oh well.
saturday, december 15, 2001
i can stay in the dorm until noon, tuesday. then angela and her family has extended their kindness even more (dude! i should get them, like, a pokemon cheeselog or something. :) ) and will take me into their home until they leave next saturday. then i've got the house until dec. 28th, when i will be (rightfully!) kicked out and move into the newspaper office a few, grungy days. hee. i look at is as an exciting indoors camping trip. with, y'know, lots of electronic equiptment, and bathroom stalls next door.
the campus is soooo deserted already. i took the opportunity to do things i never get to do, like blast music very very loudly and put on as anime-esque make up as i want to without stumbling onto people. fun. now i just hope i really will be able to get into the building later tonight. and that they don't turn off the heat. or hot water. or electricity! heh.
exciting days, indeed. had my very last final of the semester today. now all i have to do is finish writing (and i will, so nyah) a way over-due paper and slip under a professor's door monday, and i'm all out. phew!
extra sugar! extra salt! extra oil and MSG!
heh. i got off the prescribed anti-depressant (yes, the therapist agreed) because it wasn't doing much of what it needed to do and wow. i really, really didn't realize how much of my energy it shaved off. i mean, i knew that the point was to stabilize so that i didn't have really low points or high points to clash with each other, but geez.
instead of a calmer middle road, i feel like it put me just below that, with very few moments of going up to breathe. if being stabil means a solid sad mess of days of feeling crap, then, er, no thanks.
i missed my hyper happy days. i missed waking up just feeling like i was going to burst and skittles would rain down on all. heh. wow. see, at first i thought i was just imagening it when i woke up giddy thursday, because i did get a bit giddy every now and then since being on prozac, but hello, it's saturday and it's still there, this solid energy. i really, really, really missed it.
it doesn't mean it will stay this way, of course--this is not a matter of feeling "happy" every now and then, but it's a relief to have at least a breather from the heavy droppy face thing. i feel mischievious today.
oh well. all made up and hyper, and the campus is empty. frrr. there you go. :)�� 7:58 p.m.
