assholes are cheap today
tuesday, october 9, 2001
SO.. i just has the most disturbing couple of hours..
i have a teacher in two classes this semester.. let's call him dr a-hole for simplicity's sake: feature writing and law and ethics, both on the same day, after each other, if that makes sense. it's quite annoying, because he's a pretty long-winded talker, but whatever.
so the past few weeks i've had a real hard time writing and being productive in class because, well, it's hard when you struggle with a) monster cold, b) depression and c) getting used to anti-depressant.. so last week i messed up, i didn't understand the feature article i had to write for him, plus had a million things to do (like a test in his law class) and never got around to turning it in. bad jennie. bad! okay. that was last tuesday.
thursday i didn't go to his feature class because i was a) embarrassed about not having turned my assignment in, i was still trying to write it and didn't want to face him and lie about it, and b) studying like crazy with sheronne, using her books, for his law test later that morning.. we spent 3 hours reading case studies and repeating things to make sure we knew them.. so yeah, i skipped class. again, bad jennie, BAD!
11.35 am i go to test with sheronne.. we get in, dr a-hole asks us all if we will mind if he eats his lunch in there while we take the test.. we say no.. he hands out test, leaves and gets his bucket o'spaghetti.. meanwhile we do what all students do when the prof. leaves.. turn to each other and go 'WHAT THE FUCK?!? this test is nothing like i expected!!' .. then we continue doing the test.. a girl shows up late and hasn't been to class for weeks so he steps outside with her to tell her she can't take the midterm.. again, we do the mumble "what the fuck?!" thing - i know i just stared at sheronne, who was at the desk next to me and was all 'what the fuck!! we didn't study this, we're screwed!' .. she nods.
dr a-hole pops in and is all "i expect it to be quiet!' we all go 'oops' and shut up. i concentrate on my test which doesn't go too well, but okay, i guess. i think i was the first to leave, heh. i know that drives dr a-hole nuts, but i just couldn't sit there any longer once i was done.
fast-forward to today.
i have my feature class with dr a-hole. i want to apologise for having screwed my last assignment up and set up an appointment with him, but he's dragging us off to the computer lab to read about bin laden, and at the classroom he babbles on and on about bin laden and he gets annoyed coz i keep adding details and whatnot -- hey, i'm not stupid. anyway. so he gets so wrapped up in the topic he keeps us there for -15 minutes- after the class officially ended .. about bin laden. so i slowly get up and everyone else does too and i move slowly towards the door and when he seems to resign to the fact that, duh, class is WAY over, and slowed down talking, i just left.
so thanks to him i only have 40 minute to my next class with him instead of almost an hour.. boo.. so i go to the echo office, relax.. go to class.. class seems to go fine, we're talking about intrusion and privacy laws, i'm enjoying class.. we get ready to leave.. he stops us and bursts into a 10 minute long RANT.
turns out somebody has said that ppl were cheating during the test (same test he walked out of 3 times, once to get food, once to talk to that girl, once to get cookies that he then handed out!) and so he has a big speech about how he knows who the individuals are and he is extremely disappointed and those who did it will know he is talking about them and he won't pursue legal actions according to school policy but should it happen again, yada yada, and we should consider this a 'threat'.. okay, whatever. so we're all quiet and about to walk out.
now, during the class we had talked about what is news worthy or not.. we talked about a hypothetical school teacher and if it would be okay to mention that she has clinical depression in a news article.. i explained in class what clinical depression means (heh, i'm so helpful).. so in my deluded state i figured now would be a good time to approach him after class and apologise about my failed assignment last week and inform him of my medical problems and that i would appreciate it if we could discuss something that could help me out, maybe a make up assignment, or at least discuss future assignments..
so as we are walking out, i go up to him and say, as professionaly as i can (i hate to sound childish) "excuse me, dr a-hole (actually, i addressed him with his legal name) , do you have 5 minutes where we could talk now?" .. and he won't look at me, doesn't answer, just demonstratively walk past me and to his office..
so i get confused but figure he's just upset because of the cheating speech he had to give so i follow him to his office that is just around the corner.. he opens the door, still not talking, so i wait outside the open door, apprehensively.. finaly he grunts a "come on in, jennie" and then he just sits down, looking at the desk.. i'm a bit confused but still figure he's just upset from class..
i say "hi. i wanted to talk to you because i know i messed up in our feature writing class. i feel i need to tell you that i actually have been diagnosed as depressive the past few weeks and have recently begun treatment for this. i'm not trying to blame everything on this, but i wanted to let you know what was going on."
he's silent, shakes his head and is all 'well, i don't know what to say." and i'm confused because he's not really responding and doesn't seem to be listening to me, so i get all nervous because i don't know what i'm supposed to be saying. and he seemed so weird, so i asked him:
"i'm sorry, i'm confused -- have i done something wrong? you seem upset with me. i realize i haven't handled this assignment well, but that's why i've come.."
"i am upset, yes, in regards to the talk i just had with the class."
"oh, i can understand that. so, i am worried about our feature writing class, i know i have fallen behind and i need to try and rectify that - do you have an upcoming office hour where we could schedule an appointment?"
"my office hour is between 11-12 tomorrow. if you want to come by then, that's up to you."
"oh, okay, well, okay.. what do you mean? i mean, you look very stern?"
"i am stern right now, and i think i've made myself clear in class. i am upset at this kind of behaviour that took place last week."
"what? i mean i'm confused, i mean i feel like you are accusing me of something and i don't know what -- are you trying to say that i am one of those you were addressing in class? or what do you mean? i don't get it?"
"those who need to feel concerned will know who they are, like i said in class, and you know best about that."
"are you accusing me of cheating? i mean, i'm confused because i -know- i have no reason to feel accused of anything, but the way you are speaking to me seem to imply that i am -- what do you mean?"
so he went silent, then said: "if you have a medical problem you need to get a doctor's note. will you be able to get one by the time you see me tomorrow?"
i was confused and disturbed at his weird behaviour, and i said: "uh, i don't think so, i mean, i have a therapy appointment tomorrow afternoon? i could try then?"
"well then you don't need to see me tomorrow, come back when you have a doctor's note."
"but i need help for thursday's assignment, with the topic.. you said to come talk to you.. what's wrong, you seem angry with me and i can't figure out what i've done?"
"i think i've addressed myself enough in class. it's up to you if you feel like i was addressing you. come back when you have a doctor's note if you want to use that excuse."
so i just left, i was SO very upset and confused. i mean, of course i should have owned up to messing up the assignment, but it's only been a WEEK - it's hard going to a teacher and be like "look, i'm having personal problems right now and it shouldn't affect me that much but it has and i realise i haven't been
responsible but i would like to try and salvage things".. i was PROUD for doing it now, when i recognise i need to, because i'm not working out.
and instead he pretty much accused me of CHEATING! so pathetic! and he wouldn't admit to it which leads me to believe he has nothing to go at, he's just doing reversed psychology, hoping people who feel guyilty come to him -- i only came because of the convo we had in class about the lady with clinical depression and he seemed sympathetic so it seemed like a good time to bring it up, the cheating speech didn't make an impact on me because duh, i didn't cheet so i didn't care, you know?
so i walked away from the office extremely upset, and i walked by mike from the office and he was all 'what's wrong??' and i just said "not now" and walked into the echo office and into DP's office and burst out crying coz i was just totally freaked out.
i didn't expect anyone to follow except marla maybe who i've been getting along with at the office, but marla, claudia (real nice lady at the office), Mike and DP (my boss) all followed me in and DP was like "don't worry, just tell me what happened" and i told him and they were all just shaking their heads, and DP was all "that is ridiculous" and told me dr a-hole had been talking to him the other day about his cheating students, pounding the table and DP was all annoyed because it seemed like dr a-hole was talking about his staff and wanted
DP to do something, and DP was all 'this is not my problem, and you left
yourself wide open by walking out from the test"..
and Mike ran out and came back and said he'd gone and asked dr a-hole "why'd you make jennie cry?!?" and dr a-hole said "ask her." and that was that.. asshole. but i was touched by mike's niceness, albeit a bit misguided ;) (he's the guy i used to fight with tons! heh.)
so anyway. i felt better after that -- at least they all seemed as baffled by dr a-hole's outburst as i was, and they wer every nice.
marla stayed after that and cheered me up a bit and we decided to get pizza.. so we told DP, and DP was all 'well, get me some pizza too.. i will even give you some money.. it's worth it if Marla can cheer jennie up.." .. hehe.. and gave us $10.. so we went to NY pizza and got a big one and took to the office and munched. and now i'm cheered up.
and now i have french. i will learn a new bad curse in french to use in reference to this ridiculous situation. ha! �� 5:30 p.m.
...
well boo, i wanted to be t-1000, just like anja! but i love the iron giant. ooh, pretty! hee hee. go see what robot you are!
�� 7:59 a.m.
