WE WERE ON AN THREE DAY MANEUVER IN THE WOODED AREA OF CAMP McCOY WISCONSIN. THE CAPTAIN HAD GIVEN US A LOT TALK ON WHAT WERE DOING AND WHAT WE WERE GOING TO DO ON THIS MANEUVER TO FLANK THE BLUE ARMY. MOST OF US WERE YOUNG AND FULL OF LIFE AND PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT THE CAPTAIN SAID WAS MEANINGLESS, OF COURSE WE THOUGHT WE KNEW EVERYTHING. HE HAD STATED THAT THERE WAS TO BE NO LIQUOR OF ANY KIND IN OUR PACKS.
AS USUAL I DIS-REGUARDED HIS WISHES AND IN MY SADDLE BAGS I PACKED A BOTTLE OF RED WINE. ALSO IN THE SAME SADDLE BAG I PUT MY SHAVING EQUIPMENT WHICH CONTAINED A VERY LARGE GLASS CONTAINER OF A SHAVE CREAM CALLED PREP.
WELL THE FIRST DAY WENT QUITE WELL, WE BIVOUACKED FOR THE NIGHT AND AFTER A FAIRLY DECENT NIGHT EXCEPT FOR THE BUGS WE AWOKE TO THE SOUND OF THE BUGLER,I KNOW NOW WHY THE SONG GOES "SOMEDAY I'M GOING TO KILL THE BUGLER," FIRST COME THE CARE OF THE HORSE, THEN THE MAN HIMSELF. ALL THIS TAKEN CARE OF WE HAD CHOW AND MOUNTED UP FOR THE DAYS RIDE.
WELL ABOUT THREE HOURS OUT WE WERE TO CROSS A LARGE FIELD. THE CAPTAIN GAVE THE COMMAND TROOPERS IN LINE AND THEN THE COMMAND TO TROT. AT THIS POINT ALL WAS WELL. THE NEXT THING I HEAR WAS THE BUGLER BLOWING CHARGE. THE CALL YOU HEAR IN ALL THE OLD WESTERN MOVIES. THIS CALL KINDA GIVES A PERSON A WILD FEELING. I RAISED MY PISTOL AND AWAY WE WENT, RIDING LIKE THE WIND. WELL AS MURPHY'S LAW WOULD HAVE IT THERE WAS ONE JUST ONE GOPHER HOLE IN THAT BIG FIELD AND MY HORSE HAD TO STEP IN IT AND DOWN WE WENT. I GOT UP AND THE HORSE I HAD THAT DAY WAS STILL DOWN. SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME.
I WENT OVER AND CHECKED HIM OUT AND HE DIDN'T SEEM TOO WORSE FOR WARE SO BETWEEN THE TWO OF US HE GOT BACK ON HIS FEET. I WALKED HIM A BIT TO SEE IF HE WAS HURT AND HE SEEMED ALRIGHT. I CHECKED MY EQUIPMENT, THINGS WEREN'T TOO BAD, MY SABER WAS BENT LIKE A HORSE SHOE, THAT WORRIED ME A LITTLE BUT THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO ABOUT IT AT THE TIME. SO MY HORSE BEING ALRIGHT AND ME NO WORSE FOR WARE EXCEPT FOR THE DIRT ALL OVER ME I GOT BACK ON, TROTTED A LITTLE, THE HORSE APPEARED ALRIGHT. I LOOKED UP AHEAD AND THE TROOP WAS ABOUT FIVE HUNDRED YARDS IN FRONT SO I PUT THE HORSE INTO A FULL GALLOP AND SMILING FROM EAR TO EAR RETURNED TO THE REST OF THE TROOP.. REPORTED TO THE CAPTAIN THAT EVERYTHING WAS ALRIGHT. NOW AT THIS POINT I MUST EXPLAIN SOMETHING. I HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE SHAVING CREAM AND THE BOTTLE OF RED WINE IN MY SADDLE BAGS. THE CAPTAIN RODE AROUND ME THEN SAID IS THERE ANY REASON WHY PURPLE FOAM SHOULD BE COMING FROM YOUR SADDLE BAGS. IN THE FALL THE BOTTLE OF WINE AND THE JAR OF SHAVING CREAM HAD BROKEN AND THE GALLOP UP TO THE REST OF THE TROOP HAD MIXED THEM VERY WELL, AND OF COURSE MY HORSE SMELLED LIKE A BREWERY. GOD I HATE DIGGING LATRINES........