Me at the end of school on Monday:
"Finally, I have escaped from this dungeon of peril! ...Only to come back tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day..."
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"Any idiot could do that!
Well, the reason I won't do it myself is because I am not an idiot!"
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"If we were meant to write more than we typed, pencils would have 'Net access."
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"A wise man once said... something. I know it was very wise and important, only I don't exactly remember what it was."
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"Deep down, we're all pretty darned clueless; it's just a matter of who's the best at concealing it."
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"There's only one thing that would really bother me if the end of the world were to come. It's the fact that all of those people who write the weird articles about it will get to say 'I told you so'. Because then I would have to hit them, and I might not get into heaven so easily then."