| Q. What is the similarity betwwen the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper? A. They both circle Uranus and search for cling-ons!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Q. What happened to the gay guy who put a nicotine patch on his dick? A. He went down to two butts a day!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Q. How does a woman scare a gynecologist? A. By becoming a ventrioquist!!!!!!!!!!! Q. Why do women wear jock-straps when sky diving? A. So the dont whistle!!!!!!!!!!!!! Q. Why did the gay man take two asprins with his viagra? A. So sex wouldnt be such a pain in the arse!!!!!!!!!!!!! Q. Why is sex like pot? A. The quality depends on the pusher!!!!!!!!!!!!! Q. What does a nympho have in common with a battery? A. There both ever ready!!!!!!!!!!!!! Q. Whats the difference between a womans hand and hot water? A. Hot water makes the meat tender while a womans hand makes it hard!!!!!!!! Q. Whats the difference between a scooter and a woman? A. With a scooter you pump then mount!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Q. Whats the difference between a hockey game and a high school reunion? A. At a hockey game you see fast pucks!!!!!!!!!! Q. Did you hear about the female vampire who went to a party whilst having her period? A. She drank herself under the table!!!!!!!!!!!1 Q. What do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of an ugly man? A. A tatoo!!!!!!!!!!!1 Q. Why are women like tiles? A. If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years!!!!!! Q. What do you do in case of a fall out? A. Put it back in and take shorter strokes!!!!!!!!!!!!! Q. Whats hard and straight going in and soft and sticky coming out? A. Chewing gum!!!!!!!!!!!! Q. What do you call a female peacock? A. A peacunt!!!!!!!!!!! Q. Whats the difference between a microwave and a homosexual? A. A microwave wont brown your meat!!!!!!!!!!1 Q. Why is a joke like a pussy/dick? A. Neither is any fun if you dont get it!!!!!!!!!!!!! Q. What do you call a turtle with a hard on? A. A slow poke!!!!!!!!!!!! Q. Why is it good for young boys to read playboy? A. It improves their hand eye co-ordination!!!!!!!!!!!!! Q. Why do women fart after they take a piss? A. They cant shake it so they blow dry it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Q. Whats the difference between a girl and a toilet? A. A toilet doesnt want to cuddle after you drop a load in it!!!!!!!!!!! Q. How do you get three old ladies to say fuck? A. Get the fourth to shout BINGO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Q. What do you call dried up semen? A. baby powder!!!!!!!!!!! |