�t safe.
�Forget to bring Mr. Pointy?� Willow sneered. �There are other ways to hurt people, you know. Watch and learn.�
Dawn whimpered and her eyes widened a second before they rolled back into her head, hands falling limp from her neck. The color drained from her skin until she was porcelain as Willow but it didn�t stop there. White faded into translucent; bones began to fade as well, only pulsing red blood still trapped beneath and beginning to shimmer with a pale green light. Another second ticked by and there was only green blood flowing, turning the room the same shade. Then there was nothing but a bright green ball of energy spinning inches away from Willow�s upturned palm. She closed her fingers around it, snuffing out the light and life.
Her lips curled into a sneer when she turned toward Buffy. �How do you feel now, Slayer?�
Frozen with horror, the contents of Buffy�s stomach were well on their way back up her throat when the room spun around her. The floor she collapsed onto, shaking and retching, looked like the tile of the Magic Box. She wiped her mouth on the back of her jacket sleeve and got unsteadily to her feet.
�If that wasn�t enough pain for you, I could always do this.� Her fingers splayed open and streams of dark lightning burst from her palms. They stopped only inches away from Buffy, sizzling and evaporating into the air. Willow looked puzzled and annoyed, trying again with the same result. �However you�re doing that, it won�t stop me.� She redirected the dark energy toward herself, chanting in what might have been Latin. The swirling cloud whisked away once she was done and she turned her attention back toward Buffy. �Now we�re even.�
�Are we really gonna do this?� There was the slightest tremor in Buffy�s voice, barely noticeable. The idea that Willow was deliberately trying to hurt her was like an ice cold shower, leaving her frozen and in shock.
�Six years as a side man and now I get to be the Slayer. Gotta tell ya, I�m a little excited.�
�You have no idea what it means to be the Slayer.� Buffy glanced around for Anya first, knowing she had to be nearby to be working the spell. There was no sign of the vengeance demon and she hoped that it meant that Anya was safely concealed.
�Why don�t you show me?� Willow moved like a cobra, almost gliding and swaying side to side.
�Give me what you got.�
The first strike was Willow. There was enough pain from blocking the punch that Buffy knew it was going to leave a bruise. Training kept her moving, trying to maneuver Willow into a good position. She had raw power and fury but lacked years of practice to hone her technique. The blows were clumsy and easily read, but when they connected they had enough force to make her ears sing. She got in a kick of her own, knocking Willow to the floor.
�That all you got, Slayer? So far I�m not impressed.� Willow waved her arm and sent Buffy flying against the bookshelf. More books and whatever else was on the shelves came hurtling toward her.
Buffy held her arms up to protect her face and rolled out of the way. �You know you can�t beat me without magic, without all your tricks.�
�Nice try.�
Another flick of her hand sent Buffy crashing through the glass display case next to the cash register. Shards of glass cut into her palms as she got to her knees and looked up to see Anya crouched beneath the register, book clutched tightly in her hands as she chanted in a whisper.
�Look what we have here.� Willow grinned as she peered over what remained of the counter. �Have I been beating on the wrong gal?�
Buffy used the shelf as a springboard, catching Willow�s shoulders and sending them both sprawling onto the hard floor. She had to keep Willow away from Anya long enough for her to get away. At least, that was the only shred of hope that kept Buffy clawing after Willow�s ankle to keep her away from the cash register.
�Get off, bitch!� Willow snarled, twisting around to kick Buffy away.
Her ribs were throbbing in a new bruise about the size and shape of Willow�s boot tread and the pain her back made her wince when she got back to her feet. Willow�s attention was on the counter, shards of glass rising ominously from the ruined case. Buffy braced herself for the attack but Willow only shook her head with a cruel smile. The shards moved in slow motion as they carved through the air, hanging still and glittering for just a moment before they turned toward their target.
�No!� Buffy�s shout was lost amidst Anya�s screaming. Blood sprayed against the wall behind the counter. �Willow! Stop!� She was thrown back with another casual wave.
�You never did get it, Buffy. The Slayer gig? It�s not about violence, it�s about power. And now there�s no one in the world with the power to stop me.� She advanced on Buffy, black and purple lighting forming between her hands.
The air was thick and heavy. All Buffy could think as she watched Willow come toward her was that Spike had been right. This wasn�t Willow. Her Willow, their Willow, was lost forever. Like a vampire, the real Willow had been swallowed up by the power inside her and only the shell remained. Only this time there was no curse that could bring back her soul and no wooden stake that could stop the monster inside. A blast of energy hit Willow squarely in the back, breaking the trance and hurling her across the Magic Box.
�I�d like to test that theory.� The voice was so unexpected that Buffy couldn�t believe she was actually seeing Giles in the doorway.
Willow wiped at the blood on her upper lip as she sat up, looking as surprised as Buffy. �Uh oh, Daddy�s home. I�m in wicked trouble now.�
�You have no idea.� Giles moved closer, making no indication that he saw Buffy at all. �You have to stop what you�re doing.�
�But I�m just getting started.� She moved to get up.
�Stay down.�
She frowned when she had no choice but to obey him, eyes narrowing to near slits. �How�d you do that?� After studying him for a moment, she seemed to relax. �Borrowed power. Won�t be strong enough to stop me, Ripper.�
�I�m here to help you.� Giles continued to move slowly toward her.
�Don�t need your help. Might want to check on your precious Slayer though, I�m pretty sure she does.� She moved to stand up again, waving away his command to stay down. �I was done with her anyway. Now I want to fight you. Remember that little spat we had before you left? When you were under the delusion that you were still relevant to me? You called me a rank, arrogant amateur. Well, buckle up, Rupert.� Her eyes turned solid black once again, voice lowering to a rumble and strange light shimmering around her. �Cause I�ve turned pro. Asmodea, bring forth��
�Vincire!� A single word from Giles produced a ball of green goo that quickly wrapped around Willow and spread, keeping her from moving or casting any spells. It bathed her entire body in a green glow and her head fell back, only her eyes still under her complete control.
Buffy grabbed onto one of the few intact shelves and pulled herself up. �What is that?�
�It contains her and her powers within a binding field. Puts her in a kind of stasis.� He finally looked toward her. �Are you all right?�
�How long will it last?�
�I can�t say. She is very powerful.� He tipped his head to the side for a moment before asking, �did you cut your hair?�
�Oh, yeah. Look�Anya!� Buffy hurried behind the counter, remembering what Willow had done. �Anya?�
�That book was very rare,� Anya answered sourly. Her demon visage gave her an even more dour appearance as she pulled shards of glass out of her skin one by one. The book had been shredded into worthless bits of parchment and leather binding.
�Are you okay?� Buffy grimaced at the blood stained clothing.
�Vengeance demons are hard to kill. It comes in handy.� Another bloody piece of glass clattered against the tile.
�Anya?� Giles leaned over the shattered counter, brow furrowed with concern.
�Can you take care of her, Giles? Willow tore up the police station earlier, I want to make sure she didn�t kill anyone.� Buffy started toward the front door of the Magic Box.
�Are you sure that�s wise, Buffy?�
�I won�t be long, I promise. I just have to know if anyone�s dead.� She hurried away before he could try to reason with her and waste more time. If his spell didn�t hold Willow long enough for them to get through to her then their troubles would be just beginning. The fresh bruises on her ribs slowed her down. She couldn�t stop Willow with fists and she was no match for her magic. Taking a shortcut, she started down an alley that cut through the city block.
�Guess I was right after all.� The burning end of a cigarette fell onto the sidewalk like a shooting star just inches from her feet. �Didn�t mean to startle you, Slayer.�
�I didn�t see you.� Buffy sidestepped the smoldering cigarette butt. �If you came to say I told you so, don�t bother.�
�Then I was right. Nothing left of our pretty little witch, is there? Pity.� Surprisingly, there was no animosity in his voice. �Now what?�
�What do you mean? I have to stop her from destroying herself.�
�Right.� Spike raised one eyebrow and looked at her sideways. �You know you�re no match for her.�
�What am I supposed to do? Run away?�
�You�ve done it before.�
That brought back painful memories of Dawn. She slumped against the dirty brick wall and slid to the ground. Glory had been stronger and more powerful and as difficult as it had been, she�d known that running was their only hope. In the end it hadn�t mattered one way or the other. Willow had been the one to snap her out the quagmire of guilt she�d fallen into after Dawn was taken. Now there was no one to pick up her pieces if she fell apart. No one left to save.
�Except you,� Spike interrupted as though reading her mind. �No one�ll blame you for saving yourself, Slayer. Live to fight another day and all. Always more vamps to kill elsewhere.�
�What about Giles?� she whispered, unable to look at him.
�Wanker didn�t have much trouble leaving when you needed him, did he?� He settled down on the pavement beside her and lit another cigarette. �Watcher�ll be just fine. Probably head back to soggy old England to be with the rest of the stuffy Council gits. You really think he wanted to come back to save your sorry ass?�
�Maybe.�
�Orders from the Council most like. And you remember how well those blokes plan things out.�
Buffy pulled her legs against her chest, wrapping her arms around her knees and resting her head. �It�s my fault. I should have stopped Warren, I should have saved Xander and Tara.�
�Right. Save the world and all the furry woodland creatures.� He shrugged dismissively. �Way I see it, Slayer, you stay here and you end up cashing it in. Think you�ll go back to that pretty heaven now you�ve let everyone die? Think they�ll take you back? Maybe this time you will end up in a hell dimension. Just like Angel.�
She blinked at him, stung by his words. �Why are you doing this?�
�Doing what, luv? Telling you the truth you�re so bloody determined not to see? Someone�s got to do it. What�ve you got left to lose? Not family, they�re all dead. Not friends, not many of those left and the witch wants you as a bloody trophy. Anya? She�ll be gone soon as she heals up enough to teleport.� He finished the role call with a harsh laugh. �Ain�t nothing left worth fighting for, Slayer. Just going through the motions is all you�re doing now.�
�I have to try.� She pulled away from him and stood up. �You wouldn�t understand.�
�Because an evil, soulless thing couldn�t possibly see the writing on the wall.� The corners of his lips curled up in a sneer. �You go up against Willow and you�ll die. You run and you might survive. Nothing�s keeping you here.�
�I�ll find a way.�
�Always said you were resourceful.� Spike�s expression turned thoughtful. �Just hope that�s enough this time.�
