In a related tale, our own Cockney Jock discovered the importance of remembering the First
Footer tradition when he was not admitted "ben the hoose" because he forgot the "bloody piece
o' coal." In the words of Dave Barry, "This is true, this really happened, I'm not making this
up."
"It was Hogmanay back in 1968 and myself and a few friends
had gone out on a pub crawl for a few drams to celebrate the New Year. Being raised in London,
one had the tendency to think as a Sassenach and not as a Scot, although my parents were Scots.
My father was an Aberdonian from Strathdon, and my mother was from Paisley, Clydeside.
"It didn't occur to me that this First Footing bit was serious business, at least to my mum. So,
after quaffing several drams and many beers, and seeing in the New Year at the pub, myself
and my mate, Pete, staggered home to my folks' place. Upon ringing the doorbell, the door was
opened by my mother who is a diminutive 4' 10-1/2'' and gives real meaning to the phrase, �She
Who Must Be Obeyed.' She immediately demanded to see the First Footing gift before she
would let us in.
"Well, I looked at her and laughed, thinking she was joking, and said I didn't have one. Her
reply was, �Well, ye little sod, ye'll nae come ben this hoose the nicht wi oot it,' and she
slammed the door in our faces.
"Well, what to do? The pubs were all closed, as were the stores, but my friend Pete had a
brain that wasn't totally awash in Scotch. He suggested we go back to his place and get the
bottle of Scotch he had been saving for a special occasion.
"Back to my mum's house we trotted, and this time it was my dad who answered the door. He
let us in without asking for anything, but he paid for that one. My mother found out and gave
him hell until we produced the bottle of Scotch. That placated her, but not until she chastised
me for not knowing better, and asked me where my pride in my Scots heritage was. I blurted
out something about being raised as an Englishman -- and a Londoner to boot -- and that
carrying lumps of coal from pubs after a skinful of brew wasn't exactly high on my priorities
list. And as to wearing a kilt as First Footer, �Forget it Baby,' I didn't own one, and if I had,
I doubt that I would have worn it, especially in some of the boozers I used to frequent in my
young and foolish days.
"I tell this little tale just to show that a lot of these old, and sometimes silly, traditions still
carry a lot of meaning for people. The lesson I learned was that my mother was one of those
who took it semi-seriously. I believe she really would not have let me �ben the hoose' that
night, although the whole episode was filled with fun and laughter."
