Dear Jeremy,
Writing this letter is the hardest thing I have ever done. There are so many aspects to life I do not understand, including this one. My philosophy professor taught us that the mind is a meaning seeking device searching for answers. These past four days I have done nothing but search for answers. A large portion of me wants to be mad at God and another part just wants to know why. I will never understand why God does certain things. I just want to know why it causes so much pain. I now know what Mrs. Grogan meant when she said, "Life is not always fair."
The past four days have been the worse days of my life. Looking back over my life, I have so many regrets. I especially regret knowing the fact that my children will never know their awesome uncle. You told me you loved me almost everyday, and now I am writing this with a broken heart because I cannot remember saying it back to you. I never told you this, but I admired you more than any other person. You made mistakes just like the rest of us, but you always seemed to bounce back. Being a Christian in today�s world is one of the hardest things for anyone to do, but you did it. I have always envied you for your strength and courage. Someone once told me you never cherish certain things until they are taken away. Now I know how true this statement is; I REALLY miss you. I still find myself looking out my window every time a car passes by looking for you. It all seems unreal. Every time I walk into my room I cannot help but to glance across the hall into your bedroom and remember all the good, as well as the bad times we had together. I miss you more than you realize. Without you here I don�t have anyone to remind me EVERYDAY that I am a product of Satan and I am going to die a lonely, old man if I don�t find a girlfriend soon. I have never seen a whole community affected by one person as you have done to this one. I could only dream of accomplishing in a lifetime as much as you have in twenty years. It really hurts me to say this, but I really looked up to you.
Mark and I decided we wanted "Friends" played because you were more than a brother. You were a brother, a friend, and a mentor to us. I want to take this time to tell you something I never told you while you were alive, "I love you and I am going to miss you!"
Love You Always,
Josh
Dear Jeremy,
This is without a doubt the hardest thing I have ever done. I never imagined I would be writing you a letter and telling you good bye forever. You have only been gone a couple of days and the pain is already unbearable. It seems like only a few hours ago you walked into my room and said, When you take my clothes out of the dryer, make sure they�re dry!" Your voice echoes in my head and I miss you.. I found your video camera in your room with the tape of you and Richard doing a skit of the top 15 Things Women Should Know About Men. I play it over and over because the sound of your voice makes me feel as if you are still here. On Monday, I will get up, go to work, and come home in hopes of hearing your usual statement, "What are you doing here GEEK?" and then you will ask,, "Where�s that girl?" I cannot imagine life without you. You always told Erica and I that we needed to hurry up and get married so that we could have kids and you could be UNCLE JEREMY. Now, our kids will never know their UNCLE JEREMY. I miss you SO MUCH and words cannot explain that. Josh and I chose this song because as well as brothers, the THREE of us were BEST FRIENDS. Always remember I LOVE YOU, I MISS YOU, and our memories together will ALWAYS be CHERISHED. I love you and good bye for now.
LOVE ALWAYS,
MARK
Midi Selection: Friends By Michael W. Smith
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